Stats: 3,188,241 members, 7,934,072 topics. Date: Wednesday, 28 August 2024 at 05:12 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? (7246 Views)
My Boss Sacked Me Because Of This Nonsense / Infidelity: Two Kenyan Men Agree To Exchange Their Wives As Settlement / Guys When They Are Toasting you Vs Guys When You Agree To Date Them (2) (3) (4)
Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Queendera(f): 8:30pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Lately men are complaining. And seriously it's getting to me like never before. I try to wrap my head around certain things and just couldn't understand it. It's this issue of a wife working and not really contribute to the family. How can you as a wife be working and somehow still feels only your husband should shoulder all the responsibilitis? What exactly are you doing with your income if you are not spending it on your family? Is marriage not supposed to be partnership? It's one thing if the wife is not working but you are working and earning and yet only your husband is spending? And you as a man, you are actually stup*d to allow such nonsense from your wife. Gosh, some of you are so weak. Too weak I must say to give your wife such liberties. 65 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Neverslumber(f): 8:36pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Some men are just so weak before their wives, allowing their wives to control. Too bad. 29 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Nobody: 8:43pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
If this is the reality in many Nigerian homes we would have more beggars on the streets, more kids out of school, more women giving birth without complications, more men on faded clothes,more men without cars and houses, more angry men on streets. Perhaps this thread is for the Swahilis (the Bantu and Kenyans specifically ). 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Cutehector(m): 8:44pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Which match dey today abeg 8 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Nobody: 8:45pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Cutehector: Omo na chelsea Madrid oo...Chealsea don dey collect 15 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Kobojunkiee: 8:50pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Queendera:1. You are not looking at this from the right angle at all. ![]() This isn't a matter of weakness but inner conflict. Are Nigerian men ready to exist as partners in their marriage with their opinions carrying equal weight as that of their spouse? Are Nigerian men ready to also share the responsibility in other aspects of their union? Are they ready to let go of the Head-of-Household status that traditionally goes along with bearing 100% financial responsibility? Many of these men know that the moment they begin to share financial responsibility, they are likely to also share in cooking and other household chores in addition to losing their god-like status in marriage. Are Nigerian men ready for such a change? ![]() If a man is ok with being a partner, all he needs do is make that clear to the woman he marries in his marriage agreement with her, and they both go from there. ![]() 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Tallesty1(m): 8:56pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
I remember telling someone something similar one day. We were talking about how things should be in families where the couples are working and I kept adding "and the wife contributes financially to the running of the home" it annoyed her and she was like why do you keep saying that? I was like "If you want me to help you do stuffs because you are working too and I am the only one shouldering the financial responsibility then of what use is your job to me? The wife of my former landlord caught him cheating and made a scene, the side woman got her arrested and the husband refused to bail her. Her daughter bailed her out and she came home caused trouble. It escalated quickly and her brothers were invited, the woman narrated her own side of the story and when it was the man's turn he said ...... "It's been more than 3 years since I ate the food that was prepared by your sister[didn't say my wife]. She leaves home by 6am and returns by 10pm. All she knows is her business yet I am the one paying for everything down to her transport fare to her shop everyday." Her brothers were shocked, nobody knows where to start dey make peace. If you are working but cannot contribute because your money is yours then you are not working as far as I am concerned so you must do what other housewives do. 51 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Cutehector(m): 9:02pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Rayban25:correct... Chelsea fans suppose dey shed premium tears 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Nobody: 9:15pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Cutehector: We go start dey hear Lampard out now ![]() 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by advanceDNA: 9:18pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
The will come and call OP a man ![]() 9 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Nazgul: 9:20pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Tallesty1:I've said this before and I'll keep saying it. Most guys these days are just sissies. They can't make a stand against their women, some can't even correct their girlfriends. This is why in some marriages today, the husband must take permission from his wife before inviting a visitor. Note the visitor isn't sleeping over just an ordinary visit. For me I've made up my mind that if I happen to date any girl holding such believe, that relationship would never graduate to marriage, I'll make sure I end things there. 19 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by thesicilian: 9:25pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
