bokondogi:
Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?

Na story u dey find jooor

You have spoken like an elder.

chachanga:
Quarrel openly...

Get family, Church etc involved...

Make sure you have witnesses.

Don't accept her apologies privately. Cheating spouses and manipulative partners are most happy when they're able to take you through cycles of "private-hurt/private-apology" when caught because it hides their guilt, shame and lays foundation for them to continue. It makes them believe they can easily manage or handle you. You don't want to be handled by a manipulative narcissistic cheat.

Get marital counseling where necessary.... You'll be shocked what you'll hear. But committing to the process will yield great results for you.

Do what you can to re-spice your marriage after all your making up. Re-ignite your love, up your dicck game.

It's 2 and half decades of beautiful memories you've made together... Don't let teenagers here tell you to throw her away.

Firstcitizen:






OP, this is what you get on a forum like this. Childish comments. Seek a mature person to counsel you. It is not a deal breaker

Cheating is nt a deal breaker.... This is what u get from an infant

Op weigh ut options well

Firstcitizen:






OP, this is what you get on a forum like this. Childish comments. Seek a mature person to counsel you. It is not a deal breaker

mtcheew

bokondogi:
Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?

Seems she hasn't cheated yet but currently playing the scenario in her head. That will soon graduate to dream then finally physical.

Ransomware:


He is giving the adventure to the porn community

Na give then..

Family meeting loading

Tokskob2008:

Lol... looks like it's the mods that do create this monikers and stories then push it to the FP just to keep the forum lively otherwise I don't see why a woman who has been married for close to 25yrs will start sex chatting her old school mate/boyfriend who is probably in his 50s and even sending him money and gifts plus I'm sure her own first child will be around 20yrs or so.... It doesn't make sense honestly

exactly!! The moniker was even registered today.

immortalcrown:
More than two and half decades and your marriage is still like this?

This story is not complete. Show your wife this post and let her tell her side of the story. Then, I can say something. I say this because I wonder what led to your friend sending you porn, you that have spent more than 2 decades in marriage. This seems to be a case of a pot calling a kettle black.

He that comes to equity should come with clean hands.

God bless you. You spoken well.

Just send her packing. Even if the guy never chop her, las las, he go chop am.

bokondogi:
Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?

listen to me carefully. Throwing her out will be a bad mistake from you. Your wife was just enchanted by an excitement which she hasn't experienced for a long time in the marriage unfortunately, it came through a devil instead of you the husband. I beg of you to forgive her even with a stern warning but sometimes pamper her with kinky stuff, presents, weekend getaways and text messages like you guys are dating all over again. Take her out on dates with that special dress you bought for her. God bless you

Get her family involve and make sure she undertake before them that she won't maintain anyform of contact with that fellow or anyone else anymore.

Forgive her and reignite ur love affair.

But if she dare indulge in such embarrassing affairs any further, just divorce her and or send her back 2 her parents.

Not until a woman n pull

honestly, its painful... but if u can forgive her n forget n block the guy n move past it, that will be heavenly. Dont hurt her, i know u are raging. shalom.

Get her family involve and make sure she undertake before them that she won't maintain anyform of contact with that fellow or anyone else anymore.

Forgive her and reignite ur love affair.

But if she dare indulge in such embarrassing affairs any further, just divorce her and or send her back 2 her parents.

Not until a woman pull her clothes before a man then it's called cheating n or adultery. Once a woman start engaging in such conversation, she has committed adultery. Give her a stern warning.

Ransomware:


What are those witnesses supposed to do? help him marry his wife? what is the business of the church? help the wife repent? Common man. he should take his wife into the house alone, no external factor, no raising of voices and ask these simple questions:
What drove you to this
Is this the life you want going forward

Him as the man should be real and explain why a grown ass man will have friends that send him porn? It tells alot about his life style and the company you keep

I had to log in because of you.
The person you're throwing criticism at have the best advice thus far. Cheats I repeat married cheats don't like you publicing their actions. The thought of it will forever deter them from repeating it.
If a woman understand that you will cover her secrets, she feel emboldened to do more and knows fully well that she pocketed you.
Check the statistics, second time cheats are those that were forgiven, sins covered, and everything kept secret. While you will have fewer number for people that their children or elder or pastor or siblings etc were made aware of her mistakes. The thought of repeating it with the memory of people involved, will make them cringe.

