Initially wanted to make this into a diary in the diary section, but I realized it would be a lonely experience if I am not getting any feedbacks, so I'll just post it here. To be honest, I need your feedbacks and moral support. This is going to be a very difficult journey and I need all the help I can get.

So yesterday I decided to quit violent pornography. It is the hardest decision that I have ever made in my life.

The term violent pornography might seem off-putting to you, but I will try to make you understand that I am not some crazy human being or some despicable pervert. I am actually a nice person, and as you get to know me you will see that. My only sin is being cursed with a fetish that is ruining my life. Luckily for me, I spotted this problem early enough. *coughs* - by early enough I mean after having spent over 10 years indulging in it.

DAY ONE

Yesterday was day one of my journey to quit violent pornography and the masturbation that usually follows afterwards. I think I should clarify what I mean by violent pornography. It is the kind that involves simulated murder scenes, usually by strangulation or gun shots. What this means is that women are paid to act like they are being killed, raped, harmed, etc. Believe it or not, there is a huge market for this, and lots of women willing to act in all sorts of roles.

I got into it as a young teenager. It was the first kind of pornography that I watched and actually enjoyed. My first experience was entering some site I cant remember its name and stumbling on a video of Nika Noire being strangled, undressed and fondled afterwards. Those that watch regular porn would know her. She is a tall Eastern European brunette with big fake tits. Her fake tits were what made me click on the video as a have an attraction for women with big boobs. I didn't even know what the videos was about until I did. That memory is still fresh in my head. I ejaculated 20 seconds into watching the video. The feeling was AMAZING!!!!

Since that day I have watched over 3000 of these sort of videos and have extensive knowledge on the different companies, models and websites that offer this sort of stuff.

A brief Overview

As I made the decision to quit this sort of pornography, I tried to make sure my last masturbation was going to be with one of my favorite videos. So I got out my hard drive, connected it to my PC and began to peruse through my folders. That was my first mistake.

I am OCD and I like to keep things arranged nicely. As a consequence, I have all my violent porn arranged in folders based on the company names. Again, believe it or not, there are over 30 different companies producing this sort of stuff, and each company tailors its videos and models to different interests.

For instance, there are companies like N-MAX and 2kill4 that only feature Chinese girls. Their videos involve murder and simulated sex or ragdoll play with the corpse, but there is zero nudity. I don't even think you can even consider this pornography. What I like about Asian actresses is how well they can play dead. They are by far the best at keeping death stares(perhaps its the anatomy of their eyes) but they are the absolute worst at any pre-death acting. For pre-death acting, the award goes to the white women, particularly the American models.

There are companies like DarkRooms that only feature Russian girls and usually involve gunshot and stabbing type murder amongst the models, that is, girls killing girls, which I like a lot, but they speak Russian 95% of the time which throws me off, and when they try to speak English to appeal to their English market, the accent is so heavy lol

There are companies like Velvet Fantasies that feature girl on girl stuff, but in a less realistic way, usually involving spies and clones. For instance the clones of a spy are hunted and killed by neck breaks and obviously fake gunshots without the blood. They also do some chloroform and knockout stuff at times. Not a fan of these though.
I like this company because the models are all hot and also because the owner of the company is the absolutely gorgeous, thick Jacquelyn velvets who started off working as a model for Annabelle's Fantasy many years ago and then Bluestones Silk before creating her own company.

Jacquelyn has been annoying lately cos she goes to sites where I usually download her videos for free and requests that all videos from her company be taken down. She expects everyone to purchase her videos from her online store. Lol. Imagine purchasing a 20 minute video for $25. Something I will download for free with 100mb.

Then there are companies like Psycho-thrillers, Peachy keen Films and Chris corner productions that do hyper-realistic videos mostly involving male on female violence, that if you stumbled on it for the first time, you'd think were real. My favorite videos are from these companies by the way. Not something I am proud of though.

My Final Masturbation

So back to my final jerk off two days ago. I had just downloaded a video of Coco being killed and raped post death from motherless and the erection I had watching it was so strong, I could hammer a nail into wood with it. If I was to name a woman that was wonderfully made, Coco is definitely the one. And I am not referring to just models or pornstars, like even celebrities and basically any woman you meet.

