MY CHINYERE

Have you ever prayed to die? As in for God to kill you? I have, fervently, when I was about 14.

You know teenagers and the clique thing. We had ours you know. We were also noticing the girls. We divided them into the beautiful ones and the ugly ones. Of course our parameters were very faulty but go tell that to a 16 year old.

Chinyere was one of those girls we branded into the ugly group. Looking back now she wasn’t ugly at all. But back then as far as we were concerned, she was an ugly hag. And that was final. Of course we don’t go near the ugly girls; we don’t date them, we don’t even want to talk to them.

One day na so me and my guys just de stroll enter church o, we come de see people, young girls, just de laugh de point us hand. We ignored them and kept our distance. Presently, one of our informants came close and dropped a bombshell: Chinyere has been broadcasting that she loves me! My God! Ugly Chinyere? Since church was about to start we postponed the matter and went in.

In church I prayed. God where you there when Chinyere started loving me and then started broadcasting it? And you did nothing? O God why will you let ugly Chinyere love me? How will my pals rate me now? Me? Chinyere? Tufiakwa!

After church an emergency meeting was called by my pals. We were furious. How dare Chinyere love one in our clique?! Quickly a resolution was reached to halt this madness. I was ordered to beat her up. I wasn’t a very physical teenager, and I wasn’t really sure whether I could beat Chinyere in a fair battle. They sensed my reservations and promised their support.

I cornered Chinyere after church, “Chinyere you de craze? Na who you love?”

“Do you want to fight me because I love you?” she asked calmly.

I answered that question with a slap. Chinyere didn’t slap me back. I pushed her to the ground and started buffeting her. She didn’t fight back. Just then a catechist passed by and separated us.

He asked what happened. With punctuations of heavy breathing I blurted, “I de here my own o, Chinyere come de love me.”

The man was shocked. “Are you beating her because she loves you?”

It was my turn to be shocked. “It’s like this man doesn’t know that Chinyere is ugly o,” I thought.

He turned to Chinyere, “Do you love him?”

“Yes sir. I love him.”

The silence was deafening. Her friends thought she was a fool. My friends thought she was a dare-devil. I thought she was an idiot. But there was something about her that seems to impress the catechist. Well he issued a permanent injunction not to touch Chinyere again and we all headed home.

My house de near church o, but I no branch. I followed my pals talking and boasting about wowo girls when de love fine boys. Chinyere and her troop walked behind defeated. We talked at the top of our voices, boasted and mocked. We got close to a filling station, the lights made everywhere bright, making 7:15pm look like 4pm.

Then it happened.

To this day I still don’t know how it happened. Something just gave way underneath me and I slipped and fell flat on the ground[b][/b]. The girls behind me roared and jeered, my friends disappeared into thin air. There I lay fallen and disgraced before my enemies.

Then I prayed. I prayed the most fervent prayer of my entire life: I ASKED GOD TO KILL ME! I lay there for a while not because I couldn’t get up but because I didn’t want to. I wanted God to kill me.

An elderly brother come lift me up, curse me join sef. E say “you too de talk.” I stood there covered with shame and dust. Then I started walking home. I was walking under the shadows casted by the Gmalina trees that lined the road. Then I saw a figure come out of the shadows, behind the trees just in front of me.

CHINYERE!

I stood. She walked towards me, “I just want you to know that I didn’t laugh when you fell. Sorry.” I said nothing, but I knew she was telling the truth. She took my hand and examined the bruise on my right elbow, telling me sorry several times. I didn’t resist when she took my hand. I just stood there.

She looked at me and I looked into her 14 year old eyes: there were deep brown. I also saw her ruddy cheeks and chubby arms. This girl isn’t ugly at all. In fact she is so so beautiful. She dusted me and cleaned the blood with her head scarf. I just stood there.

Then she opened my left palm, put something that felt like a sheet of paper and folded my fingers to cover it. Chinyere looked up at me with tear-filled eyes and said “I love you , very much.” She dropped my hand and ran. She ran to catch up with her friends.

I opened my palms and saw N5 note. O my God. I turned towards her direction and saw her still running. That was the last time I saw Chinyere.

I stopped going to church for a while because of the embarrassment of the fall. Few months later Chinyere travelled to visit her aunt in Enugu and never came back. She died in a motor accident. I was devastated.

I went to church and sat where she and her friends use to sit, she wasn’t there. I went back in the night to that spot where I fell, she wasn’t there. I wanted to take her hand as she took mine; look into her eyes as she did and say to her “I love you too.”

O Chinyere... My Chinyere… 😭

Her love for you felt genuine. Teenage love is the sweetest, no exploitive motive just shear innocence.

