Truth is that the dude has already taken the action.
Pls mods don't take this to front page.

I have this dude staying in the compound behind my house. We weren't friends in the beginning ( I no even Sabi hob nob for my area) but we got talking and became a bit close when I got to learn that he is from my region.

We went out this evening for a drink as we usually do some Sunday evenings and after a couple of beers, he opened up that he is leaving the neighborhood. He is married with a son and works but he is moving out alone. I never really suspected he was having marital issues because he seems a very decent, knowledgeable and calm guy from his outlook on life. The wife also seems like a nice person.

Here is the issue. Dude is the first born and has lost his dad few years back but the mum is still alive. She lives in same city somewhere else but mostly stays alone as the other children are grown and has left home.

The wife hates seeing the mother and the other siblings whenever they come VISITING. She always raises hell. ( Note that they don't cause any trouble of any sort) This guy has talked severally to the wife but she has remained adamant to the point where whenever the mum or siblings visits, she shuts down the kitchen and the man has resorted to buying food from restaurants.

he opened up that he has gotten a flat somewhere and furniture will be coming in by the week. He is moving out alone. His only worry is his son. He loves the boy so much and he is worried how the son will take it

I feel unhappy but he has already taken his position. After telling me( we talked for hours) , I was in a pensive mood as I really don't know what to tell him. Not that it will change anything as he has committed so much financially. He bought every thing again from scratch

Let me call two ladies who are objective enough and balanced in their opinion to weigh in on this issue.

Cc: frozen70, ahnie.
Your opinions are needed

You have played your part by talking to him.try place your self in his shoes?

Imagine your mum and sibling cannot visit youin your home,you paid the rentage,to add salt to injury,she's even saucy and took it a step farther by locking the kitchen.

Which right thinking man in his right senses will tolerate that?
Let's be frank with ourselves and keep hypocrisy aside.

The man is even lucky his family hasn't even cut ties with him yet and his mental health is still somehow intact,if it were to be some men,dem for don beat craze out from the woman .nor be every body Sabi tolerate nonsense.


The woman has use her hand to scatter her home,so it's absolutely no fault from the man,pls let the man breeeet.
Let his flat, furniture,his mum and his mental health breeeeeeet.

ahnie:
You have played your part by talking to him.try place your self in his shoes?

Imagine your mum and sibling cannot visit youin your home,you paid the rentage,to add salt to injury,she's even saucy and took it a step farther by locking the kitchen.

Which right thinking man in his right senses will tolerate that?
Let's be frank with ourselves and keep hypocrisy aside.

The man is even lucky his family hasn't even cut ties with him yet and his mental health is still somehow intact,if it were to be some men,dem for don beat craze out from the woman .nor be every body Sabi tolerate nonsense.


The woman has use her hand to scatter her home,so it's absolutely no fault from the man,pls let the man breeeet.
Let his flat, furniture,his mum and his mental health breeeeeeet.

Just like you, I'm not against his actions. He has given enough room for change but seems the wife is not sensible enough. She will learn the hard way

GorillaApp:


.
Your opinions are needed

Very good.

Men Shud not tie Dem selves to any woman or her child..

You can have lots of women & children.

Secondly, men Shud try an empower their brodas and sisters... It's obvious his relatives are broke and his wife is very materialistic.

ahnie:
You have played your part by talking to him.try place your self in his shoes?

Imagine your mum and sibling cannot visit youin your home,you paid the rentage,to add salt to injury,she's even saucy and took it a step farther by locking the kitchen.

Which right thinking man in his right senses will tolerate that?
Let's be frank with ourselves and keep hypocrisy aside.

The man is even lucky his family hasn't even cut ties with him yet and his mental health is still somehow intact,if it were to be some men,dem for don beat craze out from the woman .nor be every body Sabi tolerate nonsense.


The woman has use her hand to scatter her home,so it's absolutely no fault from the man,pls let the man breeeet.
Let his flat, furniture,his mum and his mental health breeeeeeet.

U go live longer..

GorillaApp:
Truth is that the dude has already taken the action.
Pls mods don't take this to front page.

I have this dude staying in the compound behind my house. We weren't friends in the beginning ( I no even Sabi hob nob for my area) but we got talking and became a bit close when I got to learn that he is from my region.

