Justkatty:
First mistake you made, you knew about all these, and you still went ahead of getting pregnant for him��

May God help you retrieve back your kids.

Not his kids abi

Movingon5:



Amen........ was just 22years den. But as am growing older i really now no wat i want...

I am struggling to see what made a 22 year old stick with a man more than half her age, aside gratification.

I hope other little kids would learn from this and stay away from Sugar Daddies in the name of making quick money.

IrepChrist:



Aunty you have made some mistakes I hope you realise that. So ask God � for mercy.

Then please pray. That man did not just attain that heights. Nobody gets to such level of influence without some fortifications. Which I believe you might know.
Let your battle be the lord's battle. Humanly speaking, he is stronger than you.

God will fight for you.

Over 95% of the people that get to those levels have dipped their hands in things I can't even mention here.

rickpat:
I'm sure you don't understand my point....the law gives sole custody to either a man or a woman that it sees fit...if not the law grants them co-parenting.. these laws are there...you may feel it doesn't exist in Nigeria..till the day you are caught in that web....so it's only MARRIAGE that brings kids right?.. you're funny though...child custody is either co-parenting or sole custody...sole custody comes into play if one of the parent is not capable financially or mentally or not interested in taking care if the kids...so sole custody can be given to a man or a woman... sometimes a visiting plan is set up...so mr. "this is Nigeria"...know the law and stop this mentality of Nigeria is lawless...we may have problem of implementation but the laws are there ..have a great day

I was expecting you to have asked the young lady if the father of the kids had access to them while she had sole custody.

Secondly, if it was right for her to have had sole custody, why then is she crying foul?

Juicie2u:
You knew he did this to his other wives but yet you looked away and that traditional marriage is your power honor and respect but you looked away, also the most important, he has won the heart of your kids so my advice is because he is rich and powerful you should be very careful and take his compensation but always communicate with your kids because you don't have the resources to fight him..... Well my opinion

Please don’t listen to this cowardly advice.

Fight for your kids.

AFONAMARO:


I am struggling to see what made a 22 year old stick with a man more than half her age, aside gratification.

I hope other little kids would learn from this and stay away from Sugar Daddies in the name of making quick money.

None of that is relevant to this thread. She wants advice and help on how to retrieve her children that she carried for a total of 18 months.

Don’t be evil, please.

Movingon5:
Pls sirs and mas am not really in my right frame of mind.......

We cohabited for 7years and have suffered several domestic abuse so I decided to quit this January. So he left the house and took all the amenities the kids are enjoying since February...

So this, easter he called to tell the kids to come do easter with him in his village.. Getting to Kogi state, he sent me house and harrassed me with security officials. So he has apparently taken the kids from me and trying to take them to another state.

He has made attempts to buy the children from me by offering me 400k but I said noooo. He is a Deputy retired commissioner of police and ex director of EFCC and currently working in Dangote as their cso.

The kids here are minors age 3 and 5years.... where can I get justice and the authorities to report to. The kids are supposed to be in school today. He is 66years and am 30years.

Pls elders on family issues help me and how to get the custody of my kids back cos am ready to be taking care of them without his contribution. Am fighting for the kids becos of the motherly love I have for them not because of child support fee etc.

Am not married to him legally or traditionally...... we cohabited for 7years. And am his 4th wife and that is how he has been collecting the kids from his wives. He has a brother he puts in EFCC and they all threaten me to fight me cos they have the money to spend...

Apparently you are not the first wife and probably you are a side chick turned wife...KAMAL IS AT WORK.

Minjim:


They are minors.

In a divorce, there are three fundamental legal issues when it comes to children and their parents. Parents are responsible for custody, access and the children's upkeep. It is important to note that both parties cannot have custody, which means where one has custody the other has access.

Minors usually stay with the woman ( except in cases where the woman had demonstrated lack of parental care) and the man pays child supports and have access until the kids are old enough to decide who they wanna stay with

We have seen this weird law happen over and over again!!! At the end of the day, the kid(s) gets indoctrinated by their mum that father is a bad man. Most times they end up becoming nuisance in the society!!! Only 1 out of 10 goes back to their father! If the law wanted to be fair, the kids should stay with their mum till 10, then move to stay with their dad till 18! Finally they can get to judge which is better!!!

Highter1:
Apparently you are not the first wife and probably you are a side chick turned wife...KAMAL IS AT WORK.

Kamal ko, Kamorudeen ni

Is his name Henry?
Anyway, I see a couple of people here have advised you rightly of taking the legal route.
Furthermore, you may wish to contact
Human rights defenders and acess to justice advocacy center. Shasha, Lagos.
Hrdac.Org.Ng
08033024550.
If you are up north then berekete family is your sure bet.

AFONAMARO:


I am struggling to see what made a 22 year old stick with a man more than half her age, aside gratification.

