I'll use myself as an example
No need saying my Friend

I had a girlfriend for 3yrs, in the space of that 3 years we were almost like twins, we understood each other.. she was about graduating from university
3yrs down the line, I was about to get serious with her, introduced her to my parents when all of a sudden I started realising that she didn't want to settle down yet, she still felt young and wanted to explore her world and work more
Although I wasn't planning on marriage anytime soon but I wanted to make it a serious relationship with marriage in view in the immediate future.

To cut the long story short, she ended the relationship with the excuse "the pressure is too much, she's not ready to settle down anytime soon"
And to make matters worse, she was abusive for the last couple of weeks before leaving While she became more and more interested in other guys

Now the main thing is after 2 years of failed relationships with other guys, she is coming back begging and saying she now wants to settle down.

I said No, as I have moved on. Although missed her (the memories of those 3yrs)
But she kept on crying and crying over the phone that she's sorry, and sending msgs that she is a new person now.

I strongly don't believe her, I just feel she regret her decision then and is looking for a quick fix to go back to a familiar source

It's stupidity.

Ditch her. Always learn to allow people regret their actions.

I also had a girl then. When I found out she was still full of exploring her youthful exuberant age with guys, I ended it. It's that easy.

After six moths, she came back and was begging and crying. It's over and I don't go back to my words.


“Or should I leave my current babe for you?”

“I am so sorry. I can't believe I hurt you this much. You moved on too quickly. You never loved me.” (blame game).


“I wish you success in your life endeavors.”

Now she dey form feminist wey no go marry.

Note, it was easy for me to welcome her back but I cannot delete the memory of her tendency to cheat—which she did—when she sees someone else who is richer...not like I wasn't providing for her basics.

I can forgive and forget anything but not betrayal. The memory refuses to die. So that alone makes it very easy for me to move on the following day after the incidence.

I bi spec...I no bi alternative.



Lalasticlala mynd44 dominque OAM4J come and comment

Well,

My girlfriend came back to me and trust me I'm working extremely hard to be better for her.


Sometimes we de f*ck up. But na to see if the person dey willing to make amends and be a better person for you.

There's no single rule for all relationships.

If you don move on, then tell am and hold your ground.

But if you still get feelings then try see if you can work things out.

But most importantly, make sure she's not settling for you.

Make sure she's not coming back because she was not up to the level of the other guys and so they dumped her and now she's feeling like she might just make do with you.

My own girl dump me because I too dey cheat. So, I know where my own fault come from.

Give her a second chance but put her on a probation

Experience they say is the best teacher, now that she knows for a fact that the grass isn't greener elsewhere and only you can give her the desired stability I think she would work hard in the relationship

Before taking her back, set your boundaries, let her know that this is the only chance you can give her and no more mistakes

Let her know you already moved on and you don't love her like before but if she's willing to win your heart back she's free to try




.

Forgive..

This story reminded me of Deborah some years back, she was a virgin. I loved her so much, she was so shy that she couldn't even loot at me in the face, she was about 19 then, the first time I kissed her she hid herself for weeks, and avoided me at all costs.

We eventually started dating and she told me she doesn't want sex, I agreed, along the line she gained admission into the university, stopped picking up my calls, we both moved on.

Years passed on and in her final year she called me and told me she wanted to see me. I came and asked her if she's still a virgin, she just laughed and told me the reason she called me is that she's in her final year that she geninuly wants us to date and even get married.

I told her to tell me about her sexual lifestyle, she told me she has slept with 21 guys. 4 were guys she dated, and the rests were just casual sex cos she really clubbed in school and had many male friends. She told me that had 2 abortions in the process and treated gonorrhea twice.

I was dumbfounded, how did an innocent virgin girl who couldn't even look at me and hid herself for weeks when I kissed her suddenly slept with 21 guys within the space of 3 years?

I really respected her honesty in opening up to me and since I didn't want her to regret it, cos it's not easy for a girl to open up like that. I told her that let's be friends then see where it would lead us, but deep down, I'd already written her off.

Same thing also happen to me my first date faith and I, we dated for four+ years I was her first ,she was my first also I was her senior in secondary but she gain admission before me to Feb poly bids while I went to Kaduna, one thing lead to the other we lost interest tho I truly love her, since then we lost communication for over five years now, just last week we met on Instagram we followed each other and have been chatting since, now we are back for real