zim_dollar:

what's with long list of requirements, can you also choose your destiny? this ugly people you pass by daily do need love too no matter they are of your religion or not. religion teaches us not separate but love including our enemies. who is perfect in here?

Okay, noted. However, if I decided to love every Meg, Trish and Sally (No offence intended if you bear these names) I meet, I would be nothing but a slut. So, I am guided by my religion and principles. There will be no problem if you accept that.

macla, i'm not saying bed a (i can't say that word, kids watching). involve them in those practices and principles, if you overstood me. otherwise you're saying your religion is the only way to go and i can tell you thats not what it teaches you to do. dont throw stones.

bhusayor:

*smiles*, ok yeah I'm over 18 and I do understand that it prevents sinful acts as u stated, but I just don't see myself getting married,lol. I'm in my final year and even my project mate, an afar, as we usually call him once asked me what next after school and was surprised I dint say marriage. He also encouraged early marriage too and that further studies could be done in one's husband's house.I understood his points (same as u stated) but just laughed it off. He said he believs by the time I'm out of school n I get someone suitable, my orientation could change even befr service. He told me he knws parental factor could be a factor and I agreed. I can imagine my dad's attitude telling him I have a suitor and he wants to come and see you for to ask for my hand in marriage.

Parents, May God bless them, sometimes are responsible for their childrens misguidance in life. Sister if you find someone suitable and u genuinly want to get married , your dads reaction is the least of the probem as i see it. As long as there is a will , there is a way.


You  could speak to your dad about it  and most importantly pray about it. Your dad is a human controlled by the most high. Ask the most high who controls your dads heart to soften your dads heart , in order to accept your wish in life, so as to prevent you from doing acts that might diplease your lord, the most high. With faith and belief your mission will be accompished and you would look back and say ,"it was not that complicated was it?" Alhamdulilah your tounge would proclaim!

@bhusayor! U can neva tell. Probably your father is expecting you to bring a suitor home. Why don't you try it first instead of jumping into conclusions. It is good for a lady to marry early to avoid fornication. Why don't you give it a try. I rily admire u. I av an elder brother if you don't mind. Why don't you send me your e-mail so we can talk better.tanks

hayorbaami:

@bhusayor! U can neva tell. Probably your father is expecting you to bring a suitor home. Why don't you try it first instead of jumping into conclusions. It is good for a lady to marry early to avoid fornication. Why don't you give it a try. I rily admire u. I av an elder brother if you don't mind. Why don't you send me your e-mail so we can talk better.tanks

You obviously don't like her that much. Please, I need your help. I have sent a message on messenger. Thank you.

Salam all,

I've been following the thread from the start though i could not read post after post. all i can say is thumbs up to you people. (jazakunlah khairan)

whats marriage counselling like in Islam? Assuming one eventually meets with someone he/she is ready to marry, don't u think there should still be a form of marriage counselling. i've heard a lot of revelation during this kind of program from xtian friends.

masalam

blapo:

Salam all,

I've been following the thread from the start though i could not read post after post. all i can say is thumbs up to you people. (jazakunlah khairan)

whats marriage counselling like in Islam? Assuming one eventually meets with someone he/she is ready to marry, don't u think there should still be a form of marriage counselling. i've heard a lot of revelation during this kind of program from xtian friends.

masalam

Unfortunately these services are scarce for Muslim youths in Nigeria. The best you can do is read relevant books. There is this great one that I always pack as a gift to some newly-weds. I have forgotten the name embarrassingly though.

^^^^^^ i think i will need those books badly now, please try if u cud get the names. jazakunllah khaeran

I am truly sorry that I am not in a position to remember the name now. However, I am sure some other people will know them or other good books. You might not believe this, but this thread helps me relax in an otherwise busy state that I am in currently.

