@theopops
You're right. And i took that stand too. But I get very considerate and lay back and stay quiet for the child's sake. He must never suffer. To achieve this, we have to foster a good relationship together. Even though I feel like getting on the next plane outta here!!!

Gamers:

@theopops
You're right. And i took that stand too. But I get very considerate and lay back and stay quiet for the child's sake. He must never suffer. To achieve this, we have to foster a good relationship together. Even though I feel like getting on the next plane out of here!!!

@ Gamers: Is your unborn child a boy?

@Siena
I dont know. Just used that there.

theopops:

It is as much your fault as it's the baby mama. If she was dumb enough to sleep without protection, she should be ready to face life. If she made a decision to not abort. She should be ready to face life as a single mother. See, what I am trying to point out here is this, we all choose the way we want to live. She chose to have a baby out of wedlock and she will have to live with that decision.

Yes, people sleep with others. Heck, the sex is sweet and you know deep down, you feel nothing for her. That if push turn to shove, you'll go with your GF. Believe me, girls know this, but some are stupid enough to think the guy is going to leave the GF for them. Yeah, wishful thinking.

Abegi, carry go jo. If her family wants you to marry her, tell them you will, when their daughter starts to tell the truth. I so hate liars!

Yeah, people sleep with others. And when they decide to do so, they should be straight-forward enough to take responsibility for their actions, accept the blame, acknowledge their error and stop trying to lay the reasons why things went wrong, at the doorstep of the other party, or start acting like a victim. It takes two to tango. Did the baby's momma impregnate herself? Gamers finished his misdeed, and had the guts to suggest an abortion after he was found out. Assuming the chic didn't bcome pregnant, he would have continued 'chopping' her for free. So where is the 'lie,' in this whole thing? Most women will tell you, that having a baby out of wedlock takes even more guts, than having an abortion. They think of the shame, the costs of bringing up the kid, the chances that anything could go wrong with the pregnancy or during childbirth etc. Yet, someone is here blaming the girl for NOT using protection and telling lies, instead of telling the guy to stop digging himself deeper into the hole in which he has found himself. Or did the girl hold a gun to his head and force him to sleep with her?? Men who decide to use women for sex, should be prepared to face the music when things go wrong, instead of offering cheap excuses.

Gamers said he loved his girl-friend. So why was he banging another chic? Ooops, he was trying to prove. . .just what exactly? That he was virile? So why didn't he use protection with the other chic? And am sure those banging sessions must have taken place more than once, over a period of time. This story reminds me of what happened to my neighbour's only daughter, last year. That young girl is now in the shoes of Gamers' baby momma. Simply because she was stupid enough, to fall for a smooth-talking dude who used her. If Gamers knew he loved his girl-friend so much, he should have kept his pants zipped, like I said earlier!! Period.

Who knows what other kind of excuses & stories, Gamers gave to his girl-friend each time he had to be with the other chic? Abeg, make I hear word. If you are man enough to sleep with a chic, you should be man enough to marry her, when push comes to shove. Or was Gamers' girl-friend denying him sex, when they were dating? Was that what led him to take solace outside? C'mon, let's hear more excuses!!

Laudate, no one is trying to say that Gamers is a saint. At least, that's not what I meant. I could easily turn around and type the same things you typed, only changing the direction. e.g. did Gamer put a gun on the girl's head when they were having sex? Did he force himself on her? How come she did not think about using a condom or protecting herself from this? Abi, she is too young to know what happens when a man sleep with a woman without protection? Oh, she did not think she could get pregnant? See, we can look at this from different direction. At the end, we all need to choose the path to follow in life.

Now the deed is done and all he wants, is a cordial r'ship with her. I'll even give him some props for that. How many men get girls pregnant and just run away, never looking back?

At the end, let everyone think about what might happen, before they do anything, because we'll all be the one to face the consequences, whether right or wrong, bad or good.

YES! its OK but I'll advice you to make sure all your funeral arrangement is completely planned! Don't forget to will everything to the unborn child too! that's if you have anything!

The poster has not told us whether it was unprotected sex or not, but den who says that with protection, one cannot get pregnant? so either way, da deed is done, the Poster can't be telling me that she loves the g/f so much because if he really does, whether da g/f was refusing him sex or not, he would not even think of sleeping around if he was still with the g/f, Good luck sha but you're lucky it is not me

@theopops
Thanks for your support. And I know what you mean. I know that I hold the most blame and I accept. i'm not denying it. But faced with this, I wont sink deeper into it. vexes my soul to leave my girlfriend. And I pray that I dont hurt baby-momma if I marry her.

