| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Elock1: 9:13pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.
Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.
And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)
So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to
I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe 
I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??
Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me this is exactly my story but I've overcome it to an extent.. Where are you chatting from? |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Ulunne777(f): 9:14pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
MorningStar233:
What is your problem with the military? And you even said he should join if he is a northerner.. Northeners die in the Frontline like others so don't be deceived. They said they have the numbers to replenish the ones lost at the war front.we the south don't have it  |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by kingyakos: 9:15pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Try going for daily workout, listen to rap music, engage your self in martial arts, learn how to play Chess, infact buy yourself a Chessboard etc. It help you rapidly, I'm the only son too and it almost happened to me but i fought mine with stubbornness. 1 Like |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Godsentd: 9:15pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Am currently passing same.. As the only child I don't even get the joy in staying home all day . I don't get wat I want except u present speech about ur request before I get even while in school, I don't even have a better phone and when ever I ask others for help the think am joking or trying to truck them but truly de don't help things... I need a phone but am using my neighbors phone to login my accounts,,,, its really depressive sometimes I think of suicide 2 Likes |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by AgentGoat: 9:17pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Remove from your savings and rent an apartment and start living alone by yourself. It shouldn't be too far from your home. Get small small kitchen appliances and start preparing your food. Go out make friends with ladies. Be bold. Don't feel dejected if you iniate a conversation and they don't respond well. Just move on. Unto the next one. Don't be too romantic start from being just friends first. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by TenQ: 9:19pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.
Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.
And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)
So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to
I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe
I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??
Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me Your problem is NOT your parents but your genetic makeup. You can only manage it by being bold, strategic, calculative and audacious: it's your choice and your call. Turn your life over to God and focus on building your future. At the end of the day, it's about you and your use of opportunities that come your way and not your parents 1 Like |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by sharone21(f): 9:20pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
I'm still looking for the wrong your parents did and can't find any....
Pampering that some people are craving from their parents and never saw any.
Only son out of 4 girls, almost like in my house ( we were 5 girls + 1 boy youngest) and you want to join army not that you are 10 boys?
Suffering is calling you since you want to follow the hard way....
All these things you are worried about,bit is just that you are mentally lazy.....So, you can't read books that can financially empower you or wayltch YouTube to gain some skills including critical thinking skills, specific skills, financial empowerment ability etc
You are blaming your parents unnecessarily. There comes a time that people will start comparing you to your mates( not parents) based on your accomplishments.
You can start some where/ somehow.... On your pornography, when u feel the urge, you can go listen to our Nigerian gospel music and with time, the feeling goes away + occupying yourself/ time profitably.
Try to surround yourself with friends who have the strengths in what u lack. Before you enter any relationship, please build yourself and give yourself a timeline eg 3,6,9, 12 months to learn somethings.... You can also take a job( not military) even if the salary isn't much to put you at the door of the career or type of life you hope to attain.
Be open to positive help even if it is therapy too.
Peace 2 Likes |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by babadee1(m): 9:20pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.
Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.
And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)
So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to
I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe
I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??
Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me You can't go back in time to change the past but you can focus on the future. Forgive your parents and take responsibility for your own decisions as well. You can't blame them for everything you made some decisions too which have influenced your life. Above all pray to God and put your trust in Jesus for a turnaround soon. May God answer your prayers. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Dearlord(m): 9:20pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Dear OP, tell your parents to get you wife.
For the 270K you can DM so that I will teach you how to make more money to take care of your married life |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Wittyglam(f): 9:20pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I'm tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now why are doing this again? You can let them know you’re capable of making your own decision but cutting them off for doing something they felt was love is very wrong. Nobody is too old for therapy. You’re still very young and capable of building yourself it’s just one step at a time. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by MirrorD(m): 9:22pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
You are just an introvert by nature. It doesn't have anything to do with how your parent raised you. 3 Likes |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Jayrockk: 9:22pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.
Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.
And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)
So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to
I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe
I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??
Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me I used to be like you, low self-esteemed, shy and boring etc. But I decided to change, to become a SAVAGE. Use all your weaknesses as fuel to unleash the monster within. Some people you look up to today were in worse situation than you but they turned out great. You have potentials within you which you need to harness to become the best version of yourself. 
|
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Joeyfizzo: 9:24pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Join the military if it's ur choice bro....My dad and elder brother tried controlling my life ....we don't talk anymore. I am presently a Lieutenant in the Navy...my dream Job |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Lifewasgood: 9:24pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Can you stop blaming your parents for problems you created yourself.
Your parents were not in your classrooms neither in your hostel.
As for the girls part, start by toasting them on social media (Anybody still dey toast girl face to face?). If you nor know wetin to talk use google search "what to say to a girl I just met", "what to say to make her fall me". Do everything online abi she wan slap you through phone wey you go dey shy.