ALHAMDULILLAH! I have remembered the name: It is "Closer than a garment" It has part 1,2 & 3. The books are fantastic. There is another one from Iran. That one you should not wait for me to remember because it would take me awholata trouble and spare time is very scarce for me.

bhusayor:

@deols, I just followed you on twitter, buh wasnt able to send a personal msg, kindly follow back,

As regards contributing, I'm quite young for marriage,so I really dint see a point talkin about my man's qualities or mine, also, I'm not so knowledgeable about how issues like this should be done islamically, so I see this thread as a n avenue to to learn and get enlightened most especially because the active posters in here are learned n very intelligent.

I do visit this section very well and I know the active posters, and my admiration for you goes beyond initiating ds thread. I just contribute rarely.
Ma salam.

1,000 samu, cant run away from God.

bhusayor:

*smiles*, ok yeah I'm over 18 and I do understand that it prevents sinful acts as u stated, but I just don't see myself getting married,lol. I'm in my final year and even my project mate, an afar, as we usually call him once asked me what next after school and was surprised I dint say marriage. He also encouraged early marriage too and that further studies could be done in one's husband's house.I understood his points (same as u stated) but just laughed it off. He said he believs by the time I'm out of school n I get someone suitable, my orientation could change even befr service. He told me he knws parental factor could be a factor and I agreed. I can imagine my dad's attitude telling him I have a suitor and he wants to come and see you for to ask for my hand in marriage.

Gods time is always the best for everyone

hayorbaami:

@bhusayor! U can neva tell. Probably your father is expecting you to bring a suitor home. Why don't you try it first instead of jumping into conclusions. It is good for a lady to marry early to avoid fornication. Why don't you give it a try. I rily admire u. I av an elder brother if you don't mind. Why don't you send me your e-mail so we can talk better.tanks

Dont even try it

@maclatunji, thanks bro jazakunlahh khaeran, will look out for it.

amodu:

I salute the master-mind behind this (Deols), also the maturity and the knowledge some of the muslim brothers and sisters in here posses, its quite laudable.

I also want to say a shout-out to my NL Oldies and friend MUKINA, its quite a long time.

Mine is simple and specific.

She must be:

A practicing muslim with Islamic background
Beautiful
Committed, responsible, caring and jovial.

Though not ready but you never can tell because ALLAH The SUPREME BEING and The ALL-IN-ALL in His MAJESTY is unpredictable.

niceeeeeee

Iliveon:

My wants in a woman - 1. Religious (i.e understand Islam to some extent and can read the quran, if not, willing to learn) 2. Intelligent 3. Educated (at least a graduate) 4. MUST come from a good muslim home 5. Beautiful (eyes of the beholder) 6. Financially independent (working class) 7. Humorous 8. Not-quiet kind of person 9. Average height 10. I can still compromise some things

My offer - 1. Im religious (i.e understand Islam and perform Islamic obligations) 2. Humorous 3. Intelligent 4. Educated (2nd degree holder) 4. Financially stable 5. Handsome "facially" (though not too tall but not dwarf definitely) 6. Came from a muslim home 7. m caring and supportive 8. m person loving 9. Emotional (bad me). e-mail id lpinahmed@gmail.com

goood!

bhusayor:

@deols, I just followed you on twitter, buh wasnt able to send a personal msg, kindly follow back,

As regards contributing, I'm quite young for marriage,so I really dint see a point talkin about my man's qualities or mine, also, I'm not so knowledgeable about how issues like this should be done islamically, so I see this thread as a n avenue to to learn and get enlightened most especially because the active posters in here are learned n very intelligent.

I do visit this section very well and I know the active posters, and my admiration for you goes beyond initiating ds thread. I just contribute rarely.
Ma salam.

now following you!!

^^
me?

Lagosboy:


Sister , how young is too young. As long as you are over over 16/18 in this current envrionement i dont think you could be too young for marriage.  HEven here in the west the age of consent is 16 and you could get married at 16 with the consent of your parents and independently get married at the age of 18.

PErsonally , i dont believe education is a barrier to getting married as long as one can delay child birth for couple of years to finish ones studies. I have seen people do it successfully and it saves one from lots of sinful acts and prevent indecency.

