After she has your baby, chase her to go and marry the ex. I don’t see why she can’t cut off from him. Women sometimes, sha.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

1. How do you know the kids are yours?
2. These were the factors that drove her to her ex:

i. Her feelings for the so called ex was stronger than the one she had fir you. Hence, no matter how many times you told her to cut contact, she bluffed you

ii. Your financial state is/wasn't good enough for her.

Has these conditions changed? Even if you have money today, how do you know she wouldn't be using your money to upgrade the guy?

This is what I would do.
1. Carry out secret DNA test.
2. If the kids are not mine, cut her lose.
3. If they are mine, stop having sex with her. Allow the kids to add one or two more years and device a means to train them and cut her lose.

Forever is too long.

Send her away

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

My broda the ex is sweeter than u. Whether you cut communications, they will still find way of reaching out together. Make sure your cut off his number from your wife’s brain cos if it’s still there, they will knack Kalakuta for your very before eyes. Make hay while the sun shines.
No forget DNA is also needed!!!!

God1000:
This is a very serious issue, be firm and decisive in dealing with it.

Give her a little space for now, at least 6 months to one year and see if she will change.

Such ugly discovery in my partner will surely end our union, I simply can't forgive some deliberate mistakes

Wow, so you are telling someone to take advice that u cannot take if u were in his shoes, Bros nawaoohh this ur advice no pure ooo. I come in peace.

Benincity:


I have never insulted anybody on Nairaland before. But for this nonsense
You're such a big f**l. The biggest f**l I've ever seen on earth.

thank you ,is that the advice I needed? Definitely she is going,no two ways about it.But cease insult pls

No, it isn't your wife's ex that wants to ruin your marriage. It is your wife herself that wants to use her hand to ruin your marriage.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

U re stupid !

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

Apologies this is happening but it's still in it's early stages so you can carefully treat the issue at hand with a good sanitizer.
Firstly go do a DNA test for your children.
Next of all I'll say if both of you are really christians then this is what you should do.
Ask your wife to pray to God forgiving her of infidelity and you do likewise. Both of you should do together out of a sincere heart and be truthful to God whom you pray to. Pray together on this so you can both hear yourselves pray one after the time. Your wife prays first then you pray after her. Forgive both yourselves with a clear conscience and pure heart.
The next thing to do is that both of you go see her parents and tell them what she has done lately. You definitely know her background and family so you should know how to go about it and see their response.
Try as much as possible to keep this away from your family.
Do the best you can for the children. Have a relationship with God on a daily basis.
Yes, it's painful but it all can be corrected and have a good restart assuming both of you are willing by God's grace and mercy.

Writercruze:
Sorry, but have you done DNA test for your child? I don't want to be negative but there's high chances that that child is not yours.

Yes I am just gathering money now to do it . Before end of this months,I should do it

I can't say I know how you feel, but be strong.

Truckpusher:
You're an idiot

ok

So sorry my brother
But what are u still waiting for. Even the Bible does not support adultery. She will do it again

2special:
Yeah cuz it's so obvious, it's very difficult to call a wise man a foolish man and likewise a foolish man a wise man...I pray God will open your eyes of understanding and see you through but incase like this I don't even need to pray to God before taking any decision...God have already done his part by the exposure.

Bro you are real.son of your father. Dont mind that guy let him continue to look for advice here. Simple men everywhere.

As for me, you have said it all... If you find out any little of even a communication between her with her ex just call the relationship off, that's the height of it. Be strong and continue, good luck.

Agbekehorla:
She never loved you bro

Baby let's meet

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

u are not even serious. U have proof that the ex slept with ur wife n u are still waiting for when to send her packing. I feel sorry for u cos u might eventually loose ur life to this guys. Do d needful n have her divorce

What amuses me most is that her ex anointed the 5 months old baby in the womb, not with oil, but with his cum!
Methinks the babe would think it is infant milk and swallow up everything in one gulp!

Poor child!

