I met my husband when I had my own house 🏘️,which I built with my own money from the job am doing as well as my business.And him too has his own house 🏘️.
When we got married we needed some huge capital to start up a family business and my husband's suggestion was to put my house 🏠 up for sale as one way of sourcing the needed capital,which I said No and told him we should look for another way to source the capital needed.
Thereafter we agreed to acquire a loan from the bank but there's a need to use one of our property to secure a bank loan and my husband said my house 🏠 should be used so that whenever we fail to pay back the loan my house 🏠 would be repossessed by the Bank 🏦,

I told my husband not my house 🏠,let it be his own house 🏘️ because he's the head of the family, and he says no ,not his house.but I wonder why he says no yet all these two houses has the same value.
This issue has been going on for sometime now and recently my husband said to me if I don't allow my house 🏠 to be used to source this much needed capital then we should better part ways,
Am beginning to think I should just agree with my husband to use my house 🏘️ to secure this loan,but before that I would want to hear from you and give me some directions.

The question is should I give up my house 🏘️ or not??...

*Let's discuss this*

Nairaland. It is well

If this is real, then the issue between you and your hubby is lack of trust, communication and understanding, which are some of the major factors for a smooth home.

Selling any of the houses is not a big deal if the 3 factors mentioned above exist between you.

Everybody just dey out to outsmart the other person. Ofcourse, the dude thinks its better to put the risk on you so when things go awry, he can leave you to your wahala.

If it's me o, I will agree with the condition that
1. The deed and all other papers of his own house be updated to include my name just incase things go sideways. I will know that I still have some equity left.

2. The loan be taken in both our names just so we will both have the same discredit issue should things go sideways. I know that even if the house goes into foreclosure, it still does bad things to debtor's credit ratings.

This way, we will both be motivated to repay the loan as not paying exposes us both. All should be fair in love and war. If only love can be unselfish as preached in the bible .

sisisioge:


Everybody just dey out to outsmart the other person. Ofcourse, the dude thinks its better to put the risk on you so when things go awry, he can leave you to your wahala.

If it's me o, I will agree with the condition that
1. The deed and all other papers of his own house be updated to include my name just incase things go sideways. I will know that I still have some equity left.

2. The loan be taken in both our names just so we will both have the same discredit issue should things go sideways. I know that even if the house goes into foreclosure, it still does bad things to debtor's credit ratings.

This way, we will both be motivated to repay the loan as not paying exposes us both. All should be fair in love and war. If only love can be unselfish as preached in the bible .

Too much brain

Icrave4u:
■ I told my husband not my house 🏠,let it be his own house 🏘️ because he's the head of the family, and he says no ,not his house.but I wonder why he says no yet all these two houses has the same value.
This issue has been going on for sometime now and recently my husband said to me if I don't allow my house 🏠 to be used to source this much needed capital then we should better part ways,
■ Am beginning to think I should just agree with my husband to use my house 🏘️ to secure this loan,but before that I would want to hear from you and give me some directions. The question is should I give up my house 🏘️ or not??...*Let's discuss this*

1. Red bloody flag!

2. To secure the loan or secure your Mrs. badge status?

Before you agree to anything, speak to a lawyer so you understand potential risks you take in this.

He has been quick to say your house your house but his own is off limits. Selfishness. You seem to have been doing well on your own if you built the house with your own money from your job and business. Anyways, do thread carefully - because it seems he just wants you to get rid of that house by force. Some men are threatened by a woman's success. Moreover, if the family business doesn't work out and/or you're not able to pay back the loan, you'll lose that house, along with whatever money you've invested into the business. What you should do? Tell him that you should both wait a while until you both can raise the funds to start the business. WAIT, or at least raise some funds so that whatever collateral is put down won't be such a big loss in case the business doesn't go as planned. That's the smartest thing to do. If he's threatening to leave the marriage because of this or because you won't put your house as collateral, then you're married to an enemy. This is not love. That should also let you know that he doesn't mean well for you and should be the more reason why you should stand your ground. Don't touch your house.

