So for a couple of years, there has been a trend of men who are about to get into relationships ask the prospective “girlfriend” “what she has to offer”, or “what she brings to the table”.

I see that a lot of women find this very offensive and other times even insulting and I’m curious as to why.

If you were to enter a serious relationship with someone, isn’t it worth discussing what both of you are offering the other, thing that you both could bring and build up on?

I mean, I believe women could also ask men the question too so everyone is clear about what they bring the table.

Everyone knows in relationships, women expect certain things from men, and men expect certain things from women too. Is it wrong to have this discussion with an adult you expect to spend the rest of your life with?


Many times, the women might not be earning much, so money wasn’t even much of an expectation, but what of other things?
Being a good steward and able to manage a home,
Good financial habits.
Big on loyalty, so I’d always have your back.
Having certain goals and aspirations and taking actionable steps towards them.

So many others that I can’t list off the top of my head, that isn’t related to money.

If a man meets a 20 something year old girl, he’s not
Expecting her to be rich, he does expect her to at least have a plan for her life and maybe a 10year/5 year plan or something mapped out for herself and consistently taking actionable steps towards it. He probably also expects her to bring a stable personality and Financially responsible mindset.

Not living in the moment and dreaming of fairy tales.

Nigerian women are very ambitious, a lot of women in low end jobs are taking ielts, applying for masters, leaving the country to other countries in search of a better life, some are running legit businesses and earning well while some are doing well for themselves in their careers, lawyers, doctors, bankers, engineers etc . They have their lives in order.


I’m wondering if these achieving/hardworking women also get offended by the “what do you bring to the table?” Question or welcome it, or is it only a subset of women that get offended and make it look like it’s all Nigerian women. It’s even an opportunity to express yourself and let the man feel lucky to be with you IMHO,

As a man, if I meet a girl I intend to be serious with, I’ll tell you what I plan to do for “us” the things I’d bring to our relationship to build on, the things I’m currently working on etc and I’ll also expect same from you.

Career, finances, feeding, different topics we could explore.

So my question is, What about the question is inherently offensive?


Mods please help a brother, I need answers

Nigerian girls left the group chat. That question gives them serious nightmare.

PerfectStranger:
Nigerian girls left the group chat. That question gives them serious nightmare.

Why ll you ask such in Nigeria?
I know it's sex you want.
But if it's at a professional interview, I ll answer based on job wey I dey look for. But 90% of time it has been asked, it's cos of sex. You men are so selfish!

Men could end global food crisis with their wealth if they could just stop simping

Sweetplum:

Why ll you ask such in Nigeria?
I know it's sex you want.
But if it's at a professional interview, I ll answer based on job wey I dey look for. But 90% of time it has been asked, it's cos of sex. You men are so selfish!

Why is it only used toto you know how to offer? You don give man money before wey e reject?

Sweetplum:

Why ll you ask such in Nigeria?
I know it's sex you want.
But if it's at a professional interview, I ll answer based on job wey I dey look for. But 90% of time it has been asked, it's cos of sex. You men are so selfish!

You see, all your thoughts revolves around sex. It’s high time you females realized real men don’t give af about sex but what you got to offer.

No be sex we go chop for marriage.

PerfectStranger:

You see, all your thoughts revolves around sex. It’s high time you females realized real men don’t give af about sex but what you got to offer.

No be sex we go chop for marriage.

Tah! Your brothers always ask for sex morning, noon n night as if sex is food!
We aren't thinking of sex, it's you guys that are sex oriented tat when you see a vulnerable girl, you kobaaa straight!
Some of you ll be prosecuted for non consensual sex soon.

Sweetplum:

Tah! Your brothers always ask for sex morning, noon n night as if sex is food!
We aren't thinking of sex, it's you guys that are sex oriented tat when you see a vulnerable girl, you kobaaa straight!
Some of you ll be prosecuted for non consensual sex soon.

If a man want a serious relationship with you, and you’re having these serious discussions and he’s asks you what you’re bringing to the table, would you be be offended?

Sweetplum:

Tah! Your brothers always ask for sex morning, noon n night as if sex is food!
We aren't thinking of sex, it's you guys that are sex oriented tat when you see a vulnerable girl, you kobaaa straight!
Some of you ll be prosecuted for non consensual sex soon.

I asked you question you ran away...I said you don offer man money before wey he reject?

Rayban25:


I asked you question you ran away...I said you don offer man money before wey he reject?

No. I v given money to males several time. Been feeding your fender since secondary school. And I ll still give tomorrow.

15thAccount:


If a man want a serious relationship with you, and you’re having these serious discussions and he’s asks you what you’re bringing to the table, would you be be offended?

I won't. Since he's asking professionally, I ll answer professionally. But if it's cos of sex, that man ll receive a hot slap!

Sweetplum:

No. I v given money to males several time. Been feeding your fender since secondary school. And I ll still give tomorrow.

