Polygamy is allowed in Nigeria.

Karleb:
You dey find child and you still dey abort.

The only reason your wife is still with you is because she is the problem. Trust me, if she wasn't the problem she would have left your sorry ass long time ago.

Polygamy is allowed in Nigeria, marry the new girl.

Na village people dey use am do experiment.

Please come clean and tell your wife the truth is better she hears it from you than from any other person

OPweysabi:
Let me start by stating that genuine advice and constructive criticism are what I desire and that exactly led me into this form of expression in this public domain.
I clocked 41 years old earlier this year and I got married 11 years ago. The marriage with my wife has not been able to yield any fruit of the womb but that is not even the problem here. At least I observed a lot of people have had great testimonies from the IVF procedure recently as many of the recent threads on here made us believe.
At the beginning, it was not much of a big deal as we thought it was perhaps not a right time for us to conceive but we kept pushing. The disturbing issue, however at that time was that my wife had a very low sex drive from the beginning and that was the way I met her. We later started going for several tests and the results revealed that it wasn't my fault at all but of course, there were some medical issues she had to sort, so we did all that. By 2014, I noticed she started drawing back in bed and that raised a lot of concerns. So I spoke with one of her brothers who is about my age mate, but I noticed no changes like her brother did not raise the issue with her at all. By 2017, I went to Abeokuta to see her mum and told her about her daughter's new fashion of running away from intimacy between me and her. She promised to talk to her. Then I got tired of going for various medical tests as I wondered why we had to spend money and time on tests which won't be backed up by the proper thing eventually. Since then, I think we only made love once and that should be in 2018 or so. Since 2018, there's not been a single hug not to talk of kiss as we lost it completely!

So I met a much younger girl and we started dating. Initially, it was just for the fun of it and to relieve myself of the domestic stress. Later, we got so much into each other and she got pregnant for me! We both agreed to abort it as we knew the danger inherent in keeping it. But then, my wife continued to force me with the periodic medical tests (without the slightest form of intimacy) while the other lady continued to abort pregnancies she had for me. Only last year, the girl aborted 3 pregnancies for me and I felt so bad using her as lab rat. Now I'm 41, when most of my mates don't have infants as children but I'm still contending with a wife who has decided never again to go to bed with me. Confusingly, the other girl is pregnant for me and I'm strongly determined not to abort it this time. In fact, it's already 5 months old!
Now my problems are

*I'm legally married and I have no single problem with my wife asides the issues raised above.

*I think it's criminal because I had a court wedding and I might be prosecuted if she gets to know about this, more so that we are not divorced.

*The pregnant lady's mum has met me before and she doesn't want me because she knows I'm married, so we didn't tell her parents but all her siblings are fully aware and in full support, maybe because they know I've perfected plans to move her abroad to have the baby and let the baby have overseas citizenship. Currently, I've gotten her a well furnished flat since 2 years ago also got her a job paying her 200k monthly.

*My wife's family respect me so much and I think they'll all be disappointed if they get to know.

*I did not tell anybody at all. Not a single family member or friend of mine knows about it because I don't want to be discouraged or lose focus, then nobody can tell me how to create my own happiness.

*I have never had a single issue with the new lady before as she is even about 13 years younger than I am and she respects me a lot. I believe she can't drag issues with me in the future and even if she does, my child remains my child.

*I have never been a fan of polygamy as I understand its intricacies. I know my wife will most likely walk away if she gets to know about this and it will be her strangest imagination!

*I know I can't eat my cake and have it. So what am I to do?

Mods please help shift this to FP as it's an issue really bothering me and I want the participation of many people with diverse opinions.

Dude, number one, it was profoundly foolish of you to abort babies like that. If that lady had died in the course of doing an abortion what would you do. Your case would've been worse. And it was also foolish to have extra marital affairs knowing the consequence.

Two, sex within marriage should be guaranteed. You reported to her family and got no positive response from your wife, you should have proceeded to the elders in her family or the clergymen that joined you too. She deciding to withhold sex for no reason from her is a breach of the marital contract.

Three, now that you are here you need to call a family meeting. Dump your respect and pride in the dustbin for now. Call that meeting between the two families and expose the matter there. Tell them about your predicament as a husband not getting intimate with his wife and tell them you got another lady pregnant. All parties need to be aware of what has happened. If your wife wants to leave let her leave, you brought this on yourself. Take care of the newborn and her mother they are now your responsibility.

