It all started one bright Tuesday morning as I was rushing to my office at Egbeda from Igando. I happened to sit beside this beautiful young lady. From her looks, if anyone had told me the real identity of who I was seated beside, I would never ever have believed. This lady looked plum, fair, fresh, sexy, and classy- but most of all, she looked young- like someone in her late twenties.

As the danfo we boarded took off shakily due to age, I adjusted a little to balance well as I was seated by the door with the conductor hanging beside me. But I was uncomfortable still even after all the adjustments I made. The funny thing though is that this discomfort for me was coming from within and not as a result of the rickety bus I was in. And guess what? It was all caused by this beautiful angel seated right beside me.

So after so much fear of possible rejection and so many back-and-forths with self-talk within me, I finally manned up and decided to start talking to her. No, I did not say hi first. I simply used the popular traffic situation on that axis to make my entry.

Shockingly, she responded quite well! I was excited and continued chatting with her till I got to my bus stop at Pipeline. Our conversation went so well that it was unbelievably easy for me to collect her number. Somehow, I noticed she was happy to meet me too.

But funny me still found it hard to reach out to her afterward. It took me three whole weeks after we met inside that bus to sum up the courage to call her. To my surprise, she was not offended at all. In fact, she just laughed it off and made me feel so free talking to her over the phone.

One thing sha led to the other from there and we started seeing each other often. Only for her to confess to me that she is a single mom of two boys. She is twenty-eight. I have grown to love her so much as she pampers me a lot. In fact, she even spends her money on me at times, buying me gifts I never asked for. She wants to finish me with love. Anytime I try to refuse her gifts, stating that I am the man and the one who is even supposed to be spending more on her, she will get offended so much so that she might even not talk to me for days. I do feel pity for her doing all these but she seems to love me even more than I love her.

After dating her for a little over a year now, she's saying she wants us to settle down together but I'm having serious concerns about settling down with her.

In fact, my friends do tell me that I have hit the jackpot of true love and I'm tempted to believe them myself, just that I have reservations about her being a single mom. Now, before you judge me, here are the reasons why I'm worried about agreeing to settle down with her:

1) What if she's been pretending all along just to get me to marry her? What if what she really wants is a man who will train and provide for her and her two sons, hence the reason for her submission and endless show of love… Also, why did her baby daddy leave her if she has been the good woman she's assuring me of being?
2) What if her baby daddy decides to return one day and have his way again? Won't I be the one to lose out in the end? Okafor’s law on my mind right now
3) She may never have true intimate connection with me in the long-run
4) And her sons, what if they grow up to hate me?
5) What if she's just using me to get back at her baby daddy? (To make him jealous)

Or is something wrong with me? Is this an opportunity of a lifetime I'm about to throw away just like that? I'm seriously bothered. Please advise a brother.

Run ooo talking from experience most of dem pretend to get what they want.

Besides have you heard her own side of the story what led to their separation.

SundayNightGist:
It all started one bright Tuesday morning as I was rushing to my office at Egbeda from Igando. I happened to seat beside this beautiful young lady. From her looks, if anyone had told me the real identity of who I was seated beside, I would never ever have believed. This lady looked plum, fair, fresh, sexy, and classy- but most of all, she looked young- like someone in her late twenties.

As the danfo we boarded took off shakily due to age, I adjusted a little to balance well as I was seated by the door with the conductor hanging beside me. But I was uncomfortable still even after all the adjustments I made. The funny thing though is that this discomfort for me was coming from within and not as a result of the rickety bus I was in. And guess what? It was all caused by this beautiful angel seated right beside me.

So after so much fear of possible rejection and so many back-and-forths with self-talk within me, I finally manned up and decided to start talking to her. No, I did not say hi first. I simply used the popular traffic situation on that axis to make my entry.

Shockingly, she responded quite well! I was excited and continued chatting with her till I got to my bus stop at Pipeline. Our conversation went so well that it was unbelievably easy for me to collect her number. Somehow, I noticed she was happy to meet me too.

