What is the craziest thing you have done so a guest who has overstayed can leave?

When I was in Alakahia, one of my guys came to see me, he said he’ll spend just one night and go back to town. It was during ASUU strike so my roommates had gone home, I was the only one around school, womanizing.

One night became 3 nights. He kept promising to go the next day. 3 nights became one week. I couldn’t even womanise properly because he was always at home snoring whenever a woman came to the house. I started looking for an excuse to see whether he would leave.

I told him that I was going to Degema for a meeting and would be back the next day but baba said he’ll wait for me until I come back. So I told him where to drop the key if he was leaving in case.

I didn’t go to any meeting obviously so I went to another of my friend’s house to hide until the next day.

I got home the next morning and saw that this guy had already boiled my last rice and sardine and was sleeping.

That morning was a Saturday so I told him I was going to town hoping that he’ll say he was going but baba wanted to see me off to the junction until I got a vehicle.

So I entered a cab going to Rumuokoro but came down at Assemblies junction and walked to another of my friend’s house and stayed until evening. I called my neighbors occasionally to check if he was still around and they even said he was with a woman.

My friend that I was with asked me what was going on and I told him and he laughed and told me to leave the matter to him, that I should go home and wait that the guy would leave that night.

I got home and baba was even gisting me how he gave my last juice to the babe that came to fornicate with him while I was in town. E no know say I dey vex for am.

By the time we were about to sleep by like 10pm, we heard a knock on the door and two hefty boys smelling of weed entered my room with machete and pushed my guy inside.

They said they were looking for “Sister Patricia, the bagger that slept with their guy’s babe”. We said we didn’t know who sister Patricia was and they said that they will be back by midnight and if we don’t provide Sister Patricia by then, they will kill us. They left and my guy began to pack his bags immediately. I also packed a bag and my guy and I got to Alakahia junction that night. He hugged me and took a cab going to Choba.

Immediately his cab left, I burst out laughing and laughed to myself until I got back to my room. I tried calling my friend to tell him that the plan had worked, his number wasn’t going through so I called one of my babes to come over and she did.

Freedom at last! We were lying down naked when she asked of my guy that was with me and I gave her gist of how I arranged with my friend to scare him to leave. Immediately she heard the name “Sister Patricia” she paused and got up, apparently startled and began to dress up.

I asked her what happened and she said that she was indeed dating a cult boy and she saved my name as Sister Patricia on her phone so he won’t suspect her.

Lmaooo. I don die.

Wait, so you mean...

At that moment, the boys came back and started knocking on the door.

“Patricia, we don come again oh”

I looked at this babe. So a whole Port Harcourt boy like me, I came to this world as a man but I will die as a woman named Sister Patricia...

Kai

So did you later die?

Turned the generator over to the other side a little but it didn't work so I had to go nuclear, so I locked the fuel guage so that fuel won't enter the gen all. No be guest go finish my fuel dey watch tv. Gen went off on its own and man had to leave.

If you know, you know

Oga patricia, you try. Chaii...