I was reading through some topics and I just decided to hear the public's opinion on this. After-all, I am anonymous.

Let me start by saying I love my hubby so much. He is very very very protective of me, so I thought, but now I'm just wondering whether its over protectiveness or something else. I learnt how to drive just before I got married but my husband has refused me to drive, he said I'm too fragile so he prefers to employ a driver or take me to work. I have used 2 drivers in 2 months now (driver wahala), but he still says he not letting me drive.

Some months after our wedding I asked him to give me some bills to be paying monthly as my own share in our home but he said I should just save the money for later, he would tell me when to start, I koko use my small money to buy Gold( and he is complaining now ℓ☺ℓ, that I spend too much money on them), 

Now what really prompted this topic is : I recently got an allowance from the office, and being a good wife and mother, I offered to put the money in his project he is doing( building our house) but he refused saying he wants to build it alone without any input from me and advised I do something else with the money. He put the project on hold last year because of me as I had to change my delivery hospital to a very expensive one because of our fears, n this project is over a year oh, he said he is doing it on his own pace.

I respect his opinion but I don't why he doesn't like joint acc, or joint anything and I told him jokily if he is planning to take a second wife or if he dies his family will throw me out of his house maybe that's why he isn't letting me get involved financially in his project. Let me also add that he didn't let me bring my car( my mum bought for me) , to his house oh, so now everything that I have is actually his. I always jabb him that he is an old fashion guy.

So nairaland men, will you allow your wives assist you in building a house or did your working class wives who can afford to assist(even a little financially or any other way)  in building and if no please why? And if you are a woman did you offer to assist your husband in any project and how did it go? N I must help my husband by force ,any advice how. Just serious answers only. Thanks

Men will always complain about certain things. They tell you to keep your money and use it as you please, when you decide to buy clothes and shoes to look good, they start complaining again.  Don't worry, everytime my hubby looks into the spare room ,he comes to me and is like ''I think you've added a few more things there cos the last time I was there I did not see some things I am seeing now''.

Men should take care of their wives no matter how little. Some men have refused to buy their own house cos they are scared of paying the mortgage alone. I wonder where the men of the old are now sef, men like our parents that took good care of their wives. Not all this dayokanu new millenium kinda men.

Me, I love me some shoes. Let him complain from now till judgement day, it changes nothing.

As for the driving part, I don't think I'd let a driver drive me. I won't feel comfy and neither do I see any wrong in letting you drive the car your own mother bought for you when you were still single(Is it just me or does someone else find it disrespectful? Oh well). She's your mother and not some random''toaster''. If it's a RR sports, me and him will fight over that one oooo. For someone like you that just learnt how to drive, you need to drop the ''madam'' hat and get right into it,if you don't wanna forget all the stuffs you've learnt. A lot of women drive themselves daily, madam don dey fade lol. Drivers are not my thing.

Enjoy your marriage

House project? Nope, other projects? Yes I have contributed and you honestly don't wanno know how much we fought before I was able to. One time I decided to sulk and just ignored him completely that was when he knew I was serious. One thing he does though(he thinks I don't know)is, he buys me things worth about the same amount I contributed.

One thing for sure is, I don't just buy material things because I can afford, I most of the time ask for his opinion (esp when I want something huge) and a lot of the time I disturb him for things I can afford. Call me old fashioned but I just don't wanna rub shoulders with my man Or rub this ''hey, I work and can afford this things with or without your blessing''  line in his face.

Call it experience, the man is just afraid what joint anything might bring in the future. If he doesn't want you to contribute to his own project why don't you start your own project? you are complaining of what other women are praying for. Women!!!!!! you can't please them. Enjoy your husband and trust me keep that money as he said, you would definitely need it later.

The house part is a bit suspicious

,

How long have you been married? You probably have bigger problems than you think. It sound like what one will do if there's no trust, which is really a very important glue that holds any relationship together

happimis:

but he said I should just save the money for later, he would tell me when to start,I koko use my small money to buy Gold( and he is complaining now ℓ☺ℓ, that I spend too much money on them),

why dont u think of something else to put the money into. why gold? Women and Gold, na wa ooooo

Find a good investment for the money. I am not sure why he is refusing for you to spend your money. Put away the money for your retirement

@ Poster you can also buy lands in your name, that you can resell and make some profits in them, since your hubby wants to do his thing, there is nothing wrong in doing your thing too, especially if he is in full support. About the driving thing, i used to be that way, my hubby took me to every where and any where, would take me to work in the morning and pick me up after work, no be person tell am to teach me and get me my own car, when i wan carry wahala kill am, so with time, he will let you drive

lady, start saving all the money from your work and the one he is giving you. maybe raining days ahead, have plan B sistah cuz the building 'our house' without asking for your imput how you even want your bedroom, kitchen and bathroom to look like is
is he helping you do laundry, wash dish, cook meals, change diaper, read to the baby, bath and feed the baby, take you out to movies, out of town dates etc? just so no be only driver and kudi him dey provide

Your husband is an old fashioned  man now in my humble opinion that is a good thing.
I don't spend my money on anything in the house as well maybe sometimes i buy orobopale and that has really helped my businesses to grow.
I really like that your hubby loves to protect you and provide for you that is what a man in love does, i know its 21 century and you feel like you should contribute , by buying some things but that MIGHT cause trouble in your home. Invest your money in what ever you feel comfortable  in, who says he has to know .
The best way to repay him is to pray for him, feed him, keep the house peaceful and harmonious, show him gratitude and praise him.
Pump that ego let him be enjoying cloud plenty.
Driving, i hardly drive so i have nothing to say to that i love the chauffeur idea gan ni.
My dear enjoy your life only good things lie ahead.

Wow, thank u so much. I ve gained 2 or more things from ur responses.
@ samtoye - I'm not complaining
@nnw niger -i ve been married for almost 2years( next year)

^^^^^
Stop buying Gold. Invest Wisely.
Come to think of it, with the way Gold is in the market today, it seems as if its even an investment

exactly the same fight I am in with my hubby right now, he is building a house and doesnt want me to contribute a dime. men and thier ego sef, now I dont know what to actually do with the money as I dont wanna waste it on gold, I thought of investing in a landed property but I dont know how he would feel about it. dont want him to think am robbing shoulders with him.

Demdem:

^^^^^
Stop buying Gold. Invest Wisely.
Come to think of it, with the way Gold is in the market today, it seems as if its even an investment

Gold is about the best investment possible but buying as an investment is different from ka ri mi,
None is bad just each serves different purposes.

^^^
Yeah, i tot as much.

OP, wake-up! You had better start collecting your money together and start to do things for yourself. I am not wishing you ill O but it is not a bad thing if your children inherit a couple of houses from their mother or if she successfully set-up a business they can inherit.

Good for you that he allows you to work and you have a good income, start looking at assets o. You know yourself better than anybody, look for money-making opportunities and grow them. Don't just be happy that you are comfy at the moment.

my dear fix ur money in d bank,trust me there must be a rainy day or daysss.i guess he dont want u to contribute cos of ego and pride,he wouldnt want u to start rubbing shoulders with him in future cos of ur contributions,he wants u to have full respect for him and not call him a USELESS MAN someday or use d usual AFTERALL i helped u do dis and dat,hes just scared of the unknown which is likable to all men,inasmuch as he dont need ur contributions,he knows his wife has money somewhere,so be wise dearest, as for the driver issue,somebody talked abt mistrust in ur marriage,i want to say here that hes yet to trust u fully,he feels relaxed knowing dat somebody is watching ur back at ur every move.with prayers,love,understanding and ur attitutude,all these will be history sooner than u think,all d best