Let's even say you gave...I'm sure the man paid you back and it's not compared to how often men give you money for free ...so why are making noise?....sex is only what you can offer just leave it at that

Rayban25:


Let's even say you gave...I'm sure the man paid you back and it's not compared to how often men give you money for free ...so why are making noise?....sex is only what you can offer just leave it at that

Ah. And na one mother born you this pikin o! Iya e de jiya lori e o!
Shey you no know say when a man gives a woman money and he doesn't ask for sex, he's seen as a hero?

Sweetplum:

Ah. And na one mother born you this pikin o! Iya e de jiya lori e o!
Shey you no know say when a man gives a woman money and he doesn't ask for sex, he's seen as a hero?

That your mother taught you how to exploit men dosent mean you should follow in her footsteps...your dad must have been very foolish to be exploited and it shows in your comments...change your ways

Rayban25:


That your mother taught you how to exploit men dosent mean you should follow in her footsteps...your dad must have been very foolish to be exploited and it shows in your comments...change your ways

My mom taught me well. Not to exploit but to be fair in life.
My dad is a very lucky man. He has a good wife n a wonderful daughter.
Can you boast about that?

Sweetplum:

My mom taught me well. Not to exploit but to be fair in life.
My dad is a very lucky man. He has a good wife n a wonderful daughter.
Can you boast about that?

Nairaland men dont agree with you

Senomie:
Men could end global food crisis with their wealth if they could just stop simping

Rayban25:


Nairaland men dont agree with you

Na you be their rep?
If so you should be impeached cos you are not nice

Sweetplum:

Ah. And na one mother born you this pikin o! Iya e de jiya lori e o!
Shey you no know say when a man gives a woman money and he doesn't ask for sex, he's seen as a hero?

Lol hero ... I guess we're saving your lots from starving to death ..



Men, you heard that..

We're heroes without super powers and capes

Sweetplum:

Why ll you ask such in Nigeria?
I know it's sex you want.
But if it's at a professional interview, I ll answer based on job wey I dey look for. But 90% of time it has been asked, it's cos of sex. You men are so selfish!

What are you bringing to the table is the question asked

Silentgroper:





Lol hero ... I guess we're saving your lots from starving to death ..



Men, you heard that..

We're heroes without super powers and capes

Like say women be vulture wey your dead body saved?
See boy, let me tell you what your sisters didn't tell you.
Give to females. Give as if you dey close your eyes. Don't ask for favours. Through it, you ll meet your soul mate & earn respect of many of us. We ll be calling you Boda Silentgroper.

Wait o, why your name come be like ra**** name like this? Make I japa!

Sweetplum:

Like say women be vulture wey your dead body saved?
See boy, let me tell you what your sisters didn't tell you.
Give to females. Give as if you dey close your eyes. Don't ask for favours. Through it, you ll meet your soul mate & earn respect of many of us. We ll be calling you Boda Silentgroper.

Wait o, why your name come be like ra**** name like this? Make I japa!

when same thing applies to the females too na ... Give and don't bother men for favours . Through it you'll earn the respect of many us and be able to keep many of us ...


Ra what ... Talk Wetin you wan talk na .. no fear

Silentgroper:
when same thing applies to the females too na ... Give and don't bother men for favours . Through it you'll earn the respect of many us and be able to keep many of us ...


Ra what ... Talk Wetin you wan talk na .. no fear

Your name is scary. Girls dittgive body anyhow

Sweetplum:

Like say women be vulture wey your dead body saved?
See boy, let me tell you what your sisters didn't tell you.
Give to females. Give as if you dey close your eyes. Don't ask for favours. Through it, you ll meet your soul mate & earn respect of many of us. We ll be calling you Boda Silentgroper.

Wait o, why your name come be like ra**** name like this? Make I japa!

See girl, let me tell you what your brothers didn't tell you.
Give sex to men. Give as if you dey close your eyes. Don't ask for favours. Through it, you ll meet your soul mate & earn respect of many of us. We ll be calling you sister sweetplum.

Sweetplum:

Your name is scary. Girls dittgive body anyhow

There's nothing scary about it . You girls do it the more sef

Sweetplum:

Tah! Your brothers always ask for sex morning, noon n night as if sex is food!
We aren't thinking of sex, it's you guys that are sex oriented tat when you see a vulnerable girl, you kobaaa straight!
Some of you ll be prosecuted for non consensual sex soon.

Lol what do you mean by kobaaa?

Silentgroper:



There's nothing scary about it . You girls do it the more sef

Dundun ni

Sweetplum:
Dundun ni

Sweetplum...sho dun bi oyin?? .. kin Sare gbe eh lo'le

Silentgroper:



Sweetplum...sho dun bi oyin?? .. kin Sare gbe eh lo'le

Gbemi trabaye ni

Sweetplum:

Gbemi trabaye ni

mo de fe gbe eh lo mo mom c ni oo ..

O ti fuvk up ba yen

Silentgroper:
mo de fe gbe eh lo mo mom c ni oo ..

O ti fuvk up ba yen

Fo cup ko, fo plate ni

Sweetplum:

Fo cup ko, fo plate ni

oya jia Jo lo traboski nigbayen...
Mi o where ooo