Please I need advice concerning my life. I have two kids for two different fathers. My real love is the father of my first child. We lost contact after I discovered I'm pregnant for him immediately after our first degree. All efforts to get him back then proof abortive. I passed through the pain of pregnancy and birth alone but I have some one too that is disturbing me for marriage this time. When he discovered I'm pregnant for another person and I can't find him. He accepted to take me with the pregnancy despite the fact that his family members fought him seriously for dis. We both move on. After the birth of the baby after some few years I gave birth for him too. But I discovered he did not use to do anything for that my first child even school fees and buying of all things are always done by me and he sometimes use to abuse me with the issue. And later he stopped doing things for even his own child. That he is not even sure again if the two children are his. So I started working hard to train my children and stopped asking him for anything. But now I have been indebted in my business and I am owing much money that I'm dying every single day because of the disturbance from my creditors. And my first child is now in the university the burden is now much on me. Suddenly the father of my first child showed up that they asked him to look for me and do the needful for me that he has offended me. He said he is ready to take care of me and child because martially he has never been stable and did not have a child till today and he is already over 40years. I need your advice because as I am now I have developed high BP. But this my second husband said he will kill me and my child if I listen to him and he is not helping me. Even he is not helping me for his own daughter too. And we did not do any marriage,What will I do please I need help.

Just leave the irresponsible idiot and go for the man that will genuinely love you. Your second husband can do no jack. Everyone is entitled to a measure of happiness which your present partner is not ready to give you and your children. Ignore his empty threat and move on with your life. Note that if you are about forty now, you have leaved about half of your possible lifespan. You do not deserve to leave the rest of your short life in misery and pain.

Alaye go and meet your family members for advice, protection and support.

Secondly, did you say you didn't do any marriage with the second guy? So why calling him your second husband?

Also if you didn't do any marriage with the both of them, you seriously need to check this behaviour of opening legs here and there - sorry to say.

Na part of the consequences you dey deal with so.

Women should develop themselves, give in to the proposal of a man they've prayed about and studied to be a good man, get married and start to open leg.

I appreciate the both advice. Thanks so much. I know some blames will still come to me. But there are some mistakes that happened in life that use to be beyond us. I have discuss wt my family members too and they are ready to support my leaving him but the threat is my biggest fear all day and night.

Omo4jesus:
I appreciate the both advice. Thanks so much. I know some blames will still come to me. But there are some mistakes that happened in life that use to be beyond us. I have discuss wt my family members too and they are ready to support my leaving him but the threat is my biggest fear all day and night.

leaving him how?
Are you guys married?

This one hard ooo

The threat of an irresponsible man is what u are afraid of.

Madam elope with ur first lover jor....I hate irresponsible men so much that,i don't like reading anything about them.


Are u still waiting for him?

You’re scared of leaving someone you not legally married to? Are you kidding me rn?
Lol there’s something special about him you not telling us.

Omo4jesus:
Please I need advice concerning my life. I have two kids for two different fathers. My real love is the father of my first child. We lost contact after I discovered I'm pregnant for him immediately after our first degree. All efforts to get him back then proof abortive. I passed through the pain of pregnancy and birth alone but I have some one too that is disturbing me for marriage this time. When he discovered I'm pregnant for another person and I can't find him. He accepted to take me with the pregnancy despite the fact that his family members fought him seriously for dis. We both move on. After the birth of the baby after some few years I gave birth for him too. But I discovered he did not use to do anything for that my first child even school fees and buying of all things are always done by me and he sometimes use to abuse me with the issue. And later he stopped doing things for even his own child. That he is not even sure again if the two children are his. So I started working hard to train my children and stopped asking him for anything. But now I have been indebted in my business and I am owing much money that I'm dying every single day because of the disturbance from my creditors. And my first child is now in the university the burden is now much on me. Suddenly the father of my first child showed up that they asked him to look for me and do the needful for me that he has offended me. He said he is ready to take care of me and child because martially he has never been stable and did not have a child till today and he is already over 40years. I need your advice because as I am now I have developed high BP. But this my second husband said he will kill me and my child if I listen to him and he is not helping me. Even he is not helping me for his own daughter too. And we did not do any marriage,What will I do please I need help.

This is the time to mend your disorganized love life and birthing here and there

If you still love the first one go back to him but make sure he marry you properly

As for the present man you are staying with, if you know that you are tired of the relationship, pack out to where he can't trace you then your older man can go and perform your marriage rights amd pay your dowery and he becomes your husband

With time the second man will cope and move on too but you guys have to decide on where he can be seeing his daughter

Once you get settled down, start building all you left behind with your first man

It's because I am living with him presently that's was y I'm saying leave him.

Nemesis0147:
leaving him how?
Are you guys married?

Ok thanks for the advice

ibechris:
The threat of an irresponsible man is what u are afraid of.

Madam elope with ur first lover jor....I hate irresponsible men so much that,i don't like reading anything about them.


Are u still waiting for him?

