Poster - Your husband made a big mistake. Computer scientist actually make more money than pharmacists and this will be the case for 100's of years to come because we are moving to computing...automation...cloud...robotics etc.

The best solution to this.....I tell you....is for your husband and yourself to call that child....and sit him down....and apologise for all the wrong doing you've done to him.

Your husband must apologise for denying him chance to study his chosen course....for calling thugs to beat him up.

If you don't do this....there can never be any reconciliation.

Then tell him you are willing to support him and let him decide what he wants to do next and support him in that decision.

But I don't think your husband will want to do the above. His ego will be in the way.

I feel sad for this boy and hope one day he won't turn to drugs.

If I were your son, I will just leave home one day and you'll never set your eyes on me. I will change my lines and travel out of the state. You caused this.

booksbo0k:
Sorry for the long write up my people, I need advice.

My first son has been behaving somehow in our family, as if he's not part of this family...
You and this boy can be in the same house but you might not set your eyes on him once for a whole day. He will be inside his room through out...

He has been telling me that he is currently working on going to rent his own place and live on his own and that if God helps him and he is able to achieve that, He will not have anything to do with our family again and that we will never set eyes on him ever again :[ ...

I would have not been bothered by such statement if it were coming from someone else, I would take it as a bluff. But this my son is someone that normally doesn't call people to check on them, not even us his parents..

When he was in his previous University before he dropped out, this boy can go for months, that is a whole semester stretch without calling anybody to know how you're doing, except you call him or maybe he wants to ask for money for something or school stuff....

We have five children and he is the first, the second and third children are away in University, he and the two last siblings are the only one's with us.. My husband refused him from going to University in a far place instead he gives him transport money to be going to his own University from home everyday...... He and his father don't even talk again except good morning greetings. He is only 21 ohh..

Let me give you guys small back story so that you can understand how all these things started.

My son graduated from secondary school (a boarding school) in 2017 at 16 years old... Initially, he said he wanted to study computer science as he said that was the course he loved and wanted to study. But my husband refused and persuaded him to study pharmacy because he worked at NAFDAC and he saw the way pharmacy graduates were living at his work place and the salary they were recieving. He and one of his chemist friend sweet talked him into going to study the course and I guess it was because he was young then and could not challenge his dad then that was why he gave in....

He wrote JAMB but he did not meet the cut of mark for pharmacy (but I later realised his score was good for computer science then)... No public University was willing to admit him for pharmacy then because his score was not good for the course but due to my husband love for the course and not wanting my son to lose admission that year , he decided to go the way of private University not minding their school fees...Long story cut short, my son got admitted into Madonna University where we were paying 1M naira every year.....After 3 years in the school and in 300L @18 years old, he began saying he was not interested in the school any longer, that he was tired of the course, that he's body is no longer in the school and blablabla that he wants to go and play football in Europe...

He came back for holiday during the beginning of covid and refused to go back to the school when they resumed, saying that he was only wasting our money by being in that school and he did not want to continue.....This got my husband really sad and angry....My son stayed home for almost two years doing nothing because my husband was adamant that if he would not go back to school, nothing for him, that all the money he has spent for school fees in that school can not be for waste that he can become a footballer after he graduates, saying no one can become a successful footballer without being a graduate, that it would later affect them in life...

But my son refused. I must confess, my son is extremely good at playing football. That was the talent i can confidently say that God personally gave to him from birth. Infact when he was graduating from secondary school, they gave him the award for the best graduating footballer and he was always the centre of attention anytime he plays at our church events. He friends used to call him "nima" then, I think...

I and my husband got tired of him staying at home for long so I went to meet with one pastor in our street who was based in the UK with his family but comes home sometimes for church related matters. I explained my son's situation to him and he offered to help my son travel out to chase his football career provided we have the funds for it. The man was secondary school class mates with "victor ikpe ekong" who was a former super eagles player but currently a pastor in Sweden. To my greatest surprise he called him on a WhatsApp video call in my presence and i was really surprised...He gave me the man's phone number to keep in contact and also scheduled a day to meet with my husband and have a discussion.. I told my son and he was very happy..I also told my husband and he was eager to meet with him at least, anything to solve my sons idleness at the time..

