If I were to give you a microphone to recount your experiences on how being nice have earned you sheer callousness and disdain from others, I think it would be safe for me to assume that others won't have a chance to speak, my nice friend!

The hurt that comes with being repaid evil for good can be very deep and depressing. And hardly is there a really nice person who has not experienced such a cruel situation. Yet, the world is in short supply of such good persons.

Let's face it, is being nice a crime? Well, the answer is No. Then, why do people find it so convenient to turn a blind eye to nice people expecially when they are down and need help?

To be frank, I am not sure I have the answers to that question. Perhaps, those who have been in that space can tell us why they betrayed those who were once nice to them.
However, from my experiences and interactions, here are four things I believe nice people do wrongly and how they can adjust to avoid being hurt repeatedly.

1. They are blindly optimistic
Honestly, I don't know if most nice people need to be crucified for this but I certainly don't get why they can be so blindly optimistic. If more than two persons have had to behave the same way against you at different times, shouldn't that be an indicator that you are probably being nice in the wrong way? In my opinion, you being nice isn't the problem here but you being nice in a manner that is ineffective.
So, what should you do?
Be retrospective. Learn a million ways to be nice. if there is no where to learn from, then get creative. You can develop new ways to be nice. One thing you however must not do is to be dogma about how you are being nice.

2. They are nice without a purpose.
To be candid, it is a thing of pride to be nice and loved by many but if I must be sincere, it is a crime to be nice without a clear sense of purpose. I am not talking about you getting something back for being nice but I am saying that you can use your being nice as a tool to achieve some bigger non-self serving goals or even a fair self-serving goal.
So, what should you do?
If you have realized that you are such a person with a very tender heart, then, invest in knowing your environment and people around you. Basically, be intentional about being nice and rather than you always committed to people, get them to be committed to you. It is easier for you to forgive them when they err than for you to bear the pain of betrayal.

3. They mistake being nice as some sort of immunity.
This is the reason why many nice people go out of their way to please others. My dear friend, being nice does not make you in anyway invincible rather it makes you more vulnerable and considered weak. One thing you should know is that it takes forever for people to accept you as you truly are. In fact, some will never accept your niceness as genuine throughout their lifetime. So naturally, the fact that you are nice is a big red flag to many that you may be trying to gain cheap dominance. Sorry, what happens next is basic instinct and sadly if you don't stand well, you may be long gone before they realise their errors.
So, what should you do?
You need to first understand that you can't help everyone. No matter how good a person you are, there is still a limit to your capacity. So, as a first rule of thumb, always help only those who have genuinely attempted to help themselves. Let them show you proofs (even if it is fabricated, the joke isn't on you). Again, only help those who are completely helpless and can't help themselves. And lastly, for those who don't fall in either of these categories, let material things be the last option you will use to help them after motivating them with advices, ideas and encouragements. There is a chance you will pick them out in the process.

4. They easily trust people.
Many nice people are chronic empathizers who put themselves in the shoes of others. It becomes even worse if they happen to be some religious apologetics. But sadly, humans are not designed to be trusted because trust is an assured validation that nothing would go wrong. Unfortunately, there is no genuine way to mutually authenticate such validations between the trustee and the trusted.
So, what should you do?
Only have faith in others but not trust. Trust can only be earned and having faith in others is like you giving them the opportunity to be trusted. when you show faith in others, you are simply throwing them a challenge to choose better options in the moments of temptations.

In conclusion, being nice is not a crime but not being wise is an error. If you are nice and you are not wise, then, you are an enemy of yourself. Wisdom in this case for me simply means that you should be guided by knowledge and not emotions. The world is in a serious shortage of truly nice people and I hope you will consider my points and turn up for the world.

I'm nice but I don't do that number 4

De

Great points

#3 ✔️✔️✔️💯

IconicR:
I'm nice but I don't do that number 4

great!