For some men it mainly because of ego. They want to be able to brag that they're the ones doing everything. Then at the end it's either heart attack or untimely death. 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by dammyz101(m): 9:31pm On Apr 12, 2023 |
Queendera:if ur married yet, i will introduce u to my frnd. Person like u na wife material. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by ednut1(m): 2:19am On Apr 13, 2023 |
To me its rubbish. Alot of men want to form provider and head of the home. Account balance nothing, no property, just managing. Meanwhile the wife is using her own money to buy land and build houses. Alot of women bought houses land in ikorodu, ikotun, ayobo and the like that year without their husbands knowing. Men be smart. Once a woman is not comfortable spending her own money on you or her self don’t marry her 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Gerrard59(m): 2:39am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Kobojunkiee: This is the koko. Are the men prepared to partake in house chores? Are they OK with assertive and somewhat opinionated wives? Money gives people confidence and makes them bold and assertive. Are Nigerian men prepared for that? Because let's be honest, the moment she starts contributing financially to the household, she will demand a say in how things are run. The idea of siddon look and Agama-nodding to every idea and declaration by the man would fly out of the window. It is like a company. The moment you become a major shareholder, you begin to question the CEO on the moves he takes because you have a financial stake in the company even if he is more experienced than you are. Are our men prepared for that? Na why anytime una say women in the west contribute, I dey laugh. Una go fit be like western men? Una go fit allow una wives question you on things in the house? ![]() 9 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by ChybuzzDD(m): 2:58am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Gerrard59: Most Nigerian wives are already doing this and more even without contributing financially 15 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Gerrard59(m): 3:16am On Apr 13, 2023 |
ChybuzzDD: Then, that is the man's fault. But then, that is what marriage is all about if not both parties having a say in how things should be done? Both genders have to adjust as the concept of marriage has changed, unlike the previous century. Anyone who cannot change should be prepared for the consequences or remain single. Change is constant. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by madscientist88(m): 3:18am On Apr 13, 2023 |
thats why i insist on marrying a house wife,so i know your business ends at home,there are many ways to work from home,even in the past,you cant be working at a different place earning a salary and still contribute nothing ,that nullifies your job privileged,if i am 70% responsonsible for your upkeep then you should be 30% responsible for the families upkeep.i cant be paying house help, while all you do is go to work and come back exhausted for nothing, the way i was raised doing the dishes and pots has never been a problem,as a matter of fact i enjoy doing my stuffs,i feel more comfortable that way.im a self sufficient man,so!?a little house chores wont k!ll you,you only need to do my laundry if ive not done them,if you are the last to leave the dining area, parlour, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and toilet then its your responsibility to make sure everything is in order before you leave, responsibility is about looking out for and after things thats why.so if you work and i work ,you find out stuff you can handle with a little money exists at home then take care of it if should find out you are negligent and irresponsible? off you go!.as simple as that . 5 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Rokiat(f): 3:21am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Because those men are actually smart and understand how a woman’s brain works. The moment a woman start contributing in the house she will now think she’s the leader of the home. Her respect for her husband will start to diminish this is just fact. That is why a true masculine guy don’t care for a woman’s money what he want is a woman that will bring value to his home because when you as a man become too lazy as to depend on a woman to help you run your household financially one of two things happens 1 She lost total respect for you because now she feel she don’t actually need you. She will start undermining you, talking to you any kind of way thinking you both wear the pants in that relationship. Some men think they can cheat the system and just married and lash on a woman. I laugh ![]() 2 She wouldn’t be able to pour into her house, her marriage, her children, and herself as she should because she will be spending more hours at work trying to help you contribute to the household it’s just impossible that she will give 100% to her home as she’s supposed to. This is why women don’t naturally make good leaders because they can’t do it all be a homemaker and then go to work and be a leader. That is why they become emotional in those leadership roles because they are overwhelmed. Don’t argue with me argue with your keypad. A woman’s achievement and money don’t mean Shi..t to a real masculine man because he don’t need it. That don’t mean Shi..t to them. An uneducated woman who’s broke and never been to college don’t work but can cook, have good nurturing skills, a good mother, fine as hell, good in bed, will always get the better man than a woman who’s hella accomplished and is totally out of touch with her womanly side and roles. You can’t cheat divine order. This whole switching of roles is the number one issues in relationships today. That is why the west most of them have the highest divorce rate and hella unhappy in their relationships. 12 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by zedegit: 4:13am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Kobojunkiee: Your username fits you well. KoboJunky. A man is the head in the family while a wife is a helpmate: financial helpmate inclusive. A man doesn't have to cook or change diapers before you assist him financially in some areas in the home. Assume feeding money is #25 k monthly. If he brings #20k, bringing #5 k shouldn't be hard for you unless you're a liability. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Kobojunkie: 4:15am On Apr 13, 2023 |