We went out this evening for a drink as we usually do some Sunday evenings and after a couple of beers, he opened up that he is leaving the neighborhood. He is married with a son and works but he is moving out alone. I never really suspected he was having marital issues because he seems a very decent, knowledgeable and calm guy from his outlook on life. The wife also seems like a nice person.

Here is the issue. Dude is the first born and has lost his dad few years back but the mum is still alive. She lives in same city somewhere else but mostly stays alone as the other children are grown and has left home.

The wife hates seeing the mother and the other siblings whenever they come VISITING. She always raises hell. ( Note that they don't cause any trouble of any sort) This guy has talked severally to the wife but she has remained adamant to the point where whenever the mum or siblings visits, she shuts down the kitchen and the man has resorted to buying food from restaurants.

he opened up that he has gotten a flat somewhere and furniture will be coming in by the week. He is moving out alone. His only worry is his son. He loves the boy so much and he is worried how the son will take it

I feel unhappy but he has already taken his position. After telling me( we talked for hours) , I was in a pensive mood as I really don't know what to tell him. Not that it will change anything as he has committed so much financially. He bought every thing again from scratch

Let me call two ladies who are objective enough and balanced in their opinion to weigh in on this issue.

Cc: frozen70, ahnie.
Your opinions are needed

Honestly this is hard because him getting another apartment means that he may likely get another woman who will be in and out of his life ans before you know it, his family will push him to pregnant that woman ans they will welcome her with open arms just to spite this current wife

At the end the dude will now be having two women in his life and the one outside will keep trying to pull him down since she can't have him alone

The one inside may not really know the Genesis of her coming or even if she knows, she won't know a lot about it so she may not be prayerful to protect her man

So if anything happens to his second family, all eyes will be on the first woman, even if it's a coincidence

I think at this stage, if the man really love his wife and wants absolute peace, let the man invite her parents wherever they are and invite his own family

This is because when a woman is acting naughty, it's only her parents or family that can bring her senses back

These family gathering will give everyone the opportunity to open up all they have kept under their sleeves and apologizes will be made from where the fault is coming from, even if from your his siblings or from your wife

Am very sure that some thing positive will come out of this reconciliation gathering

Then they can all move in to the new apartment

But if the man is very sure that he is done with the woman, let him trick her home to visit her parents and both of them will travel to see her parents, when they get there he should tell his parents that for now he is done with her and the marriage because of her attitude to his family and anything he can mention

That alone will even shake the roof of that house

After that report, he should just leave them there and go, they will look for him and if they successed in wining the man's heart, she is coming back with a condition that she will take a reconciliation move with your family

So anytime she fixes date and inform your mum to invite others that's when the reconciliation will take and her parents will be in attendance

After this she will humble herself

I purposely didn't ask what she did to them
But for all of them to be having issues with her and she locks the kitchen when they are around shows that she is just being naughty and crazy and that should not be encouraged

ahnie:
You have played your part by talking to him.try place your self in his shoes?

Imagine your mum and sibling cannot visit youin your home,you paid the rentage,to add salt to injury,she's even saucy and took it a step farther by locking the kitchen.

Which right thinking man in his right senses will tolerate that?
Let's be frank with ourselves and keep hypocrisy aside.

The man is even lucky his family hasn't even cut ties with him yet and his mental health is still somehow intact,if it were to be some men,dem for don beat craze out from the woman .nor be every body Sabi tolerate nonsense.


The woman has use her hand to scatter her home,so it's absolutely no fault from the man,pls let the man breeeet.
Let his flat, furniture,his mum and his mental health breeeeeeet.

Coming from a woman... Wow! This is the most apt, unbiased, knowledgeable, precise & wonderful comments I've read in weeks. More wisdom ma

frozen70:


Honestly this is hard because him getting another apartment means that he may likely get another woman who will be in and out of his life ans before you know it, his family will push him to pregnant that woman ans they will welcome her with open arms just to spite this current wife

At the end the dude will now be having two women in his life and the one outside will keep trying to pull him down since she can't have him alone

The one inside may not really know the Genesis of her coming or even if she knows, she won't know a lot about it so she may not be prayerful to protect her man

So if anything happens to his second family, all eyes will be on the first woman, even if it's a coincidence

I think at this stage, if the man really love his wife and wants absolute peace, let the man invite her parents wherever they are and invite his own family

