Marriage: Women decry a lack of financially eligible suitors


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hWypHOGur8

In Nigeria and across Africa today, women today are struggling to find men who earn as much as they do.

There is a shortage of economically attractive men and this has contributed to battles for control in relationships in which the women outearn their men. According to the young women in the trending video below, a good man is hard to find, especially in this economy.

Although we like to think marriage is based on love, they say, it “also is fundamentally an economic transaction,” and women want partners whom they can call their equals.

Two of the women on the panel confessed they'd fought with their partners, exchanging blows over money and control.

So, here are the questions for discussion within this thread:

1. Does a “lack of good jobs” for men contribute to loss of male control in a relationship?

2. Have you been in a romantic relationship in which a partner who had economic power over you, was tempted to control you or abuse you physically or verbally?

3. How do you go about handling it?

Please watch the video and share your opinion.

Zigzagman:
In Nigeria and across Africa today, women today are struggling to find men who earn as much as they do.

According to the young women in the trending video below, a good man is hard to find, especially in this economy. There is a shortage of economically attractive men and this has contributed to battles for control in relationships in which the women outearn their men.

Although we like to think marriage is based on love, they say, it “also is fundamentally an economic transaction,” and women want partners whom they can call their equals.

Two of the women on the panel confessed they'd fought with their partners, exchanging blows over money and control.

So, here are the questions for discussion within this thread:

1. Does a “lack of good jobs” for men contribute to loss of male control in a relationship?

2. Have you been in a romantic relationship in which a partner who had economic power over you, was tempted to control you or abuse you physically or verbally?

3. How do you go about handling it?

Please watch the video and share your opinion.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdgb4cIcgec

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Dimaya:
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Zigzagman:


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Can you summarise the video

Zigzagman:
1. Does a “lack of good jobs” for men contribute to loss of male control in a relationship?

whether a man has money or not is IRRELEVANT to who has control in a r/ship... African society/culture and religion is very adamant about it. if you are a man, then you are the head of the family, whether you earn more than your wife and/or you are unemployed.

2. Have you been in a romantic relationship in which a partner who had economic power over you, was tempted to control you or abuse you physically or verbally?

nobody, and i repeat, NOBODY should ever date/marry a woman who is A) disrespectful and or B) abusive physicaly/verbally to her man.... whether you are rich or broke. if that woman has a problem with you being the head of the family, tell her to go argue her case with Nigerian culture/society/religion.

3. How do you go about handling it?

you look for women who are respectful, caring, understanding etc and stop dating/marrying these liability women who value men upon how much money they have. if your woman's respect for you and your family is down to how much money you can bring, then that woman is a liability and should be discarded asap!

Assuming a man married you when he had money,along the line he got broke.does that mean the respect should end because he is broke?if a woman has such mentality,dump her sorry ass.Date someone who likes and respects you genuinely as the head of the home wether money dey or not.we have lost our values,alot of women out there with entitlement mentality,money is important ,yes,doesnt mean all condition is permanent.

MrBrownJay1:


whether a man has money or not is IRRELEVANT to who has control in a r/ship... African society/culture and religion is very adamant about it. if you are a man, then you are the head of the family, whether you earn more than your wife and/or you are unemployed.



nobody, and i repeat, NOBODY should ever date/marry a woman who is A) disrespectful and or B) abusive physicaly/verbally to her man.... whether you are rich or broke. if that woman has a problem with you being the head of the family, tell her to go argue her case with Nigerian culture/society/religion.



you look for women who are respectful, caring, understanding etc and stop dating/marrying these liability women who value men upon how much money they have. if your woman's respect for you and your family is down to how much money you can bring, then that woman is a liability and should be discarded asap!

How can you tell whether a woman will disrespect you before you marry her?

Aaaaarghmed:
Assuming a man married you when he had money,along the line he got broke.does that mean the respect should end because he is broke?if a woman has such mentality,dump her sorry ass.Date someone who likes and respects you genuinely as the head of the home wether money dey or not.we have lost our values,alot of women out there with entitlement mentality,money is important ,yes,doesnt mean all condition is permanent.

How can you tell?

you have to have the money conversation. Ask her what share of the family bills will she want to take? Negotiate hard

Anything less than 60-40 should tell you that you'll have problems if your income takes a hit

Dimaya:
How can you tell whether a woman will disrespect you before you marry her?

majority of time you can tell by the way you see them treat others in their life.... but beware, as there are many women/men out there who pretend to be who they are not for a long time... so the idea is that THE MINUTE THAT PERSON SHOWS YOU ANY TYPE OF LACK OF RESPECT (OR ANY TYPE OF ABUSE), YOU MUST GET RID OF THEM, THERE AND THEN!

MrBrownJay1:


majority of time you can tell by the way you see them treat others in their life.... but beware, as there are many women/men out there who pretend to be who they are not for a long time... so the idea is that THE MINUTE THAT PERSON SHOWS YOU ANY TYPE OF LACK OF RESPECT (OR ANY TYPE OF ABUSE), YOU MUST GET RID OF THEM, THERE AND THEN!

this is hard to follow.

