shantti:


Lol
women don't physically abuse men?
Bye

keep supporting violence. If you like beat your wife, you go sleep for cell for days. If your wife is too naive to stand for herself your neighbours will do that for her free of charge.

Dominic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that.

thesicilian:
A man can feed his family for years and no one will hear about it. He's often proud to bear the responsibility. But the moment a woman starts bearing the responsibility, all hell must break loose, sooner or later

this marriage thing Sha,

Uhm...

I must commend the fact that you feel remorse for your actions but let it also be at the back of your mind that your husband won't forget the incident, he will forgive you because if not he would have called for a meeting or left the house for you.
Have you tried speaking with him or using his skills to make some money or if you can speak with him on the way forward for him.
Let him know you care about him if you truly do but if you don't care abt his present condition, you can continue carrying the burden of the family.
Take a time out and think of possible ways of making things work out between the 2 of you.

Remember what I wrote: He won't forget the incident but he will forgive you.

Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

HIPROFILE:



Una wait..oo I wan ask one important question..oo

Na the same mama born all these new generation wives?

Madam you see this your story eeh e no complete because that man may have come back drunk and smelling like skunk as you talk yes, But you see una eeh.. with that your mouth you have used it to beat the hell out of that man, you see that your husband eeh you don use your mouth kill am long ago… Funny enough when all was good and the man was making income from his work his money was being spent for everything suddenly he lost his job money ain't coming anymore just two years.
Thank God you stated he always hiss and sigh showing man is not happy with currently situation. Helplessly as he has become and unfortunately could not get enough moral support from his wife than using your mouth to kill him the more until he finally give up the ghost.

I say this cos I had a close family friend this same thing happened to and the husband eventually died.

Why didn't you ask the question on what to do first here on Nairaland before calling police on your husband when you actually know what his problem is not as if you knew him with such attitude before….what is even wrong with this ladies that call themselves wives this days? your type is the reason we have too many bachelors out there grown men now fear marriage.

Those old grown bachelor's you have are irresponsible. A responsible man will attract his like

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.

I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

If husband and wife has taken there matter to police station; divorce is already at the door; wan ma divorce ni sha

shantti:


Am talking about life after locking him not before locking him,

No matter the kind of mentality you think you have, u will not be comfortable staying under the same roof with him when he leave the cell, u don't know what he has in mind.

Forget Abt all these your rantings, imagination is different from reality. Even me as a man can't live with someone I locked in the cell, he might kill me in my sleep.

The highlight is that such a marriage will be automatically over, that's the truth, the marriage cannot continue.

So does he know what I have in mind?
So you sef no say i fit kill you for your sleep abi?
We go dey fear eachother, if I should lock my husband up in a cell, I will never have anything intimate with him for a long time to come even if we live under same roof.

I won't cook for him again but he can have access to food on the house, nor sleep near him. Infact he will not exist, he will be living like a stranger because I will not recognise him anymore as a husband. That's a subtle way of telling him I don't want him anymore.

Anything wey make me lock my husband, I don't value him again.

Anonymoususher:
You did right by arresting him


Seee I am a guy ooo but I detest men that do that. I never saw my dad hit my mom for one day and once of it all, we lost our sister to an abusive husband.

We kept begging her to leave that Bastard but she refused until he sucked the life out of her.

We couldn't do anything because his family is high and mighty.
So you did very well.

Shantti i guess this is also a woman.

Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

The solution is that u should just prepare to pack ur bags.

Verokeena:



It was more of a warning to him.. I didn't neglect him there.. he had access to his phone.. even though as first he wasn't taking my call but I kept texting him..

Now the thing is he was supposed to come out the next day but he refused. Said since I placed him there he'd wish to die there(emotional blackmail if you ask me)

I had to go with his friends to beg him the next day..

this daughter of Eve...see what u have reduce ur husband to;his financial misfortunes will not be far from your doings

Chiefpriestt:
Before a man opens his mouth to accuse his wife of infidelity, he must have seen the signal. Madam am not judging you or condemning you but your husband is most likely correct with his thought about you. Lest I forget, I presume you never kept dinner for him hence his animalistic behaviour towards you that night. Get your parents to plead with him for forgiveness if not, that man will deal with you in a very Cruel manner in future. My one cent

keep supporting domestic violence. Let's assume she didn't keep dinner for him as you said. Does that warrant hitting her and spoiling stuff in the house? Lo
If you like beat your wife, you go sleep for cell for days. If your wife is too naive to stand for herself your neighbours will do that for her free of charge.

Dominic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that

Samantha124:
Hiding behind alcohol is not an excuse.

If he really was remorseful, he'd have apologized to her instead of using emotional blackmail afterwards.

Or are you going to tell me that he was also under the influence of alcohol when he started emotionally blackmailing her?