But funny me still found it hard to reach out to her afterward. It took me three whole weeks after we met inside that bus to sum up the courage to call her. To my surprise, she was not offended at all. In fact, she just laughed it off and made me feel so free talking to her over the phone.

One thing sha led to the other from there and we started seeing each other often. Only for her to confess to me that she is a single mom of two boys. She is twenty-eight. I have grown to love her so much as she pampers me a lot. In fact, she even spends her money on me at times, buying me gifts I never asked for. She wants to finish me with love. Anytime I try to refuse her gifts, stating that I am the man and the one who is even supposed to be spending more on her, she will get offended so much so that she might even not talk to me for days. I do feel pity for her doing all these but she seems to love me even more than I love her.

After dating her for a little over a year now, she's saying she wants us to settle down together but I'm having serious concerns about settling down with her.

In fact, my friends do tell me that I have hit the jackpot of true love and I'm tempted to believe them myself, just that I have reservations about her being a single mom. Now, before you judge me, here are the reasons why I'm worried about agreeing to settle down with her:

1) What if she's been pretending all along just to get me to marry her? What if what she really wants is a man who will train and provide for her and her two sons, hence the reason for her submission and endless show of love… Also, why did her baby daddy leave her if she has been the good woman she's assuring me of being?
2) What if her baby daddy decides to return one day and have his way again? Won't I be the one to lose out in the end? Okafor’s law on my mind right now
3) She may never have true intimate connection with me in the long-run
4) And her sons, what if they grow up to hate me?
5) What if she's just using me to get back at her baby daddy? (To make him jealous)

Or is something wrong with me? Is this an opportunity of a lifetime I'm about to throw away just like that? I'm seriously bothered. Please advise a brother.

So this is the woman trying to kill you?
Don't you see you have lost all credibility?

You see those punch lines you reeled out yourself, nah the reason why u must flee. You are a young man for christ sake, start ur life on a clean slate with no other person's baggage. 🤔🤔

Run as fast as you can.

I once opened a popular thread about dating single mothers.
https://www.nairaland.com/6353049/what-ought-know-single-mothers

mrrandomguy:
Their kid(s) will always be number one priority and they don't hide this fact. FYI they will value the kids they have before meeting you more than the children they will have with you. You are only a means to an end. Marry them if and only if you already have kids.

lol you think she's doing all those things for free abi? have you ever heard of an animal called chameleon? how they can change suddenly due to the situation they find themselves? that's women for you...

she's doing all that to trap you, and you see those free gifts that's she's giving you and that your friends that's also decieving you that you've hit jackpot, when shit hit the fan, they won't be there to save you... if she was single and still young without any kids, I bet she will never go that length to impress you... free things like this have led men to their doom

why didn't the man that left her stay with her since she's all nice and faithful? have you bothered to ask about her past relationship? how do you even know if the kids are not from different fathers? see ehn flee... are you guys having sex already, I guess you are... if you are, another method of trapping you faster? don't carry another man baggage...

SundayNightGist:
It all started one bright Tuesday morning as I was rushing to my office at Egbeda from Igando. I happened to seat beside this beautiful young lady. From her looks, if anyone had told me the real identity of who I was seated beside, I would never ever have believed. This lady looked plum, fair, fresh, sexy, and classy- but most of all, she looked young- like someone in her late twenties.

As the danfo we boarded took off shakily due to age, I adjusted a little to balance well as I was seated by the door with the conductor hanging beside me. But I was uncomfortable still even after all the adjustments I made. The funny thing though is that this discomfort for me was coming from within and not as a result of the rickety bus I was in. And guess what? It was all caused by this beautiful angel seated right beside me.

So after so much fear of possible rejection and so many back-and-forths with self-talk within me, I finally manned up and decided to start talking to her. No, I did not say hi first. I simply used the popular traffic situation on that axis to make my entry.

