I act on two main motive; sentiment and logic..

With my sentimental mind, at this moment of my life if had the money to build house and that what would make my mama happy. Sir, Amma do it in her name.

I almost lost her until I realized I should Cherish what I got while she's still around.

But at your age? I would advice you to follow your heart so your kid won't come to nairaland to ask a question like this at least.

Barrister026:
Hello all,

This is difficult situation for me, my mom's house has been left uncompleted since 2014 just the foundation and probably 2couch were placed ontop since then it's been there because she had to send my siblings and I to higher institution. Now am of age, doing quite well for myself. I think am finally ready to build a house, was thinking about getting a land 100 by 50 and raise 5 bedroom flats... but on the other hand that my mom's building had been left uncompleted since it's a family land, relatives are starting to say somethings and sometimes I could see the shame on my mom's face when she goes to her family compound. Almost every months they always call her to come clear it that it has become harbor for snakes and pests. So I thought why don't I just complete it for her first.


The issue here Is immediately I told my fiancee she said it's a good idea but kicked against it. That I should build mine first, before completing my mom's. That it can wait.

I also confided in a friend of mine, he said almost same thing, that my thing is different from our own. Saying am not the only one my mom gave birth to, if I complete it now I should be ready to share it with my siblings no matter what when the time comes.

I'm confused and need advice on the step to take. I would really want to complete that house for my mom I Know it would mean a lot to her..I'm really confused.

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way that's just my fear.

Just know that, your mother sacrifice for you and suspend that project to raise you through school, that fiancee and friend are not there when the mother suffer to raise you so ignore their advice. Your mother has limited time more to live, let her be joyful at least if you can do that to make her happy. You have a long way before you to go, so do the needful if you have the power, buy your own land, be active in the two projects, do these simultaneously, your parent prayers will surely help you build your own.

Think about these

Barrister026:

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way.
As for my mom she's aged already.

If you can afford to build a small expandable 1-2 bedroom flat on the property for a start, and still build yours, that will solve the problem. Especially if your mum doesn't have to reside there.The truth is that the land is family land to which you have no lasting claim. That’s the angle many people are seeing from. However, satisfying your mum may be uppermost in your mind considering that she focused on developing you instead of building the house. Weigh the options based on available resources.

Build yours first. Our own is different from my own. That was the greatest mistake of my life. It kept me in a circle for 12 years. Don't even try it

Barrister026:

I can't believe you actually booked space for this just to gather cheap likes

Don't you think it's better for me to confide in an olosho I sleep with, than to come online to ask random people who some are demented lunatics like you who find every loopholes to ridicule people online.
Kriss the whole nairaland knows you and your silly post, your Just a small boy who still feeds on mama thank you.

The funny thing is your mates are out there doing better things for themselves, winning daily.

Sometimes the unexpected people give the best advices.

One sure thing here is that he has more experience about women than you.

Forget all your capping, don't even tell your wife that you want to build a house for your mother talk more of a fiancee abi na girlfriend sef... Rubbish.

For the main part, concerning your emotions about building a house for your mom, you should do what's on your mind first, mama blessings fit make you buy full lekki sef but you have to be calculative oh so that you don't get yourself hooked building her a house.

If I were you, I will build mine first then start hers gradually, insult no dae put hole for body, if they insult her she should insult them back and wait till you complete the house then she should give then back to back.

Tell that your so called girlfriend that you aren't building her a house and then go ahead to do it secretly, I just hope you haven't been foolish enough to show her the uncompleted building else you will be doomed if you marry her. Don't even marry her again sef, you don fuvk up die but you fit no understand now.

Barrister026:

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way.
As for my mom she's aged already.

Reading this comment of urs shows u already know what to do but need reaffirmation from nairalander. Go ahead and build ur mum house first, the blessings that ll come from it is imaginable. Trust me.

For me, I’d say you should get your land and start building your house and instead of the 5bd you can get yourself 3bd while the remaining amount can be used to develop your mom’s piece of land . The two can be run at the same time so as to give your mom this feeling that you really have her at heart. #justsaying

Kriss216:

I'm glad you know me and how I'm trying my best in trying to emancipate silly boys like you from the shackles of that evil gender.

Please my brother, never take family advice from a girlfriend. It's foolishness.

Happy weekend.

Absolutely! these pple don't just seem to undastand....

Build urs first. Let ur mum move in wit u. Then build hers

Barrister026:

I understand, but they are still in school one about to round up though.

Nice submission sir

Guy, don't forget you have your own nuclear family to cater to and or plan for. That takes priority over extended family obligations.

Like that chap said, your mom can live in a room in your house while you do what you can for her own... if that is honestly something that is important to you.

Your mum's time on earth is almost up. makes no sense to focus on building a house for her at the expense of your nuclear family own. focus on your young family. You perform a service to her lineage by doing so.