The pastor came to my our house on several occasions and discussed with my husband. My husband kept telling the pastor, saying he would like my son to be going to school while chasing his football career at the same time, a feat which pastor let us know would be difficult as one has to be dropped for the other. Unfortunately, my husband changed he's mind and said he was no longer interested in the whole footballer thing. He said he knew that my son wanted to become a footballer only because of girls. That he, my son knew that if he becomes a footballer, all the girls would like him, that that was the only reason he wanted to become a footballer, and that if football was his true destiny, he doesn't need to travel out for it to manifest, that he can be in Nigeria and make it from here.....That was how that chapter close like that. Pastor left for England few months after.....

After years of my son staying at home, my husband got tired. One night, he hired some Street thugs to come take my son away and beat him up...my son stayed with them for 2 weeks. When he returned, he said he was ready to go back to school. But my husband told him he won't be going back to any private University again. My son wrote jamb again to study computer science and was admitted into COOU. but my said he would not allow him go to any University that is not in the same state we are residing. Now the problem here was that all the public schools in the state we are staying will not accept you to study computer science unless you did chemistry in jamb. And my son did not do chemistry in jamb because he is not good in chemistry. If he was to study in the same state we were staying, he had to settle for another course, which he did...Now another problem arose. My husband refused to rent an apartment for my son around the school because the school is considerably far from our house, instead he decided to be giving him money (2000) everyday as transport fare to be going from home. This did not sit down well with my the boy and he again, said he was no longer interested in schooling again sef that he can't be going such far distance from home to the school everyday to study a Course he does not even like siting that it would be stressful and affect his academics and that it was unwise to be paying 60k a year as school fees while you spend 2k everyday as transport..My husband got angry and called on our estate CSO to come pick him up. They beat him so badly in public that when he got back home later in the evening, I went to check him in his room, his buttocks and back where scarred and red with huge marks...

Ever since, he has been going to the school from home and he has become very distant from us especially his dad. They don't talk again in the same house except "good morning sir"...

My son has turned into something else. He can stay indoors from morning till night. I would have said he has started keeping bad company but he does not even have a single friend, not one..Nobody calls him, and he doesn't call anybody...I have five children and he is the first. The second and third already gained admission this year in a private University and are in school currently, so he and he's last two siblings are the only one's with us now..

Why I'm writing this is because I'm scared..I'm beginning to fear that my son might commit suicide, he's beginning to show that kind of attitude.. And the plans he have to leave us forever to go and stay alone, I don't like it ohhhh...

Nairalanders please I need your advice.

I don’t know if you will see this, but if you do, please, it’s not too late for him to go to Europe and play football.


It’s also not too late to allow him study comp science in a private school.

You can rent an apartment for him without the knowledge of the dad and from there, finance how he’ll pursue his dreams.

Your husband is too proud and authoritarian

You guys should let the boy read whatsoever he wants,las las na for him pocket.If only you know how much I wasted in my time.LOL!!
Your son has done nothing na.
Your husband is just making the boy hardened.
Him no suppose use men drill that boy like that.
Because of how much na?!
I did worst than this after secondary school ohh...We were even the first set of students sent to Madonna university,Okija to study in 2001...Back then na pit toilets father Ede use build the hostels.
So it was a good excuse I used against my parents,not to just cope with the school system.My dad wanted me to be a doctor by all means...After 2yrs when he thought I wasn't interested in the school,he sent me abroad to study medicine but after 8yrs I came back to 9ja without a degree.
My parents no kill me,dem no drill me,dem only disown me but fair enough I grew out of my youthful exorbitants and learnt some life lessons because if not for excessive pompori and jollification I should have been able to study medicine and become a doctor te tey .My WAEC,JAMB,TOEFL,SAT were outstanding but as I go join bad gang begin smoke things and things my focus changed.
Well today,I have my Msc,a house,a car and living on my own by my own.
Make ona no kill the boy ohh.No be him own bad pass.
Let him go wherever and read whatsoever.
Na only him go see,pinch himself.