Zigzagman:
this is hard to follow.

in a r/ship, lack of respect and/or abuse of any kind, is a deal breaker, nobody should ever stand for it or even "manage" it.
these people are showing you small traits of WHO THEY REALLY ARE... if you dont act upon it there and then, then it will be your downfall in the long run (because as time goes on, they get more comfortable in the r/ship and their true disrespectful/abusive self comes out even more)

Dimaya:


How can you tell?

I saw the signs,but I was blinded by love.Just tell her you are broke even though you have money,allow her spend for you for sometime and see.As an experience master,here is a short story of what happened to me..I travelled all the way from state to assist my ex to house hunt,she gave me the transport to hold ,we dey waka follow agent to check one house and along the line ,me and my ex had an argument,do you know that this girl asked me to give her back all the remaining money she gave me ,down to the last penny,embarrased me in front of the agent.The man sef weak.

[right][/right]

MrBrownJay1:


in a r/ship, lack of respect and/or abuse of any kind, is a deal breaker, nobody should ever stand for it or even "manage" it.
these people are showing you small traits of WHO THEY REALLY ARE... if you dont act upon it there and then, then it will be your downfall in the long run (because as time goes on, they get more comfortable in the r/ship and their true disrespectful/abusive self comes out even more)

how do you differentiate one-off situations from habitual disrespect? at why point will it be just enough for people to leave?

Zigzagman:
[right][/right]how do you differentiate one-off situations from habitual disrespect? at why point will it be just enough for people to leave?

IMHO, any form of disrespect, whether one off or habitual, would be a no-no. i dont need to teach people to respect me, because if they cant naturally respect me, then nothing i will teach them can fix that.

Aaaaarghmed:
I saw the signs,but I was blinded by love.Just tell her you are broke even though you have money,allow her spend for you for sometime and see.As an experience master,here is a short story of what happened to me..I travelled all the way from state to assist my ex to house hunt,she gave me the transport to hold ,we dey waka follow agent to check one house and along the line ,me and my ex had an argument,do you know that this girl asked me to give her back all the remaining money she gave me ,down to the last penny,embarrased me in front of the agent.The man sef weak.

why you sef dey try help ex house hunt? Na you cause am naa

Zigzagman:
why you sef dey try help ex house hunt? Na you cause am naa

maybe I did not write the story well,she was my babe at that time, I was helping her house hunt.we have broken up.Thats why I am referring to her as an Ex

Aaaaarghmed:
maybe I did not write the story well,she was my babe at that time, I was helping her house hunt.we have broken up.Thats why I am referring to her as an Ex

we hear you

Zigzagman:


we hear you

resist the urge to shalaye

na so

Feminists and preacher of female empowernments have done more harm than good

Zigzagman:
Marriage: Women decry a lack of financially eligible suitors


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hWypHOGur8

In Nigeria and across Africa today, women today are struggling to find men who earn as much as they do.

According to the young women in the trending video below, a good man is hard to find, especially in this economy. There is a shortage of economically attractive men and this has contributed to battles for control in relationships in which the women outearn their men.

Although we like to think marriage is based on love, they say, it “also is fundamentally an economic transaction,” and women want partners whom they can call their equals.

Two of the women on the panel confessed they'd fought with their partners, exchanging blows over money and control.

So, here are the questions for discussion within this thread:

1. Does a “lack of good jobs” for men contribute to loss of male control in a relationship?

2. Have you been in a romantic relationship in which a partner who had economic power over you, was tempted to control you or abuse you physically or verbally?

3. How do you go about handling it?

Please watch the video and share your opinion.

orjibra1:
Feminists and preacher of female empowernments have done more harm than good

wahala for who turn feminist

orjibra1:
Feminists and preacher of female empowernments have done more harm than good

Female empowerment is much needed but we also shouldn't leave the boy child alone

Dimaya:


Female empowerment is much needed but we also shouldn't leave the boy child alone

i keep saying that after you finish all these female empowerment, who is going to marry all these empowered females? who?

Zigzagman:


i keep saying that after you finish all these female empowerment, who is going to marry all these empowered females? who?

I also am wondering the same things

Zigzagman:


i keep saying that after you finish all these female empowerment, who is going to marry all these empowered females? who?

The so called women empowerment is one reason fraud and corruption have persisted in Nigeria because men now resort to cutting corners in order to meet up with the demands of their supposedly empowered women.

Dimaya:


Female empowerment is much needed but we also shouldn't leave the boy child alone

Men should be in the fore front of empowering the boy child but little is being done in that direction as there is little or no intentionality in raising the male child in our sphere.

Mindlog:


Men should be in the fore front of empowering the boy child but little is being done in that direction as there is little or no intentionality in raising the male child in our sphere.

if you know the number of opportunities i have lost because I am not a woman. Na wa o

Jman06:
The so called women empowerment is one reason fraud and corruption have persisted in Nigeria because men now resort to cutting corners in order to meet up with the demands of their supposedly empowered women.

d matter get as e be o

there's opportunity for everyone if you search for it. you can't live in your village and hope that opportunity will find you