Coco's body is perfect; no fake boobs, no fake ass, everything natural. Not too big and not too small. It's funny Coco is the only name she goes by, perhaps to protect her privacy and personal info, and the only way you would find her is to go to sites like motherless and type "Coco strangle" or "Coco snuff" or "Coco necro"

What I like most about her though is the level of passion she puts into her acting. Girl can act, especially during the killing and afterwards. To be honest, I think girls like her have the reverse of my fetish, meaning they enjoy pretending to be killed and pretending to be dead. She has done over 30 different videos for 3 different companies, which is probably the most I have seen any model do, and she has been doing this for over 10 years. She is certainly not doing it for just the money. She really likes her job. I have seen other pornstars like Darla Crane, Liv Aguilera and Sadie Santana admit to enjoying acting these roles where they are strangled and killed. The aforementioned women are into the highest level of violent pornography and work exclusively with Psycho-thrillers; the Oga-Patapata

Anyway, the video of Coco wasn't saved to any folder yet cos I had just downloaded it. So I decided to check out some other videos first before coming back to hers, just as a warm up. Newer videos tend to be more arousing compared to the ones I had previously watched many times, or so I thought.

I entered the Folder titled PKF. This was another mistake. PKF or Peachy Keen Films are obsessed with making their videos as realistic as they can, and this can be quite off-putting for people who aren't into hardcore realistic stuff, but very enticing for people who want their videos as realistic as possible, eg yours truly. Their actresses are always handpicked and their makeup artistes probably work for hollywood because the gunshots, blood, skin decomposition features and strangle marks always look real. And the models always give believable performances. I have never seen any actress blink while playing dead with her eyes open.

All I did was click on the first video in the folder and I couldn't exit it. I betrayed my desire to use the newly downloaded Coco video and instead used some one-time actress who I didn't even know her name all because her murder scene looked so real and her acting look quite believable. The rest is history. I came in seconds.

Sent To The Trashbin

You must be wondering if I deleted all the videos from my hard drive? The answer to that question is Yes. I just did. I know I might not be feeling the regret now, but soon it will hit me like a bus and I will probably cry cos it took me years to find and store these videos. It's almost like a life time's work and it is the only kind of pornography that I enjoy. But to overcome this addiction, the videos had to go.

Although some of these videos do not exist on the internet anymore, or have been taken down by the companies for piracy, many of them are still on motherless, but I will fight any yearning to go to the site and watch or download them.

Into the Abyss

If you want a full list of the companies that are into this type of pornography, and samples of their videos in picture form, go to google and type "deadsexyclips," then enter the website.

But if you want to watch or download them, go to motherless dot com and search for "snuff" or "strangle" or "necro"

I must warn you, the things you will see can not be unseen. It's all simulated though. They are all actors and actresses and no one is actually hurt.

These videos will seem very boring to a lot of you, just like I find normal porn videos boring. One man's food is another man's poison I guess..

Day Two

Today is day two of my journey to leave violent pornography for good. I'm already starting to miss my videos. They were like my kids. They were the one asset I actually cherished because of how personal they were and how they've been with me since I was a teenager.

The problem now is that I don't have an alternative to violent pornography. I can't spend 15 seconds watching normal porn. It's so boring.

The longest I've ever gone without watching violent pornography is four days and I swear those were one of the worst four days of my life because I began to picture every woman I saw as if she was being killed. The porn helps me remain sane and it keeps my fetish under check.

Another alternative would be hiring a prostitute to lie down on the bed and pretend like she was dead with her eyes open, while I touched her and then bleeped her. But I doubt any Nigerian ashawo would be open to this. They'd probably think it is some money ritual thing lol.

Black women in general are very skeptical towards this subject and are generally not "sexually open-minded" for lack of a better phrase. I don't know if it's how God created them but the owner of Psycho-thrillers, one of the companies that do hard core murder pornography was actually a black guy, and when he was alive, he used to complain about how hard it was to convince his fellow black women to feature in his snuff videos.

This explains why the market for violent pornography is like only 5% black women which is very annoying for me because I prefer masturbating to a Black girl being killed than a white, Latino or Asian girl.

The most popular black girl in this industry is Jada Fire. She's done 6 videos for Psycho thrillers where she was killed and her acting was commendable. Sadie Santana and Kymora Lee are black women that also feature for psycho-thrillers. Sadie is half Indian and Kymora is half Asian so I don't know if I can actually classify them as fully black, but their skin tone is black sha so that helps.

Chris corner productions has a black girl named Freya who I like a lot, and Peachy keen films has three black girls working for them. There are few other black girls that work for lesser known companies but majority of the models are White women, followed closely by Latino women and then Asian women. Indian and Arab women are virtually non-existent in this terrain.

Average girls get more views

One important realization I've gotten from my 10 years of following and watching violent pornography is that average girls get more views than your typical beautiful model.

I'll give an example. There is this company called Choke Chamber that uses only white girls that you'd consider as an 8 or 9. These girls are usually tall, slim, and usually have fake tits and fake asses. Your typical Kim Kardashian type girls. These models usually are with makeup and nice clothes in their videos. Well, currently this company is out of production. And this is because they weren't getting as much purchases for their videos as they wanted.

The reason for this is that people like me who are interested in this kind of pornography actually prefer the average girls because they make the videos look more realistic and believable. There is something so appealing about naturally looking girls; the kind you'd normally meet on a daily basis and interact win out on the street or at work.

PKF studios is probably the most successful violent porn company and their most successful actresses are girls you'd consider 6 or 7.

There is this popular IndecentStar named Norah Nova. She is slim, short, no boobs, no ass, yet she has featured in more than 15 videos for Psycho-thrillers and for PKF. More features means more people are buying her videos. She once featured in a video with two other girls who wear conventionally more attractive than she is, but everyone liked her better.

op you just give me an idea of something else to jerk off to daily, tankwyu

Ff

After winning like 2 world cups and like 8 ballin d'or for indulging in porn,so you have finally decided to hang your boots?

No na, wetin go cor happen to all the trophies wey you attain during all those your years of active service?

The P List

For those of you that watch normal porn, this is a list of popular porn actresses that are into murder pornography and the companies they work for.

Krissy Lynn - Psycho-thrillers: over 10 videos. She's in my top 3 of all time. Amazing actress.

Aj Applegate - Psycho-thrillers
Britney Amber - Psycho-thrillers.
Jada Fire - Psycho-thrillers
Jennifer White - Psycho-thrillers
Richelle Ryan - Psycho-thrillers
Harmony Wonder - Psycho-thrillers
Anastasia lux - EnuffSnuff
Sienna Day - Psycho-thrillers
Natasha Nyce - Psycho-thrillers
Zoey Halloway - Psycho-thrillers
Rachel Steele - Her own company
Dani Jensen - Psycho-thrillers
Goldie Blair - Multiple companies.
Christie Stevens - Psycho-thriller
Daphne Rosen - PKF

The girls that work for Chris corner and Pkf and the host of other companies aren't mainstream models and they only do just this sort of pornography. Some of them aren't even pornstars and are more of nude actors who don't get bleeped on screen.

The earth pole shifted days ago!

Please stay clear off porn.

AbdulMagaji:
The earth pole shifted days ago!

Please stay clear off porn.

How does the earth pole shifting have anything to do with porn?

Sonnobax15:

After winning like 2 world cups and like 8 ballin d'or for indulging in porn,so you have finally decided to hang your boots?

No na, wetin go cor happen to all the trophies wey you attain during all those your years of active service?

Omo I gats quit. It's unhealthy. I will soon marry and I have to train my dick to like normal things. I don't want to be in a situation where I'll have to tell my wife to role play being killed so I can get erection.

Iloveu778:
op you just give me an idea of something else to jerk off to daily, tankwyu

Did you check out the videos? And you liked it? Which one did you watch?

NewManFred:


How does the earth pole shifting have anything to do with porn?

Even science observed that the earth core once stopped few days ago and now moving in reverse order.

The yearnings are starting. God help me. I'm very hungry for violent porn. I hope I will be able to control myself. Images of a Krissy Lynn video where she and her boyfriend murdered and raped his wife are currently flashes across my mind. The victim is a busty cute average looking Latino girl. It's one of my favorite videos and I REALLY want to watch it right now.

The title on motherless is " Three's a crowd"

Op, I am happy, u have decided to stop

Stop posting the website online, were u can see or download the violent porn,

Someone will start searching for it, based on the info u dropped here,

Don't promote it indirectly to the public, while u are trying to quit privately

Are you really sober or u want more audience to follow.

What u are sharing here; av never heard of it before.

If truely u need help, I pray you find peace within you to stop whatever it is you are into.

What do u do presently. Are you a student, employed, or just there....

You need to get busy

Foodqueen:
Are you really sober or u want more audience to follow.

What u are sharing here; av never heard of it before.

If truely u need help, I pray you find peace within you to stop whatever it is you are into.

What do u do presently. Are you a student, employed, or just there....

You need to get busy

I decided to create this thread because it serves as some sort of carthatic outlet, and sharing my journey with people helps me take it more seriously.

You don't need to know anything else about me other than what I choose to share.

And yes, I am sober. 48 hrs and I haven't watched violent porn or masturbated.

Fuçk, I just came across an episode of a popular tv show and there is a scene with a dead girl. And what's even more enticing is she dies with her eyes open and the camera man doesn't stop panning over her corpse like he is an instrument of the devil trying to lure me back into watching violent porn.

My dick is hard and it wants something: Probably some Victoria Lawson hardcore classic with a 10mins+ Strangulation scene with lots of struggling and flailing legs and blood oozing down her nose and tongue sliding out of her mouth..