@ezinwannem
I laugh at your comment 'Good luck sha but you're lucky it is not me '. If a guy really decides to leave the pergnancy and not accept it, what would you do? Hired assassins maybe? Or visit a herbalist?

I promised to stay by her side irrespective of whatever happens. And I'm doing just that. Crucify me if you want to, but my heart is clear!

Yeah hire an assassin!!! You never jam!! Just be careful. Stay with one at a time. Stop doing dilly dallying with girls!!

Again, if I were your gf, I would have dumped you like it's hot. You are good to your gf right? So?! You should as well stay with her instead of wandering to another pot to pour your water. Once a cheating bf is always a cheating bf/husby.
yeah I will dump you real good not caring whether you are nice to me, have money (I can have mine) or whatever she sees in you that’s making her stay after you've sown your wild oat!!!
Down the line, your current gf who is accepting you now will surely teach you a lesson, just watch.

Like Ezinwannem, you are lucky it wasn't me

I am quite happy that people have pointed it out that what you did was wrong and you are quite aware of that now,kudos to your girl,because i can't see myself forgiving a guy for this,its quite a common mistake and i wouldn't expect him to repeat thesame mistake,this topic has once again left me curious with the question that why do guys cheat on a girl they claimed to love,

Amyway,@ Gamers
Its not always advisable to marry a girl because you impregnated her but iits complicated and sincerely,i don't know how to go about that.
But another thing i'd like you to consider is that do you really think your girlfriend has actually forgiven you and you think this won't pop up later in your marriage,won't she bring it up every time you have an argument or she makes mistakes,please consider all these and other necessary things before you make your decisions.

A lady's heart is very flexible and one more thing,you can never forget such a thing,think about it yourself,

All the best though,

If you visit the man and you come out with your head still sitting on your neck, that means you are lucky. If it is mandatory that you have to visit him then go to Niger Delta and hire some militants for protection.

Thanks all.

I've heard all your comments and I have just got to a conclusion.

According to our arrangements, i was supposed to be there for her always. As a friend that cared for her. To be a good daddy. For the child. If she'll let me, I will. If we can't come to an agreement on that and she insists I must marry her, then that will be arranged. And I move on with my life!

I bother about the issues no more!

That s**t is deep!!!!If can't believe U let your 'Johnny' put U 4 trouble.What can I say?Do the right thing.

what happened has aleady happened but u will soon have a child that needs u to think the best for him or her, u have chosen ur way and made ur mistake but u cant have a child pay for it, think whats best for ur coming baby cause he/she is part of u and it might mean that u give up ur dream girl, we all have the freedom to choose our actions but we must take responsibility for the results i am sorry for u cause its hard task but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, go see ur childs granddad think how best u can do

@havanah
Thanks for your advice. Understand the implications of my actions and the responsibilities that lie upon me. And I'll do the best that I can. I promise. But I can't do as you have suggested. I can't leave my GF. My heart is too weak to do that!

@topic
Come on dude this isn't the end of the world, you made a terrible mistake which resulted to you bring a loving and innocent baby into this world.

Why don't you be the best father you could be, by loving and taking proper care of the baby. Don't let him or her(since we don't know the gender of the baby yet)go through pain because of your own mistakes.

As for your current girlfriend, if she loves like she claims, the girl will stand by you and love that baby like it her own.

Don't make another mistake by marrying your babymama oh, its obvious you don't love her, but plz take good care of her by providing the things she and the baby needs. Lol somethings u will wanna dislike her as time goes on, becos u will feel she's taking advantage of you by asking for to much, don't complain oh but go with the flow instead.

Well at one point sha u got to meet the parents, soon or later your babymama mother will be calling you demaning you to take care of her grandchild.

I know someone that happens to be in your shoes, if you see what he has to go through just to see his baby (I isn't easy oh) and his allowed to see the baby on sundays lol(the baby grandmother made the rule). so get ready to first oh becos the real battel begins when the baby is born

your girlfriend will surely leave you one of these days, you will see sooner or later in one way or the later, days or months or years, you will surely see. next time, stay with one which you claim to love and don't go digging around holes and claim you love your girlfriend! and be very careful as you talk around you love your girlfriend, you can never finish knowing a woman's heart.