zedegit:Those are silly stories/delusions you feed yourselves to make you feel good about what is obviously ridiculous. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Smartguyboy(m): 4:20am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Kobojunkiee:If a married woman is supporting her husband with 20-30% of her salary is not a bad idea after all she’s not giving the money the woman just to support the family in her own little way. If your wife can’t support you she doesn’t love you I mean where is the love ? 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Kobojunkie: 4:33am On Apr 13, 2023 |
ChybuzzDD:1. That is easy to explain. In your traditional marriages, what you don't realize is that you are in fact buying your wife's submission, and the cost of that submission increases with each year of the marriage, and rightly so. In much the same way you don't expect an employee to settle for the same pay year after year, you must also understand that the cost of buying your wife's submission goes up drastically with each passing year of suffering she's endured under you meaning that you need to bring in more money as you continue to expect her submission. Else, you are liable to loosing that right if you are not able to meet up your end of the bargain. At that point, you are forced into a partnership of sorts and not a healthy one at that. ![]() Traditional marriage makes no sense for poor men. It only works for rich individuals who expect to remain and grow rich throughout the marriage, else, once all the money is gone, the woman is also likely to bail. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Kobojunkie: 4:38am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Smartguyboy:1. Does a man who carries a financial burden in his traditional marriage do so because he loves his wife? No, as the major reason why men do so is in order that the woman exists as if an employee/slave paid to submit to the man. ![]() So, let's stop throwing the word "love" around as if it ever did factor in decisions made by most in marriage. Most Nigerians don' marry for love at all. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by zedegit: 4:55am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: I know people like you are lioness online but pussyclaat at home. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by InfinityFabric: 5:08am On Apr 13, 2023 |
It's never a partnership, even in business it's a suicidal endeavour to partner with an emotional being. Men lead, women follow. And your wife is NOT supposed to work. And as a boss in a workplace, I advise you to never let your wife work at least outside of home. And as a man with sense you should know that the moment she's contributing 5 Naira she'll now want to act like boss. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by MechanicMike: 5:24am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Queendera: ![]() |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by MechanicMike: 5:30am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Queendera: U are a TRIBALISTIC racist who hate black people coz if u love black people then proooof it by giving me puccccci...only me...proooof u love Yor coutry & gimmmmme some (no offenscce) ![]() |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Kobojunkie: 5:35am On Apr 13, 2023 |
zedegit:You are willing to believe anything just so you can continue to avoid reality as it truly presents itself, right? ![]() |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by humilitypays(m): 6:27am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Queendera:A typical Nigerian man likes to be 100 percent responsible for his family's financial burden, this is the wish and desire of most Nigerian men born and raised in Nigeria, it only changes when the man is not doing well financially or if he is struggling financially and not making enough income. A typical Nigerian man born and raised in Nigeria have ego, especially when it comes to asking woman (his girlfriend, fiance' or wife) for money or financial help, its almost like a taboo, he will rather starve to death than ask a woman for financial help, except the woman is his mother or sister or Aunt. Lastly, a lot of financially buoyant Nigerian men married to working class ladies prefer their wife uses her income to take care of her family's financial demands on her own, and also to take care of her personal needs. Most Nigerian men born and raised in Nigeria hardly believe that their wife is earning more than them lol, they always have this innate belief that their wife's income or salary is a peanut meant for her and her kids/family. Any Nigerian man married to a Nigerian woman should take his eyes off his wife's income if he truly desire a happy home/marriage because Nigerian women don't joke with their money, they are so fixated on it, so to enjoy peace in your marriage, forget her income and work to take care of your family, this is what Bible expects from Christian husbands, and this is one of the many reasons why women from other countries rush Nigerian men. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Aplaudez(m): 6:59am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Gerrard59: What's your point huh ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Men Agree To This Nonsense Arrangement? by Aplaudez(m): 7:01am On Apr 13, 2023 |
Rokiat: For the fact that you're a lady, you're allowed to say this. 1 Like |
The Bitter Truth Most Ladies Refuse To Accept / Holy Hotness!!! Bursty Lagos Mama, Flaunts Photos Of Her Heavily Loaded Ikebe / My Ex-Boyfriend Insulted Me After I Did 'Shakara'
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 113 |