Networking after hours is a thing!

This has to be said because the conception a lot of us have about networking is more formal, happening during regular hours, and maybe a little too buttoned up and sober.

I have to admit most of the times when I talk or write about networking, what I have in mind is corporate events, networking sessions, or natural opportunities that come up during the business day where you get to meet and talk to a total stranger.

Hopefully from these serendipitous circumstances, we get to form some alliances and get associates for the long term.

But what about situations that occur after working hours, usually after dark, and where most of us already “kinda” know each other?

Does this count as networking?

Back in my undergraduate days at Obafemi Awolowo University, there was one of my profs in particular who was convinced that you can’t succeed as a lawyer if you didn’t drink, hangout, and if you didn’t like the UEFA league.

His rationale? If that’s all your high profile clients engage in, then you have to get involved.

Nowadays we have more avenues for cultural and self expression and a lot popular subcultures, so it doesn’t have to be UEFA anymore.

But the question is can we consider that networking as well?

It depends!

Networking isn’t THE EVENT or the context you are in.

Networking is a process, a framework, and a FRAME OF MIND that you have while in a particular context.

If you look at it this way, then hanging out in beer parlors can be networking. Going to church can be networking. And going to the spa with your girls can be networking as well.

Why am I talking about this today?

Because recently I was called to an introduction for mutual business associates which happened in an open air bar and it involved beer, grilled chicken, fish, plantain, peppered spices, and some boys smoking shisha in the corner.

Luckily as a sales professional, I know how quickly we can loose focus in the “rapport biulding” stage so I did my best to guide things along all through the three hours of “networking”.

So if networking is NOT an event, but a framework and a frame of mind, then how do we steer a beer powered bro fest into a productive networking session?

For one you have to accept that “it is what it is”.

Some folks dont’ think that they know you until they have “broken bread” with you.

So go out and “break bread” with a bunch of people.

Step two is you have to take the initiative just like in any other sales, professional or business context.

You have to steer the conversation the right way at the right time.

While having fun with the group, your aim should be to figure out 1. Who are the people here? 2. What are the things they’re interested in and what are their priorities? 3. How do all these interests align? And 4. Who here is worth building a relationship with in the future.

How do you achieve all these? By asking questions! Sales and business conversations have to always be “question driven”.

If you’re asking questions, the other party will do most of the talking and you’ll get to learn a great deal about them and figure out what possible coalitions can come from this.

Apart from that since you’ll be listening a lot, most people will find you to be an agreeable conversationalist.

If you don’t ask questions but rather you’re thinking of the smartest thing to say, or how to wow people with how cool you are, then you might come off as impressive! But you won’t have all the information you need on how to assess the people there, the relationships, and the possible business relationships that might come from it.

If you want to figure out who these people are, just ask!

“So what do you do?”
“How did you and XYZ become friends?”
“How did you guys meet?”
“Why are you the only Arsenal fan here?”

Any of these kinds of questions could be the entry point for further personal conversations. This should give enough room for “rapport biulding” and for you guys to discover elements of commonality between you.

The process is the same to figure out things they are interested in and their priorities...

“Do you work at ABC like the rest of the guys?”
“What are your opinions about XYZ?”
“What’s the end goal for this business?”
“How did you get into business?”
“What was important to you for getting into this career?”

When you ask these kinds of questions, it easier to see how the interests of everyone around the bar align.

You can quickly figure out who the cool kids are, the interesting kids, and the people who would be worth building a relationship with after all the alcohol clears your system.

We might all think Peter Obi is great, we love Manchester United and Nikki Minaj, but it doesn’t mean we have to go into business together and have professional collaborations.

That’s the point of asking questions when you engage in conversations. It gives you all the information you need!

Sometimes the conversations will steer WAY off course like once I was out with a crew and we started bemoaning the loss of traditional family values and parental responsibility.

After a while the conversation started getting down and out over the future of Nigeria and prospects for the youth and nation building.

All I did to shift the conversation was to declare “it shall be well” as we like to say in Nigeria. After that I asked the open question “so what are we celebrating today?” (because obviously we had loads of food and drink) and that was enough to get someone talking on the business opportunity they thought I could lend some insights to.

I am not saying these things to endorse loose talk, alcohol, misogyny, and staying out late.

I’m just saying that whether this ends up as networking or not will depend on YOU and how you choose to steer the conversations that follow.

The principle is the same whether you’re at a spa for ladies night out, or whether you’re a young lady escorting a friend to go and see another friend.

Networking isn’t about the time and the place.

It’s about your head space at the moment.