This is because when a woman is acting naughty, it's only her parents or family that can bring her senses back

These family gathering will give everyone the opportunity to open up all they have kept under their sleeves and apologizes will be made from where the fault is coming from, even if from your his siblings or from your wife

Am very sure that some thing positive will come out of this reconciliation gathering

Then they can all move in to the new apartment

But if the man is very sure that he is done with the woman, let him trick her home to visit her parents and both of them will travel to see her parents, when they get there he should tell his parents that for now he is done with her and the marriage because of her attitude to his family and anything he can mention

That alone will even shake the roof of that house

After that report, he should just leave them there and go, they will look for him and if they successed in wining the man's heart, she is coming back with a condition that she will take a reconciliation move with your family

So anytime she fixes date and inform your mum to invite others that's when the reconciliation will take and her parents will be in attendance

After this she will humble herself

I purposely didn't ask what she did to them
But for all of them to be having issues with her and she locks the kitchen when they are around shows that she is just being naughty and crazy and that should not be encouraged

The woman's family is aware. He suspects the mother of the lady is in tacit support of her daughter's attitude( because I also suggested he talk to her family too)

GorillaApp:

The woman's family is aware. He suspects the mother of the lady is in tacit support of her daughter's attitude( because I also suggested he talk to her family too)

There should be an open challenge, from there he will know if her family is in support of her attitude and if they are in support of her attitude,
Good and fine they should take back their daughter and end it there

But if they are not in support of her attitude then you deal with the situation as advised above

You dont know what she already told her parents

She may tell them nonsense to paint his family bad

But whatever the gathering will open all doubts, truth and false about the whole issue

frozen70:


There should be an open challenge, from there he will know if her family is in support of her attitude and if they are in support of her attitude,
Good and fine they should take back their daughter and end it there

But if they are not in support of her attitude then you deal with the situation as advised above

You dont know what she already told her parents

She may tell them nonsense to paint his family bad

But whatever the gathering will open all doubts, truth and false about the whole issue

Nne Ka anyi kwu eziokwu,okwa ifu marriage the man and his wife is as good as gone,the man's mental health is almost gone and there's no love lost between him and his wife.


Secondly she extended her madness to his family, imagine locking her kitchen and starving the man's mum....it's not cool.

I m afraid if the man hasn't taken this decision of running away by renting his own house,he would have beaten or even murder the wife.

You can see he has fallen outta love with his wife,and his only concern his his son,he has the backing of his family to separate from his wife

Men are slumping and dying lately,it's because of issues like this.life is fragile abeg.

What kind of a wife is that? Are you sure she is mentally okay?

You see now! I wan marry I wan marry, you open your eye korokoro go marry nonsense and wahala! And then you now wish you were single again. This life sef!

If you must marry, better open all your eyes properly and marry RIGHT (and well), otherwise do NOT marry! It is better happily and peacefully single than frustratedly, unhappily married!

Thankfully, there is no marriage in heaven.

ahnie:


Nne Ka anyi kwu eziokwu,okwa ifu marriage the man and his wife is as good as gone,the man's mental health is almost gone and there's no love lost between him and his wife.


Secondly she extended her madness to his family, imagine locking her kitchen and starving the man's mum....it's not cool.

I m afraid if the man hasn't taken this decision of running away by renting his own house,he would have beaten or even murder the wife.

You can see he has fallen outta love with his wife,and his only concern his his son,he has the backing of his family to separate from his wife

Men are slumping and dying lately,it's because of issues like this.life is fragile abeg.

Yes he is feed up with her
But then let him inform her family so that it will be official

That means it is like being separated but not divorced unless he wants it to be a divorced matter

Umunwayi di Egwu

Sequel to the last post....
I don't feel there is a need to create a new thread. I just wanted to get the opinion of some of the mature ladies that gave their opinion the last time, so kindly permit me to quote you. Don't feel offended. We just want to exhaust all reconciliatory opportunities. I'm already invested in this case.

