Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,171,702 members, 7,882,407 topics. Date: Sunday, 07 July 2024 at 01:17 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / Citizen Of The World (1549 Views)
Citizen Of The World by Khaleefa(m): 5:17pm On Aug 07, 2007 |
Hi all, just thought I'd share another poem with you all, if you like it and would love to see more pls follow the link at the end. Cheers! PS: Comments woul be appreciated. Citizen of the world Khaleefa ©2005 I’ve heard the winds howls Countless bells’ chimes Far in the Savannah, Lions growls Crossed many rivers Slept in the wild, endured many shivers Skiied and snow-boarded many a slope Surfed, rode the waves, oooh, how dope I’ve travelled the world From Jersey to Johannesburg Lagos to Luxemburg Heard its each and every word I’ve stood under the stars Marvelling the vastness of space Wondering the day we’d make it to Mars I’m a son of the Earth ‘Been that …right from birth I’ve eaten its fruits, drunk its wine Read its poetry, line after line Its tyrants, its statesmen, their story word for word Held its daughters in carnal embrace And celebrated the beauty of their body, their face Yes, I’m a citizen of the world http://poet-khaleefa..com/ |
Re: Citizen Of The World by RuuDie(m): 1:16pm On Aug 09, 2007 |
I like it. . . a really nice piece. i like the theme and really dig your cipher! but i think it has a lot of "loose ends"; some of the verses like the first are still hanging "open" and thats as a result of the fact that you used the the rhyme. some of the line placements take out some consistency, but all in all its a good piece. . . one worth listening to time and again! |
Re: Citizen Of The World by Khaleefa(m): 3:56pm On Aug 09, 2007 |
Thanks for the feedback RuuDie. Points noted too. Cheers! |
Re: Citizen Of The World by SMC(f): 9:37pm On Aug 09, 2007 |
Khaleefa: It is wrong grammatically to use the plural "howls" and "growls" the way you have done {within the lines/sentence}. I'd advice you to take out the "s" in both and leave them as "howl" and "growl" |
(1) (Reply)
My Poems...My world... / You / Absolute Love
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 10 |