Amotolongbo:
to start with, have you ever been outside Nigeria before.

My family was in the same shoes with this OP last year.
I was outside Nigeria while my spouse was in Nigeria before coming to join me 3months after. He never never felt like this OP at anytime I was here.

Please lock your fingers!

Charli your family is different from another person, at least she’s a woman to begin and we all know what’s going on these days, so he has the right to protect what he has invested.
You can’t even compare your own situations with his , two different case when the comparison is analyzed.
You can’t even discuss without being enraged, u should rather lock your brain since u can’t use it.
No I will wait for you before I moved out from Nigeria u hear .
So many unreasonable folks on this forum.

Broo, I feel sorry for you because you'll certainly have serious challenges over there when you join her. I'll advice you to temporally ignore her for the moment & watch her reactions, this will give you an edge if things will patch up with both of you there or not. Good luck.

Amotolongbo:
All I can read here are
1. A lady who isn’t straight forward
2. A man who feels insecure

the man has every reason to be insecure married to washed up idiot like that

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

. If I were you, I would not join her in that UK. It's already a disaster waiting to happen.
I will stay back here and live a peaceful life.

I can't mortgage my peace and rest of mind for anything in this world.

This your woman go show you pepper for uk. I'm sorry for you. When you will see better shege na wen earns more than you there.
I don't know why ladies can't manage things chai!

I live in the UK and I have seen many married women who left their husbands.
During my studies last year, I know of many married women that who dresses naked to school then and followed men. All you need to do is remain in Nigeria with your mental health safe or travel and face the troubles that will come out of it.
If she decides to leave you, no complain but she'll regret it after UK boys chop her finish.

Please do not sell your property or any business you have in Naija so that you can see something to fall back on if the heat is too much when you finally join her in abroad.

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

una too Dey worry o.once woman don born for u she don pay her debt.if I see my wife with another man e no go bother me.Nthg really moves me anymore.my own na just to Dey make money Dey enjoy my life.

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

Not now. After 10 years that’s when her true Color will show. When you come over now na small small fight first because she know say she need you for the kids . Uk no de leave pikin for house . Women wise o, them the reason like pikin way smell party rice ( na so pikin go humble, call you uncle dance join to chop party rice. If you no give am rice again en no go show face ). Na after ima don obtain live to remain character go pop again. All the men I know for Abroad divorce their wife, because no be live you go the live na bondage

kbower:


This is exactly what I did over the last 2 days now, and guess what, she has been stalking me with calls. I only call her when there is something important to discuss, but calls based on, i miss u and all of that nor even dey again, the moment she noticed I have drifted from showing affection over calls, she started bombarding me with calls complaining that I dont call her.

Don't allow her to use u, after God fear women.
Presently, no unnecessary call, no spending and no care. Let's see her next action.
May God restore your home.

Stenvee:

My dear, be very careful with the advice you heed to online. It can make or mar your home. Most people telling you to ignore her are not even married and do not know the level of commitment that marriage requires.
If your home breaks today, they won't be there to help you cope.
Choose a suitable time with your wife, call her and talk about all these. Try to be calm and polite, do not judge or accuse her. Let her know your fears and how her actions are making you uncomfortable.

If after talking to her, she is still stubborn and not willing to change, you can just stay back in Nigeria and let her know that it was her attitude that made you take such decision.

Don't mind them. OP should not dare go there. She should either come home or stay back with that idiot over there. If he goes to UK to meet that woman, he will regret it.

LyfeJennings:


Pele o
Baba Londoner

Ask the google
Alaye, I never go there but got a woman and half of my family there so I know what I say
iGoing by all this nigga wrote
Dem don shook am.
Who calls his spouse 15times

So have they been fucking your woman?



Nonsense and smelling talk everywhere

2 years, some guys never settle in because them no see who go show them way but you dey talk smelly talk for mouth

Ordinary reference to rent house, my guy eye see whennn wey e nearly reach to cry

aestake:

Na lie, some will bring in the guy for you to normalize your thinking. Then they start banging the guy.

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

Oga stay back Nigeria. Una even get trust issues to begin with.

StUriah:
You mean if your wife is offered to be fvcked to get a reference, you will gladly approve it?

