Ivynwa:


Don't listen to the people feeding it down your throat that you have spirit husband, spirit this and that, you don't sweetheart. You have not expired dearie, you are a beautiful woman. You may even live longer than these persons saying those to you and can still have all these that your heart desires soon to the surprise of all of them. May God grant you the desires of your hearts.

Ivynwa:

Okay, she shouldn't think, she should just do it right? If unhappiness sets in tomorrow and she opens another thread calling "Come people, what am I going to do about this my british passport-clinging husband that is making life miserable for me", another litany of advice and blames and mockings will start here.

claremont:

[b]The truth is harsh, but still, it must be told. Age doesn't matter for guys, an average guy is as old as he feels; but for ladies, age is a ticking time bomb, ignore it at your own peril. All those posters who are saying that a lady has no expiry date are totally wrong, even an elementary biology student knows that the fertility of a lady starts to wane drastically when she reaches her late 20's and beyond. A man on the other hand has absolutely no adverse issues with age so long as he maintains a basic level of physical fitness during his lifetime.

Let's call a spade what it is, rather than calling it a large kitchen utensil. The OP has made several bad decisions in her life which has brought her to the present scenario. If indeed she is really a human being (not a Nairaland ghost) and she is desperate to get married for the sole purposes of getting married and having kids, she has an advantage of having a British passport. She can pick and choose any of these miserable Nairaland random blokes dropping their email IDs and phone numbers on here, do this and get married "contractually" ASAP. Don't think, just do it; think about it when it's over! [/b]

sexsinners:

sorry dude but men too have an expiry date, it wouldn't seem right for a 60 year old guy to date a 20 something year old women,if tht happens she is there for  money only.Also we men cannot procreate for our whole life.  
don't forget we age too,we don't stay young forever,that's why  ppl stare down on 45 year old men who chase after small girls,and those girls who accept  are usually silly.You carry the last name in your family ,so it's a big must that you marry while u can still procreate.
i know the truth hurts.
ahahahah us nigerians we need to think godly,and a little bit modern. i like this lady a lot because she is godly, you on the other hand is satan.

sexsinners:

sorry dude but men too have an expiry date, it wouldn't seem right for a 60 year old guy to date a 20 something year old women,if tht happens she is there for  money only.Also we men cannot procreate for our whole life.  
don't forget we age too,we don't stay young forever,that's why  ppl stare down on 45 year old men who chase after small girls,and those girls who accept  are usually silly.You carry the last name in your family ,so it's a big must that you marry while u can still procreate.

i know the truth hurts.


ahahahah us nigerians we need to think godly,and a little bit modern. i like this lady a lot because she is godly, you on the other hand is satan.

claremont:

All your vituperations are totally wrong, which is expected more or less, coming from a religious goon like yourself. A man CAN procreate all through his life; a simple Google search would have revealed this to you, rather than opening your mouth as usual to emit bigoted and unsubstantiated drivel. As for this your comment; "you on the other hand is Satan", since this is not my usual religious section, I will let you off free with that phrase. It takes Satan himself to know his disciples!

r231:

says WHO

my 85yr old grand father has a 10yr old daughter and his last wife is younger than me

it happens everywhere so leave story

how old do you think all those big men that goes to pick up UNI girls are?

sexsinners:

i thought you did science and that is not true men also have a biological clock too. i just posted an article on it. this is not religion my frd this is your reality and my reality.
85? that is extremely rare my frd and silly  and SELFISH , when she is 20 he will be close to death and will not be able to  see his daughter marry or have kids.


men that go after uni girls are very selfish they should leave them for us younger good-looking 25 year olds that are more capable to communicate with them.Nobody wants to hangout with a old man, who doesn't know about music or celebs like they do yes girls age faster than guys but do you really expect a 20 year old girl to be  as mature as a 50 year old guy. heck no!!.

any guy that's too old for my sister will face my wrath.

sexsinners:

so if you would like to talk about a biological ticking clock to have babies, for women it's 35,for men it's 45. after that sex will be hard for you.

http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/news/20030626/male-biological-clock-ticking-too

in terms of marriage that's ageless, thanks to god we live in a world where anything an happen.

tina turner is like 50 something and still getting calls from guys.
jlo is like 42 and is still considered hot.

same thing for men like johnny dep age 48.

i am 25 now so i have time , but i will be marrying a women closer to my age ,not a little girl where i will feel guilty of taking her youth away, pregnancy is very hard.

r231:

Selfish ?