Shockingly, she responded quite well! I was excited and continued chatting with her till I got to my bus stop at Pipeline. Our conversation went so well that it was unbelievably easy for me to collect her number. Somehow, I noticed she was happy to meet me too.

But funny me still found it hard to reach out to her afterward. It took me three whole weeks after we met inside that bus to sum up the courage to call her. To my surprise, she was not offended at all. In fact, she just laughed it off and made me feel so free talking to her over the phone.

One thing sha led to the other from there and we started seeing each other often. Only for her to confess to me that she is a single mom of two boys. She is twenty-eight. I have grown to love her so much as she pampers me a lot. In fact, she even spends her money on me at times, buying me gifts I never asked for. She wants to finish me with love. Anytime I try to refuse her gifts, stating that I am the man and the one who is even supposed to be spending more on her, she will get offended so much so that she might even not talk to me for days. I do feel pity for her doing all these but she seems to love me even more than I love her.

After dating her for a little over a year now, she's saying she wants us to settle down together but I'm having serious concerns about settling down with her.

In fact, my friends do tell me that I have hit the jackpot of true love and I'm tempted to believe them myself, just that I have reservations about her being a single mom. Now, before you judge me, here are the reasons why I'm worried about agreeing to settle down with her:

1) What if she's been pretending all along just to get me to marry her? What if what she really wants is a man who will train and provide for her and her two sons, hence the reason for her submission and endless show of love… Also, why did her baby daddy leave her if she has been the good woman she's assuring me of being?
2) What if her baby daddy decides to return one day and have his way again? Won't I be the one to lose out in the end? Okafor’s law on my mind right now
3) She may never have true intimate connection with me in the long-run
4) And her sons, what if they grow up to hate me?
5) What if she's just using me to get back at her baby daddy? (To make him jealous)

Or is something wrong with me? Is this an opportunity of a lifetime I'm about to throw away just like that? I'm seriously bothered. Please advise a brother.

Be very careful and vigilant over this, because the unexpected can strike unexpectedly.
Most importantly,pray over the issue.Don't be swayed by sentiment and end up with everlasting regrets.

When it involves single mother I don’t waste time to click and read from a mumu man

Ask yourself Had it been she’s not a single mother of 2, do you think you’ll get such treatment
She’s desperate to tie you down so that you’ll assume your responsibility duties, I’m sure while taking care of her the two kids will benefit with no thanks.


You dare not find a single woman treat you so nicely, impossible

Where did she get the money to be spending on you?

OP have you ever seen any football match that starts with 2 : 0? Dont allow the lady to run you on an aggregate of 2 : 0 when it's just you that will be on the losing end.

If she's so angelic then her baby daddy wouldn't have abandoned her.

What was the reason why she broke up with the father of her children?

@OP DONT BE A FOOL.U THINK THE BITCH WIL JUST SUMMIT HERSELF FOR YOU LIKE THAT FOR FREE BUYING GIFTS WITH HER MONEY WITHOUT WANTING SOMETIN IN RETURN U MUST BE A JOKER U BETTER RUN FROM UR DEAR LIFE IF NOT U GO REGRET LATER AN HATE URSEF.NEVER U MARRY SINGLE MOTHER.THEY ARE BITTER,HEARTLESS,SADIST,WAYWARD,OLOSHO.A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE

Op, after u marry her

Also remember she has 2 boys/sons

Ask yourself:

Do you think she may want to have more children after the marriage,

Considering pregnancy process she passed through, she may not want more children

She is simply looking for who to take care of her sons

I have nothing against single mothers...
I don't hate them...

But unless God Himself thunders from heaven, I'd rather be castrated than end up with them ...

And I can't advice anyone I know to go down that path ...

Marry her
Good woman are rare

You found one
Thank your ⭐

Hmmmm

Guy, you are a joker thinking you have found love. A mother of 2 boys ? You will soon fry! She knows with her status, it's very difficult to find a man to marry her talk more of a single man like you. That's why she over been nice to you. If she is that nice why did her husband left her ? I don't care what anybody will say, I want to tell you to run as far as your leg can carry you. No free lunch anywhere, not even in free town. That's why to catch a bush meat, hunter set trap with free food but the free food is what kill the bush meat. Don't waste your life, you only have one!

