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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. (1421 Views)
My Wife: Why Is The Life of Women So Complicated? / Good Advice Please. Do I Have A Case In This Matter? / Is My Wife Correct On This Matter? (2) (3) (4)
This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Kreddy: 1:34am On Apr 24, 2022 |
There's this girl I've been dating for a year now. I met her at a friend's wedding. I've met her mother before we went far in the relationship and thankfully she "yessed" the relationship. Two months ago, I had a disagreement (due to her unfaithfulness) with my fiancee. I was a little bit tensed and I ended up calling her a dog. I really love her, there's a time I visited her out of blue,She asked me to sit which I denied,I angrily asked her if she put a charm on the chair for me to sit on. It took some weeks before we came to terms again. I was not aware that all my statements had been reported to her mom. Last Friday,I was publicly embarrassed by her mother. I was with her on that faithful night,in the middle of our discussion,her mother just showed up and told me she can't marry me. She made allusion to my utterances, (charm). I left the spot shamelessly. Now today the girl visited me and asked me to impregnate her to avoid being given to a man who's being giving her mother money. This girl was raised by a single mother,her elder sister was also supporting the mother. it's only her immediate brother that's against her being given to the man. The man, who's being conversing with her mother and sister on phone,wants to make her the second wife. The main issue is that, I'm an undergraduate at my penultimate year, living with my parents. I can't yield to her request (impregnating her) which might be disastrous, I'm not financially stable. The girl really loves me and I do too. She burst into tears when I told her to follow her mother's Will. I have lost my sense of reasoning,I can't just arrive at a logical conclusion. What should do?? This night,she also confided in me that my brother's wife who's related to her father,used to tell her mum how wicked my mom is, that my mom use to control her children. This I didn't really see it as an issue. If I were to take up this matter,my mom would really not take it lightly. Though I was advised by my younger brother to confront her on it. But I'm resisting the urge. I really need your inputs on this matter. RoyalRoy @RoyalRoy please do frontpage it,to get more inputs |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by libertyfather(m): 1:46am On Apr 24, 2022 |
It part of the journey in life, if you are not capable, let go of her..getting her pregnant this time you may loose your balance forever 7 Likes |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Amos1423(m): 1:50am On Apr 24, 2022 |
Oga if you end up marrying this said girl you'd end up in a deadlock with your wives mother whom I turn would not only make life miserable for you but your children. Remember Patience Ozokwor and how evil she is in her movies? Imagine such scenerio in play! Don say I didn't warn you oo 5 Likes |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Kobojunkie: 2:33am On Apr 24, 2022 |
Kreddy:I honestly think you both need to do some more growing up before pushing the marriage button. Give each other time apart to think about what you really desire and to grow. 3 Likes |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Freestainworld(m): 2:37am On Apr 24, 2022 |
Focus on your studies young man, you will be alright last last. 5 Likes |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by ZIMDRILL(m): 2:52am On Apr 24, 2022 |
Kreddy: you marry her you will be always compared to the man they had chosen for her already are not the chosen one they wont have to help you whenever problems arise in the marriage sometimes we under estimate the power of family the family doesnt like and you dont have the finance to stand on your own, your marriage will be always attacked worse you said she was raised by the mum, what the mums says goes 3 Likes |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Mooh247: 4:23am On Apr 24, 2022 |
That is how devil destroys wonderful destiny... Never force love, don't manipulate your way into marriage , don't make expensive life decisions based on unstable emotions What is rightfully yours would not give you unnecessary heartache Most happily married people also have an ex that it didn't work out with, some while in school others later in life but when the right partner steps into your life everything becomes easy . 3 Likes |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Nobody: 5:03am On Apr 24, 2022 |
I wonder how people see trouble and still enter am. Okun wo yaa, osa wo yaa, omo buruku toribo! 2 Likes |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Richy4(m): 5:45am On Apr 24, 2022 |
I will say that you were on the right track for disagreeing to do what she asked for except telling her to do what her mother asked her to do which is marrying someone against her wishes... Tell her to put her foot down and should refused any kind of marriage arrangement except for someone she likes Finally, Buddy, please control your tongue next time .... Just saying this for the future... weigh what u have to tell someone before you let it out...This is because U got the Acidic type of tongue and when u accidentally spray it, it burns.. 2 Likes |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by emmanuelbrown26: 9:15am On Apr 24, 2022 |