it happens everywhere and besides i neva told you his wife is 20. . . . . i said that i am older dan her so you have to knw my age first before jumping to conclusion

claremont:

[b]Hello, we are talking about procreation here (the ability to conceive), and I am saying that age is NOT a factor for males as far as PROCREATION is concerned. A 90 year old male still produces s-perm cells, which are perfectly capable of fertilising an egg produced by a 20 year old female. Let me highlight specific quotes from the same document you provided;

1.  Males- "It's always been said that men make Fluid every day, and women are born with all eggs they're going to have, so the effect of male age on fertility hasn't been perceived as a major issue"

2.  Females- "Overall, researchers found that age was the most significant factor that affected the time it took to conceive".

3. Females- "The study also showed that female age remained a strong contributing factor to infertility even after accounting for other factors such as frequency of intercourse and the age of the partner".

Moreover, as brilliant as this research sounds, I can bring you 1000 journals which specifically say that age has NO role to play as far as male fertility is concerned. For instance, this study >>>http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez/11303188?dopt=Abstract&holding=f1000,f1000m,isrctn<< drew these conclusions "Whereas male aging is associated with a significant decline in total Fluid count, this change is not reflected in a decreased fertilization rate or a decreased live birth rate".

Therefore, it is totally erroneous and downright misleading for any religious bigot to allude that age plays an equal role in defining fertility in both male and female sexes. Let the truth be told please![/b]

sexsinners:

yes age does have a role play in male biological clock, recently they have done research on, a 90 year old cannot  get a 20 year old pregnant easily and anyways what 20 year old in her right mind will find a 90 year old hot? or someone who is as old as their dad hot?
in my case you are suppose to be the one taking care of your babys , at 60 years u will find it hard,  trust me.
anyways what your saying is a myth and guys bodies do change lol
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7492323.stm
http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-male-biological-clock-its-tick-tick-ticking-too_1490614.bc
don't kid yourself satan.
btw i would like to see those articles

I have much more better things to do with my time, than argue with persons who use BBC and Babycenter articles to back up their inherent inability to reason outside their own narrow-minded box. You win, I loose, let's not derail this thread further!

claremont:

I have much more better things to do with my time, than argue with persons who use BBC and Babycenter articles to back up their inherent inability to reason outside their own narrow-minded box. You win, I loose, let's not derail this thread further!

Am sure you must have been getting lots of propositions from Nigerian men who never miss an opportunity

Adebisi33:

Wow!

It's taken me ages to read through all of your replies, and I'd like to thank everyone who contributed - even the people who made nasty comments, as I learned a lot from those too. 

Last night, I thought long and hard about what I was desperate for - was it a man or was it children?  I realised that I'm desperate for children and feel that I'm running out of reproductive years.  I had always held on to the belief that I should be married before having children, and as many of you have pointed out, I have enough resources to support children on my own.

So… I've decided to let go of that belief, and I'm going to find a fertility clinic that deals with single women, get some tests done to work out my chances of reproducing naturally.  I'll think about my options after I get my test results (Fluid donation, adoption etc.)

This morning, I went into work with an open mind, and realised that there were lots of men (single and divorced) that I had overlooked because they were white or asian.  Many of them are even senior to me at work and most far exceed my criteria. 

At work, there are lots of networking and social events.  I'm now going to view these as opportunities to meet eligible men!  I've also joined some dating sites, in the hopes of meeting a nice man.   Although I've opened my heart to you on this forum, I won't give any indication of desperation on these dates.  (This is one of the reasons I have not put my email address or photo on nairaland.com) 

Although I plan on going to Nigeria to visit relatives, I will not be looking for a husband there.   I have the distinct impression that a woman who is unmarried and childless at 40 isn't well-regarded in Nigeria, whereas in the UK, no one (amongst my professional friends and acquaintances) even notices, as many professionals get married late. 

Also, my aunt's advice wasn't right for me: I would never be happy with a man who was only interested in me for my British Passport.  I'd rather be a single parent than face the kinds of problems some of you have mentioned on the forum.

I won't be commenting further on this topic, but I'd like to thank the following people for their compassionate replies:

2buff
boobyman
toba
coogar
MRbrownJAY
sexsinners
soreola
tpacalipse
Cuddlemii
eGuerrilla
Alorauk
Egocent
Somagirl
aloy-emeka
NatGas
http
corona46
Columella
shegosay
Leffe2010
ZE
Ivynwa
freshera
ifedun2