I hope other little kids would learn from this and stay away from Sugar Daddies in the name of making quick money.

You sound frustrated

So this would not happen with a 27 year old person?

jaxxy:


Its wrong to take the kids that way. For her to accept to bring the kids she has no issues with him bt u can take her kids away from her against her will. They belong to her also.

You don't seem to understand women!!! Women will only need child support and may want you to even be with your kid when they are tender (especially those without financial strength). But the moment the kids begin to become someone, you see them come for war!

Movingon5:


Thank u sir.... exchange my kids for money, no matter d price.... the children are already saying they don't miss me whenever i call dem. Just 5days of staying with him niyen ooooo

Never accept money from him in exchange for your kids, no matter what. Even if they don't end up with you.

As for your children not missing you, it's still too early to conclude.
They're just carried away by the things he bribes them with.
By the time they've had their fill, they will definitely ask/cry for you.
You're their mother, and nobody/nothing can take your place in their hearts.

Melkizedeck:



We have seen this weird law happen over and over again!!! At the end of the day, the kid(s) gets indoctrinated by their mum that father is a bad man. Most times they end up becoming nuisance in the society!!! Only 1 out of 10 goes back to their father! If the law wanted to be fair, the kids should stay with their mum till 10, then move to stay with their dad till 18! Finally they can get to judge which is better!!!

Sharia law require children to stay with their mother till puberty and if female even thereafter whereas the males can CHOOSE.
This is if the mother does not remarry but the presumption is that they were married and are getting divorced.
In the case where they are not married the man has no clear rights in most countries/systems

Another stupid sob story.

Juicie2u:
You knew he did this to his other wives but yet you looked away and that traditional marriage is your power honor and respect but you looked away, also the most important, he has won the heart of your kids so my advice is because he is rich and powerful you should be very careful and take his compensation but always communicate with your kids because you don't have the resources to fight him..... Well my opinion

she was stupid

aribisala0:
You sound frustrated

So this would not happen with a 27 year old person?

You sound unreasonable.

So, you see nothing wrong with a 22 year old following a man with three (3) wives, which he allegedly drove away and took custody of their kids?

Keyboard warrior!

davidmoyes:


Anything legal would require money bro. And I can see only one winner here. The man is connected and will definitely manipulate his way to make it all favor him. If she goes to the court, she'll end up losing both ways. Na naija we Dey bro.

As in ex commissioner of police,ex EFCC director,CSO at dangote company now. Nigeria is not for poor people is for the crook richer one. The woman should better lay low and have a better way to negotiate to be having access to them or tell us what exactly he did to the man for him to take that huge and hurt decisions. Her children already don’t want to see her is ananother case.

Melkizedeck:



You don't seem to understand women!!! Women will only need child support and may want you to even be with your kid when they are tender (especially those without financial strength). But the moment the kids begin to become someone, you see them come for war!

There is nothing like "women" or "men" every individual is different . The idea that women reason one way is just as dumb as saying men reason another way. Or saying Ijaw behave one way and Hausa behave another. Some women cheat some don't, ditto for men and so on. Some men are responsible and some are not.
Some men enjoy beating their wives and others do not

Even two brothers raised in the same house can be very different

Juicie2u:
You knew he did this to his other wives but yet you looked away and that traditional marriage is your power honor and respect but you looked away, also the most important, he has won the heart of your kids so my advice is because he is rich and powerful you should be very careful and take his compensation but always communicate with your kids because you don't have the resources to fight him..... Well my opinion

ladies are their own problem,the age gap is too much ,if you check well ,,,,what will make a person in his or right state of mind ,a young girl ,you no see who senior you with 3 years ,5 years na person way use over 28 years senior she fall in love ,,,this is the same story like FFK ,,what love of money has push our females to ,it's really unthinkable

Has he not done any good things for you.

You have not mentioned them here

Mention good things the father of your children have also done for you ma'am, not just the bad things he did

aribisala0:

Sharia law require children to stay with their mother till puberty and if female even thereafter whereas the males can CHOOSE.
This is if the mother does not remarry but the presumption is that they were married and are getting divorced.
In the case where they are not married the man has no clear rights in most countries/systems

And what if he decides to marry her and she refuses? Wouldn't that be stealing the kids by tricks? What kind of weird law are these for God's sakes that does not favor both parties equally??

AFONAMARO:


You sound unreasonable.

So, you see nothing wrong with a 22 year old following a man with three (3) wives, which he allegedly drove away and took custody of their kids?

Keyboard warrior!

Even if I do which I don't your logic and reasoning is funny
1. Would it be better instead if she was 42? or 52? .So a 52 year old woman can follow a man with three (3) wives, which he allegedly drove away and took custody of their kids

2. Would it be better if he was 30? So a 22 year old woman can follow a man with three (3) wives, which he allegedly drove away and took custody of their kids if the man is 30 years old?