Submit to your husband and stop claiming wisdom in everything.
We women are just too selfish!!

If that man can boldly tell u to use ur house as a collateral for loan else u guys go ur separate ways...then take it that he does not love u but ur money and ur money only.

In fact,the man may also not be happy that u have a house of your own hence this decision to device this plan.

Just be careful.

Pochettino:
Submit to your husband and stop claiming wisdom in everything.
We women are just too selfish!!

Aunty "Too good" be keeping quiet, some issues don't need ur blank inputs.

If she is claiming wisdom,i don't think she will bring this issue up.

Nice2023:



Aunty "Too good" be keeping quiet, some issues don't need ur blank inputs.

If she is claiming wisdom,i don't think she will bring this issue up.

Who do you think you are talking to?!

Dont try it.

If taking risks with your house is what will hold the marriage together, believe its gone.


What kind of selfishness is this

You don't have a marriage. Sorry.

Icrave4u:

I met my husband when I had my own house 🏘️,which I built with my own money from the job am doing as well as my business.And him too has his own house 🏘️.
When we got married we needed some huge capital to start up a family business and my husband's suggestion was to put my house 🏠 up for sale as one way of sourcing the needed capital,which I said No and told him we should look for another way to source the capital needed.
Thereafter we agreed to acquire a loan from the bank but there's a need to use one of our property to secure a bank loan and my husband said my house 🏠 should be used so that whenever we fail to pay back the loan my house 🏠 would be repossessed by the Bank 🏦,

I told my husband not my house 🏠,let it be his own house 🏘️ because he's the head of the family, and he says no ,not his house.but I wonder why he says no yet all these two houses has the same value.
This issue has been going on for sometime now and recently my husband said to me if I don't allow my house 🏠 to be used to source this much needed capital then we should better part ways,
Am beginning to think I should just agree with my husband to use my house 🏘️ to secure this loan,but before that I would want to hear from you and give me some directions.

The question is should I give up my house 🏘️ or not??...

*Let's discuss this*

very simple solution... if your house is used for the capital of the business then the business is technically yours (and yours only) until the loan has been fully repaid, but IMHO any spouse who think the way yours does, should be feared like the devil!

Pochettino:
Submit to your husband and stop claiming wisdom in everything.
We women are just too selfish!!

You don't have sense.

JovialJune:


You don't have sense.

You're obviously single and frustrated. Auntie.

Pochettino:


You're obviously single and frustrated. Auntie.

Eyah, everyone is not like you dear.

Cheap emotional blackmail.
See,. You will regret it if you use your house.

Why are you considering risking your only means of security just to please a greedy and selfish man?
Why can't he be the risk taker as a man in this business?
Why does he place more value on the business over you and is willing to do away with you if he doesn't achieve his aim for the business?

Why are you afraid of losing a marriage he is not afraid or even bothered to lose?

All these are pointers to the fact that your husband does not really care about you and would kick you out once the business starts doing well since he can threaten your marriage because of the same business which has not even started. Can't you see?

Now, You're the one begging to stay married by agreeing to put your only investment on stake for a man just because he threatened to leave. If anything happens to the business and you lose your house, he won't hesitate to abandon you cause he never really cared about you and when the only thing binding you two is no longer in sight, what do you think will happen to you? Whats now the essence of risking your own property when you still end up losing that which you're trying to protect? Madam, use your brain. Let him GO!

He has clearly showed you his position and conditions in this union from all that played out in this business and collateral matter. If you turn blind eyes to all these red flags and choose to please him now, be rest assured that more threats and conditions will arise in your disfavor and to his favor In the course of the business which will eventually lead to a big strain on your relationship and eventual separation. So, stand your ground and see if he would make good his threat. If he doesn't, fine. If he does, at least you still get to go with something and save yourself of a future divorce with nothing. He's not worth it!

Most Men are not loyal. They can not be trusted. Don't say you were not warned.

Everyone is indeed selfish. Rather than use your house, forget about the business. Tell him you are no longer interested in the business.

EriMma1:
Cheap blackmail.
See,. You will regret it if you use your house.

