What the fọck is happening to Nigerian men?

I just read a post on the front page where a "man" could not stand up against his second wife for maltreating his first and only child. https://www.nairaland.com/7668587/wife-hates-daughter-first-wife
I also read one other post 2 or 3 days ago where a man was crying on nairaland that his wife usually slaps and maltreat his mother. That he came home one day and met them fighting, but could not enter the house for whatever reason.
This trend is disgusting 🤮

bro, the sad reality of life is that... NOT ALL MEN CAN BECOME ALPHA MALES. no matter how much you want to lead a horse to the water, you cant force it to drink it.

there is a need for such simp in the world, in order to distinguish between a simp and a real man. some women out there would love nothing more than having a simp as a husband, and others would never dream of having such man in their lives. to each their own!

That thread just dey vex me as I dey read am sef. I mean, who trained these weaklings.

Men need to realise they are the real prize. Do yanga but avoid marriage. Nothing dey inside that institution for you as a man.

mrrandomguy:
What the fọck is happening to Nigerian men?

I just read a post on the front page where a "man" could not stand up against his second wife for maltreating his first and only child. https://www.nairaland.com/7668587/wife-hates-daughter-first-wife
I also read one other post 2 or 3 days ago where a man was crying on nairaland that his wife usually slaps and maltreat his mother. That he came home one day and met them fighting, but could not enter the house for whatever reason.
This trend is disgusting 🤮

First our agents of socialization are dying fast. The government, the school, religious institutions and most important of all the family are all eroding in quality. Our leaders in government are teaching us how to be corrupt on a daily basis. Our schools are places for rote learning of ideas earlier than the 1900s and nothing more. Our religious institutions are being infiltrated by evil leaders that corrupt people and cause discord. More and more children are getting married and having offspring. Tell me, what values can a child pass on to a child? Men become victims of these failures.

Second, most men have no real purpose for being alive. Most men just do whatever whenever. They have no bearing, no ambitious objectives that serve the interests of others, no necessity outside foundational needs for money and sex.

Third, because of the first and second reasons, most men do not have mentors, no moral compass, no leadership abilities, no arbitration skills and no value. Hence most men are easily stunned by situations with little capacity to respond.

A man ought to be a person of responsibility , someone who has the ability to respond to any situation but today we just have a lot of overgrown boys who may never become men.

Few are still men

I do not subscribe to the "Alpha" and "Simp" slogans but in those two cases mentioned, I will agree the men in question are weak. The first one is the most irritating for not been able to defend his daughter. For the other man, I guess he is yet to understand that there is no love without respect. No one has the right to disrespect another and use love as a cover.

MrBrownJay1:
bro, the sad reality of life is that... NOT ALL MEN CAN BECOME ALPHA MALES. no matter how much you want to lead a horse to the water, you cant force it to drink it.

Being an alpha or Omicron male has nothing to do with standing up for the right thing. Don't they have values?

I don't believe in simp and redpill nonsense but I believe that a man should be manly both in looks and in character.

A wife can not just wake up one day and slap her mother in law. She must have been feeding nonsense to the weak man she married and he kept swallowing it hook, line and sinker.

Then the thread about the weakling not defending his lovely daughter against his second wife made me shed tears. I just can't imagine my little daughter being maltreated by a human being on this earth while I'm alive.

If you have kids and lose your wife to death or via divorce and you damn well know you're a weakling, avoid remarrying please.

Just get a sidechick and keep your relationship with her away from your children and your home.

mrrandomguy:
What the fọck is happening to Nigerian men?

I just read a post on the front page where a "man" could not stand up against his second wife for maltreating his first and only child. https://www.nairaland.com/7668587/wife-hates-daughter-first-wife
I also read one other post 2 or 3 days ago where a man was crying on nairaland that his wife usually slaps and maltreat his mother. That he came home one day and met them fighting, but could not enter the house for whatever reason.
This trend is disgusting 🤮

Those stories were not true. They were figment of imagination of a young writer trying to get engagement from readers. I'm surprised anyone believed both stories.

How can a weakling know he is a weakling?