And God knows best indeed.

You are so so right! But i tell u there are other factors, beyond our parents. I thnk my own dad wldnt mind but my mum wld av her fears nd eventually my wish would prevail. But again,many oda factors come in plus wat u hear of the experiences of pple wu av done ds is not encouraging nd is y many pple wait until after graduation. I belong to dat group too.

jay bee:

^^
me?

really??
ok! now

zim_dollar:

what's with long list of requirements, can you also choose your destiny? this ugly people you pass by daily do need love too no matter they are of your religion or not. religion teaches us not separate but love including our enemies. who is perfect in here?

u c someone as ugly and den marry them because?? u pity them that they might not av anyone to marry??. .that wld b d most unreasonable reason to marry.

those u see as ugly are good looking to others and may have qualities others value over beauty. So, ur point is actually no point.

blapo:

Salam all,

I've been following the thread from the start though i could not read post after post. all i can say is thumbs up to you people. (jazakunlah khairan)

whats marriage counselling like in Islam? Assuming one eventually meets with someone he/she is ready to marry, don't u think there should still be a form of marriage counselling. i've heard a lot of revelation during this kind of program from xtian friends.

masalam

I wish we can have counselings too. Muslim organisations should look into this. we need to learn more from experienced people.

maclatunji:

ALHAMDULILLAH! I have remembered the name: It is "Closer than a garment" It has part 1,2 & 3. The books are fantastic. There is another one from Iran. That one you should not wait for me to remember because it would take me awholata trouble and spare time is very scarce for me.

I know these books too. they are very good. But, I think each of the parts has a different title. and I think Al banna is the author

where u @ deols?
location

@blapo, dere re some organisation dat does marriage counselling. E.g nasfat. Also if you want to make use of university of ibadan mosque, you ve to partake in marriage counselling.

hayorbaami:

@blapo, dere re some organisation dat does marriage counselling. E.g nasfat. Also if you want to make use of university of ibadan mosque, you ve to partake in marriage counselling.

really never knew UI does that.

jay bee:

where u @ deols?
location

away from home . . y u wanna know

Just asking

ok

@deols! My sister did her Nikkah at U.I mosque. She and her husband did some counselling some months before the Nikkah.

hmmmm
still following this thread  & i dont want to miss out of all these intelligent muslimas in the house.
from (deols) that started this topic and all the Posters

This process is a long one
let this muslimah's post there Attributes so we can at lest visualise how they look.

(Deols) shld take the lead, let us know her attributes since she has a long list of the qualities she wants in a man.

there shld be a way of meeting and introducing interested brothers and sisters.
ma salam

Ok! think we can move on wv our discussion.

am hopping Lagosboy nd Zayhal wld talk more about courtship and what they think of my opinion on it.

Now, i really want to know to what extent Muslim guys take certain things. I have never seen a Nigerian(let alone Muslim one) open d car door for a lady(other than me). U know what, ladies feel respected by this.

In the whole of my life, only three guys av done ds for me. One is my brother(car door), a family friend who lived in d Uk and a christian boy who was into me (note, i ddnt date him).


Now guys, would you do this(1) for your lady  (2)even after marriage 



.

opening the car door is actually a western concept.

nothing wrong with it however, but not opening one shouldnt really be used as a measure of someone's character, imo.

i agree wv u its western. nd not a judge of xter. but would you do it??

deola, when i used to date back then, i treat my women with respect

Hmmm,let me see.She has to be good-looking without weave-ons,muslimah,intelligent,confident and humble.

About car door opening- It depends on my mood and context too. Do not put too much importance on it though. Confirmed players have mastered the art of flattering to deceive. My own approach is that you must see me for who I am (good and bad). No time to play games.

People who are not close to me may think all sorts of things about me. It is those that I care enough about and are close to me that will get the true concept of me. So even for a lady I am interested in, I may not do things just for the sole reason for her to get to like me for who I am not.

I may open the car door today and not open it tomorrow- that is just me.