VTJN:
how did the father damaged him please. By not allowing him go to Europe to play football? Or telling him to study a professional course even in a private university? You don't know him more than his father. The man already said it that his son want to become footballer because of girls. That boy doesn't know the luck he has having a well to do father

The father was even telling him that he can become a footballer after school. What else does he want please?

You are making the mistakes our parents made that some of us are trying not to make with our kids now.

Having touts or estate beat up your son in public like a petty thief facing jungle justice is bad enough, not making him to pursue his person in IT is bad, giving hope of pursuing his football dreams and snapping it away from him at the tail end is insensitive.

I know you are a good wife and mother... But, Please, you are losing your son. Win him back before it is too late that is, if it is not already!

NeoWanZaeed:


You want him to do something to please his child and he can't afford to do it?

Please and please, learn to read through and through before commenting, don't put your father's effort to send you to school to shame. Thank you

booksbo0k
Your husband is a bad father and you also contributed to your Son's problem.

Let me explain.

You don't force a child to do what he has no interest in, especially through the use of force. He will hate you and the resentment will keep building till he does something very bad to either you people or himself.

Your husband beat him up TWICE and you allowed him. Your own son? What is wrong with you?

Now you are acting surprised that he has changed. How do you beat a child and tell him not to cry? How do you tell him to act normal when you are pushing him away from you?

Allow a child to choose his own career. But give him directions. NEVER impose your belief on the child, no matter how right you think you are.

If you don't want this boy to hate the both of you as he grows, start correcting your mistakes now and let him do WHAT HE HAS PASSION for even if it's Football.

You are his mother.
Correct it now.

The boy initially wanted to read computer science. Why didn't your husband let him be ? Is your husband saying that pharmacy is better than CS ?
That's where the whole problem started. I'm not sure about his footballing career at the moment cos 21 years of age is getting close to his prime.

booksbo0k:
Sorry for the long write up my people, I need advice.

My first son has been behaving somehow in our family, as if he's not part of this family...
You and this boy can be in the same house but you might not set your eyes on him once for a whole day. He will be inside his room through out...

He has been telling me that he is currently working on going to rent his own place and live on his own and that if God helps him and he is able to achieve that, He will not have anything to do with our family again and that we will never set eyes on him ever again :[ ...

I would have not been bothered by such statement if it were coming from someone else, I would take it as a bluff. But this my son is someone that normally doesn't call people to check on them, not even us his parents..

When he was in his previous University before he dropped out, this boy can go for months, that is a whole semester stretch without calling anybody to know how you're doing, except you call him or maybe he wants to ask for money for something or school stuff....

We have five children and he is the first, the second and third children are away in University, he and the two last siblings are the only one's with us.. My husband refused him from going to University in a far place instead he gives him transport money to be going to his own University from home everyday...... He and his father don't even talk again except good morning greetings. He is only 21 ohh..

Let me give you guys small back story so that you can understand how all these things started.

My son graduated from secondary school (a boarding school) in 2017 at 16 years old... Initially, he said he wanted to study computer science as he said that was the course he loved and wanted to study. But my husband refused and persuaded him to study pharmacy because he worked at NAFDAC and he saw the way pharmacy graduates were living at his work place and the salary they were recieving. He and one of his chemist friend sweet talked him into going to study the course and I guess it was because he was young then and could not challenge his dad then that was why he gave in....