Your papa and mama nor do you anything cos some of us our parents nor get shop na work Dem dey go so any day wey nor be school Dem dey provide food and lock you throughout inside house. 1 Like |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by PS712: 9:24pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I'm tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now You are so wrong! While growing up they didn't put you through some hard times so that you feel the other hard side of life, it's true, but you are going about it the wrong way and it may end in regrets. If any of your parents or siblings loses his or her life because of this thing you are doing you won't live to forgive yourself, more so that the whole problem right now is something you need only you to fix. You don't need any of them to know what you want for your life. You don't need any of them to toast, convince and date a girl. You don't need any of them to know which skill or endeavour you can do and should embark on. Please call them and apologize while you have time. 1 Like |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Geovanni412(m): 9:25pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.
Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.
And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)
So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to
I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe
I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??
Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me Op, first of all, don't see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. What you need is real friends or a mentor. If you can't find one in real life, start by finding one online. Start watching YouTube channels and interviews of people you want to be like. Watch videos of David Goggins and read his book. Follow Andrew Tate on rumble.com - listen to some of the stuff he says. That should solve most of your mentality issue. Your problem of social awkwardness is easy to solve - most guys have had that issue at some point in their life. Here's the truth- you are afraid and don't know what to say or how to have good body language in conversations. Watch videos on how to hold conversations with people, proper body language. YouTube is your best friend and senior brother at this point in time. After watching these videos, start practicing small bits at a time. For girls, start by talking to girls you have zero interest in. The girls you'll typically describe as 'ugly'. You'll find it easier to practice the conversation tactics with them than with the ones you find attractive because you won't be under pressure. In time, your confidence will grow and you'll find it easier to talk to the cute girls. For masturbation and porn, I won't lie to you , its' your frustration about other aspects of your life that is dragging you to them. Try and improve your mentality with the steps I mentioned earlier. Also, try and start a workout program to keep you busy. Whether bodyweight or going to the gym. It will boost your confidence. You won't focus on porn and masturbation if you have sth productive doing. Change the music you are listening to. You need money - stop listening to dem love songs. What you need to listen to is music that talks about money. Get yourself some Young Dolph and Key Glock album or any other real nigga album not afrobeats. Afrobeats na for guys wey dey find love not for guys wey need money. Your music conditions your mood. Avoid all these raunchy music videos - they won't help you at all. Just focus on money jamz for now. Please, you are not dumb - you finished University with at least a pass degree. What you lack is self-confidence. Go to the gym and at least get good at building muscle. You need to rewire your brain with positive affirmations. And take positive steps to work on yourself. You need to do both. Business idea with 270k -- forget about business till you work on yourself and your confidence. You can't succeed in business without being able to communicate clearly to your clients and staff. So, focus on learning that for the next 90 days /3 months. 5 Likes |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by SeriouslySense(m): 9:25pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Interesting perspective. Chill, you are 24, now, what stops you from exposing yourself to variety of experiences, choose to learn something new everyday, and see, if you like it, create hobbies for yourself, dont beat yourself down, it wil make your situation worse.
Start Assuming that you are interesting and people like you, say it to yourself.
The secret is to believe in yourself, even if you are boring, then you are not boring, because its a state of mind, that will reflect.
What you think is what you become, you can be interesting, and you dont even speak all the time.
If you are feeling bad inside, people will perceive it, so cheer up and have faith in yourself, and people will notice there is something about you that is great. So as a man, learn a lot of skills and find out what you like. 1 Like |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Wittyglam(f): 9:25pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
I know of a lot of kids that had this treatment and are doing fine. Your parents did nothing but show you love in the way they felt was right.
Stop the blame game. You’re still very young, research, talk to people and get something doing.
If you can’t afford a house yet, there is nothing bad in going back you your parents house and showing them you’re capable of making your own decisions. 1 Like |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by emmycourage1: 9:27pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Everything you mentioned here is my story too. I'm currently serving in minna, Niger state, I'm 25years. My parents cause what I'm facing now. I'm so timid and quite.
Please call me let's talk 09150425084 and 08168660464 my WhatsApp number 1 Like |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by ILuvKIDS: 9:28pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.
Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.
And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)
So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to
I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe
I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??
Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me You are 24 Slow down! Your parents choices and pattern comes at no supriose because you are the only SON. Enjoy the life your parents have provided you. As for women ,you don't need communicative skills. Be successful and the rest is history. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Socratiz: 9:28pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Your parents did what they knew as a way to bring you up. Yes, it was over-parenting but that was the best they knew.
There is no doubt that your childhood experiences have contributed to who you are today and how you see life, but this does not have to define your future.
