Please hide my identity. My 3 year old baby passed away on the 14th of December. We decided to bury him on the 18th. On the 17th of December I got a call that my man got arrested and the person hung up before I could ask for more information. We buried my child without him. He only came on the 19th and told me it was a wrongful arrest. I took him to our child's grave and we cried together. He told me he was going away on business for a few days.

A day after he left I got a call from his ex that on the day we buried my child my man was getting married. The business trip he told me about was actually his honeymoon. He married the girl I once asked him about and he told me she was his distant cousin. I sent him a long text telling him about the call since he wasn't picking and that I was deeply hurt. He blue ticked me. What kind of a father misses his son's burial? Why do men do this to us? i have failed to forgive him all this while i keep getting hurt every time I think about it.

The pain I feel is deep and i have failed to move on its 9 months post and the anger keeps getting worse now that am approaching December for my son's memorial .Am tempted to go to a witch doctor and bewitch him.I was with him since 2014 and he married someone he met in June last year. please help have tried counseling and prayers nothing seems to work.

cc; lalasticlala

Where do you reside,ma?

There is need for urgent intervention before you blame yourself .

Fast and pray, the Lord will comfort you.

Zonefree:
Fast and pray, the Lord will comfort you.

You're asking a woman that is mentally down to fast and pray?

And when has prayer and fasting been the solution for this issue?

sorry ma
God will help u out ok

MufasaLion:


You're asking a woman that is mentally down to fast and pray?

And when has prayer and fasting been the solution for this issue?

She asked for our opinion, I've given her mine. Give her yours and rest.

Zonefree:

She asked for our opinion, I've given her mine. Give her yours and rest.

Your opinion will only make her situation worse!

MufasaLion:


Your opinion will only make her situation worse!

Oya, give her your own opinion that will make her situation best.

Men are scum

But why is it that some guys don't marry the woman that was there for them during their trying days?

Zonefree:

Oya, give her your own opinion that will make her situation best.

The guy obviously jilted her and since the only child that connected them is dead, she should move on.

She's vulnerable and there's nothing she can do except she wants to be exploited by Pastors, Herbalist and Imams all because of her irrational decision to punish him spiritually, which is still a dumb thing to do.

She should swallow the hard truth that the guy is gone and she should focus on herself, not make dumb decisions.

devilmaycry:
Men are scum

Is that all you can say

Divay22:
But why is it that some guys don't marry the woman that was there for them during their trying days?

This question has being treated severally here.

Before you say "I've been there with him during his trying time" , ask yourself, what did you do to help elevate him during the trying days? You think spreading legs like butter on a bread for him regularly during his trying days is enough to make him stick with you during his good days?

Fast and pray is the best ma that is my suggestion in this case

Based on the op's submission, It's obvious that she wasn't married to the man. Aside this, it's apparent, she isn't telling the whole truth. Some things don't add up.

This isn't supposed to be an issue except that the man faked his arrest and also his honeymoon. Dude have been enjoying the best of both worlds.....hitting you and his distant cousin. He is a despicable son of a gun. What freaking nerve.

I think the best thing is to burn anything that reminds you of him and move on.

This may sound callous given that the child is yours but I also think you should move on here and stop this memorial. You will keep reliving the pain.

You are no longer tied to the man and his child. The father has moved on, why don't you bury whatever that binds you to him and live your best life which is still ahead of you.

There isn't any best way out of this. It's just to swallow the pill and get on with your life.

Pick the pieces of your life and piece it together. Get a hobby or something. Meet people. Have a life already.

Turn the relationship status from privatized to public.



Sorry if I may ask, what killed your son? (Sounds like a rhetorical question but my instincts think his dad could be responsible).

Some men could be a douchebag.

I don't believe in wasting unnecessary time with women.

It's just hit and run.

Within a couple of days..... she will be fine.

It's criminal in my opinion, for a guy to hold on to a lady knowing fully well that she is on a biological clock.

Dang it.

