Hi

I married a nice Nigerian woman and we have 3 beautiful kids together. But since we had the last child there have been no "magic" and both feelings and sex has disapeared.

I am grateful for the kids she gave me, but i am feeling lonely in the marriage. Even if we talked about it, there was only drama and no solution.

I need love in my life and the last 11 years its not been there. Maybe its time to move on, i dont know..

Im danish and we live in Europe so i dont know if this is typical Nigerian or if life could be better.....?

Uilday:
Hi, I married a nice Nigerian woman and we have 3 beautiful kids together. But since we had the last child there have been no "magic" and both feelings and sex has disapeared.
I am grateful for the kids she gave me, but i am feeling lonely in the marriage. Even if we talked about it, there was only drama and no solution.
I need love in my life and the last 11 years its not been there. Maybe its time to move on, i dont know.. Im danish and we live in Europe so i dont know if this is typical Nigerian or if life could be better.....?

Have you considered professional marriage counseling in order to help you both better understand why you feel lonely in your marriage and if and how you could get the magic back into it? These issues are typical in marriage— nothing Nigerian about any of that.

Who says the next wife will give you what you want o looking for.
Sit her down and tell her what you noticed or during sex you take the lead the postiaions or styles you love or want or ask her to give you like in the good old days.
I will want to agree with you but if she is not cheating on you or giving you problems try to make it work.
I think she really loves you. Why do I say so? I wont say now

Dear Op.

This is a natural human feeling you are having. Once a man or woman lives long enough and "conquers" the opposite sex,the flames and passion of love die out.

Then he looks for a new passion to conquer and afterwards, it dies off again. i.e after a few years in your new relationship, she may be the one to get tired of you.

This is because humans generally have no "loyalty" unless they train their soul to have one.

I have a patient who lost his first wife after having 5 kids to marry a new wife because he didn't want to be lonely. Now he is 65 and just recovered from stroke but the new young wife is demanding more sex. The man is on anti hypertensives that tend to reduce his libido.
I told him to choose between his life and pleasing the new wife...and if he loses his life, the new wife will move on to the next man.

Humans lack loyalty. Know this, know peace.

Uilday:
Hi

I married a nice Nigerian woman and we have 3 beautiful kids together. But since we had the last child there have been no "magic" and both feelings and sex has disapeared.

I am grateful for the kids she gave me, but i am feeling lonely in the marriage. Even if we talked about it, there was only drama and no solution.

I need love in my life and the last 11 years its not been there. Maybe its time to move on, i dont know..

Im danish and we live in Europe so i dont know if this is typical Nigerian or if life could be better.....?

Life happened to your both....but u both forgot Love does not have autopilot system....U will have to consciously nurture it...

Go out more, buy each other things, do role play.... sex style doesnt finish unless u are deliberately not willing...me i dont understand how pple say magic of sex disappeared....take a break..sex is not food...and come back into it with a refreshed intent to satisfy and have fun

Have sex in other places...go on road trip and fvck in hotels with fancy, nice smelling white sheets, fvck in the car, lobby, in the balcony.. get arrested for fvcking.....do something crazy...come on man....
.u are just creating unnecessary wants and looking for things u already have but ddnt nurtire in another woman......

.every relationship gets monotonous at some point....u will have to keep ignite the spark and keeping it alive....if u could survive 11 years with someone witbout any serious issues ..


. haba!!

You have solved 95% of your problems the moment you guys understand that Love doesn't exist. There is nothing like Love. Don't be deceived.

If you divorce your wife now hoping to find love else where, baba you're only wasting your time. The circle will continue. You go divorce, you go tire.

The reason you feel lonely is because you monopolized your dick to one woman. Women are created only for one purpose which is procreation, and we all know what happens before procreation could occur which is sex. That gender are only good for sex. They are sex object.

Fvck as many kpekus as possible and stop looking for what doesn't exist.

Kollins11:
You have solved 95% of your problems the moment you guys understand that Love doesn't exist. There is nothing like Love. Don't be deceived.

If you divorce your wife now hoping to find love else where, baba you're only wasting your time. The circle will continue. You go divorce, you go tire.

The reason you feel lonely is because you monopolized your dick to one woman. Women are created only for one purpose which is procreation, and we all know what happens before procreation could occur.

Fvck as many kpekus as possible and stop looking for what doesn't exist.

Bad advice, bad adviser.

have you two tried marriage counseling? try that first see if it will work out well or not and if it doesn't work out then you know you have tried your best, move on but remain supportive for your kids.

From the write up, you are Danish while your wife is Nigerian. Like already suggested you both as a couple should seek marriage counseling and go further to make sure the therapist is one grounded in multicultural counseling to avoid he/she being only Eurocentric in approaching your therapy sessions

Everything requires communication particularly so in marriage. Your sexual satisfaction is a right and her duty to perform in the marital union. If dialogue and counseling doesn't work, then you may need to file for divorce.