GUY GOD HAS BLESS YOU GO AND BUILD A HOUSE FOR UR MOTHER FIRST LET HER BLESS YOU WHAT IF SHE DIDNT SEND YOU TO SCHOOL AND SAY LET HER COMPLETE HER HOUSE WILL YOU BE THIS GOOD? AND FOR THE FACT THAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING AND LAUGHING AT HER SHOULD TELL YOU WHAT TO DO UR MOTHER FIRST PUT A ROOF OVER HER HEAD PLEASE WHAT IF SHE DIES TODAY YOU WILL THEN GO AND BUILD THE HOUSE ABI DONT LET ANY WOMAN TELL YOU WHAT TO DO FOR UR MOTHER I BEG YOU AGAIN OR YOU LIKE HER TO BE HOMELESS?

Barrister026:
Hello all,

This is difficult situation for me, my mom's house has been left uncompleted since 2014 just the foundation and probably 2couch were placed ontop since then it's been there because she had to send my siblings and I to higher institution. Now am of age, doing quite well for myself. I think am finally ready to build a house, was thinking about getting a land 100 by 50 and raise 5 bedroom flats... but on the other hand that my mom's building had been left uncompleted since it's a family land, relatives are starting to say somethings and sometimes I could see the shame on my mom's face when she goes to her family compound. Almost every months they always call her to come clear it that it has become harbor for snakes and pests. So I thought why don't I just complete it for her first.


The issue here Is immediately I told my fiancee she said it's a good idea but kicked against it. That I should build mine first, before completing my mom's. That it can wait.

I also confided in a friend of mine, he said almost same thing, that my thing is different from our own. Saying am not the only one my mom gave birth to, if I complete it now I should be ready to share it with my siblings no matter what when the time comes.

I'm confused and need advice on the step to take. I would really want to complete that house for my mom I Know it would mean a lot to her..I'm really confused.

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way that's just my fear.

Barrister026:

I can't believe you actually booked space for this just to gather cheap likes

Don't you think it's better for me to confide in an olosho I sleep with, than to come online to ask random people who some are demented lunatics like you who find every loopholes to ridicule people online.
Kriss the whole nairaland knows you and your silly post, your Just a small boy who still feeds on mama thank you.

The funny thing is your mates are out there doing better things for themselves, winning daily.

You shouldn't have request for an advice from the forum in the first place since truth is kind of bitter pills for you to swallow. Honestly the guy who spoke about you inquiring from a lady whom you might after knowing your Mom telling you what to do. So you are saying you can't decode she's only trying to protect what will favour her against your mother's happiness. Or probably maybe she actually sponsored you to school and equally assist you to get employ, maybe....

Kriss216:


You asked your girlfriend advice for something relating your mum

A girl you met recently will tell you what to do regarding your mum?


A girl you're sharing with different guys told you to discard your mum's happiness? What sort of men are we breeding these days?

You are such a genius.
You have given him a perfect respond and certainly you are to expect backlash from him as he won't be able to hold the truth.

Build your mother’s own first to the point where it is habitable even if not to your personal taste.
Your mother is growing old and it would make her so happy and you and your siblings would be proud of you.
You can not be stranded or shelter if you build it for her because even though it is a family house, it is for your own mother and not a father that might have other children or another wife.
Your siblings would know that it was you who put down the lions share and so I do t expect them to lord over it while you are present.
You are young and the trends change in building projects. By the time you are 50, you may find your own house substandard to your taste at that time. You have a lot of time to build yours to taste. You may not have the opportunity to do something major for your mom if you wait much longer but by Gods grace, she would live long. 2014 is a long time ago to have stopped tangible work.
But in all this, acquire your own land even if you don’t develop it immediately.

Kriss216:

I know why you're vexed...you believed your girlfriend is the best and you're not sharing her with anyone that's why you flamed up when I mentioned her.

Calm down egbon, she's just a girlfriend not your wife yet. Don't give her too much opportunity to dictate what happens in your family. Treat a girlfriend like a girlfriend before you ruin your life.

You are such a honest Man. You have given him lots of advice and is left for him to embrace it or decline it. But from my own perspective I think you deserve an accolade from him and not this

Barrister026:
Hello all,

This is difficult situation for me, my mom's house has been left uncompleted since 2014 just the foundation and probably 2couch were placed ontop since then it's been there because she had to send my siblings and I to higher institution. Now am of age, doing quite well for myself. I think am finally ready to build a house, was thinking about getting a land 100 by 50 and raise 5 bedroom flats... but on the other hand that my mom's building had been left uncompleted since it's a family land, relatives are starting to say somethings and sometimes I could see the shame on my mom's face when she goes to her family compound. Almost every months they always call her to come clear it that it has become harbor for snakes and pests. So I thought why don't I just complete it for her first.