It also serves as record for your next action if she doesn't desist.
Bros think am. Bedroom ko bedroom ni. There should always be consequences.

Divoc19:
Truly something is up these days o
Women that use to be patient in endurance with prayers.
They are now on the loose.
Thanks or no thanks to social media

Indeed no thanks to social media

bokondogi
Sincerely you need to keep this woman. I know it's a marital contract but for the fact that she admitted to this mistake and showed remorse should let you give her a second chance. My brother, I had a very similar experience as you but my ex denied the whole thing even with glaring evidence even after we broke up she was still denying the whole incident

If you don't take a drastic measures, I can bet you that your wifey would be Fuuuck very soon !

Invite Jesus the Prince o Peace into your life and marriage, He will surely restore peace to you and your wife.

Bro don't throw her away rather get a new phone for phone and new sim. And also call the guy to keep off from today. And warn your wife that any day such acts repeated its over.

TheRareGem1:
Two and half decades is such a long time. Try and manage the situation for the sake of your children. It hurts really but your wife is your wife.

Report her to her parents. If she persists with the unfaithful attitude, throw her out. She is a bad woman!

Tokskob2008:

Lol... looks like it's the mods that do create this monikers and stories then push it to the FP just to keep the forum lively otherwise I don't see why a woman who has been married for close to 25yrs will start sex chatting her old school mate/boyfriend who is probably in his 50s and even sending him money and gifts plus I'm sure her own first child will be around 20yrs or so.... It doesn't make sense honestly

It doesn't make sense to you but these things are happening.

In fact, married women who cheat the most fall into that category.

dhoncesar:



Let her family know. Old habits never die . she might be crushing on the guy sind sch days. Bro. Anything can happen at anytime. She can lie about her location and meet up with him and have a nice Bleep. And if God won catch u, she go get Belle And put it on u. Or contact STD while you treat her���. That specie can't be trusted . she turned you to FBI overnight ����. Let her family know what's happening before she provoke you and push you to the limit. The devil comes to do 3 things and I know u know it.....

I doubt a woman that has been married for 25 years will carry belle and put on the husband. Most likely she will be around the 45 to 50 age range.

Urheadmaster:


I fear men who no fear their wives





For men to think that women are only entitled to one prick after marriage for the rest of their lives is the most stupid things to think about

whereas men can't stay faithful.

Pls don't throw her out.

It is good she's owned up.

Let the chats end. And make her not to contact the guy again. She should block him.

All the best.

You want to throw a marriage of 25 years away simply because she wants to cheat or cheated?

Grow up bros

Dimples2022:
Ghost writers hitting FP in…

You might be right in this case but cheating like this one is very common in marriages. Husband and wife getting tired or bored of each other's bodies and deciding to look for a new spark outside the marriage, sometimes with old lovers

immortalcrown:
More than two and half decades and your marriage is still like this?

This story is not complete. Show your wife this post and let her tell her side of the story. Then, I can say something. I say this because I wonder what led to your friend sending you porn, you that have spent more than 2 decades in marriage. This seems to be a case of a pot calling a kettle black.

He that comes to equity should come with clean hands.

I need to see your medical certificate of mental fitness because you don't sound mentally sound.

bokondogi:
Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?

I understand how you are feeling right now, it's possible that man happened to be her weak point, probably a love from her youthful days which she had hoped to have something with but never did then, I know its not easy, but forgive her and reassure her of your love, re-invent your love life, guess she was tired and needed a spark, surprise her and I believe she won't go back

Godson4live:
Just send her packing. Even if the guy never chop her, las las, he go chop am.

So you're saying he should end a marriage of 25 years just like that?!

bokondogi:
Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?

If at all you are going to forgive for the sake of marriage... You have to make her regret her actions for a while before opening your arms back.

Otherwise, she will take you for granted now and always.

BoboKush:


Cheating is nt a deal breaker.... This is what u get from an infant

Op weigh ut options well

Too many juveniles on this forum. So flirting is cheating. Is there anywhere the OP mentioned she cheated. Na Se.un and cheap data I blame. Go roll tyre for street.

For once lets trade sides with women.
Over 25 years, this is the first flirting or semi cheating? she tried ooo
You Mr man tell us if you were faithful for the past 25years.

This is why the westerners either go inot open relationship or divorce.
She has been eating one meat for over 25 years..haba she wants a new challenge.