So logically is the issue with his
1 behaviour to his previous wives,
2his age or
3. the number of wives he has had

It is important to learn how to reason properly and not react emotionally.

The first stage when you are trying to adjudicate any matter is to reduce it to its core issues so as to guide yourself in rational analysis

larryking540:

ladies are their own problem,the age gap is too much ,if you check well ,,,,what will make a person in his or right state of mind ,a young girl ,you no see who senior you with 3 years ,5 years na person way use over 28 years senior she fall in love ,,,this is the same story like FFK ,,what love of money has push our females to ,it's really unthinkable

The man is almost twice her age and knows her like the palm of his hand, for me she should get the compensation and marry someone within her age bracket and start a new home because she can never find peace of mind with this man in particular... He will say he picked her from the gutter and anything she tries will bring shame on her because of the way she presented herself to him.... Cheap

Movingon5:
Pls sirs and mas am not really in my right frame of mind.......

We cohabited for 7years and have suffered several domestic abuse so I decided to quit this January. So he left the house and took all the amenities the kids are enjoying since February...

So this, easter he called to tell the kids to come do easter with him in his village.. Getting to Kogi state, he sent me house and harrassed me with security officials. So he has apparently taken the kids from me and trying to take them to another state.

He has made attempts to buy the children from me by offering me 400k but I said noooo. He is a Deputy retired commissioner of police and ex director of EFCC and currently working in Dangote as their cso.

The kids here are minors age 3 and 5years.... where can I get justice and the authorities to report to. The kids are supposed to be in school today. He is 66years and am 30years.

Pls elders on family issues help me and how to get the custody of my kids back cos am ready to be taking care of them without his contribution. Am fighting for the kids becos of the motherly love I have for them not because of child support fee etc.

Am not married to him legally or traditionally...... we cohabited for 7years. And am his 4th wife and that is how he has been collecting the kids from his wives. He has a brother he puts in EFCC and they all threaten me to fight me cos they have the money to spend...

Sister don't worry urself ,u don't have think of there's safety because both of u have it together,the man collected them because of they safety also and up bringing. In Nigeria before men and women have involved in this act of abduction but at last ,it didn't paid them well, because when a boy or girl 5yrs today will be 15 in the next 10 year's 2 come and will asking questions about himself or herself.
Just get urself involve in taking sleeping pills 2 reduce tensions and 4get life ,u are not alone in these ,they are many people it affected like this .READ ur Bible or Quran very well.pray 4 them .Go on and manage urself as u like it
Life is a MYSTERY

Melkizedeck:



And what if he decides to marry her and she refuses? Wouldn't that be stealing the kids by tricks? What kind of weird law are these for God's sakes that does not favor both parties equally??

That is a very long discussion ,not for this thread but my view is in any game know the rules before playing.
You cannot start a game and then decide you do not like the rules. The rules are not secret.
We played a game 1-1 with Ghana a few weeks ago .Ghana are going to the world Cup we are not. It is not weird and it is not a trick. We knew the rules before playing.
Moral of the story

Know the rules before playing

Ehhhh we don hear ur own side of the story, make we hear him own side, and u knew all that yet u enter... Money why!!!

RedCentaur:
I just had migraine while reading this.


Cohabiting for 7yrs? Birthing children without doing as little as paying your dowry?

The elders are coming.

What has paying of dowry got to do with anything?

Do you mean to say those who had their dowries paid don't experience such.

AFONAMARO:


I am struggling to see what made a 22 year old stick with a man more than half her age, aside gratification.

I hope other little kids would learn from this and stay away from Sugar Daddies in the name of making quick money.

They never learn, most of them are inherently selfish and greedy.

aribisala0:
Even if I do which I don't your logic and reasoning is funny
1. Would it be better instead if she was 42? or 52? .So a 52 year old woman can follow a man with three (3) wives, which he allegedly drove away and took custody of their kids

2. Would it be better if he was 30? So a 22 year old woman can follow a man with three (3) wives, which he allegedly drove away and took custody of their kids if the man is 30 years old?

So logically is the issue with his
1 behaviour to his previous wives,
2his age or
3. the number of wives he has had

It is important to learn how to reason properly and not react emotionally.

The first stage when you are trying to adjudicate any matter is to reduce it to its core issues so as to guide yourself in rational analysis

Your analysis is a further proof that you are empty.

May your female kids end up with such a man since you find nothing wrong with the queer statistics that you are trying hard to defend.

I won't dignify you with further response as you sound kooky.

This man would not honour a summon from a customary court.
Take him to a court all the same and in the mean time, investigate your kids whereabouts and re-possess them
This whole process would take a roll but that's all I can say.
I hope other women can learn from this woman's experience and choices to do better for themselves.
Women would see sociopaths and have dealings with them despite the obvious permutations.

ivolt:

Say what you know.
Stop speculating.

Wetin overdose of hollywood movies dey cause.