As for you my boy, my humble advice is that you end this marriage fast otherwise, premium tears would be loading soon for you.

Nonsense upon ingredients!

Women marry who is ready and not who they love.

On point Bro!

Righteousness2:
Sorry bro. Really a painful and unfortunate discovery.

You both should Seek Godly counseling from one who is Spiritually matured. Someone you both can Confindently pour out the truth of your home to.

I Pray for you! GOD Almighty Heal you, Heal your Home and Restore your Home in JESUS Name..

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

@op do you mean it or just catching cruise??.
If its true then Liston.
For this life,na one thing must surely kill a man.
Na God's blessing whenever a man survives an accident( ur current situation).
Is she your girlfriend or wife??
If she I your wife and you still call her your wife,my brother u Bleep up.
For u to even claim the ownershio of the pregnancy and the children is called suicide.
Conduct dna test on them.
Go back and collect your dowry.
God don dey show u signs since u dey dull.
For nigeria wey hard na him 1 person go carry unforgettable problem put for ur head.
We all deserve the best in whatever we do.

[quote author=Soulflai post=115765744]I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.


You turn my stomach with all these your nonsense write-up.you still see that as a wifelet me tell you this,that your so called wife does not love you,and your life and good health is in the hand of the her ex,I promise you he will soon take you out of his way.you better send her packing today and not tomorrow.katikati!!!

Before u take any step, confirm whether or not those children r urs.

The woman won't change, it will b worse going forwards. Allow her 2 go back 2 her ex since her so called ex she love, but why will she had 2 waste ur time, resources and sanity? Sue d hell out of them both.

You had given yourself a good advice! Quit the marriage next time you catches her, problem is too in this country and any married woman that refused to respect her marriage and husband won't be tolerated! Men needs to be living longer! Men's lives matters!

Heathrow44:




U re stupid !

Are you the wife's ex or the wife?

Soulflai:
no, definitely no,am just too broke to cater for my kids alone

Can you afford a DNA test?

This one is not happy with life cos of the prostitute he married ! I pity you. If u like go buy snipper & drink cos of woman. The ex will take over full. The child she is carrying sef ! Just start saving for DNA. I dislike weak men.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

PraiseGodNoTime:
Are you the wife's ex or the wife?

The kids would be fine,

https://criesandlaughter./2022/08/i-know-why-average-nigerian-man-doesnt.html


The poem (I Know Why An Average Nigerian Man Doesn't Smile) reminds us of the silent struggle of a common man. Before you berate that man for not meeting your expectations, remember that that man has a lot of things going on in his life.


Remember to drop your comment.

Is not that he is about to ruin it he is ruining it how can someone b sleeping with her when she is carrying your baby Is better u do a blood test on the baby b4 is too late for you

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

At the first instance when you discovered what she did even after you have paid her dowry and she went ahead to sleep with the guy you should have ended the marriage instantly because what she has done is an abomination in God's eyes and tradition which is a no no for me, in where i came from once you know your wife had sex with another man and you still keep her in the marriage your life will be at risk the moment you ate her food unless she has gone through cleansing in the family compound, see my brother you will continue to leave with this if you don't take the necessary steps and discharge her and make sure you do a DNA test for your child to confirm if the child is yours.i can manage to accept a cheating girlfriend if it's just once but not a cheating wife the day i find out that's the day the marriage will end.so my advice for you is to end the marriage and both of you should co parent the child which with time the baby will understand why you discharge her mother. My 2cent.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

It is really a hard situation. Can be heartbreaking.
I think the major work need to be done by ur wife and not her Ex.
I don't think you need to go fighting with the Ex unless you just wanna talk to him as man to man to let ur wife be.
Apart from that, you don't need to be calling him.
You need to talk sense into ur wife and let her understand hw broken she makes u feel.
Let her see the hole she is creating on the film of your trust on her.
Give her a little time to see hw she can change.
Some people don't make changes until something serious happened to them.
Now you have discovered her secret, I believe she may change.
May God heal you guys and the marriage.