If to say na me be God, before you finish the statement, I don cut ya head comot

ukamowor:
MY CHINYERE

Have you ever prayed to die? As in for God to kill you? I have, fervently, when I was about 14.

You know teenagers and the clique thing. We had ours you know. We were also noticing the girls. We divided them into the beautiful ones and the ugly ones. Of course our parameters were very faulty but go tell that to a 16 year old.

Chinyere was one of those girls we branded into the ugly group. Looking back now she wasn’t ugly at all. But back then as far as we were concerned, she was an ugly hag. And that was final. Of course we don’t go near the ugly girls; we don’t date them, we don’t even want to talk to them.

One day na so me and my guys just de stroll enter church o, we come de see people, young girls, just de laugh de point us hand. We ignored them and kept our distance. Presently, one of our informants came close and dropped a bombshell: Chinyere has been broadcasting that she loves me! My God! Ugly Chinyere? Since church was about to start we postponed the matter and went in.

In church I prayed. God where you there when Chinyere started loving me and then started broadcasting it? And you did nothing? O God why will you let ugly Chinyere love me? How will my pals rate me now? Me? Chinyere? Tufiakwa!

After church an emergency meeting was called by my pals. We were furious. How dare Chinyere love one in our clique?! Quickly a resolution was reached to halt this madness. I was ordered to beat her up. I wasn’t a very physical teenager, and I wasn’t really sure whether I could beat Chinyere in a fair battle. They sensed my reservations and promised their support.

I cornered Chinyere after church, “Chinyere you de craze? Na who you love?”

“Do you want to fight me because I love you?” she asked calmly.

I answered that question with a slap. Chinyere didn’t slap me back. I pushed her to the ground and started buffeting her. She didn’t fight back. Just then a catechist passed by and separated us.

He asked what happened. With punctuations of heavy breathing I blurted, “I de here my own o, Chinyere come de love me.”

The man was shocked. “Are you beating her because she loves you?”

It was my turn to be shocked. “It’s like this man doesn’t know that Chinyere is ugly o,” I thought.

He turned to Chinyere, “Do you love him?”

“Yes sir. I love him.”

The silence was deafening. Her friends thought she was a fool. My friends thought she was a dare-devil. I thought she was an idiot. But there was something about her that seems to impress the catechist. Well he issued a permanent injunction not to touch Chinyere again and we all headed home.

My house de near church o, but I no branch. I followed my pals talking and boasting about wowo girls when de love fine boys. Chinyere and her troop walked behind defeated. We talked at the top of our voices, boasted and mocked. We got close to a filling station, the lights made everywhere bright, making 7:15pm look like 4pm.

Then it happened.

To this day I still don’t know how it happened. Something just gave way underneath me and I slipped and fell flat on the ground[b][/b]. The girls behind me roared and jeered, my friends disappeared into thin air. There I lay fallen and disgraced before my enemies.

Then I prayed. I prayed the most fervent prayer of my entire life: I ASKED GOD TO KILL ME! I lay there for a while not because I couldn’t get up but because I didn’t want to. I wanted God to kill me.

An elderly brother come lift me up, curse me join sef. E say “you too de talk.” I stood there covered with shame and dust. Then I started walking home. I was walking under the shadows casted by the Gmalina trees that lined the road. Then I saw a figure come out of the shadows, behind the trees just in front of me.

CHINYERE!

I stood. She walked towards me, “I just want you to know that I didn’t laugh when you fell. Sorry.” I said nothing, but I knew she was telling the truth. She took my hand and examined the bruise on my right elbow, telling me sorry several times. I didn’t resist when she took my hand. I just stood there.

She looked at me and I looked into her 14 year old eyes: there were deep brown. I also saw her ruddy cheeks and chubby arms. This girl isn’t ugly at all. In fact she is so so beautiful. She dusted me and cleaned the blood with her head scarf. I just stood there.

Then she opened my left palm, put something that felt like a sheet of paper and folded my fingers to cover it. Chinyere looked up at me with tear-filled eyes and said “I love you , very much.” She dropped my hand and ran. She ran to catch up with her friends.

I opened my palms and saw N5 note. O my God. I turned towards her direction and saw her still running. That was the last time I saw Chinyere.

I stopped going to church for a while because of the embarrassment of the fall. Few months later Chinyere travelled to visit her aunt in Enugu and never came back. She died in a motor accident. I was devastated.

I went to church and sat where she and her friends use to sit, she wasn’t there. I went back in the night to that spot where I fell, she wasn’t there. I wanted to take her hand as she took mine; look into her eyes as she did and say to her “I love you too.”

O Chinyere... My Chinyere… 😭