I started perceiving my environment when i was 10,i can't explain the happenings before then but at 10 my dad never motivate me,anytime he tries to he criticizes me instead.

"Don't you know you are a man? Is this the time you suppose to wake?" that is the anthem he uses to rise me up daily.This act made me move slowly,some people on the street think am dull in nature but deep down my mind is full of ammazing thought that are dead due to the fact that to show it is a problem.

Whenever am chanced to go out to my friends or in school,my friends do gist but to say my oppinion is always heavy and if i eventually talk,i'll say another thing that isn't relate to the present topic,though,there is a genuine point in me.

Surprisingly,am still showed love by my colleagues maybe for my charming look,listening culture and brilliance,though,my father says i am a dullard!

The one message i have for parents and my future parenting is to never nag 'cause it hinder abilities...

This is how some people are raised

Ashimiuamuda:
This is how some people are raised

And it kills something in a child.

You have to reprogram your mind by telling yourself good stuff consistently. Its called Neuro Linguistic Programming.


Words are immensely powerful. The power over life and death is in the tounge. Those that are wise will eat the fruit thereof.

Parents should stop this habit of nagging or comparing their children to others.

One of the really important reasons not to compare your child to others is that it hits their self-esteem hard.

How would you like to be constantly compared to others?

Low self-esteem issues usually have their root in childhood, so don't make your child feel that they're inferior to others. You don't want them getting conceited, but nor do you want them feeling worthless.

@op. Don't worry you're gonna heal.

Mindlog:

And it kills something in a child.

Exactly

OP....
Forget the past...
You're no more a child....
What your father did to you when you were much younger is not your fault, however, if you allow this to ruin your life & productivity, THEN IT'S YOUR FAULT!

Don't feel so sorry for yourself so much so that you become mediocre ... Work hard and grow past this...

If you're old enough to recognize the effects of your dad's nagging on you, then you're old enough to do something about it....

Yes! Your father messed up as regards being a good parent, but what's done is done, don't use this as an excuse to not be the best of you...

Take responsibility for your life and stop blaming your parents for your shortcomings!!

I'm not trying to downplay the effects of what your dad did to you, however, you can either see that as an excuse to be mediocre or use it as a motivation to be better....

Good luck chief....

Why don't you see it as a challenge & prove him wrong.

I'll be honest with you, even from your post, you sound emotional already, your dad is preparing you for the real world. You're a man not a woman, so be prepared to make yourself useful and change your dad's perception with actions and not with mouth.

Maybe you have an introverted personality, hence, your inability to express yourself within and outside your family circle.

Extraversion is one of the big five personality traits: Conscientiousness. Agreeableness. Neuroticism. Openness. Extraversion.

Kids high on extraversion trait are always social and friendly. Those low in extraversion are the opposites. However, for introverts, they are less narcissistic and neurotic unlike the extroverts.
Since you fall on the later side, you must endeavor to exhibit the positive side of extraversion - learn to meet new people, talk and make friends. It will not be easy for an introvert because they are able to spot that most humans are average and dumb, and it is not wise wasting time with them; extroverts simply don't care! They are the opposites.

Make your decisions and let it known. Don't fret. Be calm. Talk when necessary. Just have fun. Improve on yourself and act more masculine. And by the time you are done with all these, you'll not only make your dad proud, but you'll be transfigured into a better self.

Education in all ramifications is very sacrosanct, if parents knew about child psychology, effects of genetics and environment on every individuals, many of them would have done better in raising their children. Alas, here we are, we must help ourselves.

Thanks.

I was always a stubborn kid anyway, I didn't care for anyone's opinion, my own at that time, was just money and getting an apartment so I could stay on my own and do my thing. In my own case, the only thing I could do was study and apply to opportunities. I think you should follow that route, you will find more fulfilment and self-confidence there Pick up a skill

CaveAdullam:
Maybe you have an introverted personality, hence, your inability to express yourself within and outside your family circle.

Extraversion is one of the big five personality traits: Conscientiousness. Agreeableness. Neuroticism. Openness. Extraversion.

Kids high on extraversion trait are always social and friendly. Those low in extraversion are the opposites. However, for introverts, they are less narcissistic and neurotic unlike the extroverts.
Since you fall on the later side, you must endeavor to exhibit the positive side of extraversion - learn to meet new people, talk and make friends. It will not be easy for an introvert because they are able to spot that most humans are average and dumb, and it is not wise wasting time with them; extroverts simply don't care! They are the opposites.

Make your decisions and let it known. Don't fret. Be calm. Talk when necessary. Just have fun. Improve on yourself and act more masculine. And by the time you are done with all these, you'll not only make your dad proud, but you'll be transfigured into a better self.

Education in all ramifications is very sacrosanct, if parents knew about child psychology, effects of genetics and environment on every individuals, many of them would have done better in raising their children. Alas, here we are, we must help ourselves.

Thanks.

This is succinct. Like this poster rightly said, you are very normal OP, just do it!

Ashimiuamuda:
I started perceiving my environment when i was 10,i can't explain the happenings before then but at 10 my dad never motivate me,anytime he tries to he criticizes me instead.

"Don't you know you are a man? Is this the time you suppose to wake?" that is the anthem he uses to rise me up daily.This act made me move slowly,some people on the street think am dull in nature but deep down my mind is full of ammazing thought that are dead due to the fact that to show it is a problem.

Whenever am chanced to go out to my friends or in school,my friends do gist but to say my oppinion is always heavy and if i eventually talk,i'll say another thing that isn't relate to the present topic,though,there is a genuine point in me.

Surprisingly,am still showed love by my colleagues maybe for my charming look,listening culture and brilliance,though,my father says i am a dullard!

The one message i have for parents and my future parenting is to never nag 'cause it hinder abilities...

Your birth month, if you don't mind.

Choilila:

Your birth month, if you don't mind.

July. Why asking ?

Ashimiuamuda:

July. Why asking ?

July what?
nothing I wanted to clarify something.

Choilila:
July what?
nothing I wanted to clarify something.

July 15,hope no problem ?

Ashimiuamuda:

July 15,hope no problem ?

oooh nothing.

Choilila:

oooh nothing.

Have you now clarify what you wanted to clarify ?

Ashimiuamuda:


Have you now clarify what you wanted to clarify ?

I guess he wanted to confirm your zodiac sign. Your zodiac sign is Cancer ♋
I was expecting you to be Leo though.
All the same, you need to start coming out of your shell. The earlier the better.
Just believe that you can!

callmemikel:

I guess he wanted to confirm your zodiac sign. Your zodiac sign is Cancer ♋
I was expecting you to be Leo though.
All the same, you need to start coming out of your shell. The earlier the better.
Just believe that you can!

Ooh.. Can you please explain what leo and cancer means ?

That’s very bad
I hope you should be able to overturn that experience into strength but please do not transfer that trait to your kids

Ashimiuamuda:


Have you now clarify what you wanted to clarify ?

I know how it feels to be Water
just move on and forget about that.