I use God beg you please don't come. Your madam would deal with you that confusion would be your name all your life and most especially don't handover the children over to her.

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

Sucre2003:
I live in the UK and I have seen many married women who left their husbands.
During my studies last year, I know of many married women that who dresses naked to school then and followed men. All you need to do is remain in Nigeria with your mental health safe or travel and face the troubles that will come out of it.
If she decides to leave you, no complain[b] but she'll regret it after UK boys chop her finish[/b].

Boys wey no get joy
Them no dey tell person
Them full here dey run after boys with pali
When them chop them finish, eye go clear

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

At this point, you need to tripple the trust u av for her. Letting her go aline is the first mistake. She is probably getting her first freedom away from u and d kids for the first time after marriage. Just be preparing to go and settle down “yourself” in that country. You guys will be alright.

HardBishop:


Is you that's displaying maximum potent of stupidity. It seems you don't know what marriage is all about. Lies, trickery are all part of what western marriages entails. Remove children and sex, I don't see anything valuable marrying a WOMAN

Sex shouldn’t be included just say pikin

Hmmm

kbower:


Bro the emboldened makes your statement right, and words on Marble, I have spent over 27 million naira on the japa process, and still have more to spend ahead. It is indeed a sacrifice, but bro, she nor even send or appreciate anything, but me nor send cos na the children be the koko. Infact the agent that arranged everything duped me of 3k pounds, I arrested him, going from the station to and fro, only for madam to be expressing sympathy towards the guy that he feels pity for him that hes arrested, but what about me that spent the money and stressing out to arrest the guy and going to and fro? Am i not human, am I not to be the one in the position of being sympathetic towards?

That woman is waiting for you to come there so she can ruin you finally.
I don't want to give advice cos that will work like magic but they are very brutal.
Tell her you are indebted as a result of financial issues and you can't fund her, you will see how she will treat you.

Ordinary UK wey she go, she don begin misbehave. Very unenlightened lady.

I only need to ask a question and everyone reading this should answer....why are the Arabs different then?

*Culture counts, just that Nigerians and some Africans, like pikin wey no see wealth before, throws caution to the wind and forget their roots...like mad fellow.

OdefaGirl:
Well, as I was discussing with my colleagues just this past week, these are some things we pointed out:

Women are not given listening ear here in Nigeria... let's say, they are always placed under the men here..... So, when they go over there and see how their system works, they are literally carried away with that and are ready to exercise that freedom which they feel is unreal. This makes them look power intoxicated.
Secondly, African men especially Nigerian loves submissiveness die.. they always want to be in control (that's our culture, am not against that... On the contrary I want my man to always be a man...be in control), but over there, it's not like that.... you share in the chores...no category of chores are specially assigned to a gender. This is what our men finds very very difficult to adapt to. It's like trampling on their "manhood" especially when they were the ones who brought over the woman.
Guys, that's a developed nation, your culture don't really count there.
Thirdly, some women sees that opportunity as a payback time, they just want to cross over there first.

My conclusion for general purpose..... Please adjust your mentality of the African men before going there. Don't treat women as slaves where you can do anything that pleases you.
.... I know that people change, but try to know your partner well....(what they are capable of and what not)
If you are the type that is your wives best friend, I don't see the reason why you guys won't have a blissful marriage over there.
Women, don't still forget your culture totally... make use of the women-power there when necessary, don't use it to destroy your home.

I believe that moving to a better country is for the wellbeing of the whole family which should be a dream accomplished.... Don't go there and mess it up.

tumababa:

At this point, you need to tripple the trust u av for her. Letting her go aline is the first mistake. She is probably getting her first freedom away from u and d kids for the first time after marriage. Just be preparing to go and settle down “yourself” in that country. You guys will be alright.

He should leave his business here and go sit down there with her simply because the foolish woman is stupid enough to be flirting around?

If he goes there, she will ruin him. Finish him totally. Na so poor people pikin dey do. Carry them comot, they will start displaying madness thinking they have arrived.

Guy, I am here with my wife and daughter and you need to drop some ideology in nigeria before you cross that border. After our rent which we paid 6 months to get an advantage and we went broke my wife got help from colleagues at school and I didn't even bother asking who because they already formed a community there. See, it's in 9ja that we remember our tribe o.

kbower:


According to the emboldened part of your post, how did I hand over the captain badge to her? By taking her abroad?