The issue here Is immediately I told my fiancee she said it's a good idea but kicked against it. That I should build mine first, before completing my mom's. That it can wait.

I also confided in a friend of mine, he said almost same thing, that my thing is different from our own. Saying am not the only one my mom gave birth to, if I complete it now I should be ready to share it with my siblings no matter what when the time comes.

I'm confused and need advice on the step to take. I would really want to complete that house for my mom I Know it would mean a lot to her..I'm really confused.

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way that's just my fear.

This voice sounds like something coming from the South South.
Where are you reporting from so I will know what to advice based on geolocation mindset.

My friend if you have land available build your own house first because nobody knows tomorrow, you may not have money to build yours tomorrow and your sibling will start fighting with you that they property belongs to their mother, after you complete your own first and see money you can complete your mother own, don't make a mistake that can even send you to early grave, be warned.

Kriss216:


You asked your girlfriend advice for something relating your mum

A girl you met recently will tell you what to do regarding your mum?


A girl you're sharing with different guys told you to discard your mum's happiness? What sort of men are we breeding these days?

imagine ooo,u were trying to knock some sense into his head,instead he insulted u.well,after telling his "olosho",he still came online to disgrace himself...indeed,wh
at kind men are been bred these days!

Oga build your own house first! At least your mum is not lacking shelter at the moment (You are just been pressurized like footballers playing UCL final).
I don't think you will like to go and live there (ur mum's house) after completing it.

You can always think of completing it later.

Bros why do you need strangers to validate what you already want to do for your mom.
You know you want to do this for mama, and you can afford it, so wetin remain?

I lost my mom last year, and I wish I had the resources to buy her the world.
I pray you make more money to build your dream house. But don't let anyone tell you how to spoil your mom. Especially, if she's a good woman.

Kriss216:


You asked your girlfriend advice for something relating your mum

A girl you met recently will tell you what to do regarding your mum?


A girl you're sharing with different guys told you to discard your mum's happiness? What sort of men are we breeding these days?

That's y female child is better than male child in remembering family.

Barrister026:

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way.
As for my mom she's aged already.

BRO! Build your mum's house first but let there be an agreement showing you singlehandedly built the house in case of the future

I think your friend and your fiancee have said it..know that it will not belong to you at the end is like a charity org yours is yours a word is enough for the wise...when is time to slog it out nobody care you develop it.
If you really cares build a portion for your mom there say two are three bedroom for her.

My advice for you is to support your mom with funds to complete the building

YOU REFUSED TO SAY MUCH ESPECIALLY ON UR SIBLINGS!HOW MANY ARE U ALL?WHAT IS UR POSITION?HOW MANY ARE MALES AND FEMALES?ALL THESE INFO MATTER A LOT!ITS IMPORTANT TO KNOW THAT EVEN IF U SINGLE HANDEDLY PUT UP THE BUILDING,SINCE ITS A FAMILY LAND GIVEN TO UR MUM,IT REMAINS HER PROPERTY AND THE WHOLE CHILDREN!U SHULD BE READY TO SHARE IT WITH THEM!I SUGGEST U BEGIN WORK ON THE TWO BUT U MUST AV A WRITTEN AGREEMENT WITH UR SIBLINGS ON HOW TO RECOUP UR MONEY!!

My husband and I were once in this position. We wanted to start looking for land and build our home, but we felt uncomfortable with the fact that his aged mom would have to keep stressing about paying rent.

We sacrificed and completed her two bedroom home and built a store in front. At least we are young and have strength to hustle further to build our own; but an aged woman is tired- the best gift for any aged parent is to spend their remaining years on earth resting with little stress.

I think deep down inside you know the right thing is to build for your mom- your heart is tagging you in that direction. If not, you would have just gone ahead and built yours.

I know it’s tough, but trust me, you will never regret it; you will have peace of mind that will allow you visit her with loads of joy.

And you will have more than enough to build yours.

God blessed my husband and I with our dream home- favor upon favor just kept overflowing and we are now enjoying it with peace of mind.

I wish you all the best!!

Barrister026:
Hello all,

This is difficult situation for me, my mom's house has been left uncompleted since 2014 just the foundation and probably 2couch were placed ontop since then it's been there because she had to send my siblings and I to higher institution. Now am of age, doing quite well for myself. I think am finally ready to build a house, was thinking about getting a land 100 by 50 and raise 5 bedroom flats... but on the other hand that my mom's building had been left uncompleted since it's a family land, relatives are starting to say somethings and sometimes I could see the shame on my mom's face when she goes to her family compound. Almost every months they always call her to come clear it that it has become harbor for snakes and pests. So I thought why don't I just complete it for her first.