About the mother own, I'm surprised too but about the second wife, I'm not. Vagina can turn a man's head upside down especially when fetish is added. He will value his second wife vagina than his own daughter

I'll tell you why it is happening.
In summary: men of today value the vagina more than men of old.
Take this to the bank.
I was lucky to experience the mindset and worldview of an old Igbo man who died at the age of 97 years.
That man epitomized MANLINESS throughout his life.
His hallmark language choices are vastly different from latter day Igbo men language choices.
For example, every time he spoke about sexual organs, he called them (he usually spoken in loud voice) exactly by their names, and not euphemistic names that Igbo call them today.
The coming of the Europeans dealt a blow to our mindset and language philosophy.
My grandmother used to say that when the Europeans came to our part of Igboland, they were shocked at how sexual organs and sex was treated with little regard. And they (Europeans) went to work to change all that.
Today when you want to say vagina in Igbo, you use slang to mask it. WHY?
So, it started little by little, and today, vagina and penis have become sacred parts that people worship as gods without knowing.
Men these days cry over women's sexual discretion, and you see lots of them in this website searching for virgins to marry.
Why? Because they don't want to ever imagine that some other man may have sex with her.
But why should A MAN preoccupy himself with such useless vanity? Doesn't he have something important to do?
Sex is vanity, til the end of time. But today, all a woman does to control her husband and make him a simp is to preserve her toto for him alone.
Once she does that, everytime she says JUMP, the mumu asks how high. Because he has sold his soul to the goddess of the vagina.
Go and check, the men who can NEVER be made simps, are the ones who don't give a flying fkc where their wives spent the day.
Once a man learns to disregard and even totally ignore his wife's sexual games, the wife would fear the man, and even work extra hard to earn and retain his trust and interest in her.
But all the men who guard their wive's vaginas are either current simps, or future simps.
QUOTE ME.

mrrandomguy:
Being an alpha or Omicron male has nothing to do with standing up for the right thing. Don't they have values?

no they dont have value for their own self, thats why they are SIMPs...

Oluromantic:
About the mother own, I'm surprised too but about the second wife, I'm not. Vagina can turn a man's head upside down especially when fetish is added. He will value his second wife vagina than his own daughter

Vagina you can get as many as you want elsewhere... some men are clownish that is all...

Lonestar124:
Vagina you can get as many as you want elsewhere... some men are clownish that is all...

you're still saying the same thing bro. If you could get one million of the vagina, you'd have to cherish and value the very one you will get hold of. Don't forget women can also get one million of pennis too. Also, i need not to tell you that it's easier to get pennis than pussy

onumadu:
I'll tell you why it is happening.
In summary: men of today value the vagina more than men of old.
Take this to the bank.
I was lucky to experience the mindset and worldview of an old Igbo man who died at the age of 97 years.
That man epitomized MANLINESS throughout his life.
His hallmark language choices are vastly different from latter day Igbo men language choices.
For example, every time he spoke about sexual organs, he called them (he usually spoken in loud voice) exactly by their names, and not euphemistic names that Igbo call them today.
The coming of the Europeans dealt a blow to our mindset and language philosophy.
My grandmother used to say that when the Europeans came to our part of Igboland, they were shocked at how sexual organs and sex was treated with little regard. And they (Europeans) went to work to change all that.
Today when you want to say vagina in Igbo, you use slang to mask it. WHY?
So, it started little by little, and today, vagina and penis have become sacred parts that people worship as gods without knowing.
Men these days cry over women's sexual discretion, and you see lots of them in this website searching for virgins to marry.
Why? Because they don't want to ever imagine that some other man may have sex with her.
But why should A MAN preoccupy himself with such useless vanity? Doesn't he have something important to do?
Sex is vanity, til the end of time. But today, all a woman does to control her husband and make him a simp is to preserve her toto for him alone.
Once she does that, everytime she says JUMP, the mumu asks how high. Because he has sold his soul to the goddess of the vagina.
Go and check, the men who can NEVER be made simps, are the ones who don't give a flying fkc where their wives spent the day.
Once a man learns to disregard and even totally ignore his wife's sexual games, the wife would fear the man, and even work extra hard to earn and retain his trust and interest in her.
But all the men who guard their wive's vaginas are either current simps, or future simps.
QUOTE ME.

I disagree with you completely. I personally know a man in his 80s who lost his children because he was all over women. The whole children abandoned him now in his old age because he spent most of his resources on women. It's just like food, some people love it excessively that they could eat more than 3 times daily. Some can make do with just two or even one square meal. We are different just as our faces differ

I know guys who doesn't really have time for women. They don't even have a girfriend but that doesn't mean they won't get married in later years if they chose to.

My sermon is that our fathers and forefathers also cherish pussy, it is natural and also nature call. Though it may not be too excess compare to what we see now.

I think internet and social media contribute to these menace we experience in the society. Go to secondary school and see how these children engage in sexual relationship. This probably don't exist during our forefathers time or perhaps it's not that rampant then.

