Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer:     "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator:     "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer:     "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator:     "Sir, they are our opening hours".
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Samsung Electronics
Caller:          "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator:     "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller:           "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC  wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator:      "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller:          "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"

Operator:      " Doesn't the product give you a clue?"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
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Directory Enquiries
Caller:               "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator:          "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller:               "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator:        "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller:             "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
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Tech Support:      "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer:             "OK".
Tech Support:      "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer:             "No".
Tech Support:      "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer:             "No".
Tech Support:      "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".

Customer:            "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
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Tech Support:          "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer:                 "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Caller:  "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it.

If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true story fro m the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator:         "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller:              "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator:         "What sort of trouble??"
Caller:              "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator:         "Went away?"
Caller:              "They disappeared."
Operator:         "Hmm So what does your screen lo ok like now?"
Caller:              "Nothing."
Operator:         "Nothing??"
Caller:              "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator:         "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller:              "How do I tell?"
Operator:         "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller:              "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator:         "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller:              "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator:         "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller:              "What's a monitor?"
Operator:         "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller:               "I don't know."
Operator:          "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller:              "Yes, I think so."
Operator:         "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.   

Caller:              "Yes, it is."
Operator:         "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller:                "No."
Operator:          "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller:                "Okay, here it is."
Operator:          "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller:                "I can't reach."
Operator:          "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller:               "No."
Operator:          "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller:               "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator:          "Dark??"
Caller:               "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller:         &nbs p;     "I can't."
Operator:          "No? Why not??"
Caller:               "Because there's a power failure."
Operator:  "A power,  A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

Caller:               "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator:         "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller:                "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator:            "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller:                 "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator:             "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

NO! Diz cudnt actually b actual conversations. Lmao

@Migines

Oh yes they were!!!!

MEN THIS IS HILARIOUS
u know they record all thses conv in naija aswell it ll be the bomb if someone acn bring it out too, naija chapter ll be crazy

So hilarious.

This is so damn funny.
Especially the last one.

Really cool

@clemcykul


why da angry faces

maybe its the keyboard working on it s own

really cool

This one came from a friend of mine working as a call centre agent in globacom:

Operator: Good day, how can i help you?
Caller: I set my broda test yestaday, the fone take di money, yet my broda neva reply. WHY??!!!!(shouting).

Funny. Very funny

LMAO
Hilarious, Especially the last one.

NaJa HaJe:


Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

Word!!

@og2711

i didn't understand

hehe

It’s so funny how quickly ‘harmless’ English words become a major source of worry in Missing PIN! I mean, words that would ordinarily have registered a general meaning become so confusing that even the agents laugh at the end of such conversations. Let’s check out the conversations below:

Conversation A

A medical doctor, who has had a bad day, calls over a badly scratched recharge card. The call is answered by an agent who has just spent 12 minutes solving a query.

Agent: May I know your name please?

Caller: My name is Dr. Olumide

At that point, Dr. Olumide is interrupted by a third party, and the agent gets agitated

Agent: Dr. Olumide, u are still on call

Dr.: No, I’m not.

Agent: But u are still talking to me

Dr.: That’s because I’m not on call

Agent: (Now really irritated) If u are not on call, how come u are still speaking with me

Dr.: Look, whatever u call ur name, if I was on call, I wouldn’t be speaking with u!

Agent: Dr. Olumide, I think it’s insulting for u to refer to me as ‘whatever’. Surely, can be more polite than this!!

Dr.: Look, I don’t care how u feel. I thought u were educated.

Agent: And I thought u were medical doctor

Dr.: Of course I am. But if are really educated, u would know that doctors are busy to make phone calls when they are on call

Agent: I’ve had enough of ur insults sir, and may have to end ur call.

Dr.: U are a fool! U can’t end my call. Who are u to end my call. U are not my boss!