The issue here Is immediately I told my fiancee she said it's a good idea but kicked against it. That I should build mine first, before completing my mom's. That it can wait.

I also confided in a friend of mine, he said almost same thing, that my thing is different from our own. Saying am not the only one my mom gave birth to, if I complete it now I should be ready to share it with my siblings no matter what when the time comes.

I'm confused and need advice on the step to take. I would really want to complete that house for my mom I Know it would mean a lot to her..I'm really confused.

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way that's just my fear.

Bro...same dilemma

Solution: build yours first and also build like a separate small flat for your Mom within your own building
That way she has her own dedicated space

Once you are done with that and money still dey...you can do family own because trust me the house will be for the family and not even your Mom's

My dad made thesame mistake...and he was killed for a house he built with his own money

A word they say...

If you re the eldest finish your mom building before yours.

Barrister026:
Hello all,

This is difficult situation for me, my mom's house has been left uncompleted since 2014 just the foundation and probably 2couch were placed ontop since then it's been there because she had to send my siblings and I to higher institution. Now am of age, doing quite well for myself. I think am finally ready to build a house, was thinking about getting a land 100 by 50 and raise 5 bedroom flats... but on the other hand that my mom's building had been left uncompleted since it's a family land, relatives are starting to say somethings and sometimes I could see the shame on my mom's face when she goes to her family compound. Almost every months they always call her to come clear it that it has become harbor for snakes and pests. So I thought why don't I just complete it for her first.


The issue here Is immediately I told my fiancee she said it's a good idea but kicked against it. That I should build mine first, before completing my mom's. That it can wait.

I also confided in a friend of mine, he said almost same thing, that my thing is different from our own. Saying am not the only one my mom gave birth to, if I complete it now I should be ready to share it with my siblings no matter what when the time comes.

I'm confused and need advice on the step to take. I would really want to complete that house for my mom I Know it would mean a lot to her..I'm really confused.

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way that's just my fear.

My brother, let me answer your question with a Parable.

From what you have said here, I will want to assume that your Father wasn't around to foot the Bill of your academic pursuit? It was Mama all the way! Now that you have become somebody in life, thanks to your Mother, a useless good for nothing Girl, who probably had no hand in you becoming what God has made you, is now knowledgeable enough to give you advice on whether you should build your House first or pay back the poor old woman who mortgaged her own personal enjoyment because she wants to see you succeed.

If I were a member of your Family and you shared this with me, I would give you the thrashing of your life.

Better go and Build your Mama a House and stop listening to a girl whom you haven't ev n married yet! Plus, let me even burst your bubbles, with the advice of your fiance, I can gladly announce to you that you are about to marry the wrong person, because a Girl who claims to love you will not dare to deny your mother of the fruits of her struggling.

But, that is just me and I don't know who you are, so the choice is all yours.

Barrister026:
Hello all,

This is difficult situation for me, my mom's house has been left uncompleted since 2014 just the foundation and probably 2couch were placed ontop since then it's been there because she had to send my siblings and I to higher institution. Now am of age, doing quite well for myself. I think am finally ready to build a house, was thinking about getting a land 100 by 50 and raise 5 bedroom flats... but on the other hand that my mom's building had been left uncompleted since it's a family land, relatives are starting to say somethings and sometimes I could see the shame on my mom's face when she goes to her family compound. Almost every months they always call her to come clear it that it has become harbor for snakes and pests. So I thought why don't I just complete it for her first.


The issue here Is immediately I told my fiancee she said it's a good idea but kicked against it. That I should build mine first, before completing my mom's. That it can wait.

I also confided in a friend of mine, he said almost same thing, that my thing is different from our own. Saying am not the only one my mom gave birth to, if I complete it now I should be ready to share it with my siblings no matter what when the time comes.

I'm confused and need advice on the step to take. I would really want to complete that house for my mom I Know it would mean a lot to her..I'm really confused.

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way that's just my fear.

I don't like the fact that your fiance is kicking against something that concerns your mom. Caution her sternly to not bring a gap.

Now, speak with your mom and ask her what she thinks. She's the only one that can offer the best advice for you.

If you ask me, I'll say you and your siblings should do it together.

Anyway, make I dey trade my crypto on Yellow card abeg

I would advise you to help your mum to complete her house so that you can shelter the other of your siblings only then will you take your time to build yours.

Thereby making your mum Happy, house your siblings and the villagers will stop talking.

Being selfish is not good

I'm in your shoes before but have decided to help her if I get better job


I'm even a female but a male like u, first born

Her time is short but yours is long, just think deep and watch that girlfriend for a while

If you later marry her, your siblings can hate her which can spread to your kids in future, unless they didn't know what you posted here


This world sha, men ain't care of siblings than their partner

The Lord will raise your siblings to do it if you refused

God seeth our heart to judge us