VTJN:
I disagree with you completely. I personally know a man in his 80s who lost his children because he was all over women. The whole children abandoned him now in his old age because he spent most of his resources on women. [/b]It's just like food, some people love it excessively that they could eat more than 3 times daily. Some can make do with just two or even one square meal. We are different just as our faces differ

I know guys who doesn't really have time for women. They don't even have a girfriend but that doesn't mean they won't get married in later years if they chose to.

[b]My sermon is that our fathers and forefathers also cherish pussy, it is natural and also nature call. Though it may not be too excess compare to what we see now.

I think internet and social media contribute to these menace we experience in the society. Go to secondary school and see how these children engage in sexual relationship. This probably don't exist during our forefathers time or perhaps it's not that rampant then.

You are addressing the wrong point.
I never said that our (Igbo) ancestors were sexually irresponsible (like the 80 year old man you are referencing).
In Igboland we say "ofeke dibalu gboo (meaning foolish men always existed even from ancient times!)
All I said is that Igbo ancestors never worshiped sex or sexual organs like is the case today.
I keep referencing Igbo because that is the culture I know for sure. I don't know about other cultures.
For example placing charms on married women (like Magun) is not part of Igbo culture.
But let me not digress much ...
Igbo ancestors valued women, but they NEVER worshiped vagina like men do today.
In fact they looked down on men who guarded their women's vagina, wondering whether those men "don't have important things to do".
To the Igbo man of old, fighting wars, wrestling, making masquerades, making money and building wealth are the only important things.
Things like sex are things that lazy and irresponsible men preoccupy themselves with.
That culture and worldview still survives in Igboland, but it is dying daily. And that dying culture is why men (at least in Igboland) are losing power.
They have been diverted into vagina worship rather than focusing on important things like wealth, wars, conquests, etc.
Women respect only those types of true power. She can get good sex from any idiot, but she can't get wealth and valor genes from every man.
Once a man focuses more on his wife's vagina, the woman will simply start looking for a man who "gets it",
That is why adultery by women is increasing daily.
Simpism is a trait of irresponsibility and cluelessness.

onumadu:


You are addressing the wrong point.
I never said that our (Igbo) ancestors were sexually irresponsible (like the 80 year old man you are referencing).
In Igboland we say "ofeke dibalu gboo (meaning foolish men always existed even from ancient times!)
All I said is that Igbo ancestors never worshiped sex or sexual organs like is the case today.
I keep referencing Igbo because that is the culture I know for sure. I don't know about other cultures.
For example placing charms on married women (like Magun) is not part of Igbo culture.
But let me not digress much ...
Igbo ancestors valued women, but they NEVER worshiped vagina like men do today.
In fact they looked down on men who guarded their women's vagina, wondering whether those men "don't have important things to do".
To the Igbo man of old, fighting wars, wrestling, making masquerades, making money and building wealth are the only important things.
Things like sex are things that lazy and irresponsible men preoccupy themselves with.
That culture and worldview still survives in Igboland, but it is dying daily. And that dying culture is why men (at least in Igboland) are losing power.
They have been diverted into vagina worship rather than focusing on important things like wealth, wars, conquests, etc.
Women respect only those types of true power. She can get good sex from any idiot, but she can't get wealth and valor genes from every man.
Once a man focuses more on his wife's vagina, the woman will simply start looking for a man who "gets it",
That is why adultery by women is increasing daily.
Simpism is a trait of irresponsibility and cluelessness.

The last time i checked an average Nigerian married men cheat and sleep around recklessly than an average Nigerian women. Some of these men cheat right in front of their wives. We live in a patrachial society, i wouldn't want to dwell on that much. It's easier to find married women in Nigeria who hasn't cheated on their hubby ever since they got married but you'd hardly find an average Nigerian men married for decades without having a record of infidelity.. It's easier for women to remain celibate than their male counterparts. You can easily find a widow woman who lost her hubby for years without getting remarried nor has a side cock, rather busy looking after her kids. On the other hand, their male counterparts (widower) easily moved on in less than a year or two. You'd hardly see a married man without having a side chic somewhere, but reverse is the case for the married women. We've seen men sleeping around because their wives are heavily pregnant, on her menstrual cycle, breastfeeding et al, and they couldn't engage in sexual activities at that period and they couldn't hold or control their excessive sexual urge. There are much more men out there that are pervert and rapist compare to their female counterparts. We know how married men are running after single girls, but that's a topic for another day.

I doubt our forefathers, even in the south eastern region don't worship the female genital during their dispensation. There was no social media during their time, the economy was pretty much good then that they could chase women and build their career simultaneously. Yes, i understand promiscuity wasn't that rampant during our forefathers generation irrespective of tribe or ethnicity but i wouldn't excuse them not running after women as we do experience now

I think the male folks makes it look like they will all die if they couldn't get hold of any female for sexual activity. The female folks already know that men need them more and can hardly live nor survive without them.