U jst gat 2 do it even if they kill u b rest assure u hv an issue.

macro:

your GF will surely leave you one of these days, you will see sooner or later in one way or the later, days or months or years, you will surely see. next time, stay with one which you claim to love and don't go digging around holes and claim you love your girlfriend! and be very careful as you talk around you love your GF, you can never finish knowing a woman's heart.

That is a damn lie , where are you getting your facts from , come one their are ladies that will stand by the guy, no matter how hard it is .

i won't blame macro for what was said. there are much than meet the eyes. the way the guy is talking about his girlfriend leaves much to be desired. he should have known he has a girlfriend before going to lay another lady only to keep talking about his heart been with the girlfriend. there many sexual diseases out there and many fatherless children!! the world don't need more.

it's not a matter of standing by a guy but a matter of doing the right thing. stick with your real lady and don't go around pregnanting girls. children are better in a relationship. i don't support what he did and won't. as a lady, it is good for guys to stick with one. a gun wasn't held to his head when he was enjoying those rounds with the poor girl.

@Gamers.

There are lots of crazy ppl on the internet. Some of these people ain't what talking shit about some other ppl's situation but for the freedom they get here they just post without thinking. A lotta ppl around here have never been in tough situations. Imagine what the internet anonymousity has given several physcho's and under-age kids to give advices at times on forums.

I've been there. Done it. I can't blame you for what happened neither are my tryna blame your girlfriend. Omode o de ibi eru, ni eru o ba. Shit happens. I'm not the playa playa type. But some men could be so unfortunate with little bends they tryna take. Forget about condoms!!! If a woman is ready to have a baby for you, she WILL. I dont wanna get into that here.

1. Cancel that notion that your girlfriend as forgiven you. She'll never forget about and whenever she gets a chance to hit you back she'll console her conscience justifying with what you did in the past. She's a woman. The taught of it will keep hunting. She'll get even, even after 50years. Only if you dont care. Though she'll be smarter. Women are very dangerous. They make men father children that are not theirs without knowing. Married women are more dangerous!!!! Smarter and more coded.

2. Dont marry that woman (baby mama) if you dont love her. Its gonna burn you both. Ruin your life. Make you miserable and affect the child. You'll hate to go home from work. You'll start drinking at everynight so u can sleep immediately u get on bed. You'll grow old very quickly. Because you frown 12hrs everyday. And she'll use the little more opportunity you spend with her to quickly try raise another child. Hoping that will be the final seal for the marriage. Its gonna get worser. And you'll keep fucking your ex-girlfriend in the background.

3. Be WARNED!!!! Baby mama may call you later and tell you parents are mal-treating her and that the house is nomore convenient and she's moving over. Damn! Thats a final shackle tackle circle. Its hard to break loose from that. THere will be naming ceremony in your house and everybody will keep asking how was your family. Only if your mama can house her in the family house or u can take a little self-contained apartment for her. And make sure u dont sneak in to come top-in, you'll get trapped.

4. Take baby mama to your own mother for sampling. Those mama can see more than u can. Let your siblings know her. Get each one of their remarks. If your family dont accept her. Men nothing else.

5. TRy as much as possible to be around for the child. Frustrated single women train kids to hate their fathers. (You this stupid boy, I'll see maybe its the once in a month visit he pays you that will feed u for the rest of the month. Whenever u see him you'll start jumping around stupid idiot!!! )

6. A man is meant to be strong, full of activity, move on in life. You should have 99 problems but women should'nt be part of it. Our fathers have seen it all. THey've been there. If you're can handle it. (ANTI-POLYGAMIST I'm sorry for this one). You can marry her! (Her JACKPOT). But wait till u can get urself together. Mary someonelse from a very diverse background an Europian, Canadian or some Eyinbo sha. Must be far away from being black. And they must live in different countries. When Polygamy is done this way, the problem is very very very very minimal. You spend summer here and winter there. Catherine will never have anything to do with Olabisi. They wont just get into that regular naija to naija woman shit.

The most important is 1 - 5. Bro I feel you pain you can send me an email. I'll tell you somethings I can't say here. majormediainc@gmail.com

tEsLim:

@Gamers.

There are lots of crazy people on the internet. Some of these people ain't what talking shit about some other people's situation but for the freedom they get here they just post without thinking. A lotta people around here have never been in tough situations. Imagine what the internet anonymousity has given several physcho's and under-age kids to give advices at times on forums.

Oh plz shut the hell up , who gave you the audacity to call other people crazy!!!!shio

How do you know people aren't giving him advice based on an experience they went through or either a close relatives.