That's despicable of him; I feel you're hiding something. If your hands are clean, then he's a mad man and deserves to be dealt with, not by you though but by karma.

If you're patient enough to wait on karma to avenge your course, you'll definitely laugh last, but if you decide to assist karma, you might have yourself to blame.

I know you're hurt but please, make sure you take control of your mind and thoughts

Always expect nothing and everything from humans.

Shalom.

MufasaLion:


The guy obviously jilted her and since the only child that connected them is dead, she should move on.

She's vulnerable and there's nothing she can do except she wants to be exploited by Pastors, Herbalist and Imams all because of her irrational decision to punish him spiritually, which is still a dumb thing to do.

She should swallow the hard truth that the guy is gone and she should focus on herself, not make dumb decisions.

So, this is the opinion that will make her feel good?

Divay22:
But why is it that some guys don't marry the woman that was there for them during their trying days?

It's called see finish...

Most times ehh, Men will always get the red flags when both of you are in relationship but will keep enduring while banging your pussy 24/7 because he already knows he's definitely not getting married to such lady.

No sensible Man will leave a good lady and marry another, she must have done something...

Zonefree:

This question has being treated severally here.

Before you say "I've been there with him during his trying time" , ask yourself, what did you do to help elevate him during the trying time? You think spreading legs like butter on a bread for him regularly during his trying time is enough to make him stick with you during his good days?

So if i spread my legs like butter on a bread regularly (this is actually funny)
Which i know sometimes he needs, at least to make him forget about his problems for a while
I support him with the little i have
I speak words of affirmation to him daily
I encourage him
I cook and wash his clothes
So all this doesn't count? for him to leave me for a girl he barely knows

Zonefree:

So, this is the opinion that will make her feel good?

No, it won't make her feel good.

She should rather go ahead with her diabolical plan while she get financially exploited and most likely be used for sex and also vulnerable to many other things. That's more better.

A grown up woman/man that can't use her common sense in difficult situations will end up doing more damage to herself/himself and that's not gonna be on anybody but her/him!

Don't quote me again.

Slynation:
It's called see finish...

Most times ehh, Men will always get the red flags when both of you are in relationship but will keep enduring while banging your pussy 24/7 because he already knows he's definitely not getting married to such lady.

No sensible Man will leave a good lady and marry another, she must have done something...

But is it not better he let her know on time so she can go her own way since she still has time than for him to be enjoying all her care and affection and end up not getting married to her thereby making her want to hurt him as pay back...

Sometimes i just feel, men don't know what they want too.

Divay22:

But is it not better he let her know on time so she can go her own way since she still has time than for him to be enjoying all her care and affection and end up not getting married to her thereby making her want to hurt him as pay back...

Sometimes i just feel, men don't know what they want too.

NooO... It's called free pussy

Tell your man to come on nairaland and narrate his own side of the story before i give my advice ..this your hogwash story doesn’t really add up

Happened:
Please hide my identity. My 3 year old baby passed away on the 14th of December. We decided to bury him on the 18th. On the 17th of December I got a call that my man got arrested and the person hung up before I could ask for more information. We buried my child without him. He only came on the 19th and told me it was a wrongful arrest. I took him to our child's grave and we cried together. He told me he was going away on business for a few days.

A day after he left I got a call from his ex that on the day we buried my child my man was getting married. The business trip he told me about was actually his honeymoon. He married the girl I once asked him about and he told me she was his distant cousin. I sent him a long text telling him about the call since he wasn't picking and that I was deeply hurt. He blue ticked me. What kind of a father misses his son's burial? Why do men do this to us? i have failed to forgive him all this while i keep getting hurt every time I think about it.

The pain I feel is deep and i have failed to move on its 9 months post and the anger keeps getting worse now that am approaching December for my son's memorial .Am tempted to go to a witch doctor and bewitch him.I was with him since 2014 and he married someone he met in June last year. please help have tried counseling and prayers nothing seems to work.

cc; lalasticlala

just change environment for sumtym, so that you can heal.