He wrote JAMB but he did not meet the cut of mark for pharmacy (but I later realised his score was good for computer science then)... No public University was willing to admit him for pharmacy then because his score was not good for the course but due to my husband love for the course and not wanting my son to lose admission that year , he decided to go the way of private University not minding their school fees...Long story cut short, my son got admitted into Madonna University where we were paying 1M naira every year.....After 3 years in the school and in 300L @18 years old, he began saying he was not interested in the school any longer, that he was tired of the course, that he's body is no longer in the school and blablabla that he wants to go and play football in Europe...

He came back for holiday during the beginning of covid and refused to go back to the school when they resumed, saying that he was only wasting our money by being in that school and he did not want to continue.....This got my husband really sad and angry....My son stayed home for almost two years doing nothing because my husband was adamant that if he would not go back to school, nothing for him, that all the money he has spent for school fees in that school can not be for waste that he can become a footballer after he graduates, saying no one can become a successful footballer without being a graduate, that it would later affect them in life...

But my son refused. I must confess, my son is extremely good at playing football. That was the talent i can confidently say that God personally gave to him from birth. Infact when he was graduating from secondary school, they gave him the award for the best graduating footballer and he was always the centre of attention anytime he plays at our church events. He friends used to call him "nima" then, I think...

I and my husband got tired of him staying at home for long so I went to meet with one pastor in our street who was based in the UK with his family but comes home sometimes for church related matters. I explained my son's situation to him and he offered to help my son travel out to chase his football career provided we have the funds for it. The man was secondary school class mates with "victor ikpe ekong" who was a former super eagles player but currently a pastor in Sweden. To my greatest surprise he called him on a WhatsApp video call in my presence and i was really surprised...He gave me the man's phone number to keep in contact and also scheduled a day to meet with my husband and have a discussion.. I told my son and he was very happy..I also told my husband and he was eager to meet with him at least, anything to solve my sons idleness at the time..

The pastor came to my our house on several occasions and discussed with my husband. My husband kept telling the pastor, saying he would like my son to be going to school while chasing his football career at the same time, a feat which pastor let us know would be difficult as one has to be dropped for the other. Unfortunately, my husband changed he's mind and said he was no longer interested in the whole footballer thing. He said he knew that my son wanted to become a footballer only because of girls. That he, my son knew that if he becomes a footballer, all the girls would like him, that that was the only reason he wanted to become a footballer, and that if football was his true destiny, he doesn't need to travel out for it to manifest, that he can be in Nigeria and make it from here.....That was how that chapter close like that. Pastor left for England few months after.....

After years of my son staying at home, my husband got tired. One night, he hired some Street thugs to come take my son away and beat him up...my son stayed with them for 2 weeks. When he returned, he said he was ready to go back to school. But my husband told him he won't be going back to any private University again. My son wrote jamb again to study computer science and was admitted into COOU. but my said he would not allow him go to any University that is not in the same state we are residing. Now the problem here was that all the public schools in the state we are staying will not accept you to study computer science unless you did chemistry in jamb. And my son did not do chemistry in jamb because he is not good in chemistry. If he was to study in the same state we were staying, he had to settle for another course, which he did...Now another problem arose. My husband refused to rent an apartment for my son around the school because the school is considerably far from our house, instead he decided to be giving him money (2000) everyday as transport fare to be going from home. This did not sit down well with my the boy and he again, said he was no longer interested in schooling again sef that he can't be going such far distance from home to the school everyday to study a Course he does not even like siting that it would be stressful and affect his academics and that it was unwise to be paying 60k a year as school fees while you spend 2k everyday as transport..My husband got angry and called on our estate CSO to come pick him up. They beat him so badly in public that when he got back home later in the evening, I went to check him in his room, his buttocks and back where scarred and red with huge marks...

Ever since, he has been going to the school from home and he has become very distant from us especially his dad. They don't talk again in the same house except "good morning sir"...

My son has turned into something else. He can stay indoors from morning till night. I would have said he has started keeping bad company but he does not even have a single friend, not one..Nobody calls him, and he doesn't call anybody...I have five children and he is the first. The second and third already gained admission this year in a private University and are in school currently, so he and he's last two siblings are the only one's with us now..

