the solution is distance.. Dont try to force your wife to communicate with her.

Your wife and your mum inlaw seem to be good people. I am not sure I wont spark for my mum if she said such hurtful words to my wife, but then my mum respected me alot and knows where to draw the line.

If you consider it disrespectful to talk to your mum about her not-so-pleasant character, dont talk to her about it. just limit communication between her and your wife and inlaw. The distance will bring respect. If respect doesn't come, the distance will still bring peace of mind.
If you visit her and she talks about your wife, tell her you want to skip that particular discussion for the sake of your peace of mind.

All in all, pray for peace in your family and continually ask God to touch the heart of your mother. One day she will come back sober and try to make peace, accept her with all your heart and move on.

@Norah199

Luckily this is simply intertribal, not inter racial.

1. I felt bad for you when I read that the facet of your religious life was largely undefined. Why do you not attend the white garment church? You should define it to yourself and let your wife know. Your wife has met you in that facet and now has to deal with something she didn't need to deal with, when only with you

2. Your wife should be a part of you now. Run the risk of leaving the world first and whether she remarries. That's nonsense. Your Mum proves that your wife could have a son tomorrow and not remarry, should anything happen to you. You are your wife's only defence. Even before the phonecall incident, your wife should have been putting the phone on speaker. You ought to let your Mum understand that you will filter her calls

3. I actually said a prayer for you when I read that "vegetable" imbroglio. I mean, how did your Mum know? Who armed her? You know your Mum. You've known her. News like this aspersion cannot come from you to your Mum. Never.

4. You cannot have cheap peace. You must engage. The mental pressure is great. The skill required is a lot. Both your mothers shouldn't have been together after that painful delivery. Really. I felt there was enough history already, at that point. You have to start seeing "the evil from afar off" better.

5. When you have advanced on these, you can ask your wife for her terms for negotiation. Not for apology, but for negotiation. Know this first. Your Mum is already clear on her terms. Your Mum will not yield. Like someone pointed out, no one has so far been able to rein her in. That means you will reduce the chance of manipulation (sorry about that) by defined distancing. Some topics with her should be off limits or you put the phone on speaker with your wife. She must recognise that you will follow through.

You kept so much back (because I could pick gaps), but you need strength, brother. Your children cannot lose a grandmother after losing a loving and peaceful home.

Practice what u preach! All your msgs on dis platform is hate speech…… any small thing Yoruba must involve……. Kai better dis country and tribes goes their different ways cos I can see tribalism won’t end in Nigeria any time soon!

Lovelyn451:
I'm sure you're yoruba, it's normal. I don't know how igbo women mearried to yorba men cope with thefamily. Them go use tribalism kill you. Hate you for nothing. A woman with an only son that should be eager to have a grandchild I'd there being bitter for her dil

Afolue:
Your mum is seeking more attention. Not getting her involved as much as your mother in-law is where you made the mistake. Have you forgotten you hav married your wife into your family? And no more hers. Your mum should be the one doing what your mother in-law should be doing instead. Try and be sensitive!

How, please?? Abi you are reffering to a different culture? In which culture does the man's mother do omugwo?? Or I did not read well From what he wrote, the mother-in-law came for omugwo because the wife went into labor which eventually happens to be false. So, how exactly is that supposed to be his mother's responsibility? Omugwo can be shared among the 2 mothers based on understanding but the sole person responsible by culture is the woman's mother. So what exactly are you talking about??

fernandez1:
Practice what u preach! All your msgs on dis platform is hate speech…… any small thing Yoruba must involve……. Kai better dis country and tribes goes their different ways cos I can see tribalism won’t end in Nigeria any time soon!

na u Sabi, a Yoruba asking why his Yoruba mother hates his Igbo wife...lol see rhetorics, the answer is simple, because she's Igbo !...

Mindlog:


You never visit female prison before!

The OP's mother certainly do not genuinely love her son thus this thread.

Your children do not have to be your puppets, free your "hold" on them, let them live their own lives and stop being a helicopter hovering over them!

True

GboyegaD:


Not sure I can at this time.

anything sir, I really need the help pls sir

Alapogentle:
anything sir, I really need the help pls sir

My hands are tied on a few projects and that is the reason I can't promise at this time.

GboyegaD:


My hands are tied on a few projects and that is the reason I can't promise at this time.

okay sir some other time, thank you

FuckHomophobes congrats on your recent win, do giveaway give boys 🤝

Trendybit123:
FuckHomophobes congrats on your recent win, do giveaway give boys 🤝

Thanks boss. I don run am for my group already 💯😎😍

FuckHomophobes:


Thanks boss. I don run am for my group already 💯😎😍

Haba mana, we wey no dey group no go chop inside? 😳🤭

Norah199:

I don’t think you read clearly what I wrote there.
What do you mean distant my self? Maybe you should go back and read again but this time read to understand. Thanks

You know say, you don understand yourself and wahala na e cos you kariam come here come dey disgrace your generation abi?