So just like Frozen70 advised up there, we decided to get the family aware of why the man left to stay alone ( to avoid violence).
turns out the meeting was larger than anticipated. From the word go, it was clear the family of the lady was supporting their daughter tacitly.
After all said and done, the elder sister of the lady( wife) advised her younger sister to go see her mother in-law and try to reconcile with her and re-establish a relationship with her. She agreed there in the meeting.
My friend( former neighbour turned friend) allowed the lady to visit some weekends with the son. According to him, he didn't just want to ask her to move in when she hasn't mend fences with his family He waited for months, hoping that the lady will at least call mama or visit her and even reach out to other members of the family. She never did she just kept talking about moving in completely with the man
So just last week, bro decided to take things up a notch. He told the wife that she should make out time to go and spend a couple of days with his mother together with their son. She pointedly refused and said that no lady does that
The husband told him that if she doesn't go, then there is no need coming back together as one. According to him, he cannot have a divided family.
His fear is, what if he japa in the future, the woman will never have anything to do with his family and they won't even have access to his son anymore
We are puzzled because I know a lot of women who visit their mother in law and even spend a day or two.
This man has tried but this woman is unyielding. Please my sisters, I want to humbly ask, Is there anything wrong with visiting or spending days with your mother-in-law? Is it out of place?
I'm asking because let it not seem as if the brother is taking a harsh step. He has said if she doesn't go and visit, then he is finally putting an end to everything. He is from the east and you know they do travel as family. How can they co-exist together when they go to the village? Is it not the place of the younger woman to swallow her pride and approach her mother-in-law?
Sorry for my ramblings. Since you have made an input before now, I wanted to get your opinion on this new development.
Tomorrow dem go say men are bad, what's there in going to your husband's mum? She was even willing to let bygone be bygone and just be your friend. What kind of pride do possess some women? Smh! I just told bro to focus on his life, sometime in the future, a good lady will come. EOD
Cc
ahnie
1sharon
Biglittlelois
Sanguine

GorillaApp:
Sequel to the last post....
I don't feel there is a need to create a new thread. I just wanted to get the opinion of some of the mature ladies that gave their opinion the last time, so kindly permit me to quote you. Don't feel offended. We just want to exhaust all reconciliatory opportunities. I'm already invested in this case.

So just like Frozen70 advised up there, we decided to get the family aware of why the man left to stay alone ( to avoid violence).
turns out the meeting was larger than anticipated. From the word go, it was clear the family of the lady was supporting their daughter tacitly.
After all said and done, the elder sister of the lady( wife) advised her younger sister to go see her mother in-law and try to reconcile with her and re-establish a relationship with her. She agreed there in the meeting.
My friend( former neighbour turned friend) allowed the lady to visit some weekends with the son. According to him, he didn't just want to ask her to move in when she hasn't mend fences with his family He waited for months, hoping that the lady will at least call mama or visit her and even reach out to other members of the family. She never did she just kept talking about moving in completely with the man
So just last week, bro decided to take things up a notch. He told the wife that she should make out time to go and spend a couple of days with his mother together with their son. She pointedly refused and said that no lady does that
The husband told him that if she doesn't go, then there is no need coming back together as one. According to him, he cannot have a divided family.
His fear is, what if he japa in the future, the woman will never have anything to do with his family and they won't even have access to his son anymore
We are puzzled because I know a lot of women who visit their mother in law and even spend a day or two.
This man has tried but this woman is unyielding. Please my sisters, I want to humbly ask, Is there anything wrong with visiting or spending days with your mother-in-law? Is it out of place?
I'm asking because let it not seem as if the brother is taking a harsh step. He has said if she doesn't go and visit, then he is finally putting an end to everything. He is from the east and you know they do travel as family. How can they co-exist together when they go to the village? Is it not the place of the younger woman to swallow her pride and approach her mother-in-law?
Sorry for my ramblings. Since you have made an input before now, I wanted to get your opinion on this new development.
Tomorrow dem go say men are bad, what's there in going to your husband's mum? She was even willing to let bygone be bygone and just be your friend. What kind of pride do possess some women? Smh! I just told bro to focus on his life, sometime in the future, a good lady will come. EOD
Cc
ahnie
1sharon
Biglittlelois
Sanguine

That wife of him is so stubborn and unyielding

I think if am the man, the marriage is over since she can't respect my mom

The guy should move on

As for his son, he will look for his dad when the time comes

Once a while he should send money to her because of his child and get a file jacket to record the receipt before she will deny it

Living with a stubborn woman leads to early grave to men

She is not the only woman on earth

Its easier to survive living with a stubborn man in marriage
Its difficult to survive living with a difficult woman in marriage