Boss it is the other way round, She is taking you Aboard. If she no request you, definitely you aren't going, or do you have admission also?
Like I said earlier , you simply hope...Getting help from strangers isn't even a bad thing , but she have to be detailed with it, and stop been secretive.
Personally I took mine there two years ago, it is a four years plan for me , fully under my care. I aren't there because I don't need it .So far I haven't seen any atom of disrespect tho.

Zeewirld:
..If your story is correct...These are what I think are wrong...
✓Your wife is naive
✓You guys have trust issues
✓You and your wife are almost age mates and still very young in marriage.
✓You are scared of your wife
✓I suspect that your wife has feelings for that guy and it's matter of time before she begin sleeping with him if she hasn't even started.
✓Your wife lacks respect for your person.

If I will advise you ehen.... I will suggest you stay back in Nigeria with the children unless you don't have any productive job here...I don't want to put ideas into your head but seems this guy is becoming a permanent fixture in your home....You need to watch it

When you see all those ads on Nairaland looking for story tellers and content writers, what do you think it’s for? 90 percent of stories on NL are fake stories written by paid writers to attract traffic…

If this is one of the few true stories here, then the guy is definitely lying. Na the woman be the breadwinner of the family and na she raise the money for the travel runs….

person dey gbensh OP wife he dey here dey write epistle of lamentation

I never been to London so I'll speak on the part of the world I know, seen and observed... Sex isn't cheap here, you can't get it easily as you can get it in Nigeria.. Do you guys remember how 1st year girls are rushed when they get into the university before they wisen up, it's same way.. Women who just came are targeted and rushed by people who has been there, this is to participate in numerous sexual encounters before they wisen up...

The greatest mistake a man can ever do is “ BE AT THE MERCY OF A WOMAN”.
Brace up and act like you don’t care what she does anymore. No matter how provoked you’re never raise your hand against her nor assault her that’s when you will have issues abroad.
All woman aren’t the same as I live abroad with my family too, whatever behavior your wife is displaying now was already in her even before she left Naija, abroad just exposed her.
Your wife no regard you shishi and she de use you catch cruise with strange man.

kbower

The first mistake you made was allowing her to be the student.

I pray and hope you don't regret that, sir. In this case sir she as all the power, if she divorce you, you are coming back to Nigeria.

Although not all girls are the same, but married men who have plan to go to the UK. I beg you in the name of whatever you worship go as the student and let your wife be a dependent. That way at least if she say she no do again, you will still be able to stay in the UK.

Let her work full time for that first year, if she is the type that will cause you problems in the future, you will see signs during that first year she is financially contributing more to the family. Although some of our women are great pretenders

Solution stay back in Nigeria with the children for a while.

Or go if the children are old enough, try and secure a job that can sponsor your visa as soon as possible. Then bring your children over as your dependant with your new visa

OkoAmarashy:


That woman is waiting for you to come there so she can ruin you finally.
I don't want to give advice cos they will work like magic but they are very brutal.
Tell her you are indebted as a result of financial issues and you can't fund her, you will see how she will treat you.

Ordinary UK wey she go, she don begin misbehave. Very unenlightened lady.

All these babes...no fvck with them oooo..their pvssy fit get them stay for uk oooo

U no hear story of guy man last week on instagram..wey send babe go abroad after baby reach 4 month to go stay till she born....babe remove belle marry another man with papers...ghost guy man for naija

Guy , your wife actions are suspicious to the max. Na promax sef. I am sorry to tell you this but I don't think you will last long with this woman when you meet her there. I even have the feeling that she is cheating on you. Not nessarily fucking but she is having outings with other guys. This guy in question is suspicious too. She has intentions for him too the worst part be say even the ones wey guys dey leave for naija , We Bleep their wives here pra pra. I swear I bleeped one that her husband left for UK. She was even on call while my dick was inside. I have always wanted to Bleep her. Na her ass I want Bleep pra pra when next we jam. Best flat mate ever.
Trust no women. Stamp your authority, don't fall for the hey I are insecure shit. Put her Whatsapp in your laptop, get to be checking her phone from here regularly. No loose guard..