VTJN:
The last time i checked an average Nigerian married men cheat and sleep around recklessly than an average Nigerian women. Some of these men cheat right in front of their wives. We live in a patrachial society, i wouldn't want to dwell on that much. It's easier to find married women in Nigeria who hasn't cheated on their hubby ever since they got married but you'd hardly find an average Nigerian men married for decades without having a record of infidelity.. It's easier for women to remain celibate than their male counterparts. You can easily find a widow woman who lost her hubby for years without getting remarried nor has a side cock, rather busy looking after her kids. On the other hand, their male counterparts (widower) easily moved on in less than a year or two. You'd hardly see a married man without having a side chic somewhere, but reverse is the case for the married women. We've seen men sleeping around because their wives are heavily pregnant, on her menstrual cycle, breastfeeding et al, and they couldn't engage in sexual activities at that period and they couldn't hold or control their excessive sexual urge. There are much more men out there that are pervert and rapist compare to their female counterparts. We know how married men are running after single girls, but that's a topic for another day.

I doubt our forefathers, even in the south eastern region don't worship the female genital during their dispensation. There was no social media during their time, the economy was pretty much good then that they could chase women and build their career simultaneously. Yes, i understand promiscuity wasn't that rampant during our forefathers generation irrespective of tribe or ethnicity but i wouldn't excuse them not running after women as we do experience now

I think the male folks makes it look like they will all die if they couldn't get hold of any female for sexual activity. The female folks already know that men need them more and can hardly live nor survive without them.

There were big differences between ethnic groups' sexual and marital cultures in Nigeria.
Like I said, the Igbo (from where I speak) didn't have anything like "Magun", and Igbo didn't have any word for "bastard".
Those alone speak volumes about cultural differences.
Igbo of old valued children more than the female sexual organs. But let me not digress because that topic is huge.
The "economy" of ancient Igboland was not masculine as today. In those days, women also made money and accumulated wealth just like men.
Secondly, there was polygamy, and women married very young (like 13 yrs young), and by the time a woman was in her thirties, her husband had already married a second wife or third etc.
Women who were in their forties and fifties were simply overlooked as "old". They were only patronized by unmarried young men who were "learning how to do". And NOBODY cared about such happenings, because people were busy hustling in farms, making handcrafts, trading in markets, engaged in manual labors, fighting wars, etc.
NO OFFICE EMPLOYMENT AS IS TODAY.
What you are describing in your comment is simply a narrative depicting the failure of the marriage/sexual systems brought by the colonizers.
Why would an ancient Igbo man scavenge for sex? He had more than enough from his wives and concubines.
Men today are emasculated and cannot even control one woman, even though their sexual needs transcends what one woman can provide.
So, nobody worshiped sex in Igboland, because they were not sex-starved.
You need to read some good hist-anthropological books about Igboland to understand what I'm saying, because you seem to be arguing from a "modernist" or contemporary paradigm position.

onumadu:


There were big differences between ethnic groups' sexual and marital cultures in Nigeria.
Like I said, the Igbo (from where I speak) didn't have anything like "Magun", and Igbo didn't have any word for "bastard".
Those alone speak volumes about cultural differences.
Igbo of old valued children more than the female sexual organs. But let me not digress because that topic is huge.
The "economy" of ancient Igboland was not masculine as today. In those days, women also made money and accumulated wealth just like men.
Secondly, there was polygamy, and women married very young (like 13 yrs young), and by the time a woman was in her thirties, her husband had already married a second wife or third etc.
Women who were in their forties and fifties were simply overlooked as "old". They were only patronized by unmarried young men who were "learning how to do". And NOBODY cared about such happenings, because people were busy hustling in farms, making handcrafts, trading in markets, engaged in manual labors, fighting wars, etc.
NO OFFICE EMPLOYMENT AS IS TODAY.
What you are describing in your comment is simply a narrative depicting the failure of the marriage/sexual systems brought by the colonizers.
Why would an ancient Igbo man scavenge for sex? He had more than enough from his wives and concubines.
Men today are emasculated and cannot even control one woman, even though their sexual needs transcends what one woman can provide.
So, nobody worshiped sex in Igboland, because they were not sex-starved.
You need to read some good hist-anthropological books about Igboland to understand what I'm saying, because you seem to be arguing from a "modernist" or contemporary paradigm position.