I am a professional mental health therapist and I can help and support you to devise a new course of life.
You can send me a mail |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Ablemed: 9:28pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Elock1:
this is exactly my story but I've overcome it to an extent.. Where are you chatting from? still running my service in NE but home is sw |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by blamelessly(f): 9:29pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
You need Jesus! Find a good bible believing church to attend and ask to talk with a pastor. You are fighting a mind battle. Only you can overcome it with the help of the Holy Spirit. God is love. Learn how to love and forgive yourself first. Suicide is never the way out. Don't let the devil talk you into it Invite Jesus into your life and allow him to help you ín your weakest state in life. God bless you |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by mainkendo: 9:30pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Op the devil is about to take course of your life. One of two things would happen in your life |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by ashjay001(m): 9:34pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:
Making friends is not issue, the thing is even you as a person, a boring friend will bore you out that's just how my relationship with my friends are atm, I've got no vibe to maintain a discussion. in short I'll literally bore you out and that's just my case. About work, I bet you any manager will sack me after 2weeks or a month highest, there are some ethics that i'm seriously lacking
Bro I swear you won't and can't understand me You're a very smart guy. Now, can you make the sacrifice to make things work? Pple are worse than you and still get things done?! Like someone suggested, get accommodation. If possible, get with a friend, you can't live alone yet, too depressing, esp as you won't likely gell with the neighbors well. Rent in a rough environment, slum sef. Get any kind of job or apprenticeship. Or, you can even be going to your family shop to work. Make dem employ you. A clean break will not do anyone any favors, that I promise you. It will just make everything worse |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Jamiubond009(m): 9:34pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
08069603161 Ablemed:
How can I reach you?? |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Kaneneaya: 9:36pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Listen, I have a son who is suffering from depression. I live in US and he has a psychiatrist who he sees once a month. He takes medicine "Sertraline" for his depression and goes to a special school that has counselors who monitor the students mood changes. You may need to treat this medically and stop blaming your parents.
You lived a protected life. A lot of rich kids in US also live a protected life and they do not suffer from it. In terms of making friends, I was that kid that
when I open my mouth, other kids will tell me to shot up. Well, if you do what I do, it could help you. Every year, I decide what new thing I will learn and spend an hour every day studying it. How does that help, you may ask. Well I'm so knowledgeable that people usually come to me to ask how something works. It's very empowering. For example, your friends will be pretty excited if you could explain how navigation system works in a car, differences between cell phones, different types of war planes and their capabilities, etc.
I recently learned spanish language by reading and watching videos in internet. I also speak french. You just need to empower yourself. 1 Like |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by CanineOfJackal: 9:37pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:
Making friends is not issue, the thing is even you as a person, a boring friend will bore you out that's just how my relationship with my friends are atm, I've got no vibe to maintain a discussion. in short I'll literally bore you out and that's just my case. About work, I bet you any manager will sack me after 2weeks or a month highest, there are some ethics that i'm seriously lacking
Bro I swear you won't and can't understand me You are not boring. You just need to get out of your she'll. Start going to viewing centre to watch football match Try to make friends and act like them but being consious of right from wrong Make friends with the opposite sex and read books online on how to woo ladies and also just be yourself. The secret to wooing a lady is just keep a conversation that piques her interest going. Don't blow your trumpet, just allow everything to go seamlessly |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Ayomide1012: 9:37pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Look for a house to rent dont go and stay with your parents look for a skill to learn, you can go back to your city but dont stay with your parents and try as much as possible to always go to church read your Bible pray every morning Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.
Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.
And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)
So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to
I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe
I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??
Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by OfficialP: 9:40pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
gaby:
Sad to know how parents try to live their own lives and dreams through their children and end up traumatising or outrightly destroying these children's lives in the process. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Dannjay(m): 9:41pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
I took the time to read your story. It is a good thing that you have first acknowledged you need help. Do not entirely blame your parents until you become one. Calling your Mom was too hasty and I advise you not to call your Dad. They are aged and you may trigger what might get them agitated. You wouldn't want to feel guilty if anything should happen to any of them.
Adulthood has happened and I think this should be what you should be telling them. Channel your energy into building yourself and most importantly, surround yourself with people that have a positive mindset |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by franchasofficia: 9:43pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Black girls are wicked, selfish.
Can't one or two kind girls on Nairaland volunteer and PM op and meet him and fvck some sense into his head?
Op is dying of konji, dear ladies grab this guy cos I was once like him, and guess what? It was all because of konji. Konji can cause a man's brains to misfire.
Ladies please be kind, PM this guy and surprise him with love, not yeye money love, I mean fvck him without asking him for money, grab this guy now that he is completely free cos I see a super successful young man in this op. 1 Like |
