camrygmail: Mrs Chima,

I am happy you responded. i calmly reject your stance and I say again your statement does not apply to everyone.

Oh yes! you have right to your opinion and so do I (like i stated before). what I choose to know as the truth may differ from what you chose to know as the truth. I would be a tyrant to impose my truth on EVERYONE that being said. i have a right to say and post that i don't support Mrs Chima Opinion and trust me I am not in anyway beign defensive or selective.

Good luck to you.
Camry...

To the other ladies on their TTC journey. I pray God proves Himself in your lives.

Whatever....suit yourself. You are right...the truth and reality isn't for everyone. Noted.

Let move it on people.

Mrs Chima,

You make me laugh!!! You're so funny. Will you go round to a disabled person saying not everyone is meant to see/walk /talk or do whatever they cannot do. You're so insensitive, you don't go round posting on a TTC thread about stuff like that. It's up to the individual/couple to do whatever is best suited to them. if couples want to adopt then it's their choice not your place to tell them. Pls keep your silly opinion to yourself.

You can imagine this silly woman going to a couple who just lost their child and saying - not everyone is meant to have a child in her squeaky voice. Are you God? I hate it when people think they know a lot and sit on their high horse because they think they have it all and she is now using the reality card.

Anyway peeps this is so inspirational, thought i would share...

I Will Be A Wonderful Mother

There are women who become mothers without effort,
without thought,
without patience or loss,
and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.

I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover.

I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.

My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.

I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.
-Author Unknown

10 Things You Should Not Say to a Friend Experiencing Infertility
1. Pregnant yet? If your friend is pregnant, she'll tell you when she's ready. Don't keep asking her how it's going. Let her tell you in her own time.
2. It could be worse. To a couple who wants children, it really can't be worse.
3. Haven't you done enough? It is up to your friend to determine when enough is enough.
4. Focus on the other parts of your life. This is really tough for a woman with infertility problems to do. For some women, her desire for a child becomes her life.
5. Think of all the fun things you can do if you don't have children. If the couple didn't want children, they would not be going to the trouble they are to have them.
6. How much is this costing you? This is none of your business!
7. Are you sure you chose the best doctor? Don't question your friend's medical choice unless she asks your opinion.
8. Just relax. Infertility is a medical condition, not a psychological one.
9. You can always adopt. The couple already knows this. They are going through the expense and trouble of infertility treatments because that is the path they have chosen. At some point they may consider adoption, but not now.
10. When my friend couldn't get pregnant... Your friend doesn't need to hear what worked for other people. Her efforts to conceive are hers alone.

Mrs Chima (ITK) pls read no 9 and digest it slowly. It should probably serve as your dinner tonight

Beetle: Mrs Chima,

You make me laugh!!! You're so funny. Will you go round to a disabled person saying not everyone is meant to see/walk /talk or do whatever they cannot do. You're so insensitive, you don't go round posting on a TTC thread about stuff like that. It's up to the individual/couple to do whatever is best suited to them. if couples want to adopt then it's their choice not your place to tell them. Pls keep your silly opinion to yourself.

You can imagine this silly woman going to a couple who just lost their child and saying - not everyone is meant to have a child in her squeaky voice. Are you God? I hate it when people think they know a lot and sit on their high horse because they think they have it all and she is now using the reality card.

No...I am not God and never said I was but the truth hurts I see. You haven't made your point..it is typical....it will be okay boo boo.

Beetle: 10 Things You Should Not Say to a Friend Experiencing Infertility
1. Pregnant yet? If your friend is pregnant, she'll tell you when she's ready. Don't keep asking her how it's going. Let her tell you in her own time.
2. It could be worse. To a couple who wants children, it really can't be worse.
3. Haven't you done enough? It is up to your friend to determine when enough is enough.
4. Focus on the other parts of your life. This is really tough for a woman with infertility problems to do. For some women, her desire for a child becomes her life.
5. Think of all the fun things you can do if you don't have children. If the couple didn't want children, they would not be going to the trouble they are to have them.
6. How much is this costing you? This is none of your business!
7. Are you sure you chose the best doctor? Don't question your friend's medical choice unless she asks your opinion.
8. Just relax. Infertility is a medical condition, not a psychological one.
9. You can always adopt. The couple already knows this. They are going through the expense and trouble of infertility treatments because that is the path they have chosen. At some point they may consider adoption, but not now.
10. When my friend couldn't get pregnant... Your friend doesn't need to hear what worked for other people. Her efforts to conceive are hers alone.

Mrs Chima (ITK) pls read no 9 and digest it slowly. It should probably serve as your dinner tonight

I have read what you said and you didn't say anything I didn't know. No thanks...I will not have number 9 for dinner.

Thank goodness adoption is an option.

Mrs..Chima:


Whatever....suit yourself. You are right...the truth and reality isn't for everyone. Noted.

Let move it on people.

Camrygmail's reaction: laughs really hard, gets up, dust off her shoulders and walks out with her Head high, singing Jill Scott's "living my life like its golden".