Agent: QA, the caller is uncooperative and abusive. I’m ending this call!!! Thank u for choosing…, Why am I even thanking you? …I’m ending the call Dr. whatever!!!!!!



The Gist: to an agent ‘being on call’ means ‘solving a query via telephone conversation’. But to a medical doctor, ‘being on call’ means ‘being on duty’!!!! Una see the wahala?



Conversation B

Tunde, an ‘educated’ subscriber calls over a badly scratched recharge card, and after the exchange of pleasantries explanation of what to do, the following conversation ensued:

Tunde: N

Agent: N for what?

Tunde: N for Nigeria
Agent: Ok

Tunde: ‘G’ for Ghana
Agent: Ok

Tunde: ‘W’ for ‘What’ (PS: W starts the word ‘WHAT’!)

Agent: W for what?

Tunde: W for ‘what’ now!

Agent: That’s what I’m asking u. U are the one with the card. W for what?

Tunde: yes, W for ‘what’

Agent: Tunde, pls u are becoming uncooperative. U may have to end ur call and call us back when u are ready

Tunde: I’m ready. Pls let’s go on!

Agent: Ok then. After G for Ghana , what do u have?

Tunde: W

Agent: W for what?

Tunde: Yes now! ‘W’ for ‘what’!

Agent: (Inhales deeply to control his anger). Tunde, pls take ur card to a business centre agent who can help u call the serial number properly. Thank you for calling……,



Check this out:

If ur landlord/landlady calls customer care and asks that a certain badly scratched recharge card be loaded into ur girlfriend/boyfriend’s phone, what would you do?

Scenario 1

Akpors, a Niger Delta militant, calls call centre over his recharge card

Agent: Akpors, please represent each letter with any word of ur choice so that I can understand what u mean

Akpors: Bros, abeg help me do am. I go call am well well so that u go understand

Agent: Ok, go on then.

Akpors: N

Agent: For Nigeria
Akpors: Yes bros. G

Agent: For Ghana
Akpors: Yes bros. P

Agent: For petrol

Akpors: Bros, wetin u talk now?

Agent: I said P for petrol. Akpors’ voice rises in anger

Akpors: So una think say una wise abi? I wan call , Shell Petroleum go block am, abi wetin concern us with petrol? Anyway, make I just inform u say di reason why I bin wan call una na to tell u say we don kidnap 3 of ur oyinbos o. Go tell ur oga wetin I tell u now. I no go call again cos I don already send u to dem………………,



Scenario 2

Yinka, who just suffered a heartbreak, calls call centre over her recharge card. As the discussion progresses, the network begins to fluctuate and the agent calls Yinka’s attention to it.

Agent: Yinka, I can hardly understand what u are saying. You are breaking up; pls…………. Yinka quckly interrupts

Yinka: Haba! You should at least listen to my own side of the story! So, Kola has fed u lies about me, shey? Infact, we broke up last week. What did he tell u about me? But u are a lady like me now. Just pray u don’t fall into the hand of someone like him. He’s……………………, Story! Story!!



Scenario 3

A chieftain of a political party calls Call Centre over his recharge card. The agent tries explaining how the serial number should be called, but the party chieftain does not understand. However, the agent realizes that someone in the background seems to have an idea of how to call the serial number. So:

Agent: Sir, there’s someone with u over there who seems to have an understanding of what I’m talking about

Party Chief: Yes, there’s someone here with me. He’s my P.A

Agent: Pls give the phone to the other party so that he can call the serial number for me

Party Chief: Which party? Ohhhhhh! U have become their campaign manager, right? It has gotten to this stage, eh? I bought a card with my money but can’t load it cos I belong to a rival party. U pple will be dealt with appropriately. I’m sure u are only posing as an agent, u must have routed this call to ur national headquarters. U can be sure that all the national dailies will write about this barbaric, animalistic, cannibalistic, and politically lethargic action…………………………


TO BE CONTINUED!

;Dchei!! na u dey kill me hia so

;Dfunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyy lol

Actual Call Center

Na wa for call centers

this joke na dry one o o o