The only fear I'm having that might look special here is what people that he will tell he was the one that accepted me with my pregnancy will think of me. Because they won't think to here my own side of the story before going about talking bad of me and I'm thinking of how to start out there again no job, no business again. Really I'm feed with a lot of confusion. But thank God I have a certificate I pray I will get a job no matter the salary just to have emotional rest.

PerfectStranger:
You’re scared of leaving someone you not legally married to? Are you kidding me rn?
Lol there’s something special about him you not telling us.

Thanks so much. I always love the first man, but as I am now I'm totally scared of living with a man again because I have never use a single day to enjoy affection in living with a man. If he will be taking care of his child I wish to be myself to get my life and health bad.

frozen70:


This is the time to mend your disorganized love life and birthing here and there

If you still love the first one go back to him but make sure he marry you properly

As for the present man you are staying with, if you know that you are tired of the relationship, pack out to where he can't trace you then your older man can go and perform your marriage rights amd pay your dowery and he becomes your husband

With time the second man will cope and move on too but you guys have to decide on where he can be seeing his daughter

Once you get settled down, start building all you left behind with your first man

With what he is saying I know he will marry properly. But a very big fear of being under a man is one thing I have now. I know him well he is not troublesome but life and people used to change. I'm scared

frozen70:


This is the time to mend your disorganized love life and birthing here and there

If you still love the first one go back to him but make sure he marry you properly

As for the present man you are staying with, if you know that you are tired of the relationship, pack out to where he can't trace you then your older man can go and perform your marriage rights amd pay your dowery and he becomes your husband

With time the second man will cope and move on too but you guys have to decide on where he can be seeing his daughter

Once you get settled down, start building all you left behind with your first man

Before u will go make sure the second husband write police statement that if anything happens to u, he should be held accountable

Omo4jesus:
Please I When he discovered I'm pregnant for another person and I can't find him. He accepted to take me with the pregnancy despite the fact that his family members fought him seriously for dis.

A man who accepted you in this condition and fought his family is a man who love you.
I will suggest you tell the other one to support his child from wherever he is.
Who knows if maybe, this 2nd man didn’t accept you, you might have long died from frustration.

You tagged him irresponsible bcoz you find a new man


You've been living with him for years and he doesn't take care of you or his child sounds unreal, you're just looking for validation.

U have a solution to ur problem, just satisfy ur instinct

You don't need any marriage from him now

Tell him to take care of his child
That should be his responsibilities now

The one you are living with now is your messiah

He took you in during trials and tribulations

Both men are bad for you. Don't go back to the fool at 40, and divorce the current one you're living it. You can survive without them.

Ok thanks.

nicerod:
Before u will go make sure the second husband write police statement that if anything happens to u, he should be held accountable

This was part of the reason y I stayed this long. But the emotional and lack of trust I have been passing through from his family and him is too much. The hatred his family has for me is killing me and he is not helping me out with his behaviour even at any of their family gathering I am always been disgraced.

Emarvel:

A man who accepted you in this condition and fought his family is a man who love you.
I will suggest you tell the other one to support his child from wherever he is.
Who knows if maybe, this 2nd man didn’t accept you, you might have long died from frustration.

I won't blame you for this statement I am the one that rightfully know where my shoe is paining me. I struggled to take care of myself and kids wen I see he is not helping me believe me or not.

obinna58:
You tagged him irresponsible bcoz you find a new man


You've been living with him for years and he doesn't take care of you or his child sounds unreal, you're just looking for validation.

Thanks for the advice.

zexy2030:
U have a solution to ur problem, just satisfy ur instinct

I don't need any marriage from the both. The Messiah that is killing me. I can't bear the pain any longer thanks.

Homeboiy:
You don't need any marriage from him now

Tell him to take care of his child
That should be his responsibilities now

The one you are living with now is your messiah

He took you in during trials and tribulations

Thanks so much. I have already concluded on this with my family member and that is what I will do. Thanks.

AndroidAI:
Both men are bad for you. Don't go back to the fool at 40, and divorce the current one you're living it. You can survive without them.

obinna58:
You tagged him irresponsible bcoz you find a new man


You've been living with him for years and he doesn't take care of you or his child sounds unreal, you're just looking for validation.

Honestly. these are my thoughts too.

I won't take her story at face value.

I'd like to hear from her second lover because this seems like giving a dog a bad name.

I don't want u all to fully believe me as u have said. If u wish to ask him questions too I don't care any avenue u feel to talk to me privately do it I will give u his contact but forget it. U can't know what I am going through only me.

Raalsalghul:


Honestly. these are my thoughts too.

I won't take her story at face value.

I'd like to hear from her second lover because this seems like giving a dog a bad name.

Do what will give you peace of mind. If you die of high BP the both men will live their life. Follow your mind and stop giving yourself unnecessarily stress. Most Women are really dieing in silence o

Thanks for your advice I will.

Pettycarol:
Do what will give you peace of mind. If you die of high BP the both men will live their life. Follow your mind and stop giving yourself unnecessarily stress. Most Women are really dieing in silence o