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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand (34210 Views)
My Mum Bullying My Dad Is Getting Out Of Hand!!! / My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand / My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by blingxx(m): 9:47am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Zaheertyler: Street wey don hard only few niqqaz get to make it out being successful |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Bignuell(m): 9:49am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Omoo, this one weak me. Raising male children singlehandedly can be really extra. But even if the junior won misbehave, senior suppose get sense. Taking them back to their father's village is not really a bad idea. I believe there is a work around this situation. Maybe you should start giving them little responsibilities. To be honest, at that age, it is difficult to reason with them but not possible. I believe you have uncles and they also have uncles who can talk to them. I pray God rescue your boys 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Mrkumareze(m): 9:49am On Jun 09, 2022 |
You didn't start early, reason I don't pamper kids no matter their age. As it stands now, you can't do anything .. All your faith re God, just like Nigerians put theirs .. 2 Likes |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by AllBlack: 9:50am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Crvrider: See how your example is in total contrast with the narrative. But feel free to see it your way. See how you get carried away by emotions and the woman's side of the story. Now who is the judge? Have you heard the boy's side of the story? Have you sat down to think that those boys might actually be the true victims of horrible parenting in this matter? Or you are just being SYMPATHETIC. Instead of giving advice from your phone, Why don't you show sincere empathy and ask the woman for her address so you can go there and sit the boys down for a chat yourself. Do that if you really have interest in helping but you will not. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by blingxx(m): 9:50am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Rexymania: Don't blame her , it's never a woman's responsibility to train a male child , a cousin is a perfect example lost his dad (my uncle) at a tender age , his mom ran to marry another man and left my cousin and his sister's to cater for themselves 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Realdeals(m): 9:50am On Jun 09, 2022 |
I believe you over pamper them and deny them the necessary discipline and correction while they were growing, simply because their father was late, that I think is the genesis of the current crisis. Unfortunately, it could be late now, what I'll advice is that you keep your lane and up your firmness, let them know you attach less relevancy and value them less if they can't listen to you, and if possible, remarry to bore new children. Anobody: |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Nobody: 9:51am On Jun 09, 2022 |
If they won't respect you as the owner of their bed and shelter etc They should start doing their big boys in their own rented apartment! Very simple! If they won't food on the table, they should start bringing something home if not, no food! 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Treborblue(m): 9:53am On Jun 09, 2022 |
ikennaoma:Underrated best advice here They need new environment with stricter guardians |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by babaireti(m): 9:54am On Jun 09, 2022 |
You have bred monsters ,then clean your mess . |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by aylive02(m): 9:55am On Jun 09, 2022 |
AllBlack:God bless you with this submission. You can't bend a fish that dried 10 years ago |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by blingxx(m): 9:56am On Jun 09, 2022 |
babaireti: How ? .. it's not even her fault she's just an average woman , her husband is late just imagine the depression she must have went through .. such thing won't encourage you to discipline your child |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by FLYFIRE(m): 9:56am On Jun 09, 2022 |
It is very disheartening to suddenly see one's once adorable child turn into a 'monster'. Hmm, every parent here understand you madam. As much as this is a phase for them, God want to use them to teach us obedience. How obedient are we to God & His words. You see that ANGER THAT BOILS in the heart when we see how much we sacrifice for them & yet they "pay us" like that? SAME WAY WE MAKE GOD FEEL EVERYTIME WE DISOBEY HIM. How does He respond to us? WITH LOVE!!! The lesson is that in spite of what we see, we must continue to love & pray for them. Your boy will come around sooner that you think. Avoid making statements in anger that will put curses on him. Next time you remember or see how disobedient he is, run to God to ask for mercy for yourself first before asking for him. God bless you both. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by ibechris(m): 9:59am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Mindlog: My Bible recommended a rod...so I don't even see any wrong in using a belt after all,my neighbours used 2.5mm wire while we were kids on his children yet,they turned out well in life. What works for u can't and will never for me. Parenting is a serious business for responsible parents. Na talk like this dey make some children feel say them dey Europe or America. Oga,we are Africans okey? "Do not with- hold discipline from your son; if you beat him with a rod, he will not die" (Prov 23:13). |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Nobody: 9:59am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Normally in sane countries,this is where police becomes your friend. Buh this our Nigerian Police are not your friend,and involving them would cost you some money and Las Las they won't do anything to help. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by hikiki(m): 9:59am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Qs someone suggested ma,get another house,live Dem unannounced. If u keep enduring,one of them will bring in a pregnant woman soon to the house. You will feed all of them with your hard earned money. Above all ma,pls pray!! Never involve the police pls....Dem go just scater you. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Plugsk(m): 10:00am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Find hustle give them make them hustle. Focus on them making money. Their head go correct when them dey hustle Anobody: |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by LadyTara(f): 10:01am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Originalsly:Did it occur to you that she might have been struggling to put food on the table for these boys to have time to raise them? Even for a house with both parents,it's hard than for one person who probably goes out to look for money and come back at night. Seeing their mother struggle and shut out every other aspects of her life to provide for them should be enough to make them coordinate themselves and not cause her pain. People have grown up in the streets and used it as a motivation to live better lives. She could have easily given them out to relatives and go about her life. In the end good upbringing or not , people choose what they let themselves get influenced by. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by chccho(m): 10:01am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: Dear OP, no doubt u made some mistakes by ignoring some red flags long ago and u didn't instil discipline when u shoukd have but there is still hope. First u have to ask for God's divine intervention in all of this cos only God can do all things. Next u have to apply the Carrot and Stick approach. As for me i grew up learning with the stick. If u do anyhow u go see better STICK n ass whooping. Now first u need to take those boys to the nearest police station and report/have a proper conversation with the DPO or a senior police officer there. Report them and all their deeds to the DPO he will know how best to speak to them. If they wont change make it clear that u wont hesitate to lock them up in the station. A 17yr/19 old is not too old to be corrected. Also u can look for an elder from your family or their fathers family as a father figure who will also speak to their senses. If possible send them on holiday for a while. U need to set clear lines and stand by it without bending or else u will lose the last hope of bending these boys. When I was younger i can never forget my fathers philosophy, "u either break or bend" n boy oh boy he really bent me. If they wont yield to all this madam no fight them again, arrange better beating for them. I have seen where a father arranged soldier to come and discipline his son for misbehaving. The boy begged and promised to change. Remember if u also spare the rod u will spoil the child. I can guarantee u them go bend. If they wont come back by 7/8pm lock the door let them sleep outside till the following day. How old is a 17/19yr old that u cant discipline them sef. Dont allow your kids destroy before your eyes o!!! Make Gid help u |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by odebmart(m): 10:02am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Please don't listen to all those advising you to call the police on your son's, they will never do it to theirs, if you know a grown up they respect a lot, you can ask for help, but I advise you talk to them, chat with them, get them to open up to you, build trust, these are your children and not some random strangers, make them communicate with you heart to heart. Don't expect overnight magic but be patient, you change your attitude towards them and they will change also, maybe in anger you have told them severally that if not for them you would have remarried, find a way of retracting this statement and letting them know that it was out of anger you said so, even though you have the right to remarry but making them feel like a hindrance in your life will hurt them, I grew up with a single mom from a broken marriage, from your writeup, I already decoded all you did wrong, am sure you are a great mum because my mum is also but sometimes growing up I hated her a lot even though I loved her very much and my hatred played out through rebellious actions even though she showed me so much love as an only son with four sisters. Trying to control a growing man as a single mother is challenging but if well managed will bring great results, today I turned out great, like I said in my earlier post that I am a single father with four boys, I applied the wisdom my mom used in tackling me to them and it's working fine, today I and my mom are best of friends and I believe yours will turn out well also 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Octopusssy(f): 10:04am On Jun 09, 2022 |
chukwuibuipob:Please tell me this is a joke. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by tommy589(m): 10:04am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: You need to brace up and follow this advice I am going to give you, because you are no longer in control.The only thing you can do now is to shock him. You will need to visit a police station narrating your predicament and list your demands. All you want is for them to scare him with arrest for few hours and should help you to talk sense to him after threatening him. They have children too and understand your pain as a mother Let it be in the morning when neighbours will witness it. If the girl sleep over in your home don't arrest her, better to do it when she won't witness it. It was a tough one for my mother too when raising us as a single parent |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Nsonaso(m): 10:05am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: Arrange for area boys in the village to teach them manner's 2 Likes |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by lomprico(m): 10:06am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: It's obvious you spoilt them while bringing them up. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by ZaddyJ: 10:07am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: This story o oluwo ninu oo have you been acting right bf them ? Like have they seen you with men |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by chccho(m): 10:08am On Jun 09, 2022 |
AllBlack:Ogbeni u dont have anything meaningful to offer abeg park well. We all know she made a mistake in training them besides these are boys, they might not yield to her easily without a father figure. The mother has come here for help and all u can do is condemn condemn and more salt to her injury. If u cant help her with meaningful advice, mind your business and dont add to her pain. Nobodys life is all perfect including u. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by toloohthegreat: 10:08am On Jun 09, 2022 |
You sef must have been getting out of hands all the way for you to come online first for such inglorious issue. They learnt from the best just a better version and a masculine touch. Enjoy your social investment. Sure you're pretty young to mother a 19/17 combo. The title of your post should rather be 'Half baked mum gets half baked kids'. *Spits* |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Reference(m): 10:09am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Rexymania: Indeed. The success rate is very, very low. It takes an exceptional woman to do that and by exceptional I mean either an exceptional disciplinarian or an intellectual. Now at 17 and 19 years of age one will need to top all that with serious spiritual leanings to reverse a lot of deeply rooted psychological damage. And if these qualities are not inherent they must be found elsewhere, with someone else. Goodluck. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by duduade: 10:09am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Arrange for both to be kidnapped and thoroughly beaten... Even get someone t disguise as babalawo wanting to use them for ritual. Then arrange a fake ransome pay after them spending days in a thick forest I think that incident always changes people and bring them closer to God 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Crvrider: 10:10am On Jun 09, 2022 |
AllBlack: See who's talking about bad parenting. If she was a bad parent she won't come to a public forum to ask for help, she did just leave the house and not return and leave the boys to their vices and fate but instead she chose differently. Try training two boys all by yourself and come give us the feedback...feeding, rent, medicals, schooling, clothing and plus the fact that you're out in the morning only to return at night. Look, let me tell you something you don't know. Those boys owe that woman everything with their lives so if you want to hear their own side of the story why not get her address and go pay them a visit. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by FullBlastLight: 10:10am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Ur head is very correct, wit ur submission here! If d foundation be destroyed, what can any mortal do! Channah1: |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Greenbirth: 10:10am On Jun 09, 2022 |
That is the benefits of single parenting. Too bad it always turn badly for the children. Madam! Look for a very high ranking military man like at least one star and make friend or explain it to him. You will be surprised and shocked that when any of that your bad kids sees that military twice he will either pack out or maintain. If possible let the officer approach them one on one for talks. I said high ranking officer because the junior ranks always misbehave. That is my one coin. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by bluefilm: 10:11am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Cutehector: I'm telling you. Fathers wield a type of powerful control that keeps children in line. God bless all fathers out there |
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