From your story, I know that this has to do with afonjas, their girls like to carry belle up and down like rabbits and their mothers like baby mama. Op u are still a baby boy that wants to eat masters chop Go back to school and finish your studies, d little girl should go and Lear trade before menopause come calling. 1 Like |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Kreddy: 9:57am On Apr 24, 2022 |
Mooh247: RoyalRoy , Richy4 Thanks for your contribution. 1. How do I tell to go follow her mother's wish without hurting her feelings? 2. How do I handle my brother's wife issue? 1 Like |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by yuping(m): 10:09am On Apr 24, 2022 |
you are a wicked person yourself that's how you are going to treat her when u marry her. You deserve what comes your way. But the relationship is not an healthy one stay off each other. |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by kwaso2(m): 10:27am On Apr 24, 2022 |
Op, I sincerely think, you should do your self a favour- leave the girl with her drama. Focus on ur school, focus on ur future. If u mistakenly commit urself. You will understand the meaning of hardship. Avoid unnecessary pressure 2 Likes |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Richy4(m): 12:27pm On Apr 24, 2022 |
Kreddy: Since you have started by letting her know that you are not available for that giant step of bringing a child into the world, due to financial and emotional reasons that comes with fatherhood, please stick to it... Let her know that she can't wait for you...But if another man comes along the way, she's free to to marry.. Ask her if she's cut out for a polygamous life style.. if she says no, then tell her that the person that will marry that man is her and not her mother.. therefore she has a 100% say on whom she will spend the rest of her life with... Definitely not someone that she has zero feeling for... Second question... There's a proverbs that I used to hear from my mother those days growing up... "It's not every rain that falls that one brings out bucket to harvest" ... Meaning u can't simply address every idle gossip... You are a man, there are certain things men see or hear, they just ignore... Hit the ignore button in this case buddy.... 2 Likes |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Lamanii22(f): 9:17pm On Apr 24, 2022 |
Whatever you decide, do not impregnate her…. It’s not easy to raise a baby… baby food is now expensive, hospital bill is outrageous…. Love is never enough… money is very important these days… 2 Likes |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by poshestmina(f): 12:12am On Apr 25, 2022 |
It's toxic. Please let her go . |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Nobody: 4:43am On Apr 25, 2022 |
Wahala |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by LilMissFavvy(f): 6:09am On Apr 25, 2022 |
Why should her mother pressure her to become second wife to a man she doesn't want. Why is she not speaking up against such arrangements by the mom? Do mother's still force their daughters into marriage in this 21sy century? If she can't speak up against the mom and stand her ground against a forced marriage to that man, then she's not yet mature. |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by frozen70(f): 9:35am On Apr 25, 2022 |
Kreddy: Just respect yourself and face uoir studies before you start a foundation you can never finish Since she has been telling her mum all the careless words coming out of your mouth and her mum has rejected the proposal you made to her if any What are you still doing with her ? Let her and her family deal with whatever suitor that is coming for her hand in marriage its not your business to save her by getting her pregnant Your business now is to leave her and run far away from anything that has to do with her and her entire family Lastly, you are not yet even matured to date a woman, with all these your careless talks that are sensitive to women ears, talk more of getting into marriage Just respect your self and grow more |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Threesha(f): 7:28pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Don't get he pregnant instead let her get a job and get herself occupied |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Foodqueen(f): 8:00pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Do not wife a woman raised by a toxic single mother. |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Kreddy: 8:44am On Apr 26, 2022 |
I was unable to tame my tongue when angry, which I've just realised as a mistake on my part. But why's everyone neglecting my brother's wife gossip which I think lent a credence to the whole issue. Since I heard of her own part, I've not opened my mouth to greet her. |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Acidosis(m): 9:05am On Apr 26, 2022 |
Kreddy: Ignore everything she said. That's probably how she feels about your mom. You can't change that. |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by Teleprompter(f): 11:55am On Apr 26, 2022 |
Nothing complicated here. Why do you want to spend your life with someone from such a family? Why are you even considering her at this stage of your life?? You do not love her. You are just distracted by her. Face your future and forget about her totally. Mind you, I'm speaking from an elder's point of view and I don't expect you to get it totally but I've spoken. |
Re: This Is Really Getting Complicated!! l really need your inputs on this matter. by BarrElChapo(m): 10:55am On Apr 30, 2022 |
Walk away bro. It's painful but the right thing. Kreddy: |
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