Brownshoe:
it's a joke na,

drphantom:



Depends on the kind of wife you married.

karkinase:
No finance can make you go sober..

LordIsaac:

I must say that your view is a fact but is tending towards the exception. Most marriages today are but a house of cards.

DKM123:


Yet, you men are the ones who hate feminist and bash them and wish they die.

Isn't this what feminist preach?

That a woman should focus on being financially independent and have thier own money.

Gender roles like men being in charge of the finance and women being in charge of the kitchen and homefront is not ideal in this modern day where the men are crying like little babies everywhere cos they can't handle the financial responsibility of a traditional family man.

Women should use that energy they use in praying that God should take them to thier husband's house to focus on making money...

haggai247:


Bible say two good heads not just two ooo.

Ask yourself how many women with good head dey naija?

If you're sincere with yourself you can count them with the tips of your fingers.

Better save than sorry.

Fairview1:
They are many. Just that you are attracting your kinds. Become better so you can attract better girls.

Ay04z:

And again. Marry ur type.. And also neva marry a jobless lazy Nigerian girl who doesn't want to try to huzle at all.. It will end in premium tears... Cheers...marriage sweet. For few people and i pray my. Own continue to be like dat...

Nazgul:
I'm afraid that your observations are on point cos I have the same observations as well.

The most recent was my cousin brother who got married in 2020 before the lockdown, as I'm writing this we barely talk these days, even to reply WhatsApp messages na war. And when he does it's one complain or the other, ranging from how things are hard and since I'm single and an only child, I should assist him financially, to how his wife has changed, to how their one year old child consumes food like an adult... etc.

To understand him much better, I decided to put myself in his shoes. I'm a single guy, I renewed my rent last month (April) and I sat down to calculate all my monthly expenses. Data, fuel, gotv/Netflix, electricity, security, LAWMA, feeding, gas, miscellaneous...etc.

My point is if a woman comes on board that budget would tripple cos kids would be expected, she might want you to open a business for her, courtesy of your pocket, she might come with her younger sister to help out whose training and welfare would be on you, she would sometimes want you to assist her family eg, parents, siblings writing exams, school fees, rent...etc.

Now while your expenses has tripled, your income most times remains the same or even lower, you would resort to borrowing just to sustain your home, of which she won't even appreciate cos according to her, it's not enough, other men out there like you are performing much better for their families. You would live all your life working to finance the home, even your own kids would be strangers to you and love her more when she buys them Christmas clothes from the money you gave to her. They would grow up loving her as a sweet mom and vow never to see her suffer. forgetting all the sacrifices and dreams you gave up just to give them a better life. After pondering through all these, I understood my cousin's situation much better.

If I'm to be honest there's nothing special about marriage, it's more or less like bondage for men. And benefits only the women. Marriages if you have noticed have have reduced greatly, there are so many guys in their 30s and even 40s who aren't even talking about settling down. Would you blame them....of course not.

Women these days aren't helping matters. They dump the larger chunk of the financial responsibility on the man in the name of men are the head so it's his responsibility to cater for the home. But what they don't understand is God created women as a helpmeet, meaning they're there to lessen the budern of the man and not to add to it.

Open any topic here on Nairaland and talk about responsibilities in the home. More than 99% of the female replies would be that it's the job of the man and the man alone.

Women need to change such mindset, cos it has killed and drained the honey of millions of marriages.

HoneySwag:

I think some men marry wrongly. They see the good lady that loves them, ready to support them even financially, and in some cases they even love these ladies but they end up settling down with a slay mama (a flashy lady), because she's beautiful, good on bed or dresses to kill. Then the marriage becomes toxic... What exactly are you expecting when you marry such person?

Ballzproblemm:
when we keep telling people there's no benefits in marriage they'll start to call us small boys, do not be deceived by anyone telling marriage is blissful ,is not.

P.S:- only people advocating for marriage are single women and trapped men

Godoverevery:

And if i decide to grow old single or die single how is that any of your life business

Be sorry for yourself because that chances of me getting married is more higher than you complaining slowpoke.

Godoverevery:
I want married men to help me understand this.
I noticed most of my friends who got married from 2017 till date become shadows of there real self after marriage.

