What are ten things that make you Happy?
Ten? And I'm in this country. On Social Media, even
Ah! I wouldn't be here if I had up to ten things that made me happy. Okay, I might still visit occasionally, do some giveaways, and leave. Still, I would spend most of my time in beer parlors, clubs, resorts, art centers, museums, vacations, and, most importantly, brothels, where I would be happier.

I am here because I have no option, and according to a supposed wise man, "Half bread is still better than none."
Rather than isolating myself while wallowing in abject frustration and depression, I thought it better to ease up with content from Mr funny, Brain jotter, Nasboi, and Funnybros, and comments from aged long mad people on Yabaleft, Correct bro, and gistreel.
So it is also with 97% of the Nigerians in this space? If all things were equal, my Preek would have led the way while I follow, and to all brothel rooms, shall we go.

Unfortunately, life is tough. The average Nigerian has less than seven things that gladden his heart. And to be very much specific, an average Nigerian man is only grateful to God for five things. They are The gift of life, the gift of good health, the life of his wife, the life of his children, and the miracles he believes God will do in his life, which includes a visa and a trip out of this country.
The "A little below" average Nigerian is grateful only for four things: the gift of life, the gift of salvation, the gift of sound health, and the life of his loved ones.

The middle-class average Nigerian is grateful for three things: The grace to wake up this early morning, the grace to be among the living in the land of the living, and the grace not to hear anything evil news about his parents, siblings, and relatives (Because their death will cost money, not because he love them).

Then lastly, the low-below-average Nigerian is only grateful for two things: The death of one of his arc enemies and the sickness that will lead to the end of another of his rivals.
Yes, Dear diary, this is the kind of country I live in, and my case isn't different, and even if it is, I will not set myself up by mentioning ten reasons why my village people(Who I believe are reading this post) should k!ll me.

This diary will be on for the next thirty day. It will emphasize on the struggles and bustles of an Nigerian and answer the in-depth question we all have been asking.
Please follow along, like, comment and share.

What is the worst thing anyone ever told you that you could remember?
“Oga, nah you be the easiest customer way I done ever knack, in 25 years now”. These are the exact words of the sex worker (Ashawo). I had something in August 2022.

Dear diary, I have heard people say they admire my confidence, intelligence, and how I carry myself. And yes, I admire those qualities as well. I am one of the most confident, intelligent, and charismatic people I know, but I have one insecurity: this pendulum between my legs. This seed has refused to grow despite all my effort and several kinds of Agbo Jedi-Jedi I have taken.
I can’t say it is small (That will be me despising the days of little beginning, but bruhh, considering “How big” many guys have illustrated and painted theirs to be, this Preek should be ashamed of itself.

You will know I am ashamed of it when you see me entering deep down into a thick bush to urinate instead of the usual roadside where other normal males do. You will notice my insecurity when you see me commenting in defense of men with muster seeds. Oh! You might see such comments and think this is just me fighting internet trolls and body shamers, but nah bro, I commented out of grief, pain, and anger. I stopped when I noticed that many people were now seeing me for who I truly am “ A MAN OF LITTLE PREEK.”

Dear diary, my past 17 relationships, which didn’t work out, can be linked to this. My exes couldn’t cope. They could not understand why I differed from the average Nigerian guys who loved coitus more than their lives. They wondered why Instead of constantly begging for a taste of their honeypot, Ebuka would be preaching on avoiding “Sex before marriage,” and at first, most of them were cool with it, but after a while, they couldn’t again. So they run, block off my number and move on.

The last one I was in a relationship with for six months (My longest relationship) broke up in June 2022, despite all the pampering and money I spent to retain her. Gbola was of more importance to her. Her departure broke me entirely and made me depressed for over two months, after which I regained my composure and finally decided to give this sex thing a try.
But then I decided to try it with someone my secret, disability, and underperformance would be safe with; A sex worker (A prostitute ashawo or olosho) in Nigeria”.

Dear diary, my fears were finally confirmed. According to Ashawo’s review, I have realized that I am a man of insufficient sexual strength, and without being told, my sexual instrument is small”.

Rumors and false accusations are one thing that has become a part of my life. Like always! Always!

I have heard rumors of me being a thief. I have heard rumors of me being gay. Heard rumors and has been accused of having an evil spirit and being demon-possessed. Of recent, my neighbor's wife even accused me of wanting to break her marriage, all because I placed a bet with her husband, that if he could successfully woo and get this new girl in our block, I would gift him 10k. All these rumors and accusations don't shake me though.
I see them most times as prophecies. Even if I haven't stolen in my life, I cannot tell what the case will be tomorrow, after all, the only thing holding the sun and the moon is time. I simply wave off that nonsense and see them as words of fools and jobless idiots.

But all this strong-mindedness couldn't restrain my tears last week when I heard this new rumor about me being clingy.
Me? Clingy. That is "I don't give people breathing space". That is, I choke people with my presence.
Me?
Omo. That one entered.
What entered more was even the person that said it. Roseline, this girl that I like and have shown nothing but love and affection was the author of this gossip.
Franklin, a very good of mine was the person that brought this one to my notice.

Upon hearing this, I couldn't sleep that night. I kept rolling up, down, sideways, and center
Like, really?
Roseline said I am clingy? Me?

Clingy, just because I send her just one text per hour? What is wrong with wanting to know how someone you care about is doing?
I should be the one complaining because each text I send is about 4 Naira, calculate it times 24. But I won't complain because she isn't on social media. Texting is the only alternative.

Is it because I do call to ask her "Whether she has eaten" by 5 am every morning? That's caring, for goodness' sake. Why won't I care whether the woman I want to marry has eaten? What if hunger k! tells her before the day of our wedding? Who then becomes the mother of my kids?
Come o. Is this "clingy" because I usually leave my boring lecture classes to attend hers? Roseline, understand that I'm doing so because I love and want to be a part of your life. Because I love seeing your pretty face. And again, the lecturers in her department seem to be more intelligent than the ones in mine. Aside from the love aspect, I also learn there. While in mine, nothing commot

While I was thinking about all these, that night, my usual 2 am alarm rang, and as usual, I went outside my lodge and checked her corridor to see if she mistakenly left her door open, forgotten her clothes outside, or didn't sweep her veranda, so I can help her tidy up those mistakes