Dear diary, this morning, I want to start by apologizing to my ancestors, guiding angels and every other spirits that were looking up to me, for the embarrassment I caused them, last Thursday. I pray they find it in thier hearts to forgive them.
In the vein, I want to say a very big congratulations to my village people for the great victory they recorded over my head that day.. Champions they were, but never again, would they be.

Dear diary, On Thursday, I booked this ride online, and in less than 15 minutes, my ride arrived.. I exchange greetings with the driver, hopped in, and enjoyed the trip.
The Uber driver was real fun.... we discussed and laughed severally.
I reached my destination, and it was now time to pay this man..
Wahala o
Diary, Wahala.
I searched my four trouser pockets and guyyyy, there was no money in it.
In the first pocket, was a sheet of paper where I wrote down the names of Real Madrid players and their weekly salary, `what I was going to use to argue, the next time, I go to Bet9ja shop.
In the second pocket, was a red shirt button, which I was going to use needle to stich back into my shirt.
In the third pocket was "A three days power packed salvation ministries, crusade" flyer, that one of this over zealous member gave me, in school.
In the last pocket, was a smelly handkerchief that I have never washed for once, for almost two years of use..
Guyyyy.... While discussing with this driver few minutes, he already told me he doesn't trust Nigerian banks, so there was no possiblity he will have a bank account, so phone transfer is out of it.

I looked around, and all I saw was three empty pure water sachets, an expired mentholatum container, and an aged woman of at least 102 years, with a single tooth.
That was when I knew my own was finished.
The wicked driver didn't even say a word. He was just watching and examining my stupidity, which I was exhibiting in excess reaction.

Dear diary, in the interest of peace, and so I won't share the same number of teeth with that old woman, I removed everything I was wearing and gave to this demonic driver, then poured sand on my head, and entered the nearest market.