Why I'm writing this is because I'm scared..I'm beginning to fear that my son might commit suicide, he's beginning to show that kind of attitude.. And the plans he have to leave us forever to go and stay alone, I don't like it ohhhh...

Nairalanders please I need your advice.

Don't tell me his name is David?

NeoWanZaeed:


You don't live with them. You don't know the full story

My comment is based on what the OP wrote and even that paints the picture of a broken man that has potentially lost a son to his own stupidity

phemmyfour:
O ti join bad gang
Te ba tun ra ìbon onike fún.... that's a bad toy.


In Da'grin's voice

Did you read the writeup at all?

Iliveforever:
I think you people started late with the iron hand.

Involve him in family activities like church (Sunday service, mid-week service, make him join maybe the usher or choir), sometimes knowingly ask him questions involving the family issues and seek his ideas even though you won’t be making use of it much, send him on family errands and try and make him in charge to boost his self esteem.

Las las you guys have to seriously pray

this cannot solve anything, a serious wrong was done to the kid, and the best way is for the parents to try an apologize and undo their wrong then you can talk about other things including religion, it's very shallow to just believe forcing him to church will solve anything, the boy has something to say, he has an opinion, he has grudges which are justified.

If only you guys allowed him study his choice course computer science all these would have been avoided.
His choice is one of the leading courses in the world right now and he would have still have a chance to work in Pharmaceutical Industry even as a Computer Scientist.

His Father decision to send boys to pick him up to beat him severally Has only resolved to destroying his self esteem and confidence, that boy is Traumatised believe him and you guys has forced him into Introverted lifestyle thus the reason why he looks forward to moving out and never coming back because he feels imprisoned inside that house.

You as the Mother it seems you played little role while your husband makes these life altering decisions.
It's not too late, seat that boy down and try to talk him out of introvercy because he is drowning deep down into the abyss of "what should be" this might alter his perception of reality and everything around him would seem like an Illusion.
Take out time to talk with your Son, take him out of the home and seat out in a comforting environ and speak/talk with him deeply. He needs a friend right about now, discuss with him as a home and he would reveal the deep secrets of his heart.

I bet you haven't asked him how he feels about all that has happened all these years, Remember if he studies Computer science or Pharmacy or Play Football it is HIS LIFE and he has a Say in it while you guys guide him in the right path to achieve his life goals.

Talk to that boy before it is too late.

Shalom

booksbo0k:
Sorry for the long write up my people, I need advice.

My first son has been behaving somehow in our family, as if he's not part of this family...
You and this boy can be in the same house but you might not set your eyes on him once for a whole day. He will be inside his room through out...

He has been telling me that he is currently working on going to rent his own place and live on his own and that if God helps him and he is able to achieve that, He will not have anything to do with our family again and that we will never set eyes on him ever again :[ ...

I would have not been bothered by such statement if it were coming from someone else, I would take it as a bluff. But this my son is someone that normally doesn't call people to check on them, not even us his parents..

When he was in his previous University before he dropped out, this boy can go for months, that is a whole semester stretch without calling anybody to know how you're doing, except you call him or maybe he wants to ask for money for something or school stuff....

We have five children and he is the first, the second and third children are away in University, he and the two last siblings are the only one's with us.. My husband refused him from going to University in a far place instead he gives him transport money to be going to his own University from home everyday...... He and his father don't even talk again except good morning greetings. He is only 21 ohh..

Let me give you guys small back story so that you can understand how all these things started.

My son graduated from secondary school (a boarding school) in 2017 at 16 years old... Initially, he said he wanted to study computer science as he said that was the course he loved and wanted to study. But my husband refused and persuaded him to study pharmacy because he worked at NAFDAC and he saw the way pharmacy graduates were living at his work place and the salary they were recieving. He and one of his chemist friend sweet talked him into going to study the course and I guess it was because he was young then and could not challenge his dad then that was why he gave in....