I mean they become boring,less friendly, not social and not fun to be with few month after marriage.
Is there something that change a man life after marriage or is just a normal thing.
Like is marriage meant to kill the fun part of a man??

Am asking this because a very close friend of mine who got married last year August is also becoming a shadow of himself......he always moody this days, social life zero and I think something his heating him up from inside.....this was a fun guy and he was very happy about getting married to is wife but the man I see this days is not making me happy.

He was once told me had he known earlier he won't have got married but I felt it was just words of the lip because we were just having guys talks that day.

So married guys please help me clarify if my observation is right or just a normal thing.

frozen70:


There is nothing we can say here that will make sense to your question

Just get married and get the experience that will answer your question

Godoverevery:

Please speak only for yourself..

I only ask for married men opinion..so I don't no why you quoting me......look before you leap nice time...thanks

Fairview1:


They are many. Just that you are attracting your kinds. Become better so you can attract better girls.

haggai247:


You want to feel good by telling yourself lies great for you.

Suffering and smiling that's what most people prefer, face the reality staring right at you...

I'm like honey i attract and screen them like a banshee does to his slave...na mumu man dey become better because of woman....

If you decide to become better because of a woman you go slave for years trying to meet up demand ...even your son will never appreciate your sacrifice... REALITY

You can never satisfy the so called gods TALKLESS OF a woman.

find what works for you and go for it.

dopedan:
I was just thinking about this cuz things have become hard, i always wonder how my neighbor survives with 4 kids n one house help and wife, staying in a 3 bedroom flat, he used to be fair wen i first knew him now he is dark, u can see suffering in his eyes, d other day he said I should borrow him 1k i just dashed him 1500

Kobojunkie:
You expect this to be commonsense but it still obviously isn't.

Fairview1:


There are good girls with good characters out there. With this sort of rigid mindset, I doubt if you will ever get them.

The challenge with this generation of woke youths who doesn't believe in marriage is that many of them, have messed their lives up, thinking everyone else is the same.

Nazgul:
I'm afraid that your observations are on point cos I have the same observations as well.

The most recent was my cousin brother who got married in 2020 before the lockdown, as I'm writing this we barely talk these days, even to reply WhatsApp messages na war. And when he does it's one complain or the other, ranging from how things are hard and since I'm single and an only child, I should assist him financially, to how his wife has changed, to how their one year old child consumes food like an adult... etc.

To understand him much better, I decided to put myself in his shoes. I'm a single guy, I renewed my rent last month (April) and I sat down to calculate all my monthly expenses. Data, fuel, gotv/Netflix, electricity, security, LAWMA, feeding, gas, miscellaneous...etc.

My point is if a woman comes on board that budget would tripple cos kids would be expected, she might want you to open a business for her, courtesy of your pocket, she might come with her younger sister to help out whose training and welfare would be on you, she would sometimes want you to assist her family eg, parents, siblings writing exams, school fees, rent...etc.

Now while your expenses has tripled, your income most times remains the same or even lower, you would resort to borrowing just to sustain your home, of which she won't even appreciate cos according to her, it's not enough, other men out there like you are performing much better for their families. You would live all your life working to finance the home, even your own kids would be strangers to you and love her more when she buys them Christmas clothes from the money you gave to her. They would grow up loving her as a sweet mom and vow never to see her suffer. forgetting all the sacrifices and dreams you gave up just to give them a better life. After pondering through all these, I understood my cousin's situation much better.

If I'm to be honest there's nothing special about marriage, it's more or less like bondage for men. And benefits only the women. Marriages if you have noticed have have reduced greatly, there are so many guys in their 30s and even 40s who aren't even talking about settling down. Would you blame them....of course not.

Women these days aren't helping matters. They dump the larger chunk of the financial responsibility on the man in the name of men are the head so it's his responsibility to cater for the home. But what they don't understand is God created women as a helpmeet, meaning they're there to lessen the budern of the man and not to add to it.

Open any topic here on Nairaland and talk about responsibilities in the home. More than 99% of the female replies would be that it's the job of the man and the man alone.

Women need to change such mindset, cos it has killed and drained the honey of millions of marriages.