Mrs Chima ooo,i had to go back a few pages to see where the anger was coming from. Well madame i must say that statement Camry highlighted is what has fueled the fire here. On a ttc thread, where people spending tens of thousands of dollars to have children and you write this my sister as a mother you could have done better ooo. This is not the place for such a statement and thats the truth. Then rubbing your kids in the face of these folks saying you'l exchange them. I know its a joke but man, it was in bad taste again. I guess you have never battled infertility so you dont know the mental anguish that is involved in this process. Personally i have been their, I now have a son who is the love of my life and pregnant again. But this took over 7 years of trying befor i could have called myself a mother. So do i understand where the people on this thread is coming from yes i do all to well. I was even contepmlating ivf, was about to start teh process then i found out i was pregnant with my son. Look i dont want to bash you and i am a firm beleiver in adoption but their is a time and place to make that recommendation and i dont think this thread is the appropriate place.
Infertility sensitivity training for Mrs. chima Complete

camrygmail:

Camrygmail's reaction: laughs really hard, gets up, dust off her shoulders and walks out with her Head high, singing Jill Scott's "living my life like its golden".

Good. Muuuuah.

agiboma: Mrs Chima ooo,i had to go back a few pages to see where the anger was coming from. Well madame i must say that statement Camry highlighted is what has fueled the fire here. On a ttc thread, where people spending tens of thousands of dollars to have children and you write this my sister as a mother you could have done better ooo. This is not the place for such a statement and thats the truth. Then rubbing your kids in the face of these folks saying you'l exchange them. I know its a joke but man, it was in bad taste again. I guess you have never battled infertility so you dont know the mental anguish that is involved in this process. Personally i have been their, I now have a son who is the love of my life and pregnant again. But this took over 7 years of trying befor i could have called myself a mother. So do i understand where the people on this thread is coming from yes i do all to well. I was even contepmlating ivf, was about to start teh process then i found out i was pregnant with my son. Look i dont want to bash you and i am a firm beleiver in adoption but their is a time and place to make that recommendation and i dont think this thread is the appropriate place.
Infertility sensitivity training for Mrs. chima Complete

Thank goodness adoption is still an option.

Read all these,just wanted to say that some of the greatest men in d bible were born by women who waited for a time for their own. @ Mrs chima every1s time 'll come if they don't give up and not only that our children wld be great

all these hue and cry about reality and insensitivity reminded me of my sister and her story. she married late to start with and then started a titanic struggle with infertility. she took every manner of treatment and prayed all she could. she spent until she was koboless. she worried until she became very ill. we could not say where de infertility was coming from as our dear mother had twelve of us and our dear grandmother even did better.

Who is beating their chest about being infertile, isn't that the reason the whole thread was created in the first place, so we can support one another. I beg you to try and post whatever you posted on fertilityfriends.co.uk or any other infertility forum. I'm quite sure you won't but because you're a black fool you think you can hijack this thread with your wicked words. You're very wicked and insensitive.

And what point are you trying to make Madam L, so many insensitive people in this world.

I'm out!!!!!!!!!

typing with an annoying phone. we all started hinting on adoption and my sister and her husband did not accept and so the battle went on until doctors said they didnt know what else to do. meanwhile time was flying by. my sister first shifted ground and her husband stood his ground. then years later the husband said yes but insisted on adopting a boy. that was when my very quiet and peaceful sister raised her voice and started crying out loud.

by the time my sister and her husband accepted what was the reality and adopted a baby girl my sister was forty six and half years old and her husband was fifty. now that adorable girl is two years old and my sister is forty eight and i am two years younger than her. she now has to cope with a tot and like i said earlier she lost most of her health money and vitality to the battle. i do believe she spent too much time on the other options. she even accepts that herself.

my sister is now an apostle of deciding fast ib these issues and facing fate early. another sister now thirty is also battling infertility but we have all learnt and the decision will be faster this time. she plans to adopt early and if the great one gives her biological kids she will also be very grateful. i experienced great grace. i had three but there are huge unintended gaps in between one kid and another and stopped birth at age thirty two.

my two cents. there is a time to stop and take action in another direction. an adopted baby is as precious as a biological kid and i know that from watching my sister her husband and their daughter. the man and the girl are like salt and palm oil and to think he was the one that delayed in deciding. can the mrs chima bashing stop for a moment while we all think about what is the truth and reality of our lives. she may have been too blunt but my sister would give anything to have acted faster.

Madam L and Mrs Mrs Chima, pls open a thread on Adoption or other options to ICSI/IVF. Pls don't derail this thread. Thanks for the advice. I'm sure people have been moved by your sisters story and should start their adoption process ASAP.

Walks out of the thread and get on the phone to my local council.

Beetle!