He wrote JAMB but he did not meet the cut of mark for pharmacy (but I later realised his score was good for computer science then)... No public University was willing to admit him for pharmacy then because his score was not good for the course but due to my husband love for the course and not wanting my son to lose admission that year , he decided to go the way of private University not minding their school fees...Long story cut short, my son got admitted into Madonna University where we were paying 1M naira every year.....After 3 years in the school and in 300L @18 years old, he began saying he was not interested in the school any longer, that he was tired of the course, that he's body is no longer in the school and blablabla that he wants to go and play football in Europe...

He came back for holiday during the beginning of covid and refused to go back to the school when they resumed, saying that he was only wasting our money by being in that school and he did not want to continue.....This got my husband really sad and angry....My son stayed home for almost two years doing nothing because my husband was adamant that if he would not go back to school, nothing for him, that all the money he has spent for school fees in that school can not be for waste that he can become a footballer after he graduates, saying no one can become a successful footballer without being a graduate, that it would later affect them in life...

But my son refused. I must confess, my son is extremely good at playing football. That was the talent i can confidently say that God personally gave to him from birth. Infact when he was graduating from secondary school, they gave him the award for the best graduating footballer and he was always the centre of attention anytime he plays at our church events. He friends used to call him "nima" then, I think...

I and my husband got tired of him staying at home for long so I went to meet with one pastor in our street who was based in the UK with his family but comes home sometimes for church related matters. I explained my son's situation to him and he offered to help my son travel out to chase his football career provided we have the funds for it. The man was secondary school class mates with "victor ikpe ekong" who was a former super eagles player but currently a pastor in Sweden. To my greatest surprise he called him on a WhatsApp video call in my presence and i was really surprised...He gave me the man's phone number to keep in contact and also scheduled a day to meet with my husband and have a discussion.. I told my son and he was very happy..I also told my husband and he was eager to meet with him at least, anything to solve my sons idleness at the time..

The pastor came to my our house on several occasions and discussed with my husband. My husband kept telling the pastor, saying he would like my son to be going to school while chasing his football career at the same time, a feat which pastor let us know would be difficult as one has to be dropped for the other. Unfortunately, my husband changed he's mind and said he was no longer interested in the whole footballer thing. He said he knew that my son wanted to become a footballer only because of girls. That he, my son knew that if he becomes a footballer, all the girls would like him, that that was the only reason he wanted to become a footballer, and that if football was his true destiny, he doesn't need to travel out for it to manifest, that he can be in Nigeria and make it from here.....That was how that chapter close like that. Pastor left for England few months after.....

After years of my son staying at home, my husband got tired. One night, he hired some Street thugs to come take my son away and beat him up...my son stayed with them for 2 weeks. When he returned, he said he was ready to go back to school. But my husband told him he won't be going back to any private University again. My son wrote jamb again to study computer science and was admitted into COOU. but my said he would not allow him go to any University that is not in the same state we are residing. Now the problem here was that all the public schools in the state we are staying will not accept you to study computer science unless you did chemistry in jamb. And my son did not do chemistry in jamb because he is not good in chemistry. If he was to study in the same state we were staying, he had to settle for another course, which he did...Now another problem arose. My husband refused to rent an apartment for my son around the school because the school is considerably far from our house, instead he decided to be giving him money (2000) everyday as transport fare to be going from home. This did not sit down well with my the boy and he again, said he was no longer interested in schooling again sef that he can't be going such far distance from home to the school everyday to study a Course he does not even like siting that it would be stressful and affect his academics and that it was unwise to be paying 60k a year as school fees while you spend 2k everyday as transport..My husband got angry and called on our estate CSO to come pick him up. They beat him so badly in public that when he got back home later in the evening, I went to check him in his room, his buttocks and back where scarred and red with huge marks...

Ever since, he has been going to the school from home and he has become very distant from us especially his dad. They don't talk again in the same house except "good morning sir"...

My son has turned into something else. He can stay indoors from morning till night. I would have said he has started keeping bad company but he does not even have a single friend, not one..Nobody calls him, and he doesn't call anybody...I have five children and he is the first. The second and third already gained admission this year in a private University and are in school currently, so he and he's last two siblings are the only one's with us now..

Why I'm writing this is because I'm scared..I'm beginning to fear that my son might commit suicide, he's beginning to show that kind of attitude.. And the plans he have to leave us forever to go and stay alone, I don't like it ohhhh...

Nairalanders please I need your advice.

9182736455O1999:

Did you read the writeup at all?

I am not responsible for your lack of comprehension

phemmyfour:
I am not responsible for your lack of comprehension

Sorry, I misquoted you.

Fiscus105:




I think he got the issue from boarding house.

Meanwhile, did he use to interact with outsiders?

I mean if u know any of his close friends or even girlfriends?

Bros, did you even read that thing you quoted?

It’s hurts to see a young promising boy like this going through this torture at a young age ….
First I think the main thing you should look at is have a discussion with your husband to stop look at the child’s like an investment and treat them like his responsibility and support him ….
The boy would never forgive him even you the mother when you pass away ….chase seems you don’t even have a say in what you want for your children and letting your husband taking every wrong decision and mess this young boy mental health….if he wants to play football help him to reach that height ….and leave school alone ….not everyone like school ….pick up the responsibility and fight for your first fruit….or else you would later regret it

dawnomike:
You are making the mistakes our parents made that some of us are trying not to make with our kids now.

Having touts or estate beat up your son in public like a petty thief facing jungle justice is bad enough, not making him to pursue his person in IT is bad, giving hope of pursuing his football dreams and snapping it away from him at the tail end is insensitive.

I know you are a good wife and mother... But, Please, you are losing your son. Win him back before it is too late that is, if it is not already!

the boy dropping out of school after spending millions on him is pretty bad. The boy is a spoilt brat. How come the father insisted that he'd be going to school from home spending 3k daily while his younger siblings live in school hostel? You don't know this boy more than his father. Besides, we haven't heard the father side of the story


I don't support the man using thug and security men beating up his son though. That's outrightly bad but i can tell you for free, that boy is a spoilt brat. His father know him too well to have insisted he goes to school from home spending excess money while his younger siblings live in school hostel peacefully

The man isn't a fool. He knows his son too well than you and i

As I was reading this I got very angry, you have been a very bad mother to your son. Your husband is ruining that poor boy's life with his dictatorship lifestyle.

You knew very your son has passion for computer science and football yet you allowed your husband imposed his archaic ideas on the boy.

This is the 21st century and everyone has the right to choose what they want to become, your duties as parents is to guide him on the path he has chosen to go and not imposing your ideologies on him.

That boy's self esteem has been damaged, his right to live as been tempered with, his sense of belonging to the family has been destroyed.

You need to communicate with that boy as a mother, the truth of the matter is that you have been a bad mother all this years. Allowing your husband emotionally and psychologically torture your son all these years is the height of wickedness, you know what your husband is doing is wrong yet you kept quiet, that's bad.

You better apologize to that son of your's and make things right.

[/b] ALLOW THE BOY FOLLOW HIS DREAMS [b]

This is not a plead it is a [/b]COMMAND [b]

humberjade:
Hmm

It is so unfortunate you stood back and watched your husband ruin the life of your first fruit. You have been too relaxed as a mother.

More like indifferent. She never mentioned anything she's ever done to support the boy or help him. She watched as thugs took her first born away for 2 whole weeks in her presence and did NOTHING!. She's just as complicit as the dad. I won't be surprised if she was the one suggesting these options to the dad

Fiscus105:




I think he got the issue from boarding house.

Meanwhile, did he use to interact with outsiders?

I mean if u know any of his close friends or even girlfriends?

Did you read the story at all?

This is a child who was not given the right to his choice of career.
How can a father impose his own choice of career on his child, not minding if the child likes that career choice or not.
It shouldn't be about we parents all the time, rather we should learn to reason with this children. They have a mind of their own,they are not robot for Christ sake.

That boy is even a good boy.
But I am afraid he won't remain so for too long.

You as the mother, do your best to redeem him right now while you can.
Don't just fold your arms a d watch your husband damage your son.

[i][/i]OP, that’s wickedness from your husband to your son... you people are forcing the young man to pursue is destiny,
Your husband need apologize to that young man for all the abuse he made that boy went through,
This is unbelievable, you are suffering this innocent boy...
You as a mother should step in at this time to protect him from your husband...

LadyExcellency:


You sound cultist? What the hell warranted this comment?

Please be aware parents get levels.

well, I'm not daft enough to play cultism with my life..
If you see the comment I replied to that person was talking out of touch with his reasoning.
Without regards for the young man's sanity.
And I just stated a very possible outcome based on what's written up there in the story of how the father has been handling the young man...
Now assuming you read the story completely you'll notice that the young man has been keeping to himself a lot...at this point nothing is impossible if the parents do not act quickly.
It's just facts, please do not take them another way.
Thank you LadyExcellency.

This Woman, are you disable or something.
Like you where there the whole time eating, merrying, sleeping and all. While your son (the Son you gave birth to) was being held hostage by thugs, beating and treating him in an unpleasant way?
In as much as the so called Father is evil and all, you have also failed as a Mother.
I was so angry reading the whole shit, and it makes me wonder if Emotional Inteligence is this scarce afterall.

TheRealOwner:


More like indifferent. She never mentioned anything she's ever done to support the boy or help him. She watched as thugs took her first born away for 2 whole weeks in her presence and did NOTHING!. She's just as complicit as the dad. I won't be surprised if she was the one suggesting these options to the dad

You are very right. At least now she's gradually coming back to her senses, albeit a little bit late. I hope for the boy's sake she does something concrete (not just trying to scratch the surface) to turn the tide. She's been a bad mother in that regard, in saner climes, the boy would by now be out of their custody and one of them would have become an ex-con for child abuse.

However, I also think she's either a full housewife, a timid wife, or a traditional wife who summits totally to her husband's orders without questions. Note that she mentioned she was the one who initiated the move to send the boy abroad for his footballing career.

nedekid:
Madam, unfortunately, most of the advice you will get here is from your son's age mates.
Most proper adults will not comment as they will be insulted.

oga mind your words and read the story

You people have already sent the boy to early depression... I'm sure the hate he has for you two will be more than the entire ocean in this plant earth.

If at 21, he's always indoors with no friends, he definitely would be scarred forever - that's if he doesn't muster the courage to attempt suicide.

Congratulations in turning a human being into a robot that you want to just do anything you want simply because you are the "parent."

Good luck to you all!

A tale of a father wanting his son to live (the father's dream)

You're actually correct. That's how introverts behave sometimes. He will learn

NeoWanZaeed:
He'll learn.

He's still young.

Keep advising him though..


Perhaps he's an introvert

JasonScoolari:
Mehn, this post long pass NairaBet slip...

I wish you guys all the best.

I couldn't read all

Caaz:

Oh pls just shut your loose if you don't have anything meaningful to say

You are the one supposed to shut up
How can a boy change dreams from computer science to football after spending 3 years in pharmacy school, does that child look normal to you
A sensible child will finish pharmacy school since he entered at a very young age, then go ahead to pursue his own dream career.
Everything the father did for that boy is out of pure love and nothing more
Who never trek Lagos sun find job go think say life na ferrytale

I have a question please:


Where were you and what role did you play when your husband was ruining your son's life?

Op which kind of husband you marry like this? Hope say im no get plan to join politics? Cos we fit wake up one morning con hear say BAT chop im own beating too.