I hate my side chick. She’s so manipulative! I want to punch her right in her fūcking face. Sometimes I feel like I could just go ahead and kīll her!

She’s a jealous witch! Everytime we watch a movie or series she always thinks I’m undressing other women. Well, fūck her! Maybe if she lost some weight around her belly I wouldn’t have to look and UnCloth other women.

'Fūck, you’re getting fat, babe. Maybe you should stop shoving so much nshima down your throat.'

Not that I’d ever dare tell her that. Its best to lie at her face saying am OK with her being the chubby and continue ogling at other women with fine figures. And, I don’t know, is she really getting fat?

Honestly, it’s best to find an excuse if you’re tired of you a woman.

There’s no need to argue once you can defend something else. Something plausible.

So I’ll tell her that I was drunk and staring and undressing other girls, but not actually paying attention.

That’ll work. We always go off on tangents, anyways, so what’s it to her if I say I didn’t notice the lady with big boobs and the big ass but was instead thinking of a conversation I had with my patients.

'Eww, gross. You smell the sweat from your pūssy. You’ve barely even worked out, goddamnit.'

Lord knows I wouldn't dare say that. Like ever!

Damn, fūcking Chewe! Makes me laugh just thinking of her telling me how Andrew, her boyfriend, won’t fūck her anymore. He must be looking and undressing other bitches too.

I think I should cut all my ties with Chewe. She’s got a job as a Registered Nurse and has a cat to cuddle after the breakup; she’ll be fine. I just know she’ll cry and beg me not to leave her which kinda sucks to go through.

And honestly, I guess I can see why her boyfriend won’t fūck her anymore. Women are fūcking needy and it irritates the soul out of men, they act like they’d fūcking die when they feel starved of attention. Maybe that’s why the single ones get cats. They’re alike. Cats look proper and meow to appear all cute, but then they claw you with razor sharp claws when you least expect it.

Must be why dogs are man’s best friend. Loyal. Never questioning or manipulative.

Oh, Jesus Christ! My stomach really hurts right now. Like fūcking broken glass raking my insides.

Maybe the bathroom will help.

Damn. Am I an asshōle to just breakup Chewe without a reason after eating lunch at her place? Just because I’ve lost interest in her?

Fūck, my head feels hot again. And I’m seeing kinda blurry. The fūck did I eat again?

Nshima, beans and fresh fish. My favorite!

“Why do you always open the door when I’m taking a shit, Chewe?!”

“Oh, don’t worry, Yange. I won’t be long. When Andrew tried to leave me, I cried and cried. I don’t miss him anymore, for you I will.”

“You’re such a witch, Chewe!”

“Oh, but Yange, witches get things done. And you’re too much of an asshōle to realize I poisoned your beans. You see Yange, you’re really good in bed and I do enjoy our sex, but you’re such an asshōle. You want to leave me without so much of an explanation. So I prefer to still fūck you in your death.”

And though her words shook me, my mind is too fuzzled up to find a response. I feel myself slipping off the toilet bowl. I can feel the hard bathroom tiled floor absorbing my pain. My thoughts. My life.

Damn! I haven't even flushed or wiped my ass, let me hit Post before I die—

i dunno if this is real but
it is a real good read.

seriously, where is this from?