In Nigeria, many people see domestic violence perpetuated by a man as 'not critical' because the wife didn't die from it.

There is this societal configuration that issues like this should stay within family circles...in some places, the police won't even arrest the man unless some human right folks get involved.

SenatePresdo:


You are woman beater, just shut it.

If my brother beats his wife, and the woman lucks him up i will just laugh.

Why beat your wife? Be supporting evil.

no reasonable man will support Op husband. Any man supporting him is nothing but a wife beater

Gratefullheart:
this daughter of Eve...see what u have reduce ur husband to;his financial misfortunes will not be far from your doings

if you like beat your wife, you go sleep for cell for days. If your wife is too naive to stand for herself your neighbours will do that for her free of charge. Keep supporting domestic violence

LadyRosa:


Perpetual fear!
Guy preek no be problem oooo
If na that one you won take halla, PREEK NO BE PROBLEM,na women wey no get enough stress already dey carry man for head, not me.

I no marry with that una Nigeria mentality oo.I respect my husband and my husband respects himself. And yes, my husband knows I can lock him up if he abuses me. So it won't come to him as surprise because during marriage counselling I told him outright!

If he wants to be foolish, he should take it out of our matrimonial home.

And yes! He is the bread winner! No be me dey feed am.

Yes “Preek no be problem tell that to the lady”. She should move on and stop seeking for advice to make her marriage work. You already told your husband that’s your case and the way he’d react is between two of you.

I don’t support Violence she has done well by arresting him and should stop disturbing us on how he chose to react. If my wife arrest me for any reason if she likes she should call God to beg me I no go accept cos it’s already OVER. Though I’d never beat her.

Samantha124:
I'm sorry to say this, but your husband is childish.

If he was my husband and he starts emotionally blackmailing me like that by refusing to leave those police cells... I was going to leave him there until the police kick him out, or until he decides to leave.

As long as I'd have apologized to him and explained the reason why I got him arrested, I'd have left him there with his childish tantrums.

Maybe it's because I don't tolerate nonsense.

...when the whites have all abolished your culture and traditions

Mrbllymer:

Yes “Preek no be problem tell that to the lady”. She should move on and stop seeking for advice to make her marriage work. You already told your husband that’s your case and the way he’d react is between two of you.

I don’t support Violence she has done well by arresting him and should stop disturbing us on how he chose to react. If my wife arrest me for any reason if she likes she should call God to beg me I no go accept cos it’s already OVER. Though I’d never beat her.

She still wants him that's why is is disturbing here.

Apologising to him was a big mistake! The husband deserves worst.

A struggling woman with a jobless, drunk, vindictive wife abuser should worry more about the image being portrayed to her kids and not bringing him home. I rather he gets the hell out of the house. I will never have my kids exposed to such character in a father.

On the flip, side if my husband abuse me physically, I will cripple him. Infact, if my husband beats me, he will run,because he knows even my parents on their kneels begging on his behalf won't change my mind.

Even my father, the last time he laid his hand on me, for more than two weeks he had his hand hanging over his neck, he couldn't drive.

sketcherJ:
I am a man. I understand bearing responsibility but I think this is just out of context. The lady stated what happened. Was it her fault the husband lost the job? Is the husband’s act justifiable? So he has all the right to drink and beat her and all that. She shouldn’t talk?

It is very likely that once you hear from the man himself, you will no longer believe everything she said. Women are experts by nature at playing the victim.

Mrbllymer:

Yes “Preek no be problem tell that to the lady”. She should move on and stop seeking for advice to make her marriage work. You already told your husband that’s your case and the way he’d react is between two of you.

I don’t support Violence she has done well by arresting him and should stop disturbing us on how he chose to react. If my wife arrest me for any reason if she likes she should call God to beg me I no go accept cos it’s already OVER. Though I’d never beat her.

if if you like beat your wife, you go sleep for cell for days.

thesicilian:

It is very likely that once you hear from the man himself, you will no longer believe everything she said. Women are experts by nature at playing the victim.

domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that.

Brownking:

You did nothing wrong, if a man hits you lock him up asap, A man that cannot take care of his family and is reluctant to start a business or learn a skill is worse than an infidel. Never has worrying about a problem solved the problem. He needs to pray then go out and search for something to do.

You obviously have not really experienced this thing called life.

You should not feel quity if he was locked up because of domestic violence , you have done the right thing, by using the law, just imagine if he had killed you, his life will move on or if you use a sharp object to defend your self, you will properbly be in prioson.


Do not let people make you feel.bad, reporting a crime is not bad, especially when.it is not the first time, if he has been.doing it, and you have been tolerating it, reporting to authority is the best ,

The people here telling you what you did is bad, will be same people typing rest in peace if you die, or type why did she not report.