FUÇK!!!!

I might have to avoid movies for now because I don't know when l might come across a murder scene involving a woman.

By the way Victoria Lawson is the greatest violent porn actress of all time. She'd give Hollywood actresses a run for their money. Whenever I need something strong and realistic, I use her videos. And right now I need something strong. FUÇK!

NewManFred:
Fuçk, I just came across an episode of a popular tv show and there is a scene with a dead girl. And what's even more enticing is she dies with her eyes open and the camera man doesn't stop panning over her corpse like he is an instrument of the devil trying to lure me back into watching violent porn.

My dick is hard and it wants something: Probably some Victoria Lawson hardcore classic with a 10mins+ Strangulation scene with lots of struggling and flailing legs and blood oozing down her nose and tongue sliding out of her mouth..

FUÇK!!!!

I might have to avoid movies now because I don't know when l come across a murder scene involving a woman.

By the way Victoria Lawson is the greatest violent porn actress of all time. She'd give Hollywood actresses a run for their money. Whenever I need something strong and realistic, I use her videos. And right now I need something strong. FUÇK!

Focus. You decided to quit follow it to the end. If you relapse it becomes harder to stop. I'm rooting for you bro

Meet Victoria Lawson. The greatest murder porn actress in history. I've seen over 3000 murder porn videos and I've watched over 300 different actresses. Victoria is by far the best. The amount of energy and seriousness that she puts in her roles is just exciting to watch. Watching her get killed is so believable, sometimes I have to check her breathing closely to see if she's still alive.

She grew up a shy quiet kid from a Christian home. Her dad was a strict religious father and didn't allow her go out to mingle with other kids. So she spent her time alone at home, reading her bible and focusing on her books; practically shielded from the world. Now look at her: An established porn star that has acted in over 10 different murder porn videos for psycho-thrillers and currently working on onlyfans.

Moral of the story: Train your children well, but it's up to them if they turn out bad. You can never force a child to be good. There will always be a balance of good and bad in the world.

I'm seriously craving her videos right now though. Please help me God.

Jesterinjay:
Focus. You decided to quit follow it to the end. If you relapse it becomes harder to stop. I'm rooting for you bro

Thanks. I've noticed writing about my feelings helps me put them in check.

You're gradually becoming a psychopath OP ... I don't mean to be insultive but I pray you find the help you need.

If you must truly stop porn, then you must learn how to kill the appetite and desire. Desire births appetite, and , the more you keep getting those flashes of the previous porn scenes you've seen, the more desire is ignited and conflict is stirred... All you need left is a trigger and you will keep recycling your misery for ever .

ErnestNc:
You're gradually becoming a psychopath OP ... I don't mean to be insultive but I pray you find the help you need.

If you must truly stop porn, then you must learn how to kill the appetite and desire. Desire births appetite, and , the more you keep getting those flashes of the previous porn scenes you've seen, the more desire is ingnited and conflict is stirred... All you need left is a trigger and you will keep recycling your misery for ever .

I'm gradually becoming a psychopath? This must be the dumbest thing I've read all weak. Psychopaths are born, not made. I wasn't a psychopath all these years I was indulging in violent porn, but suddenly I'm becoming one just after deciding to quit violent porn? Listen to yourself.

The flashes of previous scenes are normal. I'm handling it. The fact that I've gone over 48hrs without watching violent porn is enough to show I'm serious. You have no idea how tempting it is to go and have a little peek, but yet I'm restraining myself. Cut me some slack please..

Woah 😨😨😳 am never watching 😱 that

christianjoy:
Woah 😨😨😳 am never watching 😱 that

Lol. Not for the weak.

NewManFred:


Omo I gats quit. It's unhealthy. I will soon marry and I have to train my dick to like normal things. I don't want to be in a situation where I'll have to tell my wife to role play being killed so I can get erection.

Na now you go know the chains wey u dey into, u think say na mouth dem take dey quit abi??

Dey play 😂😂

Just to be clear, I'm abandoning two addictions. One is the addiction to violent pornography and the second is the addiction to masturbation.

The two are strongly linked, and to kill one, I have to kill the other.

Whenever I watch violent porn I usually feel like masturbating and whenever I feel horñy and want to masturbate, I usually use violent porn.

I could masturbate to a photo of some busty girl on Instagram or Twitter or a girl on my WhatsApp status but it won't be as enjoyable as with masturbating to violent porn, and honestly most of he time I'd be imagining her being killed and her lifeless body spread out on the floor.

Normal porn is boring. I can't even watch it even if you put it right in front of me. I won't even get hard. I don't know how you guys enjoy that shit.