Why are you considering risking your only means of security just to please a greedy and selfish man?
Why can't he be the risk taker as a man in this business?
Why does he place more value on the business over you and is willing to do away with you if he doesn't achieve his aim for the business?

Why are you afraid of losing a marriage he is not afraid or even bothered to lose?

All these are pointers to the fact that your husband does not really care about you and would kick you out once the business starts doing well since he can threaten your marriage because of the same business which has not even started. Can't you see?

Now, You're the one begging to stay married by agreeing to put your only investment on stake for a man just because he threatened to leave. If anything happens to the business and you lose your house, he won't hesitate to abandon you cause he never really cared about you and when the only thing binding you two is no longer in sight, what do you think will happen to you? Whats now the essence of risking your own property when you still end up losing that which you were trying to protect? Madam, use your brain. Let him GO!

He has clearly showed you his position and conditions in this union from all that played out in this business and collateral matter. If you turn blind eyes to all these red flags and choose to please him now, be rest assured that more threats and conditions will arise in your disfavor and to his favor In the course of the business which will eventually lead to a big strain on your relationship and eventual separation. So, stand your ground and see if he would make good his threat. If he doesn't, fine. If he does, at least you still get to go with something and save yourself of a future divorce with nothing. He's not worth it!

Men are not loyal. They can not be trusted. Don't say you were not warned.

OP, please ponder on this.

Pochettino:
Submit to your husband and stop claiming wisdom in everything.
We women are just too selfish!!

Submit under pressure and threats?

Why would he threaten to leave the marriage if hes a good husband. Why should he even think of such?

He's not worth the submission because he'll only use it to oppress her more in subsequent ventures in the future. He's a manipulative husband and such people are not worth being around cos they are very dangerous and can wreck you.

sofeo:
If this is real, then the issue between you and your hubby is lack of trust, communication and understanding, which are some of the major factors for a smooth home.

Selling any of the houses is not a big deal if the 3 factors mentioned above exist between you.

And we know for sure it's a fairytale designed to bash men.

mrblessed:
And we know for sure it's a fairytale designed to bash men.

Go and sit down! You men are always like that especially with women who are always shaking like jelly fish at your feet, begging to be married or stay married.

That is why, I'll never beg any man to keep me. If you want to go, Go! Life continues and I still have my things intact to console my soul. Hahaha...

Forget about the business, no be by force to do joint business.

His target is that your property so you would be at his mercy.



Many have gone be wise.

EriMma1:


Go and sit down! You men are always like that especially with women who are always shaking like jelly fish at your feet, begging to be married or stay married.

That is why, I'll never beg any man to keep me. If you want to go, Go! Life continues and I still have my things intact to console my soul. Hahaha...

This deeply and comprehensively twisted Cinderella eh. When are we leaving Nigeria?

mrblessed:
This deeply and comprehensively twisted Cinderella eh. When are we leaving Nigeria?

You and who?
Dream on.

Icrave4u:


I met my husband when I had my own house 🏘️,which I built with my own money from the job am doing as well as my business.And him too has his own house 🏘️.
When we got married we needed some huge capital to start up a family business and my husband's suggestion was to put my house 🏠 up for sale as one way of sourcing the needed capital,which I said No and told him we should look for another way to source the capital needed.
Thereafter we agreed to acquire a loan from the bank but there's a need to use one of our property to secure a bank loan and my husband said my house 🏠 should be used so that whenever we fail to pay back the loan my house 🏠 would be repossessed by the Bank 🏦,

I told my husband not my house 🏠,let it be his own house 🏘️ because he's the head of the family, and he says no ,not his house.but I wonder why he says no yet all these two houses has the same value.
This issue has been going on for sometime now and recently my husband said to me if I don't allow my house 🏠 to be used to source this much needed capital then we should better part ways,
Am beginning to think I should just agree with my husband to use my house 🏘️ to secure this loan,but before that I would want to hear from you and give me some directions.

The question is should I give up my house 🏘️ or not??...

*Let's discuss this*

Never agree to use your personal property as collateral for a joint loan, NEVER!