If he repeats it, go and report again you have done nothing wrong.



if he is not ready to chnage from beating you ,you should be planning to leave that marriage , your life is the most important thing.

Luckysbab:


The marriage is over. Bring in your perfect UnAfrican man to marry her.

if you care to know, most women are not happy in their marriage in Nigeria

thesicilian:

You obviously have not really experienced this thing called life.

you mean domestic violence? You should know domestic violence is a No. Even as backwards as Nigeria is, it is not tolorated. Domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that.

LadyRosa:


She still wants him that's why is is disturbing here.

Apologising to him was a big mistake! The husband deserves worst.

A struggling woman with a jobless, drunk, vindictive wife abuser should worry more about the image being portrayed to her kids and not bringing him home. I rather he gets the hell out of the house. I will never have my kids exposed to such character in a father.

On the flip, side if my husband abuse me physically, I will cripple him. Infact, if my husband beats me, he will run,because he knows even my parents on their kneels begging on his behalf won't change my mind.

Even my father, the last time he laid his hand on me, for more than two weeks he had his hand hanging over his neck, he couldn't drive.

I don’t judge marriages based on hearing only one particular side, there are lotta unknown variables and i have seen anybody describing stories without justifying their actions or saying things in their favor.

All these your descriptions or painting yourself mighty ain’t necessary, you are only limited to what you can do and not what the other person can do. You might be strong, intelligent and what have you but do know that another person is smarter and stronger than you and would do the unthinkable before you blink.

Your father ? Lmao funny.

EndRape2:
You should not feel quity if he was locked up because of domestic violence , you have done the right thing, by using the law, just imagine if he had killed you, his life will move on or if you use a sharp object to defend your self, you will properbly be in prioson.


Do not let people make you feel.bad, reporting a crime is not bad, especially when.it is not the first time, if he has been.doing it, and you have been tolerating it, reporting to authority is the best ,

The people here telling you what you did is bad, will be same people typing rest in peace if you die, or type why did she not report.


If he repeats it, go and report again you have done nothing wrong.



if he is not ready to chnage from beating you ,you should be planning to leave that marriage , your life is the most important thing.

She wasn’t asking for validation all she wants is how to get her husband back can you provide solutions to that ?

superemmy:
It's a clear case that your husband is going through depression and transferred aggression.

You should have just left the house for him with your kids to stay with your parents.
Laslas you don show am say you get power with the arrest. I can't judge you though...

But the man will never forget it.
I can't say whether the arrest is right or wrong. We live in an era where spouses kill each other.

Just understand he is frustrated...

The arrest is right. It has halt the intensity of the situation that was physical violence based and could have ended up in a murder.

UnfairLife7:
if if you like beat your wife, you go sleep for cell for days.

I don’t engage kids all these your rants and sleep for cell nonsense na for poor man in Nigeria and I don’t pray to be poor.

UnfairLife7:
you mean domestic violence? You should know domestic violence is a No. Even as backwards as Nigeria is, it is not tolorated. Domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that.

Just pray for your life, that you eventually get to marry a good woman. Because the way you talk I doubt if you have even had your first real girlfriend yet

You are very wrong, here, when a man is feeding his family, the wife is always supporting , either by cooking, keeping the house, cleaning ,she is very supportive, but you see men, when they are not bringing money they will still not support, they can not assist to sweep, assist to cook, assist to do anything, they will sleep wake and watch tv, no assiatnat to even take care of the baby,

Is that not wickedness? A woman will still go out, bring money and still run around to the market cook, take care of children and still take care of house,the mN not bringing money and still.not assisting in any domestic works will still be claiming head and demanding respect.


Even an Angel will not tolorate such.


The reason.why men provide for long without complain is because the woman is assiting

The reason why women provide and complain is because the man is not assisting in anything.


They are two differnet thing .


You can not be useless both financially and with your hands .


When a woman is overstretched it affects her mental health and she starts behaving mentally unstable

thesicilian:

Just pray for your life, that you eventually get to marry a good woman. Because the way you talk I doubt if you have even had your first real girlfriend yet

keep defending domestic violence. If you like beat your wife Mr married man, you will sleep in cell for days.

Mrbllymer:
I don’t engage kids all these your rants and sleep for cell nonsense na for poor man in Nigeria and I don’t pray to be poor.

try am. You will understand the rich also cry. You think domestic violence is tolorated or condole in Nigeria?

Mrbllymer:

She wasn’t asking for validation all she wants is how to get her husband back can you provide solutions to that ?

it's a win win for Op. The man lost a woman 3who could put up with him for good 2 years despite being jobless. It's quite easier for Op to get a good responsible man but her hubby must bounce back financially before any woman will take him serious.

Dominic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that.