Favfables1:
Nice write up chief...
Verbal abuse is as potent as physical abuse, if not more, yet no one talks about this all because the effects of verbal abuse is not immediate or as visible to everyone in the short run ...

The same way women are told to run away from men who abuse them physically, should be the same way men should be encouraged to run away from a woman who is verbally abusive!

I've said it before and I'll say it again...
The day my wife abuses me verbally is the day that marriage ends .... I'm never going to sacrifice my mental health on account of this thing called "marriage" ...

And also...
Just as we're advicing men to control their temper, also advice women to control their mouth!

Cause a woman's power is in her mouth and a man's is in his fist (contextually speaking), why then should a man be told to hold back and "control" himself, while the woman unleashes on him?

Actions have consequences, if you're gonna abuse a human being, then you should be ready to face the aftermath of that action...

Fact is...
One of the reason a woman can continue being verbally abusive is because she knows that there wouldn't be any consequence to her abuse...

Point it clearly to her that abuse won't be tolerated and watch her fall in line...

ChoCho54:
Because I be chef or im mama?

MadamVanessa:




Inasmuch as I kick strongly against domestic violence on women. But if we want to be objective and look critically into most of domestic violence carried out by men on women, we'll see that about 68% of it are caused by women.

The way and Manner wives talk at their husbands is always sad, and it's enough to make a sane man go insane immediately and unleashed his anger on the wife through beating.

Men should learn how to control their anger, because when you lay your hands on a woman, the society don't want to know the level of insults the woman gave you, all the blame will be on you and almost everybody including your fellow men would see you as a very irresponsible person.

ChoCho54:
Donleo92 don give NLs assignment
Enough of Buhari and his bandits stories jareh

pacespot:
The problem with country laws all over the world that is affecting men generally is that, the law only establishes an offense when a physical contact is recorded. But there are so many ways you can abuse someone and cause them serious mental agony without lifting a single finger to touch them.

Constant demeaning posture, nonverbal disdainful posture, off-putting personal scorn, distasteful bodily insults, etc. are some of nonphysical abuses which should attract punishments under the laws. Because these seemingly innocuous abuses often culminate into physical response if unattended to.

donleo92:

Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to the church to deal with. What happens when the man doesn't go to church? What happens when the woman doesn't believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was spewing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unprintable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said he'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.

I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shrunken before me. He was deflated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to distract me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence ensued. I excused myself and left his house.

I was really sad.

You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through in their houses. They labour and toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shrivelled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was recalled because his wife released a story to the press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.

In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grown up children.

A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with one mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they were witnesses to how their mum constantly harassed and abused their dad and wanted the whole world to know that their dad was not who their mum was painting him to be.

Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

A family is currently at odds with the widow of their son and brother. The wife was constantly verbally assaulting him. Nobody wanted to visit them because each time they were around, it was always quarrel and the wife would call him unprintable names. Even in their presence. When they try to interfere, she will give them their own. The man died recently of heart-attack caused by high blood pressure. He was in his late 40s. The family insists his wife sent him to his early grave with her verbal torments.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Men are finding every excuse to travel because they'll rather be anywhere than in their own homes.

Everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the women?

Double0h7:


I didn't see it this way... I read it as an awareness for men who are verbally abused by their wives. Unless you're claiming that such cases don't exist then there's nothing to correct here. IMHO!

VictorUSA:
The reason why I hate women is the rate at which I see married women flirting with me.Could you believe that imam wife was just casting seductive looks at me? She does things I don't understand, saying somethings that tells me clearly that she's interested in me.Imam's wife.Women are all useless regardless of their origin.

donleo92:

Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

dacblogger:

I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.

donleo92:

Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to the church to deal with. What happens when the man doesn't go to church? What happens when the woman doesn't believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was spewing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unprintable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said he'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.

I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shrunken before me. He was deflated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to distract me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence ensued. I excused myself and left his house.

I was really sad.

You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through in their houses. They labour and toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shrivelled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was recalled because his wife released a story to the press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.

In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grown up children.

A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with one mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they were witnesses to how their mum constantly harassed and abused their dad and wanted the whole world to know that their dad was not who their mum was painting him to be.

Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

A family is currently at odds with the widow of their son and brother. The wife was constantly verbally assaulting him. Nobody wanted to visit them because each time they were around, it was always quarrel and the wife would call him unprintable names. Even in their presence. When they try to interfere, she will give them their own. The man died recently of heart-attack caused by high blood pressure. He was in his late 40s. The family insists his wife sent him to his early grave with her verbal torments.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Men are finding every excuse to travel because they'll rather be anywhere than in their own homes.

Everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the women?

Ginomel:


You didn't say this with mere flesh and blood but you were led by the spirit.

Well spoken especially second to the last paragraph and the last paragraph.

BERNIMOORE:
well, sometimes I still accommodate my old friends in fact my classmates who are ladies that we have affair before at times send me text messages, and yes I must admit that I have someone before that I retire to when things are getting boiled up...but I have even stopped since and even apologized...but its difficult for her to forgive...My fathers side of family are polygamous in Nature but I chose to be monogamous... I don't think life has to degenerate to this point if we can't forgive ourselves and get the best of life when we are still less than our 50s

But, like I said, I will bear it, as my fault.

ExcelDBM:


One cow for you

placeofallure:
Family nuances.

Every marriage with its peculiarities. All kinds of abuses physical, emotional, verbal and the rest of them boils down to our inability to properly communicate in the house. Communication isn't just opening and closing your mouth.

There'll always be misgivings committed by either of the partners. Now if your spouse does something bad, address that issue, ONLY that issue, proffer solution if you can. It ends there. Don't bring the history of how his uncle was like that, or reminding her about how all her sisters are divorced ....how he did the same thing last century and blablabla... Women are more guilty here. That is what annoys the man and if he lacks self control, your guess is as good as mine.

Many men in my opinion are immature. You need to nurture them the way you would your 5-year old. If women understand this, there'll be peace.

That's not an excuse to misbehave notwithstanding. If you are not up to it as a man, don't marry. A man should be able to make informed choices that is best for his family. These failings or shortcomings are the things that infuriate a woman. And if she has an unbridled tongue, reeling begins. Plus men have this ego problem. It's not a taboo to see a wife more sensible than the husband. Men, know this and know wisdom. As a man, you could borrow sense if yours is inadequate. It doesn't make you less of a man. You're to complement each other. Marriage is not a competing ground.

God save our marriages.

Tranquility2345:


You never jam some kind stubborn women

TheWolfen:



I know this is your opinion. But it is stu/pid and sense/less

royalfly:

U never marry. Pray hard.. as i dey so, i done tire, u can never understand.

yongg:


It is understandable if the vileness happens once in a while or scarcely or maybe I meant one with a noble rationale but not a go-to for a supposed partner, soul mate, a second skin.

Even the good book understands that no man can hold it together long term... It's not just a healthy way to live.

ManOfSon:


Wrong. I've been married for 22 years & still going strong. Marriage is not for immature boys who think

they become men by beating up on women.

royalfly:


Talking about the pain of men and you talking about beaten up women.. u have been married for 22 years, i guess u have been married based on finlandisation treaty. See enjoy. If you cant understand a simple view of men then u be mumuman.. abeg nor be insult but a fact. That u have been enjoying urs dont mean others dont have issues. Well just dont mention me again.

ManOfSon:


The real mumu is you if somehow you don't know that every marriage is unique, that every marriage has challenges, including mine. It's how you deal with the challenges that defines success and failure. What if I told you my marriage has been a bed of roses? That will be a fat lie. Not every man is fit enough to be a husband. Not every woman is fit enough to be a wife. Marriage is hard work, men. If you can't stand the heat - or if you think a solution is to be beating on the woman - get out the kitchen before you kill her or she kills you. IT IS THAT SIMPLE.

donleo92:

Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to the church to deal with. What happens when the man doesn't go to church? What happens when the woman doesn't believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was spewing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unprintable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said he'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.

I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shrunken before me. He was deflated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to distract me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence ensued. I excused myself and left his house.

I was really sad.

You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through in their houses. They labour and toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shrivelled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was recalled because his wife released a story to the press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.

In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grown up children.

A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with one mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they were witnesses to how their mum constantly harassed and abused their dad and wanted the whole world to know that their dad was not who their mum was painting him to be.

Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

A family is currently at odds with the widow of their son and brother. The wife was constantly verbally assaulting him. Nobody wanted to visit them because each time they were around, it was always quarrel and the wife would call him unprintable names. Even in their presence. When they try to interfere, she will give them their own. The man died recently of heart-attack caused by high blood pressure. He was in his late 40s. The family insists his wife sent him to his early grave with her verbal torments.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Men are finding every excuse to travel because they'll rather be anywhere than in their own homes.

Everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the women?