being:

klass99, this is a recipe for disaster esp in marriage!! @ OP Take note two wrongs will crash the marriage in no time.. that's d direction 2 wrongs will take you.. esp with someone like her who did not grow up seeing a marriage work.

Kobojunkie:
Your response does not connect in anyway as a rebuttal to what I said.

Again,Already solved? You have never been in a serious relationship before, have you?

By the way, very "Christian" of you to mention women waiting to have sex with you when queried about relationship. I can see how much sex is no longer on your mind thanks to your following your sexual purity doctrines.

Klass99:


Aww......you genuinely sound like a good man. It's sad you are not getting the love and attention you want or deserve.

Actions speak louder than words! Perhaps you need to change the narrative for her to get better results in your marriage.

Notice I didn't say talk to her or verbally communicate your concerns. Show her what you can do by your actions, show her that two can play this game she's playing. Don't buy into the narrative that two wrongs don't make a right.

From personal experience two wrongs do make a right - it is called giving people a dose of their own medicine, which usually pains them and they know not to mess with you again or they adjust their behaviour. But it's your call.

PeterObi4Presid:
■ Well, I'm not bothered about you judging me.. I really don't...cos I know where my heart is. U asking me if I had been in relationship is to what end? Telling u about sexual possibility should give u a clue I'm not a novice with women....
■ Relationship is a waste of time, energy, and purpose ...women are too selfish and vain

Whyzaid:
OP! There is a way you will assist your woman with home chores that will send a signal to her that you want her on your lap at night. Try to be more loving sir. And I could see that you don't know her love language and possibly she doesn't know yours too, the reason why you are complaining here

Kobojunkie:
The statement in bold is why a majority of you fail in relationships. So in your mind, you are convinced that because some have made sexual advances at you, it means you are more than trained in what serious relationships are?

2. Wow... what a conclusion and a generalization at that.

Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as all the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn***

PeterObi4Presid:

■ Does that statement even mean I've not been in a relationship or even married? I'm sure u can't handle a woman like I can... Women are waste of time most of the time....Men who can manage women well are men who don't take their nonsense or have attention or validation to give

Kobojunkie:
With your response... no point at all!

PeterObi4Presid:
■ I can see u love women a lot. Love women and u will present urself for manipulation

Kobojunkie:
Your conclusions are entirely wrong as always.

I am rather commanded by God to love all men and women as I love my own self. So it is against me to want to see the world as you do.

CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.

My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.

I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.

We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).

I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.

I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!

I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.

I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.

Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.

She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.

I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.

This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.

I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.

PeterObi4Presid:
■ There are different kind of love....
I was thinking u easily have romantic love with women...platonic is best when dealing with women

Klass99:


Thank you very much for confirming a fact of life, abeg chop knuckle 🤜. It works like magic if or when a person genuinely likes you.

It has nothing to do with revenge or unforgiveness, it is simply human nature and treating people with the same courtesy they repeatedly extend to you.

Kobojunkie:
Romantic love? None of what you described can be construed in any way as love as you seem to have a general disdain for women and that is of hate, not love..

Platonic is best when dealing with women? Anyways... moving on now....

PeterObi4Presid:
■ I don't have disdain for women
I have disdain for their manipulative tendency. Platonic relationship makes them uncomfortable especially when they feel you should be intimate with them.....It makes them question themselves...... this is from experience...
Women use sex as power too much...it's time men neutralise that power

Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as all the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn***

Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as all the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn***

Biglittlelois:



You know, I really need to start checking out people's profile before commenting on their threads, they will come here to form saint with no blemish, paint their wives or females generally as evil, I was already feeling pity for Op if not for your comment I saw that made me check his other thread,

Op is an upcoming pervert with pedo tendencies, I give the wife huge kudos for continuously living under the same roof with him.

Angelfrost:


Actually, I do that when the occasion calls for it... But, when it is clearly not, I counsel against.


Anyone who is better off single should stay single, while those clearly suited for the marriage journey should by all means get on board! None is better than the other!

being:

Those are relationships. In marriage, it can be very different. To be sure, constant retaliations like that is a leading cause of marriage breakdowns... OP get her(&u) counselling fast!!!

Kobojunkie:
1. Manipulative tendencies aren't traits unique to women in any way or form but you seem to have condemned all women by it indicating this is of general disdain for the gender and not of reason.

Anyways, no need to consider this any further.

PeterObi4Presid:
■ Manipulation by women is of special kind and quality for peculiar purpose of getting a leverage in relationship.
Not all men are aware of this weapon possessed by all women....A man becomes weak and feminised when he can't detect this manipulative streak and neutralise it. I still stand by my personal dislike for their manipulative flaw of character. No apologies or further explanation, and it will always inform my relationship with that gender. 99.9% of them posses that power

Kobojunkie:
All this fables are really not necessary since I can't get myself to see as you do dur to obvious restrictions in place --- Love thy neighbor as you love your own self ...

Klass99:


Aww......you genuinely sound like a good man. It's sad you are not getting the love and attention you want or deserve.

Actions speak louder than words! Perhaps you need to change the narrative for her to get better results in your marriage.

Notice I didn't say talk to her or verbally communicate your concerns. Show her what you can do by your actions, show her that two can play this game she's playing. Don't buy into the narrative that two wrongs don't make a right.

From personal experience two wrongs do make a right - it is called giving people a dose of their own medicine, which usually pains them and they know not to mess with you again or they adjust their behaviour. But it's your call.

PeterObi4Presid:
■ Ask Christ why he never married. Ask him why he said ■ if u leave your brother or wife for his sake u will reap aplenty now and in age to come... Does that mean he hated women...?
■ Stop making it seem I hate them... exposing their character flaw doesn't mean hatred....their are more important things...

pocohantas:


I didn't bother to finish reading his epistle to me. Suddenly his wife pulled knives. Soon enough he would say she brought BOMB to the house. That is how they thicken the plot with lies. Same old trick for Seun's traffic.

SenecaTheYonger:
But what were you doing at home all these while when your wife was taking care of the baby and house chores? Did you just sit there all day? Take 80% of her chores away and tell her to rest and watch her dump her pussy in your face.

You typed so much but it seems you only see your wife as a sex object, and that's how she feels. you throw money for her and throw prick, similar to a prostitute. Do you take care of the baby (and I don't mean money, but actually care for him by feeding it, changing daiper, carry it when crying, etc)? Do you joke with her through the day? Man, some of you are so boring, it's no wonder your wife gets depressed.

Have you even cooked for your wife before? Man, I tell you, you are the one that's the problem.

Don't be romantic oh, stay redpilled.

Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as all the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn***