The math teacher saw that little SOCHI wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "SOCHI! What are 2 and 4 and 8 and 10?" Little SOCHI remembers TV channels and quickly replied, "CNN, NTA, AIT and the MBS!"

TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North Africa.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered Africa?
CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No, I'm John Okafor.

TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
ALFRED: I get up early and start.

TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not. HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.

GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher , snakes don't have feet.

HYGIENETEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is,
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right, "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: Max, use "defeat," "defense," and "detail" in a sentence.
MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail.

MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.

MATH TEACHER: If you received 100 from 100 people, what would you get?
JOHN: A new bike.

TEACHER: If you had one 20 NAIRA and you asked your father for another 20 NAIRA, how much money would you have?
VINCENT: 20 naira.
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father ,HE wont give me.

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!

BOY: Isn't the principal a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY: No.
GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.
BOY: And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY: Thank goodness!

TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

===
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
==

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday
sametime
==
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
and one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the
same at home.==


Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
=

Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did u copy his?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

==
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher

==

dheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehahhahhahahhaha puleeze dont get me fired!

U dis Sam Milla sef! Where r u from?

earth

oh dear,cudnt stop laughin,u r gud sam