STRUGGLING WITH GOD : THE FLESH VS THE SPIRIT - PART 1

By written Joshua salami.

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there are many things I had wanted to do but ended up not doing .
I knew what steps to take but the things I want to do ,and willing to do ;
that I do not practice.
And the things I dont want to do ,and not willing to do ;
that I find my self doing .

Ho wretched man !
Who will deliver me from this weakness of the flesh ?

I sat down to think of a way forward holding a rod in my left hand ;
the rod that fell on me from heaven .

While I was struggling within myself; contemplating on how to deal with my weaknesses and face the challenges ahead of me .
SUDDENLY
A being appeared before me ,
The countenance of his face was has the brightness of the sun .
his voice sounds as the rushing of the waters.
his eyes sparkles with fire .
his hair was as white as snow ,
his feet was like polished brass ,
and his robe glittered as the glittering of the finest gold.

The image of him caused me to draw back with fear ; I fell on the ground with my face as one dead ,then he spoke to me and said

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" Stand on you feet ! "

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I did as commanded, and stood ; and behold the man .
my fears ,and worries left immediately and I retained the former state of my soul .
My hardness of heart revealed itself from within me , the stiffness of rebellion came out from it hidding .
Then I faced the man with proposal of a fight .
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Then he said to me :

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"Are you ashamed of me ?
Ashamed of my words ?
Are you afraid of men  ?
Afraid of their gods ?

Are you willing to suffer ?
Embrace the cross I offer ?

Would you go with me to calvary ?
Or you would go to an  alveary .
They said "I don't pay workers salary
And you're lookin for a panary.

See no glory in this world of vain
All pleasures here ends in pain
Only me can give you what is gain
A life no one can take like Cain .

Join my rank and hold unto my strength
Trust in my help , give your soul no stress .
Speak what I told you and say nothing less
If I say go up the hard hill there you shall press.

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Then I replied :

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see I am weak
Like a child of a week .
Am not ready to die ,
I can't  go no where .
I can't afford to lose a dime
not even a single  hair .
Maybe you should find another ,
ama niga not a brother .
Ama rebel
don't love to take order .

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He answered :

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Hmm.
Do yo know why you are here ?
Has the reason come into your ear ?
Losing your purpose ; would you not fear ?
About to live for vanity ; will you not care ?

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I answered again :

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But see !
I want to live my life
I want a sweet spouse
,my children would be  five .
Want money want fame ,
Want to live without a strive .
Maserati ,Ferrari
those are my dream drives.

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He took his turn again :

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Vanity is vanity
But all things are not vanity .
Money is good
Children are gifts
Spouses are blessing
But faith in me is eternal life .

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I fought back :

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Many had faith in you but yet couldn't dive.
Many sick still lost their lives
Many hungry but you didnt feed them
Many astray but you didnt lead them .

I gave him a hard blow :

tell me which gain is there in following you?
They  are persecuted for calling on you .
They  look like fools for trusting in you .
They would have been better off without you.
what kind of a man should then  follow you ?

Tell me !

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He gave a defense :
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I will be justified in my words
I will  proven to be right when I am judged
These utterances of yours are not truth but forged .
Satan intended by them - obstacles ;
but I will ford .

You darkened counsel by words without  knowledge
What man won't feel the heat of fire but want porridge ?
A stiff neck, a hardened heart but want to be encouraged ?

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He continued :

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I put gold through fire to give it texture
I put sand through water to give it a mixture
Drive chisel through stone to give it fine picture
a feeble sheep on the narrow way would sign out in short time for fracture .


As many as I love I chastise .
That they may cease to patronize Satan's enterprise.
I will not lay the foundation of Zion with stones not tried .
Neither will those who do not overcome gain the golden prize.

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We fought till the breaking of the day
then he said to me " I will meet you again .
Turned his face to walk away .

please wait !
I stpped him .

"I will not let you go ,but you must tell me your name "

he replied

" i will not tell you my name neither will you tell me yours until the day that I succeed in breaking you and cause you to lean on that staff .
He said pointing to the staff in my left hand .

He then vanished out of sight.

written by Joshua salami .

This could be your story too

Your flesh is your weakness ,
God's spirit is the source of your empowerment

I'm not done yet

The more I look at the world the more I see a people so distracted

The blessed Sunday is here

Still struggling with God

Wonderful

Working on something new .

To me: this is not just any kind of poem but one that communicates life .

Yet to write the part 2

This poem communicates life