BROKEN PT1

My unlived love life, unpredictable result like when you spin a dice,
But mostly kick strife, something to get me crying through my smiles,
My girls don't move around with a knife, but I feel they do the way they cut ties,
I fertilized the eggs of my love life, but they always get aborted and dies,
Let me tell you all why I said so, there's a girl that used to love me but now sees me as a foe,
Truly I loved her more, I placed her above myself so much that my friends ask what for?,
I said no love without trust, then I was so broken so I saw her as my redemption,
Swear it wasn't lust, I saw myself being the man I once envisioned,
When people cooked beefs I took her defense, something about her moves me and I don't know the essence,
I overlooked when she flirts, cause all I needed was her nothing else,
I got laughed at that we haven't sexed, but ignored cause that's what once made my life a mess,
Stressing thinking I impregnated my ex, so I had to mute the world cause best advice is the one given to oneself,
Her friends calls me a beans boyfriend, I laughed at it though I kind of felt offended,
I prayed we bond in the end, joking like if you was a bar I'm the one that tends,
I wasn't enough for her I can't pretend, so we divided like last supper's bread,
One day I hit the media searching for a thread, just to see a post that she's dating my friend,
I tripped, broken, hit her room and started questioning,
She answered smiling, it's not a secret everyone knows, I felt my tears flowing,
I said I wish you the best and gave her my blessings, went to my room for my sweat shirt while music blaring,
I banged my door leaving, listening to Nas undying love broken along singing.

I thought you loved me,
I thought you cared for me,
I thought you needed me,
Don't you believe in me?.