I didn't realize people has to be grownups before giving advice

so plz define a Forum for me then.

Do you think your comment was the best advice

The MoOdYLaDy have Spoken plz take NOTE.

Well since you've already impregnated the woman her and her family will be a part of your life forever. You might as well meet your child's grandfather, you will be seeing a lot of him for the next few decades. Good luck.

MoOdYLaDy:

That is a damn lie , where are you getting your facts from , come one their are ladies that will stand by the guy, no matter how hard it is .

I support the fact that some ladies will still stand by their man in times of trouble but this will definitely raise issues in later life because no woman will be willing to suffer for her man's mistake when she knew he could avoid it, it would have been better if this happened before they met each other,sometimes,we do some stuffs all in the name of love nad sometimes not actually love but in the name of 'where will i start from'.
Ask those that has been there and they will tell you what it looks like

tEsLim:

@Gamers.

There are lots of crazy people on the internet. Some of these people ain't what talking shit about some other people's situation but for the freedom they get here they just post without thinking. A lotta people around here have never been in tough situations. Imagine what the internet anonymousity has given several physcho's and under-age kids to give advices at times on forums.

This si not the best way to accuse people on a public froum like this,

tEsLim:

@Gamers.


1. Cancel that notion that your girlfriend as forgiven you. She'll never forget about and whenever she gets a chance to hit you back she'll

2. Dont marry that woman (baby mama) if you don't love her.

I rally support those two points,

Its a pity the innocent child will definitely suffer for this but try to minimise this,

hot chic:

I support the fact that some ladies will still stand by their man in times of trouble but this will definitely raise issues in later life because no woman will be willing to suffer for her man's mistake when she knew he could avoid it, it would have been better if this happened before they met each other,sometimes,we do some stuffs all in the name of love nad sometimes not actually love but in the name of 'where will i start from'.
[b]Ask those that has been there and they will tell you what it looks like[/b]This si not the best way to accuse people on a public froum like this,

Guess what I know someone in the same situation, its was hard for her in the beginning but not anymore, she now embraces the child like its hers and the baby was given her name, so my dear it isn’t hard like the way people making it seem.

If people keep continue thinking like this, what will happen to all the singles parents out there.

I dnt knw wat to tell this teslim or wat is his name. Shit

Are you guys paying that dummmy called teslim any mind

@ poster
abi you wan die??no try am oooooooooo,well u could,thats if u have dug your grave, especially when its the daughter of a soldier.then ur cup is full

@cutekittie

I've already said in my earlier post that I have gone to see him and he insists that I marry her.

@teslim & all
I understand you and take precautions. I'll take your comments very seriously. I dont want all to crumble thats why I try to be friends with babymomma. If she insists that I marry her, what should I do? If her family insists, what should I say? If my parents beckon, should I continue to refuse?
Hence my resolve to arrange a traditional marriage to calm nerves. But thats as far as I go! My parents could turn nasty if I dont heed this and not respond when I wanna tie the knot with my GF. I dont want to hurt my GF but if she takes too much meaning to this gesture, its a problem!

I've been nice to baby-momma , helping with plans per baby and all others. She knows if I got more, I'll give!

bros I will advice u like a big brotha - BE A MAN!!! . do whateva will make u happy. do not ever forego ur happiness becos u want to please anyone, neva!! If don't love dat baby mama then don't marry her. What d hell, it was a mistake and they shouldn't expect u to destroy ur life to make up for it? U can/should be there for d innocent baby and no more!! d babymama is (i suppose) an adult and can take care of herself!! She is also a guilty party in dis case. ABI U RAPE AM?!!

As for ur ever loving/faithful GF, she's faking it until she can either dump or poison ur sorry ass!! MY advise? DUMP HER TOO!! Men u got ur whole life ahead of you and its perfectly human to make mistakes along the path of life, Take control of ur life (unless u're a one of those Mummy's boys wit no liver! ) and move on!!!

For the self righteous, i-will-never-make-a-mistake fakers that are harrasing u on this thread, forget them. We are all human and we make mistakes, but it doesn't mean we should kill ourselves in trying to correct them especially when no human life was lost,

sorry for d rant, jus think dis is a non-issue

when you are faced with temptation, your life flashes before you. All those you hold dear, all those you might hurt and all the serious complications that come with 'away matches'. I really have no advice for you. Sort yourself out of the mess you created bro. Goodluck!