I wouldn't want to dwell more on ethnicity so it wouldn't look like a tribal haunt or whataview. From what i read, do i need to remind you that the so called Magun was meant for promiscuous married women whose husbands couldn't take or accept her promiscuity? I guess it's a culture thing of nabbing a promiscuous woman and the man she's seeing while in marriage. I'm not in anyway in support of that though, but i guess that's the best way they believed or thought they could nabb their promiscuous wives and the so called men outside.

What would you say regarding the barbaric culture where the female folks are emptied, forcefully shaved, sent packing or forcefully give out in marriage to another man after the demise of her hubby? What would you say regarding the barbaric culture where female folks are stripped naked, forcefully shaved and sent packing without the option of being given out to her late husband siblings. Why? Because she couldn't bore a child or had all girls. Remember, those so called men are either married, divorced or widower. Are you indirectly telling me the same upright men when it comes to women affair aren't sex starved? Why the obsession over their late brothers wives? Don't tell me some of them killed their brothers because they had an eye or somewhat interested in their brothers wives? These are the calibre of men you claimed to be upright in the aspects of women.

The Islamic part of Hausa and Yoruba ethnicity do married more than a wife. I guess it's a norms according to their religion. I noticed their Christians counterparts don't involved in polygamous. I wouldn't want to consider thatas being running after women because it was backed by their religion with proof in the quoran.

Men naturally run after the women folks, it only differ but none are exempted.

VTJN:
I wouldn't want to dwell more on ethnicity so it wouldn't look like a tribal haunt or whataview. From what i read, do i need to remind you that the so called Magun was meant for promiscuous married women whose husbands couldn't take or accept her promiscuity? I guess it's a culture thing of nabbing a promiscuous woman and the man she's seeing while in marriage. I'm not in anyway in support of that though, but i guess that's the best way they believed or thought they could nabb their promiscuous wives and the so called men outside.

What would you say regarding the barbaric culture where the female folks are emptied, forcefully shaved, sent packing or forcefully give out in marriage to another man after the demise of her hubby? What would you say regarding the barbaric culture where female folks are stripped naked, forcefully shaved and sent packing without the option of being given out to her late husband siblings. Why? Because she couldn't bore a child or had all girls. Remember, those so called men are either married, divorced or widower. Are you indirectly telling me the same upright men when it comes to women affair aren't sex starved? Why the obsession over their late brothers wives? Don't tell me some of them killed their brothers because they had an eye or somewhat interested in their brothers wives? These are the calibre of men you claimed to be upright in the aspects of women.

The Islamic part of Hausa and Yoruba ethnicity do married more than a wife. I guess it's a norms according to their religion. I noticed their Christians counterparts don't involved in polygamous. I wouldn't want to consider thatas being running after women because it was backed by their religion with proof in the quoran.

Men naturally run after the women folks, it only differ but none are exempted.

@First bolded, YES it is a cultural (and ethnic) thing, in this instance because you clearly lack a whole range of knowledge.
The way the Igbo of old addressed problems of sex (whether inside or outside marriage) differs remarkably from the way the Yoruba (example the Magun method) dealt with such issues.
One major difference is that the enforcement of morals was left to deities in the land, and not voodoos like Magun.
The Igbo of old were NOT Christians. They practiced traditional African religion.
And they were polygamous in that culture.
Please stop confusing and mixing up different times in Igboland.
Go and read a good book; I would recommend G.T Basden for starters, in his book where he described the fact that an Igbo married woman kept a lover that was not her husband and it was all normal.
There are other books.
The point is that you are describing current day Igbo, while I am describing ancient (or precolonial) Igbo.
If you are not Igbo, you may not be interested in that reality; but if you are, you may be in denial or ignorant.
There is a reason why women still get blamed culturally for not conceiving a child during marriage. It is a residue of an ancient culture.
You think that childbirth was only left to a woman and her husband alone? If yes, why then was she blamed alone? And sometimes sent back to her father's house for being infertile? The ones not sent back (good women) are allowed to "marry" another woman to have children for her.
All the other things you said in the second bolded paragraph is totally off-mark because you are sermonizing, labeling and judging a culture you don't understand.
For example, in describing Levirate marriage (where a man takes over the wife of a dead male sibling), you used derogatory choice of words to essentially impugn the culture.
Do you know what a Levirate marriage is, and do you know how it is practiced, or are you busy watching Nollywood and Youtubers' depiction of the practice?
I would once again advise you to stop watching Nollywood (BTW Ohanaeze Ndigbo had severally warned Nollywood producers to stop lying against Igbo culture).
Go and do a library book research (meta analysis) on precolonial Igbo. You will come out more informed and wiser.
The phenomenon of sex starved men is a latter day thing, just like prostitution.
Igboland had no prostitutes in precolonial times.
But you need to read enough history books to understand me.