https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYkRARMU/

Prolly cos i watched my parents, i didn't regard people, i didnt know how to give respect to people.....

Onmyrise:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYkRARMU/

Prolly cos i watched my parents, i didn't regard people, i didnt know how to give respect to people.....

Prolly cos i watched my parents, i didn't regard people, i didnt know how to give respect to people.

So these were..
I was very stubborn and highly opinionated
Thats the combination
And i loved to argue,
I could argue
Oh,you cant win me in an arguement.

And i was always offpoint
No matter what you are sayiing, i can't understand you, and i dont even wanna understand you.....

And these are things i grew up with, and i didn't even see it as a problem....

I think when i found out that i had a problem was when i met my husband.. Cos i didnt know i had a problem..
I thought i was good, and i loved to smile, it was only when u got close to me, that you would see anger cos if you met me, you would never know...

So its was when i met my husband, we went out for 5yrs..
In our going out, he starts to point out things .
I was like, what is it, i dont see it as a problem..
Cos when i was arguing, people used to hail me.. for my arguing skills..
So it was a apparemtly a strenght.
So, how do i now meet a man and he tells me its not a strength....
So its was terrible,.it was a lot to battle with.

By the time we got married, these things started to put a strain in our relationship..

It became so bad....
Cos the man i married was such an amazing Man,he is very peaceful, till date.
He doeent like problem, trouble.
While i came from a background that doesnt know what peace is..
..........
I could make him so upset, i didnt know the place i put him in..
Its now that i am into ministry that i know the place i put him in...
So imagine what i was doing, i think the devil was just using me at that point and these things were things that put a lot of strain.......
to the extent that my husband at a point stopped talking much to me.. He wld just be quiet.. I can say everything i wanna say, he would just be nodding his head..
And i didnt expect him to just nodd..
Cos i dont know the next thing i wld say and you would just flip...and i wont be able to control you....

Now the truth is that angry people most times when they do the things that they do..they dont even know what they are doing.. they dont remember, cos they do it in the heat of the moment of anger..
Its an emotion that is uncontrolled and cos you react based on that emotion, by the time you are calm, you tend to forget things you did in the heat of that outburst..So its the people that u offended or hurt..that can remember what you u did..

My husband had also reminded me of when i threw plates in the heat of anger..

And i can't believe i did that...asking him
"are you sure i did that"..

In Marriages, What is breaking homes today, are these little little things, as opposed to infidelity..
They look little..
Anger, being highly opinionated, being disrespectful, unforgiveness, etc..
These things are eating into homes..
Thats why u hear people say
irreconcilable differences.
People ask, i dont even know what happened in our marriage....
They cant pinpoint what happend..
Its those seemingly insignificant little things...

He was so patient, he took a lot from me..
God blessed me..
There were days i would slam the door at him...

Host cuts in:
I told my wife, whenever you are angry, please dont bang doors and yell..
Just come into the room quietly, so we can talk.. Our kids must never hear us bang doors at each other or yell or fight.
And it has been like that, We Thank God..
Our kids have never heard us yell or band doors.


Guest contunes:
Sometimes when we talk, and prolly its not going my way, and i have had enough..
I be like
Whatever wanna happen let it happen..
I walk out on him and slam the door..
He wld remain there, he wont come after me, he wont chase me, he wont raise his hands at me, he wont yell..
I didnt know any boundries, i made him suffer.
It was when i made him cry, i realized what i did was bad and i would go on my knees an begin to beg......... CPD