To You,

Grace to You,

Yes you, struggling with chronic masturbation for years, a problem that has eaten into every area of like like an insidious cancerous cell. Your self-confidence has been eroded and easily washed away by the rising tides of life, your memory dwindling like that of an 85-year-old with dementia, your finances feel like dust in the wind, you cant hold on to it, or do anything tangible with it, your eyes can't see the opposite sex without undressing them in your mind eyes, your fingers itching to grope their bodies if you have the opportunity to, imagining what their private parts are, and conjuring up crazy sexual fantasies that will never happen, your mind is filled with thousands of images of naked men and women from porn videos you've watched. It's so bad, anytime you feel down, bored, having a bad day, or see the opposite sex walking by, or just alone in the house, your body begins to urge you saying "Let's FIND A CLOSET, A ROOM, A TOILET, THE BACKROOM, AT THE BACK OF THE BUS .....GO INSIDE WHERE NO ONE CAN SEE YOU, DO IT QUICK!, HURRY UP, PLEASURE YOURSELF, RELEASE!!!!''


Yes, You.
Feel powerless to disobey or already have your conscience so numbed, you are thrilled by it, you actually enjoy that '' HIGH''. But we both know after that ''release'', after that 'high'', what comes next, you feel worse, you feel like DIRT, and you hate yourself. You keep your secret locked away. Living life normal but you know your life is anything but normal, your life is sick, and it's not yours anymore but controlled by something else.
Your friends and family ask and complain, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?". Your answers are diverse, but The truth never leaves your lips. How can you tell them what started as a simple act of touching yourself has turned into a Hidden Monster that holds sway over your life. You tell yourself that you will stop, you use your willpower and achieve a few days or weeks or months and abstain, but the relapse comes, and you fail every single time. You are hopeless against it, YOU ARE A SLAVE TO THOSE DESIRES AND THOUGHTS!. it's BIGGER THAN YOU. The most painful part about it is that feeling where you feel your life passing you by, you feel like a SPECTATOR IN YOUR LIFE, A passenger in your own life journey, and the ending/ direction isn't what or where you want to be!

You've succeeded in confiding in a few people, some tell you it requires sheer willpower( i can hear them saying it's a thing of the mind, you can overcome it by your strength and keeping yourself busy and preoccupied), but they don't know your will is captive to something more powerful than yourself. They assume everyone's willpower is akin to Mike Tyson in a boxing ring when in reality your willpower is actually still an amateur boxer. You've begun to turn to prayers, you are looking into the mirror and hate or can't recognize the person staring back at you, you fight the command to touch yourself, but fail so miserable, to the point you begin to even cry and feel ashamed while doing it, sighs!!!

Whenever you try to pray and fast, and really ask God for help or have people praying for you. Then something like this begins to happen during this stage, you begin to experience or have an increase in wet dreams, dreams of you sleeping with people with unknown faces, waking up with cold sweats, even when you try to resist them in the dream you are powerless and concede; each time you try to pray or abstain the number of times you masturbate in a day begins to increase; it gets worse, you begin to find yourself looking at the private parts of same-sex, or even begin to feel inadequate at the size of your own private parts. (smh unfortunately this is how homosexualism is birthed)

At this point, even your rational mind screams this is SPIRITUAL!!! and you feel so inadequate to deal with it as the sinner that you are, you desperately want to overcome this, You want to do good, want to change but struggle. Your situation can best be surmised with these words

''For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled and bewildered by them]. I do not practice what I want to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate [and yielding to my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity]. Now if I habitually do what I do not want to do, [that means] I agree with the Law of God, confessing that it is good (morally excellent). So now [if that is the case, then] it is no longer I who do it [the disobedient thing which I HATE], but the sin [nature] which lives in me. 18For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh [my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity]. For the willingness [to do good] is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19For the good that I want to do, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20But if I am doing the very thing I do not want to do, I am no longer the one doing it [that is, it is not me that acts], but the sin [nature] which lives in me.
21So I find it to be the law [of my inner self], that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. 22For I joyfully delight in the law of God in my inner self [with my new nature], 23but I see a different law and rule of action in the members of my body [in its appetites and desires], waging war against the law of my mind and subduing me and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is within my members
O!! WHAT A WRETCHED AND MISERABLE HUMAN THAT I AM! WHO WILL RESCUE ME AND SET ME FROM THIS BODY OF LUSTS, MASTURBATION, SIN, AND DEATH!

I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU, THERE'S DELIVERANCE, THANKS TO GOD ALMIGHTY THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD!! HE HAS ANOTHER LETTER ADDRESSED TO YOU. A MESSAGE OF HOPE, SALVATION, AND THE POWER TO KILL THAT BODY OF YOURS THAT'S WAGING WAR AGAINST YOUR SOUL.

From,
SOLAFIDE NG
ngsolafide@gmail.com

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