OPweysabi:
Let me start by stating that genuine advice and constructive criticism are what I desire and that exactly led me into this form of expression in this public domain.
I clocked 41 years old earlier this year and I got married 11 years ago. The marriage with my wife has not been able to yield any fruit of the womb but that is not even the problem here. At least I observed a lot of people have had great testimonies from the IVF procedure recently as many of the recent threads on here made us believe.
At the beginning, it was not much of a big deal as we thought it was perhaps not a right time for us to conceive but we kept pushing. The disturbing issue, however at that time was that my wife had a very low sex drive from the beginning and that was the way I met her. We later started going for several tests and the results revealed that it wasn't my fault at all but of course, there were some medical issues she had to sort, so we did all that. By 2014, I noticed she started drawing back in bed and that raised a lot of concerns. So I spoke with one of her brothers who is about my age mate, but I noticed no changes like her brother did not raise the issue with her at all. By 2017, I went to Abeokuta to see her mum and told her about her daughter's new fashion of running away from intimacy between me and her. She promised to talk to her. Then I got tired of going for various medical tests as I wondered why we had to spend money and time on tests which won't be backed up by the proper thing eventually. Since then, I think we only made love once and that should be in 2018 or so. Since 2018, there's not been a single hug not to talk of kiss as we lost it completely!

So I met a much younger girl and we started dating. Initially, it was just for the fun of it and to relieve myself of the domestic stress. Later, we got so much into each other and she got pregnant for me! We both agreed to abort it as we knew the danger inherent in keeping it. But then, my wife continued to force me with the periodic medical tests (without the slightest form of intimacy) while the other lady continued to abort pregnancies she had for me. Only last year, the girl aborted 3 pregnancies for me and I felt so bad using her as lab rat. Now I'm 41, when most of my mates don't have infants as children but I'm still contending with a wife who has decided never again to go to bed with me. Confusingly, the other girl is pregnant for me and I'm strongly determined not to abort it this time. In fact, it's already 5 months old!
Now my problems are

*I'm legally married and I have no single problem with my wife asides the issues raised above.

*I think it's criminal because I had a court wedding and I might be prosecuted if she gets to know about this, more so that we are not divorced.

*The pregnant lady's mum has met me before and she doesn't want me because she knows I'm married, so we didn't tell her parents but all her siblings are fully aware and in full support, maybe because they know I've perfected plans to move her abroad to have the baby and let the baby have overseas citizenship. Currently, I've gotten her a well furnished flat since 2 years ago also got her a job paying her 200k monthly.

*My wife's family respect me so much and I think they'll all be disappointed if they get to know.

*I did not tell anybody at all. Not a single family member or friend of mine knows about it because I don't want to be discouraged or lose focus, then nobody can tell me how to create my own happiness.

*I have never had a single issue with the new lady before as she is even about 13 years younger than I am and she respects me a lot. I believe she can't drag issues with me in the future and even if she does, my child remains my child.

*I have never been a fan of polygamy as I understand its intricacies. I know my wife will most likely walk away if she gets to know about this and it will be her strangest imagination!

*I know I can't eat my cake and have it. So what am I to do?

Mods please help shift this to FP as it's an issue really bothering me and I want the participation of many people with diverse opinions.

Chaiiii

U re 41 and still behaving like this?

I tot they say a fool at fort.........well


Ur wife is denying u conjugal right to complement the series of medical whatever u have had but u re still here sayin rubbish.

We all know u re wrong, yes u re. But av u asked if the wife is also wrong??

And moreso, instead of u telling everytin to ur wife family and reporting her to them, why didn't u seek knowledge from ur father or her father??

Let assume she divorce u, what wil happen?? Will heaven falls??

Those ladies who brought in children of different fathers to home, were dey killed??

U re still young bro, u re not talking like a man of 41, u re talking like a boy of 21 sir.

And i pray it wil not be too late before u wake up from ur foolishness.


Imagine a 41yr old teenage boy who is bn punished by his wife, have sex last with his wife 4yrs ago and he's here sayin rubbish

Oyiboman69:
what's the essence of marriage?....
You're in the right track.
I'll advice you not to fly her abroad cos women cannot be trusted with power.
I blame you for making your relationship a secret in this first place. this is an Africa,men should be men not sissy

having kids is not the essence of marriage Mr. Anyone can have kids with or without marriage

Even mad people on the street do have kids

Hello.... I saw your pm notification, but unfortunately I can't access my mail on this forum. You could drop your contact or something.

Cheers...