I am a vivid fan of nairaland and will want your help. I'm a man in my early thirties married with two kids. Now the Genesis of my issue was when I was cheated on my wife, before the birth of my first child. I apologized and thought it were cool but she has never failed to remind of it whenever we gat issues. She disrespects me now and even invite her male best friend over to our matrimonial home. And when I told her to stop inviting the man over she refused and threatened me that I wouldn't do anything that she will invite him. She went on and on telling me that our marriage was a marriage of pretence and it will continue that way because of the kids. If not for the kids she wld hv left me. She has no respect, trust for me. She told me so many things hurtful things. Guys is it right to leave the ouse for her and move out or infact am lost.... Please what can I do

wahala

You made mistake by apologising for cheating

I don't encourage involving 3rd party into relationships however, since you value your home, why not involve both parents? If you do that and she insists, for your sanity, biko seek separation in the least.

Pls i want to know something na you get the house or she? If na you get d house or apartment you are a simp big one and know that your marriage remain 2% or i can say don end, she sef don even open her mouth tell u. Oga find your level divorce no dey kill person

God I love these types of posts. You reap what you sow, dickhead.

Here for the comments as usual.

Bro the women usual style of going tru hubby fones that was how she found out

garriAndsugar:
You made mistake by apologising for cheating

Thanks for this but don't think it's necessary I don't want our parents involved even though she told her mum abt it

GboyegaD:
I don't encourage involving 3rd party into relationships however, since you value your home, why not involve both parents? If you do that and she insists, for your sanity, biko seek separation in the least.

Pussyhole

Sharonstone7719:
God I love these types of posts. You reap what you sow, dickhead.

Be like say na she pay Ur dowry ooo


Too many weak men...

You are getting the fruit of your cheating yet complaining, if she was the one that cheated you will do worse than what she's doing to you, so get used to it or leave.

The male bestie sef wetin come be e problem??
As it is now, I think your marriage is now an open one except both of you are ready to listen to each other.

You have no business with marriage if you know you aren't ready to be committed to one.
May God restore your marriage.

No mind the simp

SHINJA:
Be like say na she pay Ur dowry ooo


Too many weak men...

louistearer:
I am a vivid fan of nairaland and will want your help. I'm a man in my early thirties married with two kids. Now the Genesis of my issue was when I was cheated on my wife, before the birth of my first child. I apologized and thought it were cool but she has never failed to remind of it whenever we gat issues. She disrespects me now and even invite her male best friend over to our matrimonial home. And when I told her to stop inviting the man over she refused and threatened me that I wouldn't do anything that she will invite him. She went on and on telling me that our marriage was a marriage of pretence and it will continue that way because of the kids. If not for the kids she wld hv left me. She has no respect, trust for me. She told me so many things hurtful things. Guys is it right to leave the ouse for her and move out or infact am lost.... Please what can I do

i am sure u people aren’t in Nigeria right?

If u happen to b in Nigeria n all these is happening then u dey craze

Just wait for when she will kill u, u people turn to sissy all in d name of forming woke n gentleman

She don see say na better mumu u b na y, so if u come give girl belle she self go marry another man for inside your house?


Your wife dey invite man enter ur house n u still dey form gentleman

As in, who raised all these mumu men self

garriAndsugar:
You made mistake by apologising for cheating

I even forgot to ask how she got to know op cheated

Maybe all those men who will kneel down n start saying wetin dem no suppose say

louistearer:
Pussyhole

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa you are a loser. Your wife revenge game is on point and I’m proud of her.

If you must cheat you have to be very smart about it. Wifey sef fit don cheat on you with the bestie. Why don't you talk to the bestie; tell him to stop visiting your home.

What was the nature of your cheating (sexual or emotional affair, or both)? In either case, you not only broke her trust with your actions but you disrespected your marital vows. I don't condone her keeping a male best friend or inviting him to your home but don't try to make yourself look like the victim when all of these stated with your infidelity and perhaps you still have female friends yourself. It seems Nigerian relationships and marriages aren't complete without friends of the opposite sex, but most of you actually can't take what you dish.

Your wife hasn't forgiven you for cheating on her, if it possible you guys should see a professional marriage counselor who can help your marriage.

garriAndsugar:
You made mistake by apologising for cheating

Lol the guts though, so if he had not apologised her attitude wouldn't have changed?

Jovialjune1:



Lol the guts though, so if he had not apologised her attitude wouldn't have changed?

As a man when you cheat you have to do it with confidence..
Instead of begging he should have replied her, And So?, Mtcheww

garriAndsugar:

As a man when you cheat you have to do it with confidence..
Instead of begging he should have replied her, And So?, Mtcheww

The problem with you guys is your audacity, which ends here,

If you are a product of a side chick I understand your guts,

If your father behaved that way to your mother, I understand your need for everyone to have a dysfunctional family like yours

If it is none of the above, and you simply want to prove to your fellow dregs here that you are not a simp, but a man with half balls because your life offline is nothing of worth, then by all means have at it, after all the Internet is simply THE INTERNET, it is not real life.

While I agree with others that you are reaping the consequences of your adultery, it is advisable for your wife to move on from the marriage than 'revenge' or become like you.

If she is not sleeping with the best friend, she is expending a lot of emotional energy to maintain the facade and dream up things to 'pepper' you.

That energy is better channelled towards becoming something for her self and taking care of her kids.

You cannot at this stage claim you don't want 3rd party interference if you still want the marriage to work.

The respect and trust you want now has to be rigorously earned as you have broken same before.

Engage her parents, apologise to them for breaking their trust in you and let them help you engage your wife for resolution which would be best done in your absence.

Her parents, not yours: you want true resolution and not 'bullying her into shaping up'.

In addition to her parents, you can also explore marriage therapists and counsellors.

Jovialjune1:



The problem with you guys here is your audacity, which ends here,

If you are a product of a side chick I understand your guts,

If your father behaved that way to your mother, I understand your need for everyone to have a dysfunctional family like yours

If it is none of the above, and you simply want to prove to your fellow dregs here that you are not a simp, but a man with half balls because your life offline is nothing of worth, then by all means have at it, after all the Internet is simply THE INTERNET, it is not real life.

I still stand with what Im saying.. No man should apologise for cheating. If e pain you too much you fit break your phone screen

garriAndsugar:

I still stand with what Im saying.. No man should apologise for cheating. If e pain you too much you fit break your phone screen

You talk too much. Keep your opinion to your pocket.

Op please ignore this person like plague. He's likely in his teens

louistearer:
Thanks for this but don't think it's necessary I don't want our parents involved even though she told her mum abt it

at this point, you have no choice than to invite a third party. Not necessarily her/your parents. Perhaps someone trustworthy, someone she respect alot.

Thank you for this I appreciate you. Thanks

bukatyne:
While I agree with others that you are reaping the consequences of your adultery, it is advisable for your wife to move on from the marriage than 'revenge' or become like you.

If she is not sleeping with the best friend, she is expending a lot of emotional energy to maintain the facade and dream up things to 'pepper' you.

That energy is better channelled towards becoming something for her self and taking care of her kids.

You cannot at this stage claim you don't want 3rd party interference if you still want the marriage to work.

The respect and trust you want now has to be rigorously earned as you have broken same before.

Engage her parents, apologise to them for breaking their trust in you and let them help you engage your wife for resolution which would be best done in your absence.

Her parents, not yours: you want true resolution and not 'bullying her into shaping up'.

In addition to her parents, you can also explore marriage therapists and counsellors.

The marriage is dead

Kindly leave for your mental health sake