BY CHIOMA IWUNZE-IBIAM

Between January and now, a total of 4, 000 divorce applications were reportedly filed before various courts in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT).

But is the figure a reality or over-bloated, TOPE SUNDAY seeks answer in this report.

Before now, divorce was hardly discussed in public in Nigeria. It was seen and tagged as a taboo and unfit for public discourse. However, the reverse is now becoming the trend as marriage, which the holy Quran and holy Bible described as the perfection of one’s religious life is now being dreaded by some marriageable age Nigerians.

In what appears as total disobedience to the commandment of God and His avowed love for marriage institution, divorce cases keep rising on a daily basis across the country.

The damming FCT figures

Even though divorce is not new, the 4, 000 applications filed before various courts in the FCT between January and February, this year, has opened a can of worms.

On Friday, February 21, 2020, and an Abuja-based lawyer identified as Annebrafa raised the alarm that there are 4, 000 divorce applications in Abuja already. The lawyer, who tweeted via her twitter handles @Sandraorokodo, lamented that it is really much considering that the year is barely two months old.

“4, 000 divorce applications in Abuja already and the year just started. Some of these marriages are less than a year old. What is really happening?”

Though her claim had been countered by some Nigerians who expressed doubts about it, her outburst, according to pundits, should not be discarded. According to them, her claim is a pointer to the fact that the marriage institution in Nigeria is experiencing crisis.

Cases in other states

In a report published in 2018, a total of 3, 000 divorce cases were recorded in Badagry, a Lagos community. Also, in a report titled, “Deciphering the high rate of divorce in Nigeria,” which was written by Umar Yakubu in 2019, Kano state alone had over one million registered divorcees.

Yakubu, who is of the Counter-Fraud Centre, said in the report that, “Just like fake news, divorce rates seem to be on the rise, trending mostly in the northern towns of Kano, Zaria, Katsina and Bauchi. A quick survey from open sources, interviews and, primarily, discussions and observations from close circles of relations, indicate a disturbing surge of divorced and unhappy women who are blindly and surely grouping under several torn and unreliable umbrellas.”

Myth or reality?

Though as at the time of filing in this report, there was not any available data to determine the actual number of divorce cases in Nigeria, a check by Blueprint Weekend revealed that figure branded by the Abuja-based lawyer could be true.

A visit to the Social Development Secretariat, Federal Capital Development Authority (FCDA) by this reporter revealed that a total of 20 to 30 cases of divorce are reported at one of the offices daily.

When this reporter visited the office located at Area 10, Garki, Abuja, on Wednesday and Thursday, this week, no director at the Gender and Social Developments was available for comments, but a senior staff of the secretariat who did not want his name in print because he was not authorised to comment on the issue, said the figure could be true.

According to him, at least 30 cases of divorce are reported at the secretariat on a daily basis. He, however, clarified that the secretariat only counsels the warring couples on the need to allow their marriages to work.

The source directed Blueprint Weekend to the FCT Sexual and Gender Based Violence Response Team, an office within the secretariat that handles divorce cases and other gender abuses, but efforts made to speak with both the administrative and programme officers proved abortive as the duo said they were not permitted to speak with the press without official letter from the secretary of the secretariat directing them to do so.

However, a source within the secretariat told this medium that FCT is experiencing divorce tsunami, saying that a total of 30 cases of troubled marriages are reported at the secretariat on a daily basis.

The source listed communication gap, poverty and lies as some of the factors responsible for rising cases of divorce.

“Let me correct this impression, we are not the court who grants divorce, what we do is to counsel the couple on how to maintain their marriages and live in peace, but if they are not ready for amicable settlement, we will tell them to proceed with the divorce.

“But while I am not confirming the figure you just quoted, the rate at which people are seeking divorce these days is alarming. In our secretariat, very close to 30 cases of divorce are reported daily, and as government officials, we provide them counselling on the need for them to make peace with each other.

When asked what could be responsible for the rising cases of divorce, the source said: “From what we gathered, lies, poverty and communication gap are major factors responsible for this act. Some couples built their love on lies. Also, communication among couples is very key, but this is lacking some of the marriages. From our findings, communication gap is another problem threatening some marriages. Also, poverty is another monster that is destroying marriages.

There is another important caveat in Nigerian divorce courts – the spouses ought to have lived together for a minimum of two years. If they have lived together for less than two years, nobody will file a divorce case on their behalf; not even if their marriage was a total disaster.

This requirement also states that both spouses must prove their incompatibility and show a strong desire to terminate the current marriage. Nigeria also prescribes a cooling-off period before the divorce is finalized, and this period can range from six weeks to a year. In Nigeria, we see that divorce cases are not as common as they are in Western societies. Anthropologists have linked this to society’s perception of divorcees. To put it mildly, Divorcees tend to be stigmatized, not just peddling an inappropriate divorce status but for bringing shame to their families.

In Nigeria, the family is viewed as the central institution and cornerstone of a generation and is considered indestructible. However, there are several cases where families get broken up for other reasons. For instance, the death of one of the spouses.

Like in many other parts of the world, there are also cases of domestic violence. However, most of these cases are typically hidden, and the parties barely speak about it. The husband is viewed as the leader of the family. Wives who challenge their husband’s wrongdoing(s) stand the risk of being ignored or worse, beaten.

Traditional Nigerian men are allowed to have several wives, so losing one is often not a tragedy for them. A woman’s rights are rather limited in other areas of social life as well. In the Islamic parts of Northern Nigeria, they are usually forbidden from communicating with strangers, speaking fully to their husbands, and so on. Many women in Nigeria are utterly dependent on their husbands financially. For the most part, Nigerian men are the sole source of income in the family, while women care for the kids, prepare meals and so on. Often if the husband wants to have another wife, the woman will have no say in the matter because she has to feed her children and she cannot argue with her husband. The only thing that can free her from an unhappy marriage is a divorce case.

According to Nigerian emigrants, family life is truly hard for all the members of the family. The approximate average marriage age for most people is 17-20 years, and there are even cases of marriage at under 15. At these ages, the couples are likely not prepared to successfully build a family, manage wealth and organize their lives. According to famous American scientist and sociologist Andrew Jacob, young marriages are dangerous to our health. He claims that individuals are able to think independently around the age of 25. At this point in adulthood, the person is able to think outside the box, and he/she can make rational decisions about life.

Furthermore, the human body at the aforementioned age is rarely mature enough to give birth. There are lots of cases of young Nigerian girls who gave birth at 14-15 years old and died due to complications. This explains the high rate of maternal mortality in the country.

In Nigeria, it is also taboo to speak about the death of a spouse. Traditions and customs suggest that if the husband dies, the wife should be lonely for the rest of her life. As for widowers, this rule certainly does not apply in quite the same way.

Nowadays, Nigerian couples are separating more and more. Separation rates in 2018 saw a 14% increase across the whole population. When you look closely at the modes of separation, you will agree that the process and conditions leave much to be desired. The Nigerian government needs to think over its approach in more detail because the termination of marriages in the country is often unnecessarily devastating for the whole family. These days, Nigeria is developing in all spheres, so let us hope that one day all the citizens of this beautiful country will have the right and means to stay in healthier and happier marriages.