All my TTC sisters in the house, my candid advice is to ignore mrs Chima and her silly comments. God knows how to reward her kind of people and their ego. Adoption is not bad if you can cope with it but rubbing it on peoples faces that not everyone is meant to have children shows how shallow minded some people can be. After reading all her other comments, am forced to believe only a computer virus can write most of those things since they dont have a heart neither do they have feelings but if its a human being, then whoever it is obviously doesnt have a heart. There are people who are very fertile but still adopt because they love children. I've always told my hubby about adoption alongside my biological children because I grew up in a home filled with several children even though my mum only had 3. Today every one calls her mummy because she has made something out of their life and even when I couldnt conceive, quite a number of them want to be surrogate mum for me because of the way my mum treated them while growing up with us (most them are married with several kids and doing well in their field of study).
I have started my adoption process already before I took in and am still in the process because my hubby knows my heart that I love children. I still visit orphanages in my area in my free time to play with all the kids I've grown fond of during my ttc days. It is because of this singular reason,
Lets keep the faith that God will give us our own if that is what we desire and if in the process we decide to adopt, we should also pray for God's divine direction so we will not regret it nor make any mistakes while choosing.

@ Mrs Chima, if not all women are meant to have children, why did God say "Neither male nor female shall be barren amongst you" why not "Some shall be barren amongst you" God has made every woman equally fruitful that's why we were all born with our reproductive organs complete to fulfil God's command(Be fruitful and multiply). Delay isn't denial. Every woman longs to experience the process of conception to delivery. Adoption is certainly an option but not without exploring other possibilities of having a child of your own. It brings a sense of fulfillment and adequacy as a woman. Please ladies let's get back to the essence of this thread.

hello ladies, i ve decided to ignore comments frm mrs chimma and her likes because there's no need flogging a dead horse.i wonder what u tink is reality that we r denying.i think our realities is wat we make of it. the fact that we go through infertility does not mean we dont have other life challenging issues like u clearly stated out you might have urs. we ve ours added to infertility as well.simply put, this thread is for a particular topic and dats y we all joined to discuss d very topic and nothing else. you can create a new thread for a message u want to pass accross. i beleive pple in need of the messages can join.PPLE TRY IVF NOT BECAUSE THEY DONT KNOW THERE IS ADOPTION, BUT THEY WANT TO ENSURE THEY VE TRIED EVERYTHING TO GIVE THEM THEIR MIRACLE OF HAVING THEIR CHILD. a couple will know wen dey feel like moving to the next phase.To my ttc sisters remember, WHEN THE WORLD SAY'S ITS OVER, HOPE SAY'S TRY IT ONE MORE TIME.babydust!

.

Please moderator, hide Mrs chima's comments, it is senseless and insensitive to what we are trying to achieve on this thread. This is IVF support thread and it is very sensitive.If you are so interested in adoption, you don't have to break a sweat in creating new thread on "adoption",those that are interested will join you up there.Thanks.

Sending babydust and sticky vibes to all the TTC women.

@blendy77, well said.
@mrs chima, d issue of infertility is quite a sensitive one esp. on ds thread. Its obvious u never went thru infertility else u wouldnt say 'some women are nt meant to have kids.' its quite hurtful frm a fellow woman to another. Let me ask u: y did u have kids with ur husband? Y did u nt adopt kids urself irrespective of d kids u have? Or y dnt u give ur kids up for adoption? Have u ever experienced 'infertility'? Will u want ur daughter or son's wife never to have kids cos accdn to u, not every woman is meant to have?
U need to b encouraging n nt critizing. D fact that u had ur kids easily dsnt give u room to 'critisize' others. It is said that in situations lyk these if u have nothin to say then dnt say anythin at all. U really need to think before u talk. . .and also learn to respect other people in whateva situation u find them in.

Smh....

chima dont even respond. I know you didnt mean any harm.

MsDarkSkin: Smh....

chima dont even respond. I know you didnt mean any harm.

My co-worker finalized her adoption last week and we are throwing her a party at the office tomorrow and the baby is adorable!

madam L: my sister is now an apostle of deciding fast ib these issues and facing fate early. another sister now thirty is also battling infertility but we have all learnt and the decision will be faster this time. she plans to adopt early and if the great one gives her biological kids she will also be very grateful. i experienced great grace. i had three but there are huge unintended gaps in between one kid and another and stopped birth at age thirty two.

I am glad that your sister accepted reality for what it is and didn't give up being a parent by accepting another option. She is doing a noble deed adopting and one less child is without a parent. My co-worker's sister tried IVF for five years before she decided to adopt fraternal twins. She is engaged to be married and they have recently gotten news from the surrogate mother (she is five months pregnant). They are having a boy! She found out that she wasn't able to conceive because of her weak uterus but she was able to produce eggs which was good news. She is a parent because she found other options that was available to her.

I hope your sister's adoption is speedy and successful.

champs: Please moderator, hide Mrs chima's comments, it is senseless and insensitive to what we are trying to achieve on this thread. This is IVF support thread and it is very sensitive.If you are so interested in adoption, you don't have to break a sweat in creating new thread on "adoption",those that are interested will join you up there.Thanks.

Sending babydust and sticky vibes to all the TTC women.

Don't take it personal. It will be okay.