omega25red:

the husband better quit and take care of them kids. Besides staying home would give him time to study and improve on his career so when he decides to get back to work, he can earn more money too ( i know this is where your mind is going)

Goldieluks:

The solution is clear enough,the husband has to resign,but i don't think
its a good idea,for a man to stay at home,while the woman becomes the bread winner.

pinkrex:

That just the first thing to come to your mind aight? BTW, who now becomes the man when this happens

Da Doctor:

^^LET THEM BOTH WORK FOR A WHILE START A BIZNESS AND THEN THE WIFE SUSTAINS SAME COMBINING IT WITH HOME KEEPING, WHILE THE MAN BRINGS THE PENNY HOME^^

THAT WILL DO THEM GOOD

Goldieluks:



Da Doc is right too!

The man is always the head no matter what happens along the line,but
when the man starts staying at home taking care of the kids,there's this instinct
in women,to start looking at the man,like he's loose his MALE pride,and not man enough for her.
It is only in very few cases,that the man's pride still stays intact,very few.

pinkrex:

No offense, but read the post again.

Oga! wetin u mean? i gave u a practical solution.

Exactly my point, but does that makes sense??

kokoye:

Does one have to resign?

Cant they manage till either . .or both get a job that'll give more family time?

It is not easy to raise a family . . .that's one of the things you have to deal with.

It's in Africa . . and money is very important, get a family member to stay with the kids for the time being.

We had loads of family members in my house when I was young.

Da Doctor:

nothing like sentiment. we are being realistic here. The woman is more skilled in home keeping. what can a man do. give the children suck?

See the man just has been placed above the woman by God himself. Not saying he shud being an authoritarian though.

You need to see the attitude of women who work and feed their hubby for real.

Goldieluks:



Da Doc is right too!

The man is always the head no matter what happens along the line,but
when the man starts staying at home taking care of the kids,there's this instinct
in women,to start looking at the man,like he's loose his MALE pride,and not man enough for her.
It is only in very few cases,that the man's pride still stays intact,very few.

pinkrex:

NO offense,  But refine your next post after brainstorming

In this kinda African setting, the man will become a woman while being naturally a man.

pinkrex:

That's an alternative bro buh what im talking about has to do with who has to resign wif immediate effect to care for the kids and that point in time.
If thats your opinion den its cool tho.

pinkrex:

NO offense, But refine your next post after brainstorming

In this kinda African setting, the man will become a woman while being naturally a man.

Mynd_44:

There is no way to answer this the right way so I will make it personal. If I was the guy, I will quit for the sake of my children. The whole male pride thing cannot stop me from giving my kids the best. The funds is very important and while my wife works, I can also try to find something doing that will take less time and still keep me busy cos ' can't stand not doing anything

pinkrex:

Coool, But can the man really do all the chores like the woman would? #justsaying

pendo89:

^^ not bad.I also know of an almost similar case.
The hubby had a good job but the wife had to leave the country to go pursue a PHD in a prestigious university.
After a while, the hubby had to forsake his good job,and travel with their young kid to accompany and support the wife.
He stayed in the house with their baby boy till she was through with her PHD and landed a dream job.
And now it was the guy's turn to study.He graduated last year and they both have wonderful jobs and 2 kids!
It takes a very understanding partner to make things work. At times Pride hinders us from achieving our goals and being happy.


@op The dude is not dying here! Hes sacrificing something for the good of[b] his[/b] family.On the other hand he should not just sit at home and play house hubby.
He can manage a biz and work from home.People nowadays have Virtual offices therefore he can still run and manage an office from his living room.
Eventually the kids will grow and not need baby sitting.The man will simply continue with what he  has been doing. Infact he will be more flexible

Having said, that we must also bear in mind that the kids need both parents time not just 1.
So its not the quantity [/b]of time you spend with your kids that will make difference.Its the[b] quality.
I hr quality time with them is much better than 8 hours spent doing nothing for them.

pendo89:

Those are not toddlers.
If you asked me,the solution is not to resign but to balance their time well.
With the tough economic times I believe both salaries are needed however lil the other party brings.
Many people are managing and they are raising very good kids anyway cz they value quality more than quantity time.
They need to reduce office hours,stop carrying work home,and dedicate their weekends to the family.
They also need to sacrifice a bit of the social time spent with friends if they intend to balance this well.
Remember too that a job unless its your own is not permanent so never risk yours assumimg that the other partner is on permanent employment.
I grew up in a boarding school from a very tender age without my mum and dad around everyday and I turned out to be very responsible early in life, when most of my agemates were living with parents and acting like babies.
Some distance helps kids mature fast.

pinkrex:

You think so? some of these parents are afraid of taking a house help or bringing a family member who might cause some problems in the family.

Those kids stay alone after school, their mom would dish their food into a flask and always beg their neighbors to help serve. The little girl hardly knows her mum nimore.

For the boarding school, you were lucky. 90% of kids turns out rude to their parents after school. Me i even became a bully after bschool.