Marry her ... come and gist us after

I pray make u hook there... One month no do u oo na after a year and counting u won run. U go no where. U and her must settle down and u must raise those kids as urs even though the baby daddy go still apply Okafor's law steady on raw tip

If the baby daddy isn't dead, run for your life.

Hmmm! Omo meji toun tan.

Some men are born to cause problem while some men are born to chest it.

Op

Just keep it at dating level. If you want to marry, you can look for clean slate. But you could have sorted this out from the first time about the marriage aspect

Like someone said earlier, football match doesn't start from 2:0 among the teams/clubs

SundayNightGist:

Or is something wrong with me? Is this an opportunity of a lifetime I'm about to throw away just like that? I'm seriously bothered. Please advise a brother.

Bella kings don grab you

Pure nonsense

@OP:

https://www.nairaland.com/7166252/wahala-chaos-female-nature#113575657

One thing is certain, the father of those children will comeback one day.
That's when your emotional torture will commence...

And the 2 sons cannot serves 2masters At the same time. It is only one of either of the men they can call daddy at particular time.

Trying to make the boys to be cool with 2 Daddies will give them psychological trauma.

Na who get that fela picx RUN O?

If what led her to be a single mother isn’t something beyond her control like she was married before and her husband passed away or she was married and got divorced because of abuse etc then be very careful.

I still can’t wrap my head around why women would be complaining about niggas but then open their legs and have a baby with them out of wedlock.

Having a man’s child is the highest honour you can give him and as a woman being a single mother comes with so many disadvantages such as well read this thread. For all we know she could be a good woman but that stigma is there hence why you are apprehensive. So I don’t know why women risk it to give niggas kids free out of wedlock when you are the one at disadvantage.


Women will be complaining about not cooking or cleaning for no man that’s not their husband but will gladly open their legs wide and receive his seeds and give him a baby free of charge out of wedlock make it make sense.


Being a single mother is tough and should not be normalised (out of wedlock offcourse) and you have other women enabling them throwing babies showers when bi..tches get pregnant for these good for nothing dudes no what we need is to bring shame back so women can stop doing this to themselves. It doesn’t do you any good in the long run to be popping babies for these men free of charge without him putting a ring on it. It is absolutely unbelievable and doing it over and over again is what baffles me. Shouldn’t women be more smarter by now in this time of information to have Educated themselves enough to know if a man doesn’t commit fully to you aka marry you, stop giving them children just stop.

Ya all out here flipping the game on us, making men the prize giving them kids free of charge. What did that man give you in return other than his presence? The worst one is seeing 3 different women being baby mama for the same man fighting ove that man attention. Goodness gracious someone that couldn’t even give you his last name. Using your bodies and wombs and risking your lives to give children to men without marriage. My generation so damn lost.

Op, you’re a very wicked person. After you don sleep with her multiple times? After u don make her cum and lick her tow tow wifh your useless mouth ?

Una go Dey complain say good women scarce , God kon sugar your tea, he dash you complete package with 2 extra goodies , yet you’re complaining .
From her behavior can’t you see she’s a very good woman , can’t you see it’s her ex fault?. U better man up and do the needful and don’t forget to take good care of her two kids, you can even will your properties to them. .






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Didirin agba. Ob’efon labata, oyobe ti..

U go learn

pryme:


So this is the woman trying to kill you?
Don't you see you have lost all credibility?

Don't mind the OP.

Me thinks he's just complaining about raising someone else's children.

But, TF, this ancestor has taken care of a child from a single mother whom I just see as a friend.

But all the rest concerns can still be discussed and deliberated on...

The main problem I see with the OP is with raising someone else's children, what a small minded man .

SMH